Here we go again. Play the martyr why don't you?
Maybe it will squeeze the last bit of attention from the OC.net sponge for your own gratification.
Actually why would I bother getting gratification out of this? I already mentioned above that I didn't need to make this thread and served as a perfect escape from any sort of embarassment I generated against myself. As I said this was an apology to members that I have offended, if so. This is not to say "Oh have pity on me, I suffer so much blah blah", while it is true that I suffer greatly this isnt an excercise into magnfying that suffering to gain any pity from anyone. If you read the OP again I said that I don't deserve any forgivness nor any sort of condolscences for my actions. I accept full responsibilites for my actions and I knew there would be people like yourself that would reject the apology.
Like I said I am willing to extend a personal apology to you and willing to take in suggestions to make it up to you.
I don't believe you,
And I never expected anyone too, in fact if I was to expect anything I would say people wouldn't believe me regardless of how sincere and truthful I was being.
and personally don't really care what you did.
Then why do you bother getting into a discussion with me over this?
You played a couple of forums for fools to get attention, we get it.
It wasn't for attention at all. Let me explain my position upon my own spiritual odyssey. When I set out to find out an objective truth in life, I set that as the bar even above God. I seek the Truth above all else, and in doing so I must analyze the arguments for and against certain beliefs. I came across, as I think Quinalt brought up, a dog piling of rhetoric from atheists, agnostics, infidels, etc. I simply could not answer them because I didn't have the answers. And in turn I turn that into doubt and despair. I needed help, and I know that I should have addressed my contentions with the faith much better than I had instead of just copying and pasting and have others argue for me. I know that is very wrong of me and vow to never do it again, of course this means nothing to you since you don't believe it anyway but I'll just say it for the sake of this discussion.
Anyway I want to battle with the critics, I want the Christian faith to be right and the truth, I don't want to be a part of something that is untrue; it must be objective. I know in my heart that Orthodoxy is the truth but my brain loves to question it. It rails on and on with doubt and competiting evidence to the contrary. It's a battle and I wish it was just easy and I had the faith as I did as a child where I didn't have to doubt but this is where I am unfourtantely.
Now that the cat is out of the bag you threaten to leave? Thats just too rich for me pal.
Not at all did I suggest that. In fact I was just making the note that I could have easily of left with minimal embarrasment and to never return again. I didn't have to make this note. I made this note for those that may be interested in reading and shed light on two other accounts that I had and my sincere apology in doing so.
I didn't expect anything in return, as I said nor deserve the forgivness that members are sending to me.
Stop deluding yourself and playing cat and mouse games with all of us. We have better things to do.
I don't understand this, what do you mean by deluding myself? Or playing cat and mouse games? I would be more than happy to hear your suggestions on making amends with you but you need to communicate with me on how I can do that.