OrthodoxChristianity.net
September 14, 2014, 10:11:11 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: Reminder: No political discussions in the public fora.  If you do not have access to the private Politics Forum, please send a PM to Fr. George.
 
   Home   Help Calendar Contact Treasury Tags Login Register  
Pages: 1   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: A Jewish Phenomenon  (Read 1490 times) Average Rating: 0
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Saint Iaint
This Poster Has Ignored Multiple Requests to Behave Better
High Elder
******
Offline Offline

Faith: Once Delivered
Posts: 625


The Truth Shall Be Reviled


WWW
« on: May 18, 2011, 05:12:28 AM »

A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year to absorb the culture.
 
When the son returned, he said, “Papa, I had a great time in Israel .  By the way, I converted to Christianity.”
 
“Oy vey,” said the father.  “What have I done?”  He took his problem to his best friend, Ira.


 
“Ira,” he said, “I sent my son to Israel , and he came home a Christian.  What can I do?”

“Funny you should ask,” said Ira.  “I too, sent my son to Israel , and he also came home a Christian.  Perhaps we should go see the rabbi.”



So they did, and they explained their problem to the rabbi.

“Funny you should ask,” said the rabbi.  “I, too, sent my son to Israel , and he also came home a Christian.  What is happening to our young people?”
 


And so they all prayed, telling the Lord about their sons.

As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the Heavens:  “Funny you should ask,” said the Voice… “I, too, sent My Son to Israel . . ”


~~~ ~~~ ~~~

†IC XC†
†NI KA†
Logged

Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute...

Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not giving heed to Jewish fables and commandments of men who turn from the truth.
Ioannis Climacus
High Elder
******
Offline Offline

Posts: 863


"There is no religion higher than TRUTH"


« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2011, 05:54:48 AM »

Haha  laugh

I like this - quite clever.
Logged

Note : Many of my posts (especially the ones antedating late 2012) do not reflect charity, tact, or even views I presently hold. Please forgive me for any antagonism I have caused.
Robert W
Self-appointed forum herald
Elder
*****
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Finland
Posts: 469


Love is no feeling


« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2011, 06:03:55 AM »

 laugh


Well done. Five points to Gryffindor.
Logged
quietmorning
QuietMorning
Archon
********
Online Online

Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: Antiochian
Posts: 2,136


St. Photini


WWW
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2011, 08:08:06 AM »

**smiles**

Logged

In His Mercy,
BethAnna
CRCulver
OC.net guru
*******
Offline Offline

Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Church of Finland and Romanian Orthodox Church
Posts: 1,159


St Stephen of Perm, missionary to speakers of Komi


WWW
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2011, 09:33:57 AM »

Saint Iaint, do you ever post about something besides the Jews?
Logged
IsmiLiora
Chronic Exaggerator
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Faith: One step closer!
Jurisdiction: Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America (GOA)
Posts: 3,434


Back by unpopular demand.


« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2011, 10:55:13 AM »

Saint Iaint, do you ever post about something besides the Jews?
Zionists.  Wink
Logged

She's touring the facility/and picking up slack.
--
"For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow." Ecclesiastes 1:18
--
I once believed in causes too, I had my pointless point of view --
Life went on no matter who was wrong or right
bogdan
OC.net guru
*******
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox
Posts: 1,615



« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2011, 11:23:05 AM »

Cheesy
Logged
podkarpatska
Merarches
***********
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: ACROD
Posts: 8,308


SS Cyril and Methodius Church, Mercer, PA


WWW
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2011, 11:41:09 AM »

Saint Iaint, do you ever post about something besides the Jews?

true, but it was  a cute story...the kind that the old-time priest toastmasters used to use at Church banquets. I am sure that all of us over fifty remember such a priest from our youth, be we Greeks, Ukrainians or whatever....brings back memories...

Priest, minister and rabbi jokes were common as well...
« Last Edit: May 18, 2011, 11:42:59 AM by podkarpatska » Logged
PoorFoolNicholas
Site Supporter
OC.net guru
*****
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Theologoumenon
Posts: 1,664


« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2011, 12:47:22 PM »

Give him a break guys, he's just telling a joke! Nice one BTW.
Logged
Saint Iaint
This Poster Has Ignored Multiple Requests to Behave Better
High Elder
******
Offline Offline

Faith: Once Delivered
Posts: 625


The Truth Shall Be Reviled


WWW
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2011, 05:59:31 PM »

Saint Iaint, do you ever post about something besides the Jews?

Why - you gonna report me to the ADL?

Why don't you check my post history and see if you really want to know?



Saint Iaint, do you ever post about something besides the Jews?
Zionists.  Wink

Good one...

So true!

What can I say? 9/11 made me very interested in their doings around the world...

The only other topic which has ever interested me so - is Orthodoxy.



To everyone without their feminine undergarments in a bunch that actually laughed (or even just smiled) and offered a kind word...

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed...

I thought it was perfect. Funny and true.

†IC XC†
†NI KA†
Logged

Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute...

Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not giving heed to Jewish fables and commandments of men who turn from the truth.
LizaSymonenko
Слава Ісусу Христу!!! Glory to Jesus Christ!!!
Global Moderator
Toumarches
******
Offline Offline

Faith: God's Holy Catholic and Apostolic Orthodox Church
Jurisdiction: Ukrainian Orthodox Church of the U.S.A.
Posts: 12,984



WWW
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2011, 07:14:33 PM »


I smiled.   Wink
Logged

Conquer evil men by your gentle kindness, and make zealous men wonder at your goodness. Put the lover of legality to shame by your compassion. With the afflicted be afflicted in mind. Love all men, but keep distant from all men.
—St. Isaac of Syria
JamesRottnek
Protokentarchos
*********
Offline Offline

Faith: Anglican
Jurisdiction: Episcopal Diocese of Arizona
Posts: 5,112


I am Bibleman; putting 'the' back in the Ukraine


« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2011, 09:19:50 PM »

Excellent *cue Burns hand thingy*
Logged

I know a secret about a former Supreme Court Justice.  Can you guess what it is?

The greatest tragedy in the world is when a cigarette ends.

American Spirits - the eco-friendly cigarette.

Preston Robert Kinney (September 8th, 1997-August 14, 2011
deusveritasest
Taxiarches
**********
Offline Offline

Faith: None
Jurisdiction: None
Posts: 7,528



WWW
« Reply #12 on: May 18, 2011, 11:23:40 PM »

Jesus became a Christian?  laugh
Logged

I stopped posting here in August 2011 because of stark disagreement with the policies of the administration and moderating team of the forums. If you desire, feel free to PM me, message me on Facebook (link in profile), or email me: cddombrowski@gmail.com
Shiny
Site Supporter
Moderated
Toumarches
*****
Offline Offline

Faith: Groucho Marxist
Jurisdiction: Dahntahn Stoop Haus
Posts: 13,267


Paint It Red


« Reply #13 on: May 18, 2011, 11:23:41 PM »

ROFL!!!!! Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
Logged

“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

– St. Ambrose of Milan
orthonorm
Hoplitarches
*************
Offline Offline

Faith: Sola Gratia
Jurisdiction: Outside
Posts: 16,502



« Reply #14 on: May 18, 2011, 11:24:30 PM »

I have some blistering Jew jokes, if we are going to go that route. Some schmaltzy, some not so . . .

Logged

Ignorance is not a lack, but a passion.
Justin Kissel
Formerly Asteriktos
Protospatharios
****************
Offline Offline

Posts: 29,772



« Reply #15 on: May 19, 2011, 01:29:02 AM »

I have some blistering Jew jokes, if we are going to go that route. Some schmaltzy, some not so . . .

Well there's nowhere safer to tell Jewish jokes than on an Orthodox Christian forum!

EDIT--Just to clarify, that wasn't a shot at the joke in the original post, which I thought was funny/clever.
« Last Edit: May 19, 2011, 01:31:30 AM by Asteriktos » Logged
Saint Iaint
This Poster Has Ignored Multiple Requests to Behave Better
High Elder
******
Offline Offline

Faith: Once Delivered
Posts: 625


The Truth Shall Be Reviled


WWW
« Reply #16 on: May 19, 2011, 02:13:37 AM »

Jesus became a Christian?  laugh

The joke doesn't say that though.



I have some blistering Jew jokes, if we are going to go that route. Some schmaltzy, some not so . . .

Well there's nowhere safer to tell Jewish jokes than on an Orthodox Christian forum!

EDIT--Just to clarify, that wasn't a shot at the joke in the original post, which I thought was funny/clever.

Was there supposed to be a pic there?

All I see is: 'Image Hosted by Angelfire'...

? ?

†IC XC†
†NI KA†
Logged

Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute...

Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not giving heed to Jewish fables and commandments of men who turn from the truth.
Justin Kissel
Formerly Asteriktos
Protospatharios
****************
Offline Offline

Posts: 29,772



« Reply #17 on: May 19, 2011, 02:17:11 AM »

^Huh, I don't know, I can still see the image. It is/was just a little emoticon that is scratching it's head.
Logged
Tallitot
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Faith: Jewish
Jurisdiction: United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism
Posts: 2,608



WWW
« Reply #18 on: May 19, 2011, 02:18:10 AM »

 Huh
« Last Edit: May 19, 2011, 02:18:47 AM by Tallitot » Logged

Proverbs 22:7
Saint Iaint
This Poster Has Ignored Multiple Requests to Behave Better
High Elder
******
Offline Offline

Faith: Once Delivered
Posts: 625


The Truth Shall Be Reviled


WWW
« Reply #19 on: May 19, 2011, 04:16:52 AM »

I have some blistering Jew jokes, if we are going to go that route. Some schmaltzy, some not so . . .

Well there's nowhere safer to tell Jewish jokes
than on an Orthodox Christian forum!


Well, as far as I'm concerned... the OP is not a 'Jewish' joke (and it's definitely not a "Jew joke").

It's a Christian joke.



Huh

Wassa matta you?

You no like?

†IC XC†
†NI KA†
Logged

Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute...

Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not giving heed to Jewish fables and commandments of men who turn from the truth.
Justin Kissel
Formerly Asteriktos
Protospatharios
****************
Offline Offline

Posts: 29,772



« Reply #20 on: May 19, 2011, 11:03:41 AM »



A Jewish Phenomenon... Jewish ...Israel ... Israel... oy vey... Israel... Israel... rabbi... rabbi... rabbi... Israel... Israel...

Yeah, where did I get the idea that it was a jewish Joke?  Tongue
Logged
Marc1152
Toumarches
************
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Rocor
Posts: 12,769


Probiotic .. Antibiotic


« Reply #21 on: May 19, 2011, 11:07:46 AM »

Saint Iaint, do you ever post about something besides the Jews?

Why - you gonna report me to the ADL?

Why don't you check my post history and see if you really want to know?



Saint Iaint, do you ever post about something besides the Jews?
Zionists.  Wink

Good one...

So true!

What can I say? 9/11 made me very interested in their doings around the world...

The only other topic which has ever interested me so - is Orthodoxy.



To everyone without their feminine undergarments in a bunch that actually laughed (or even just smiled) and offered a kind word...

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed...

I thought it was perfect. Funny and true.

†IC XC†
†NI KA†


What can I say? 9/11 made me very interested in their doings around the world...


Buzzzzt..Penalty buzzer... And to think, you almost got through this cleanly.
Logged

Your idea has been debunked 1000 times already.. Maybe 1001 will be the charm
podkarpatska
Merarches
***********
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: ACROD
Posts: 8,308


SS Cyril and Methodius Church, Mercer, PA


WWW
« Reply #22 on: May 19, 2011, 11:24:30 AM »

Is that a major or a minor in the box for 'conspiracy reference dropping', kind of like delay of game penalty in hockey? eh?... Wink
Logged
Marc1152
Toumarches
************
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Rocor
Posts: 12,769


Probiotic .. Antibiotic


« Reply #23 on: May 19, 2011, 12:49:38 PM »

Is that a major or a minor in the box for 'conspiracy reference dropping', kind of like delay of game penalty in hockey? eh?... Wink

That's what I'm thinking... 
Logged

Your idea has been debunked 1000 times already.. Maybe 1001 will be the charm
Saint Iaint
This Poster Has Ignored Multiple Requests to Behave Better
High Elder
******
Offline Offline

Faith: Once Delivered
Posts: 625


The Truth Shall Be Reviled


WWW
« Reply #24 on: May 19, 2011, 05:40:00 PM »



A Jewish Phenomenon... Jewish ...Israel ... Israel... oy vey... Israel... Israel... rabbi... rabbi... rabbi... Israel... Israel...

Yeah, where did I get the idea that it was a jewish Joke?  Tongue

Good point!

I dunno... I just copied it the way I received it. But I didn't consider it a 'Jewish joke'.

It's not like I wrote it myself. If I had've, it probably would've went a little more like this:

~~~ ~~~ ~~~


A Wondrous Phenemenon

A Pharisaic businessman in Chicago sent his son to occupied Palestine for a year to absorb the culture.

When the son returned, he said, “Papa, I had a great time in Palestine.  By the way after I was robbed in Tel Aviv, I ended up staying with a Palestinian family... and I converted to Orthodox Christianity!”
 
“Oy vey,” said the father.  “What have I done?”  He took his problem to his best friend, Ira.


 
“Ira,” he said, “I sent my son to Palestine to move into one of the hunderds of illegal settlements on Arab land, and he came home an Orthodox Christian!! A Minim!!  What can I do?”

“Funny you should ask,” said Ira.  “I too, sent my son to a settlement , and he also came home an Orthodox Christian.  Perhaps we should go see the rabbi.”



So they did, and they explained their problem to the rabbi.

“Funny you should ask,” said the rabbi.  “I, too, sent my son to live in a settlement , and he also came home an Orthodox Christian. Russian Orthodox no less!! What is happening to our young people?”
 


And so they all prayed, telling the Lord about their sons.

As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the Heavens:  “I thought I told you guys,” said the Voice… “You'll have to talk to My Son.


~~~ ~~~ ~~~





What can I say? 9/11 made me very interested in their doings around the world...


Buzzzzt..Penalty buzzer... And to think, you almost got through this cleanly.

Oops.

Did I just do that?

Well it did.

†IC XC†
†NI KA†
Logged

Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute...

Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not giving heed to Jewish fables and commandments of men who turn from the truth.
deusveritasest
Taxiarches
**********
Offline Offline

Faith: None
Jurisdiction: None
Posts: 7,528



WWW
« Reply #25 on: May 19, 2011, 05:53:12 PM »

As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the Heavens:  “I thought I told you guys,” said the Voice… “You'll have to talk to My Son.

LOL!
Logged

I stopped posting here in August 2011 because of stark disagreement with the policies of the administration and moderating team of the forums. If you desire, feel free to PM me, message me on Facebook (link in profile), or email me: cddombrowski@gmail.com
Tags: Humor  Lighten Up! 
Pages: 1   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.18 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.094 seconds with 54 queries.