Wow, no one has replied yet... well I guess here goes me...
I was in Army ROTC for a duration of time, and had even selected Infantry as my first branch choice, followed by Artillery. I was full aware of the job description, which frankly involved killing! It's a tough job, it is one that gets little recognition, little pay, but lots of hardships and expense, mentally and physically. The training was grueling, but rewarding, and I found that the military lifestyle was somewhat enjoyable to me.
I am not claiming to be someone with a massive amount of experience, as I am young and may appear quite naive about some things to some people. However, I will state that the guys I have met who have done time as Infantry(or any combatant job), whether it be Airborne, Ranger, even Green Beret, have been some of the finest gentlemen I have ever met in my life. They love their country, have good, solid CHRISTIAN values, and are willing to lay down their life for their friends. Not to mention they are in top physical shape, are usually pretty mentally sharp to boot, and they have experienced the Christian lifestyle first hand on the battlefield. How you contend? Well, anytime you are around folks who are DYING you have a tendency to reflect on your own mortality. It isn't a pretty picture, and I'm sure it is tolling. Some of these guys crack, some of them work harder...we all handle it in different ways.
From an Orthodox Christian standpoint? I see no problem whatsoever for a man to join the armed forces, to serve, either combatant or non-combatant roles. We have had lines of Orthodox saints who fought, Alexander Nevsky comes to mind? There is nothing shameful or unOrthodox about serving. If it leads you to commit unChristian things, then yes there is a conflict, but in of itself, how can it be wrong?
For a man who has a wife and a family? Well that is the reason I left ROTC. I want a wife and a family one day. I don't want to be deployed around the world being distanced from them. I cannot fathom the loss I would feel if I was apart from those I love. I think it is the duty of a man, especially one with wife and children, to be with them, to work for them, and to serve them. I think it involves many sacrifices, including that of being in the armed forces, in order to be a good husband and father, and I think in this case, it would be prudent to stay a civilian.
People usually don't respond or read my posts, but if this one is read by one person I'd at least be happy.