I agree with what you're saying about where our focus should be. It only takes 5 seconds to ask a question, though, even a seemingly strange one like about nocturnal emissions. As I said in a previous post, there might be things that we think are perfectly fine, that our priest doesn't. Regarding the miscarriage thing, the following is from the book Sex and Society in the World of the Orthodox Slavs, 900-1700 by Eve Levin...
"Another possible result of the parents' immorality was the loss of a child, whom the parents had shown themselves unworthy to have. A miscarriage had to have been the result of the woman's sinfulness. She was required to confess her sins and do penance. Service books included an extensive set of prayers for purification: 'Lord our God, who was born of the Ever-Virgin Mary, the Holy Mother of God, and who lay as a baby in a cradle: Today, out of your great clemency, have mercy on this your servant N., who has fallen into sin and willful murder, and aborted that which was conceived within her. Forgive her her willful and unwilling sins, and preserve her from all Satan's deceptions. Purify her of obscenity and heal her sickness... for we are born in sin and lawlessness, and we are all defiled before you.'" (p. 67)
"Even a spontaneous miscarriage was sinful, and carried a penance of a year's exclusion from communion." (p. 176)
I apologize for not giving the references that (I assume) are in the original text. I sold the book (twice now, actually), and am pulling these quotes from something I wrote previously on the net.