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Author Topic: I'm a liar.  (Read 3605 times) Average Rating: 0
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« on: April 15, 2011, 08:49:01 AM »

You may or may not recall a recent thread that Dnarmist made regarding his deconversion from Christianity into atheism, I must come clean regarding this, and not just because I was caught in the act, but because I am tired of living a lie.

I am TtC and Dnarmist, however all the posts TtC made were plagarized from various sources. Dnarmist's new thread was also plagarized.

As I said in another forum from which I derived material under the Dnarmist pseudonym, I have absolutely no excuse for the behavior I have exhibited in this thread or on the other forum. I understand and accept any punishment that will come my way regarding this incident. I would like to explain my position on why I did these actions, but I expect no return in empathy or pity for obviously I do not deserve such, and no matter how sincere or honest I come about in this post I know it will be disregarded for my own credibility has been shot, again completely understandable.

Last year I fell into a deep depression regarding the acrinomous split from my ex-fiancee, which in turn caused me to become more introspective and dig deeper into what I believed in; who am I, where am I going and what about the existence of God? I tried to be as objective in my findings as I could, so growing up in an evangelical Christian household I wanted to know how the Bible was formed and why were there those that rejected the claims made in it. I tried as best as I could to read and watch as many atheist refutations of the Bible, God, Christ, religion etc. My faith in the Bible was obliterated, for example coming to the realization that it wasn't really God's Word from my fundamentalist understanding of the book. Then reading some information that Christ himself didn't exist was the final nail in the coffin that almost wrecked my life. No God, no Christ, no eternity, no heaven, no real purpose in life, death is all I had to look forward to? I just couldn't accept that conclusion. Deep in my heart I wanted the Christian faith to be true, in fact I came to the conclusion it may it sounded too good to be true. But since I held onto that belief that I wanted it to be true, it opened up more evidence and things I didn't see before. Once I got a little bit more confident with God, I'd get skeptical again, it was a constant battle with skepticism. I tried debating with atheists on message boards but their well reasoned arguments were too good for my lack of intellect, so I seeked for people to help refute the claims atheists were making. The more I saw this back and forth, between atheists and Christians, the more my eyes opened up to the Christian worldview and how unteneable atheism is. In fact the majority of atheists I dealt with weren't living exactly true to their worldview, but that's a subject I don't want to discuss. However just because I opened myself up to Christianity that's not to say I still had doubts, when a few posters here were giving better reasonable arguments than I had ever seen, I fell once again into doubt about the existence of God. I needed help for my little faith, so I reached out to some Christians here to see how they would refute certain claims here.

Regarding my exposure to Orthodoxy, I know it's the truth but I don't deserve it's beauty and am ot worthy. I'm a liar and have duped so many wonderful people on this forum, I feel it is unforgivable for my actions that I have done. No matter how much I repent for it, I don't think it's worthy to be forgiven.

I made a few friends here that helped my faith alot, but those friendships will probably end because of this.

My conclusion to this is I am very sorry for using people for my own purposes, it was totally wrong and I don't know what I could do to make up for it, I'd ask for forgiveness but I don't deserve it.
 
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« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2011, 09:09:19 AM »

I think I can understand where you're coming from, due to the similar experiences I've also gone through. But please don't despair. Whatever happens, make the best of it. I think I've done far worse than what you have done, albeit in a different way, but I try to stay positive and not let my past mistakes ruin what good things might come about in the future. Forgiveness is through God's grace, and it is through grace that good things will come to us in the future. It's our role to simply cooperate as best we can, I think. I find myself being a skeptic even in the midst of trying to be a Christian sometimes... but I keep trying to work through it. I think you can work through your issues as well. Just keep going...  Smiley
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« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2011, 09:12:16 AM »

None of us are worthy of God's mercy. That is what makes His love so profound.

Lent is the season of repentance and forgiveness.

As God forgives, I forgive. Forgive me, a sinner.
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« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2011, 09:50:24 AM »

I know that I haven't been here that long, but I just wanted to post a note on this.


While I don't understand the actions necessarily, I do understand the fear and desperation that drives them. As someone who drafts research and intelligence and someone who interacts with academia pretty often, I understand the constant battle of skepticism. I envy those who believe in God almost 100% of the time, because while some marvel at my faith, they aren't aware of those recurrent dark moments when I don't even believe that God exists. Sometimes I wake up gasping, wondering, "What is this life about if He isn't real? I need to have faith in something, and I have no faith in humanity."

However, if there's one thing that keeps me coming back, it's Jesus Christ. For me, it's either Christ or there is no other faith. For some reason, his love and forgiveness wipes out my doubt...that is, until I begin to struggle again. But as of right now, that is enough to keep my eyes locked on Him.


So, I do understand that. Yes, it was deceitful to use the Internet for your own gain while perhaps distressing others in the process, but it is good that you have come clean.

No, none of us are worthy of forgiveness. We just don't post our dirty laundry (well, some of us!) on Internet forums. We have done and will likely do much worse. Lord have mercy on us. We are so unworthy yet we can look forward to eternal life, thanks to Him.
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« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2011, 10:04:23 AM »

Quote
...don't deserve it's beauty and am not worthy.

Who is worthy? None of us, no, not one. None of us deserve the love and mercy that God lavishes on us.
Holy Week is next week. I encourage you to attend as many of the services as you can, and open your heart to Him.

Prayers in Time of Need
Almighty God, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, come to my help and deliver me from this difficulty that besets me. I believe Lord, that all trials of life are under Your care and that all things work for the good of those who love You. Take away from me fear, anxiety and distress. Help me to face and endure my difficulty with faith, courage and wisdom. Grant that this trial may bring me closer to You for You are my rock and refuge, my comfort and hope, my delight and joy. I trust in Your love and compassion. Blessed is Your name, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, now and forever. Amen.

O God, our help in time of need, Who are just and merciful, and Who inclines to the supplications of His people. Look down upon me and have mercy on me and deliver me from the trouble that now besets me. Deal with us not according to our iniquities, but according to Your manifold mercies, for we are the works of Your hands, and You know our weaknesses. I pray to you to grant me Your divine helping grace, and endow me with patience and strength to endure my hardships with complete submission to Your Will. Only You know our misery and sufferings, and to You, our only hope and refuge, I flee for relief and comfort, trusting in Your infinite love and compassion, that in due time, when You know best, You will deliver me from this trouble, and turn my distress into comfort. We then shall rejoice in Your mercy, and exalt and praise Your Holy Name, O Father, Son and Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the ages of ages. Amen

Prayer Against Demonic Influence
Almighty God, Who delivered Your people from the bondage of the adversary, and through Your Son cast down Satan like lightning, deliver me also from every influence of unclean spirits. Command Satan to depart far from me by the power of Your only begotten Son. Rescue me from demonic imaginings and darkness. Fill me with the light of the Holy Spirit that I may be guarded against all snares of crafty demons. Grant that an angel will always go before me and lead me to the path of righteousness all the days of my life, to the honor of Your glorious Name, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, now and forever. Amen.

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« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2011, 10:10:32 AM »

Do not give in to dejection, the Lord calls us daily to repentance as a part of living and healing. Everyday I awake I am no more worthy than you despite how you feel about yourself but I call upon Him and am forgiven. This actually empowers us to try to do some small good in the world in the hope that something we do may be helping our salvation and our neighbor on any possible level. Even if you are dropping spare change into an alms box and giving thanks and prayer as you go.
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« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2011, 10:16:53 AM »

I am so happy that things are improving for you. I recall some calling you a troll and wanting you banned previously and today you join us again as a christian brother. Glory to God and may all of us have our faith strengthened by you.

Love conquers all
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« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2011, 10:21:49 AM »

Somebody on the Internet was pretending to be someone they're not, multiple times, and even at times arguing with themselves?!  Such treachery is unknown in the entire annals of the World Wide Web!  Al Gore certainly did not invent the intertubes for such behavior as this!

My faith in humanity is shattered!  And it's all your fault, Aposphet!

Seriously, all is forgiven.  I am afraid at the Great Forum Get-Together there might be some reprisals (you'd go a long way if you supply the cricket bat for your beat down, that's the hardest item to find here.  We've already got the hockey mask and latex gloves, and I believe orthonorm has volunteered to supervise the line and sell tickets), but I shouldn't worry about that, as we're still waiting for the mods to come to unanimous agreement on the seating arrangements (that and the fact that you can expect 90% of the forum to show up 13 days after the posted date).

Even more seriously, you done a bad thing, and don't ever do it again.  But of course you're forgiven.  Just don't ever do it again. police
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« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2011, 10:31:24 AM »

I actually thought you were mocking TTC , what with your similar avatars Tongue

People have done a lot worse than sock puppeteering. For whatever it's worth from me, all is forgiven. Forgive me any insult I delivered to those accounts. 
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« Reply #9 on: April 15, 2011, 10:48:54 AM »

 I can have multiple duplicate accounts and not get banned? I might just try that...
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« Reply #10 on: April 15, 2011, 11:03:04 AM »

I can have multiple duplicate accounts and not get banned? I might just try that...

No you can't. Two duplicate accounts of Aposphet are already banned.
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« Reply #11 on: April 15, 2011, 11:20:59 AM »

As God forgives, I forgive. Forgive me, a sinner.

As far as the Orthodox Church goes. . .if He does not receive you, you'll know. . . 'cause no matter what you do, the doors will be shut to you. Ask St. Mary of Egypt.  I've been in that place so many times. . .where I was truly not worthy. . .and quite deluded that I was. . .and no matter what I did, I could not go to church.  The doors were closed to me.  But in the same sense, He loves you beyond anything you can imagine, and as He, through the Holy Theotokos guided St. Mary to true repentance, and as He broke my delusion and guided me back to true repentance. . .(points at your post. . .yeah, that. . . )  so will He do (is doing) for you.

Thank God for you.  Amen.  A beautiful work of His hands.  Amen.  The angels rejoice at repentance.  I'm rejoicing now. (NOT that I'm an angel or anything. . .lol)  Now. . .to put it as He put it so many times . . .go and sin no more.

On a side note of one who has been there and done that. . . the loss of someone incredibly important in someone's life tends to throw them into a period of insanity.  I went quite insane while battling with the denial (the first step of grieving) after Joe's death. . .and trust you me, there was a couple of YEARS where I really obliterated any sense of the word 'holiness' in my life.  Chopped it to pieces, I did. . .and then spit on it. . .by my actions.  **crosses self** May the Lord have mercy on us all.  We are, after all. . .so very human. 

As much as I hate to even think of this time. . . it serves as a gift to humble me.  It really hurts that I would do such things before the plain view of my God. . . and every time I think of it, it reminds me that I am such a sinner and capable of the worst of things.  Thank goodness for His mercy.  Thank goodness.   

That's all I'm sayin'. 

I continue to pray for you. 

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« Reply #12 on: April 15, 2011, 11:40:25 AM »

it was a constant battle with skepticism.

Replace "skepticism" with any and every fault and you have the Christian life.

Quote
Regarding my exposure to Orthodoxy, I know it's the truth but I don't deserve it's beauty and am ot worthy.

That is why salvation is called a gift.

Quote
I'm a liar and have duped so many wonderful people on this forum,

My avatar isn't even my patron saint.

Quote
I feel it is unforgivable for my actions that I have done.


No such thing.

Quote
No matter how much I repent for it, I don't think it's worthy to be forgiven.

I heard someone say that we were forgiven on the cross, and that our repentance is our participation in that forgiveness.

The blood that has redeemed us all has already been spilled on a cross 2,000 years ago. The only thing that is unforgivable is to refuse the gift of life that Christ has already died for in order to give us.

Quote
My conclusion to this is I am very sorry for using people for my own purposes, it was totally wrong and I don't know what I could do to make up for it,

Go and sin no more, or at least try.

Even Christ fell while carrying His cross, and then He got back up. I'm not saying this was sinful on His part, only that he took on the complete depths of our weakness to show us how we can be victorious in Him.

Quote
I'd ask for forgiveness but I don't deserve it.

Already given, so just accept it.

Maybe I should be the one asking your forgiveness, I'm not sure just how Christian I was when dealing with your alter egos.
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« Reply #13 on: April 15, 2011, 12:08:50 PM »

"I'm a liar and have duped so many wonderful people on this forum, I feel it is unforgivable for my actions that I have done. No matter how much I repent for it, I don't think it's worthy to be forgiven."

Don't give yourself airs; we're all sinners here. You really have to have a lot of talent to be unforgivable--and you ain't got it. Put down the flagrum. From now on, just try to be a good Christian, okay?  Smiley
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« Reply #14 on: April 15, 2011, 01:30:55 PM »

A) I have enjoyed much of your commentary on this forum under your not-fake-fake-name.
B) I echo the previous poster; you don't get to win the sinner prize. I'm terrified of making my first confession in the Orthodox Church tomorrow: When I first discovered Orthodoxy as a Catholic my world was shook so hard that I began to doubt, albeit briefly, just about everything. I came back into belief, and then into Orthodoxy, to be fulfilled entirely this weekend, but in that time of darkness, boy, did I regress, and do some stuff that was much worse than fake posting. I'm certain that I'm not alone in this.

Thank you for your being so candid. It helps remind us all what this is all about, in some way.
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« Reply #15 on: April 15, 2011, 01:33:07 PM »

There are times that I feel that the person I present myself to be online is artificial and self-censored. In other words, less than the complete me, and therefore a mask. If not guilty by outright commission of the deed, I am guilty of deceit whether or not intended.

"forgive me of my transgressions both voluntary and involuntary, of word and of deed, of knowledge and of ignorance"

Were it not for my hope in Christ, I would be in despair.
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« Reply #16 on: April 15, 2011, 01:38:45 PM »


No worries, Aposphet!

As others have said so eloquently, you are not the only sinner on this board.  We all have things to apologize and ask forgiveness for.

I'm sorry you were having such a hard "journey", but, I hope you realize the truth of Orthodoxy, and plan to stay for a while.

What happened in the past, is just that - in the past.  Nobody here is condemning you.

May we all learn from our mistakes and strive not to repeat them.  Don't torture yourself too much...it's not good for you.  Move on.

I hope you enjoyed the book!  Crack the cover and actually read it.  It's rather enlightening.

Welcome back.

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« Reply #17 on: April 15, 2011, 01:58:59 PM »

God bless you, and I hope you will learn and grow from your mistakes like I have (hopefully!) in mine.

Progress, not necessarily perfection.
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« Reply #18 on: April 15, 2011, 02:22:21 PM »

As St. Paul said "I am first among sinners", if God cannot forgive you this one little thing, then he will never forgive me my countless sins.

A priest once told me that we cannot grow in our spiritual life without struggle. Pray not that God will take the struggle from you - he will if you ask - but pray that he will give you the strength to fight through those struggles and come closer to him.

For my part I cannot do anything but offer forgiveness.
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« Reply #19 on: April 15, 2011, 02:50:56 PM »

From Wikipedia:

Quote
Attention seeking

Enjoying the attention of others is quite socially acceptable. In some instances, however, the need for attention can lead to difficulties. The term attention seeking (or attention-seeking) is generally reserved for such situations where excessive and "inappropriate attention seeking" is seen.[1]



The following styles of attention seeking have been identified:[2]

Extroverted positive overt style – associated with narcissism, bragging and boasting. May also include shocking exhibitionist behavior such as streaking.
Extroverted positive subdued style – similar but more subtle such as wearing designer clothes, wearing sexy clothes or dominating the conversation.
Extroverted negative overt style – to gain pity and reassurance.
Extroverted negative subdued style – making a negative statement to the world by, for example, dressing in an unusual style.
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« Reply #20 on: April 15, 2011, 03:38:27 PM »

From the advertised "Master of False Humility"...  Interesting analysis.  <facepalm>

From Wikipedia:

Quote
Attention seeking

Enjoying the attention of others is quite socially acceptable. In some instances, however, the need for attention can lead to difficulties. The term attention seeking (or attention-seeking) is generally reserved for such situations where excessive and "inappropriate attention seeking" is seen.[1]



The following styles of attention seeking have been identified:[2]

Extroverted positive overt style – associated with narcissism, bragging and boasting. May also include shocking exhibitionist behavior such as streaking.
Extroverted positive subdued style – similar but more subtle such as wearing designer clothes, wearing sexy clothes or dominating the conversation.
Extroverted negative overt style – to gain pity and reassurance.
Extroverted negative subdued style – making a negative statement to the world by, for example, dressing in an unusual style.

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« Reply #21 on: April 15, 2011, 03:39:38 PM »

side note - jim c brooklyn, please keep us posted, i am excited for you!  Smiley
to aposphet,
hi, i would like to be a little bit touch with you (i am a little bit tough with people and very tough on myself), but first i want to say i don't hate you.
now i want to suggest that if you have had problems with lying, then maybe (just ask yourself, don't tell us) you have had problems in face to face life as well.
i would like to suggest that you also own up to anyone you may have lied to who knows you personally and come clean with them.
this is harder than doing it on line, but the rewards of such sincere repentance are life-long.
so please consider this for the sake of your spiritual life.

i know in my life that sometimes i have had the chance to 'get away with' mistakes and not get caught. but it was only when i told the truth about my actions (yes it was me who accidently lost your mail etc.) that i was sincere about my repentance and then got closer to our wonderful Lord. repentance means turning away, means hardship and a struggle.

may God give your strength to live close to Him and to flee from all evil.
and please pray for me too, a sinner.
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« Reply #22 on: April 15, 2011, 05:14:29 PM »

From the advertised "Master of False Humility"...  Interesting analysis.  <facepalm>
I still stand by what I've posted. His apology is just a copy paste job from the somethingawful forum. He has used this forum, and abused it. Now he wants even more attention. Attention seeking behavior indeed. And, just for the record, I will always be the master of FALSE humility!  Grin
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« Reply #23 on: April 15, 2011, 05:16:01 PM »

From the advertised "Master of False Humility"...  Interesting analysis.  <facepalm>
I still stand by what I've posted. His apology is just a copy paste job from the somethingawful forum. He has used this forum, and abused it. Now he wants even more attention. Attention seeking behavior indeed. And, just for the record, I will always be the master of FALSE humility!  Grin
Is he being received positively over there, or are they as confused as we are?

I must say that this troll job would not be an amusing thing to watch from a third-person perspective, IMO; even if one were interested in that sort of thing.
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« Reply #24 on: April 15, 2011, 05:19:22 PM »

Quote
Is he being received positively over there, or are they as confused as we are?
They seem to pity him, if that counts. Just more copy and paste from Alexander Nevermind, I mean, Dnarmist, I mean TryingtoConvert, I mean Aposphet...
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« Reply #25 on: April 15, 2011, 05:23:33 PM »

"Forgiving all in the Resurrection..."

You aren't the first person to make big mistakes. Same here. Considering what you've been through, I would hope you can get some help. At least you have realized you have this issue, so hopefully you will be able to work through it.

Good luck.
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« Reply #26 on: April 15, 2011, 05:27:19 PM »

From the advertised "Master of False Humility"...  Interesting analysis.  <facepalm>
I still stand by what I've posted. His apology is just a copy paste job from the somethingawful forum. He has used this forum, and abused it. Now he wants even more attention. Attention seeking behavior indeed. And, just for the record, I will always be the master of FALSE humility!  Grin
Regardless of his motives, doesn't he have the right to copy and paste his reply for another forum? I sure as heck wouldn't want to re-write such a long reply for a different board. I'm just saying, I don't think that alone proves that someone's a narcissist.
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« Reply #27 on: April 15, 2011, 05:27:41 PM »

It is sad that you feel that you need to find attention via the internet like this. I hope that you can find someone offline to talk to about your doubts. You won't find all the answers online or in books. Faith has more substance than can be covered with the written word alone. In the spirit of Lent, I forgive you. But I really hope that you have apologized in a heartfelt manner to the admin of this board. You violated their site and they are the ones that you need to seek forgiveness from. You attempted to soil their home, not mine.
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« Reply #28 on: April 15, 2011, 05:40:31 PM »

I think he probably felt like he had to say something, and I think the mods/admins probably expected him to say something.
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« Reply #29 on: April 15, 2011, 05:54:53 PM »

Maybe when making a thread like this you should do it more like Henry Rollins... that way people wouldn't complain, they'd just be confused   Grin police
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« Reply #30 on: April 15, 2011, 06:03:19 PM »

Aposphet continued posting under puppet accounts after making this apology, so I assume it was copypasted. Perhaps he's legitimately sorry but is somehow addicted to this kind of attention.
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« Reply #31 on: April 15, 2011, 06:19:55 PM »


Really?  Where?  I believe the other accounts have been disabled.
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« Reply #32 on: April 15, 2011, 06:29:30 PM »

The two other accounts on here (other than his OP) haven't seen activity for a couple days.
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« Reply #33 on: April 15, 2011, 06:31:49 PM »

This one:

"stickman"

http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,32526.0.html

was re-activated after his apology.

Apology: Today at 08:49:01 AM

Sock Puppet's last post: Today at 11:17:58 AM
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« Reply #34 on: April 15, 2011, 06:33:48 PM »

I think he probably felt like he had to say something, and I think the mods/admins probably expected him to say something.

He wanted to do it sans expectations, and we let it post after banning the sock puppets.
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« Reply #35 on: April 15, 2011, 06:35:33 PM »

This one:

"stickman"

http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,32526.0.html

was re-activated after his apology.

Stick man is a different user, and the account wasn't re-activated, just sock puppetted with a nearly identical name.
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« Reply #36 on: April 15, 2011, 06:36:05 PM »

I thought stickman was a different troll with multiple accounts?
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« Reply #37 on: April 15, 2011, 06:37:17 PM »

He posted his apology at 8:49am this morning.  

A couple hours later at 11:47am, it appears he posted this under the Stick-man account:

"I believe that science and critical study of Bible texts, extrabiblical Jewish texts and history prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the Abrahamic religions (judaism, Christianity and Islam) are mythological falsehood."

I would be inclined to give his apology the benefit of the doubt, but it seems he might be still playing games.

Ok, posted the above as Fr. George was apologizing.  If he isn't stick-man, I apologize!
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« Reply #38 on: April 15, 2011, 06:40:32 PM »

I thought stickman was a different troll with multiple accounts?


Indeed.
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« Reply #39 on: April 15, 2011, 06:43:22 PM »

I thought stickman was a different troll with multiple accounts?


Indeed.
My mistake. I wonder how he was notified about the thread.
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« Reply #40 on: April 15, 2011, 06:51:41 PM »

It isn't out of the realm of possibility that stickman and the OP are acquaintances, but I wouldn't jump to conclusions at this point. Whether the OP and stickman knew each other or now, it doesn't matter much. I hope the OP can find someone to talk to in person about his struggles, the internet isn't the best place to work out any doubts one may have. The internet is a good place to start for some people, but it certainly can't be the last step.
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« Reply #41 on: April 15, 2011, 07:01:15 PM »

Standing up to a never-ending sea of people arguing for the same position in different ways is a rather un-winnable scenario as far as rhetoric goes, and would lead anyone (except those St. Athanasius types) into despair. Aposphet, if you're listening, stop posting about religion on Somethingawful forums if you have a genuine interest in faith.
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« Reply #42 on: April 15, 2011, 07:19:09 PM »

I think he probably felt like he had to say something, and I think the mods/admins probably expected him to say something.

He wanted to do it sans expectations, and we let it post after banning the sock puppets.

Ahh, ok Smiley
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« Reply #43 on: April 15, 2011, 10:00:28 PM »

*YAWN*

I remember back in the day when trolls were welcome clever people to keep newsgroups on their toes. The word has been watered down to the least common of denominators.

I used troll pretty hard. I knew of one troll who probably pulled the biggest job on a group once. Involved a faked death after years of posting and appearing later at a meet-up. Everyone since having a great sense of humor and old to the internet game gave nothing but respect to the guy.

GiC could troll if he wanted to, God knows he has enough brain cells and expertise to probably sock puppet at least five believable experts on this forum.

What happened here is what was pointed out above: attention seeking behavior, as is this mea culpa. No troll worth his salt would get caught having sock puppets found out through the most lazy of technical forensics. Proxy much?

Wish the guy were a troll. They are nice to have. Who knows who is what on the intertubez . . .

Copying and pasting the most sophomoric bits of text is just pure fail.

OP: We are all liars. That is were the truth begins. Spare the bio and just post decent stuff whether in content or style or both.

The half-life of anything on the internets is about 2.3 seconds.

In the end, no one probably cares much or is able to since you have fabricated enough about yourself.

So just relax, start posting or not.

If your behavior and bio are "true" get some professional help.

If true, you suffer the most for it. For nearly everyone else it is NBD.

In truth and love, best of luck.



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« Reply #44 on: April 15, 2011, 10:41:34 PM »

I think he probably felt like he had to say something, and I think the mods/admins probably expected him to say something.

Around the stupidly late age of 32 some guy grabbed me forcibly by the arm and said:

Here is how you apologize:

You say you are sorry for specifically what you did. No back story or excuses.

You let the other person tell you what they think about what you did.

You ask them how to make it up to them.

You listen.

Then you do what they asked, if it is not completely unreasonable.

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For some reason this alluded me for 32 years. And still rarely do it properly.
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« Reply #45 on: April 15, 2011, 11:04:22 PM »

Quote
What happened here is what was pointed out above: attention seeking behavior, as is this mea culpa. No troll worth his salt would get caught having sock puppets found out through the most lazy of technical forensics. Proxy much?
Exactly. And remember, he was the one who posted the entire PM from stick-man as well. Attention seeking behavior plain and simple. And IMHO, not an apology at all. Just more excuses, and another "in" for more attention. I think of all the converts we could have helped, yet we wasted our time with his plagiarized threads. Sad.
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« Reply #46 on: April 15, 2011, 11:20:45 PM »


Okay...he hasn't killed anyone (that we know of)...how about cutting his some slack?

You don't know what situation he is in, nor what led him to do what he did.

He's admitted it and apologized.

He could have simply quit the forum with no explanation, but, he tried to explain and make amends.

I, for one, hold no grudge, and throw no stones at him.

I pray he gets help if he needs it....and that he takes this as a life lesson and grows from the experience.

I know that I've done stupid things in my life...who am I to judge another, who is trying to make amends? 

For all you know, he may actually be genuinely sorry.  I hope so.

I suggest, unless he proves to not be repentant and continues to mislead, that we offer him support and prayers....not condemnation.
Well...even if he continues to mislead...we should still pray and try to help.

I wish to believe he is being genuine about his remorse.  Only time will tell.


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« Reply #47 on: April 15, 2011, 11:34:41 PM »

Does it really matter if he means it though? The Christian faith teaches us that we need to forgive, and I don't believe forgiveness requires waiting until someone begs for it on their hands and knees.

There is the story of St. Moses the Black, who was called to a meeting where the monks were to figure out how to punish a monk. At first he refused, but finally they convinced him to go. He got up from his cell, took a leaky jar filled with water with him, and slowly made his way to the meeting. When he arrived the other fathers asked him what he was doing, to which he replied "My sins run out behind me, and I do not see them, and today I am coming to judge the errors of another." (faithfully plagerized from "Sayings of the Desert Fathers" from Cistercian Publications).

The bottom line is to remember that before God we are no less guilty than the one who comes before us, whether he is remorseful or not. If he is not than more any other scenario we must react in the manner which Christ taught us, that we might show the love which God taught us to hold for his creation (this does not mean we should pretend the poster never did anything of the sort and should now approach everything without thinking, that's stupidity, nor does it mean the mods/admins should not take action should they deem it necessary, the rules are there for a reason).
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« Reply #48 on: April 15, 2011, 11:56:18 PM »

What needs to be forgiven? Some folks just calling a spade a spade, which is good psychologicals.

I have no idea what people are forgiving him for. And it ain't like spurious threads don't have benefit for others. See "great" works of fiction for examples of insight into the human psyche via lies.

Note in my post: the only person if he is being honest he is hurting is himself. At most he broke some house rules.

As far as I can see, no harm, no foul except for the admins here. The desire to have "committed some great sin" is just attention getting and not based in fact.

NBD. Internets since 1988.


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« Reply #49 on: April 16, 2011, 12:45:09 AM »

I appreciate the reception for my apology, I don't deserve it but before

Quote
Is he being received positively over there, or are they as confused as we are?
They seem to pity him, if that counts. Just more copy and paste from Alexander Nevermind, I mean, Dnarmist, I mean TryingtoConvert, I mean Aposphet...
So here's the thing, my apology was interchangable between both sites. That's why I posted both at the same time, but you didn't see this until now since the moderators were deliberating on the course of action against me.

If you want a personal apology I would be happy to provide one for you, as I said my actions regardless have how much I invest in a formal apology would not cover the amount of damage and distrust I have instilled in the members of this board.

In actuality I was banned before my post could be made, but I reached out to FrChris and FrAnastasios to post this thread so people can know the truth.

I honestly don't know how much of a sorry I can give on this board for my actions and I am not sure what you expect of me. I am open to your suggestions, thank you.
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« Reply #50 on: April 16, 2011, 12:45:09 AM »

Aposphet continued posting under puppet accounts after making this apology, so I assume it was copypasted. Perhaps he's legitimately sorry but is somehow addicted to this kind of attention.
Wait I don't understand how would that be possible? Both the other acccounts cannot have any access to post.
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« Reply #51 on: April 16, 2011, 12:45:09 AM »

I have no affilation nor acquaintices with stickman. It is an unsual "coincedence" he decided to post now in that TtC exposure thread, but I have absolutley no involvment with stickman.
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« Reply #52 on: April 16, 2011, 12:45:09 AM »

To suggest that my rationale or motive was merely an attention seeking pursuit is quite simply falacious. First of all there would be no reason for me to post this message because obviously it is embarassing being ousted (not my reason for posting the OP, get to that in a second..) and considering that my IP ban went under the radar could have easily served as a "Phew!" moment for me on this board. There would be no logical reason to even create a thread such as this, I could have easily put it under the carpet and moved on.

However I genuinely cared to express my apologies to members on this board for my abusive behavior. In fact I was worried this thread would never be posted, so I searched out particular members that I may have done harm to and apologized using my OP. This would have sufficed however I was not sure if I included everyone, so that's why I posted it.

I didn't expect anything in return nor do I deserve any sort of forgivness. I'm not sure how genuine I can make this sound, even when my own trust has been destroyed, but I'll say what needs to be said. The moderators felt that it was appropriate to post this topic, if they felt this an attention seeking endeavor, it would not have been approved.

To call me out on atthention seeking behavior, copy pasta sophmoric bits as pure fail, to suggest no one cares, and finally then to have the audacity to say "in truth and love good luck" really makes me question your motives and your contribution to this thread. Deride me as much as you like, but don't give false apathetic care solaces. I'd elaborate more on my own personal suffering, but why should I bother if it is your intention already to dismiss anything I may honestly say about my personal life and my own struggles. But satisfy your ego however you like, I wish to conduct no more further discussions with you.
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« Reply #53 on: April 16, 2011, 01:07:13 AM »

Quote
To call me out on atthention seeking behavior, copy pasta sophmoric bits as pure fail, to suggest no one cares, and finally then to have the audacity to say "in truth and love good luck" really makes me question your motives and your contribution to this thread. Deride me as much as you like, but don't give false apathetic care solaces. I'd elaborate more on my own personal suffering, but why should I bother if it is your intention already to dismiss anything I may honestly say about my personal life and my own struggles. But satisfy your ego however you like, I wish to conduct no more further discussions with you.
Here we go again. Play the martyr why don't you? Maybe it will squeeze the last bit of attention from the OC.net sponge for your own gratification. I don't believe you, and personally don't really care what you did. As orthonorm pointed out, it's meaningless. You played a couple of forums for fools to get attention, we get it. Now that the cat is out of the bag you threaten to leave? Thats just too rich for me pal. You need to speak with your priest and heal. Stop deluding yourself and playing cat and mouse games with all of us. We have better things to do.
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« Reply #54 on: April 16, 2011, 02:38:36 AM »

I forgive you brother, even though you did nothing to offend me. My own sins are far worse than anything you have done here. Please don't despair of the mercy of God. The Orthodox Faith is not for those who are already holy, but for sinners who desire to be holy. Our Lord came to heal the sick, not those who are well. I do hope you will become a catechumen soon, and persevere in becoming baptized in Christ and His Church. PM or email me anytime you wish to talk. I remain your brother always.

Selam,
Gebre Menfes Kidus
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« Reply #55 on: April 16, 2011, 10:57:41 AM »

Quote
To call me out on atthention seeking behavior, copy pasta sophmoric bits as pure fail, to suggest no one cares, and finally then to have the audacity to say "in truth and love good luck" really makes me question your motives and your contribution to this thread. Deride me as much as you like, but don't give false apathetic care solaces. I'd elaborate more on my own personal suffering, but why should I bother if it is your intention already to dismiss anything I may honestly say about my personal life and my own struggles. But satisfy your ego however you like, I wish to conduct no more further discussions with you.
Here we go again. Play the martyr why don't you? Maybe it will squeeze the last bit of attention from the OC.net sponge for your own gratification. I don't believe you, and personally don't really care what you did. As orthonorm pointed out, it's meaningless. You played a couple of forums for fools to get attention, we get it. Now that the cat is out of the bag you threaten to leave? Thats just too rich for me pal. You need to speak with your priest and heal. Stop deluding yourself and playing cat and mouse games with all of us. We have better things to do.

PFN, you speak out of ignorance concerning attention seeking behavior and martyr game playing.  Lists on the internet are well and fine - yes, you can probably at least protect yourself from someone who has sociopathic tendencies. . .but I bet you that all of us. . .every single one of us can fall into that list in some degree or even more of a degree in one or another part of our lives.  You may or may not be a clinician, psychologist or psychiatrist, but my guess is that you are not, as you would not hold such a stance of misunderstanding as you do if you were.  These are your issues. . . your buttons. . .your need for control. . . at this point, not his.

What ever happens with Aposphet is up to the Moderators . . . let that be as it is.  Have mercy and judge rightly. . .and do onto others as you would have them do unto you.  Maybe starting there is a good thing.  Love covers a multitude of sins - He hung on the cross covering our multitude of sins. . .let it not be in vain.  There is a Judge that is much more apt to do this thing right than you or I will ever be able.  we are blind, deaf and dumb.  We weren't there when Aposphet was made, we have no clue how he is put together or for what intent His heart had for Aposphet. . .but I do know that the intent was out of pure love. . . not disgust. . .not taking the easy stance of shaming. . .pure love. 

May you receive the same mercy others have decided to give to Aposphet when you need it. You will need it.  We all do.

Please, for your sake know that if you live by the sword, you will die by the sword.  Let the words of your mouth be seasoned with grace instead of a sharp edge.


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« Reply #56 on: April 16, 2011, 05:37:43 PM »

Since God Forgives ,I forgive, In What Ever You Did .......But
One Must Be Wise As  A Serpent, And Gentle As A Dove............ police
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« Reply #57 on: April 16, 2011, 06:57:40 PM »

Here we go again. Play the martyr why don't you?
How so?

Quote
Maybe it will squeeze the last bit of attention from the OC.net sponge for your own gratification.
Actually why would I bother getting gratification out of this? I already mentioned above that I didn't need to make this thread and served as a perfect escape from any sort of embarassment I generated against myself. As I said this was an apology to members that I have offended, if so. This is not to say "Oh have pity on me, I suffer so much blah blah", while it is true that I suffer greatly this isnt an excercise into magnfying that suffering to gain any pity from anyone. If you read the OP again I said that I don't deserve any forgivness nor any sort of condolscences for my actions. I accept full responsibilites for my actions and I knew there would be people like yourself that would reject the apology.

Like I said I am willing to extend a personal apology to you and willing to take in suggestions to make it up to you.

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I don't believe you,
And I never expected anyone too, in fact if I was to expect anything I would say people wouldn't believe me regardless of how sincere and truthful I was being.

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and personally don't really care what you did.
Then why do you bother getting into a discussion with me over this?

 
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You played a couple of forums for fools to get attention, we get it.
It wasn't for attention at all. Let me explain my position upon my own spiritual odyssey. When I set out to find out an objective truth in life, I set that as the bar even above God. I seek the Truth above all else, and in doing so I must analyze the arguments for and against certain beliefs. I came across, as I think Quinalt brought up, a dog piling of rhetoric from atheists, agnostics, infidels, etc. I simply could not answer them because I didn't have the answers. And in turn I turn that into doubt and despair. I needed help, and I know that I should have addressed my contentions with the faith much better than I had instead of just copying and pasting and have others argue for me. I know that is very wrong of me and vow to never do it again, of course this means nothing to you since you don't believe it anyway but I'll just say it for the sake of this discussion.

Anyway I want to battle with the critics, I want the Christian faith to be right and the truth, I don't want to be a part of something that is untrue; it must be objective. I know in my heart that Orthodoxy is the truth but my brain loves to question it. It rails on and on with doubt and competiting evidence to the contrary. It's a battle and I wish it was just easy and I had the faith as I did as a child where I didn't have to doubt but this is where I am unfourtantely.

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Now that the cat is out of the bag you threaten to leave? Thats just too rich for me pal.
Not at all did I suggest that. In fact I was just making the note that I could have easily of left with minimal embarrasment and to never return again. I didn't have to make this note. I made this note for those that may be interested in reading and shed light on two other accounts that I had and my sincere apology in doing so.

I didn't expect anything in return, as I said nor deserve the forgivness that members are sending to me.

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Stop deluding yourself and playing cat and mouse games with all of us. We have better things to do.
I don't understand this, what do you mean by deluding myself? Or playing cat and mouse games? I would be more than happy to hear your suggestions on making amends with you but you need to communicate with me on how I can do that.
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« Reply #58 on: April 16, 2011, 07:40:58 PM »

I think if anyone seriously believes he is simply out for attention they should drop the matter, lest they give him more attention and make themselves out to be the attention getters.
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« Reply #59 on: April 16, 2011, 08:43:59 PM »

I think if anyone seriously believes he is simply out for attention they should drop the matter, lest they give him more attention and make themselves out to be the attention getters.
Couldn't have said it better myself. Seacrest Out!
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« Reply #60 on: April 17, 2011, 12:43:02 AM »

I know that likely no one cares what I think...

But I think Aposphet should be lauded for his open confession here. Can you imagine how difficult this would be?

I think on an Orthodox Christian forum that forgiveness and compassion should go without saying. If he can't find forgiveness here - then where?

PoorFoolNicholas,

Who are you to question his sincerity? Are you a Christian or no?

"Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."

Have you ever really thought about that prayer? We are telling God that we agree to be judged in the same manner in which we judge others.

"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
- Matthew 6:14-15


I personally have not (that I recall) had any real correspondence w/ Aposphet (or any of his alter egos) so I don't feel he has anything to apologize for to me directly... but if I had and he asked me - he could certainly count on unending forgiveness from me because that is what I desire and need for myself.

If I desire forgiveness - I MUST forgive.

This is not a complicated concept.

†IC XC†
†NI KA†

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« Reply #61 on: April 17, 2011, 01:00:19 AM »

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To call me out on atthention seeking behavior, copy pasta sophmoric bits as pure fail, to suggest no one cares, and finally then to have the audacity to say "in truth and love good luck" really makes me question your motives and your contribution to this thread. Deride me as much as you like, but don't give false apathetic care solaces. I'd elaborate more on my own personal suffering, but why should I bother if it is your intention already to dismiss anything I may honestly say about my personal life and my own struggles. But satisfy your ego however you like, I wish to conduct no more further discussions with you.
Here we go again. Play the martyr why don't you? Maybe it will squeeze the last bit of attention from the OC.net sponge for your own gratification. I don't believe you, and personally don't really care what you did. As orthonorm pointed out, it's meaningless. You played a couple of forums for fools to get attention, we get it. Now that the cat is out of the bag you threaten to leave? Thats just too rich for me pal. You need to speak with your priest and heal. Stop deluding yourself and playing cat and mouse games with all of us. We have better things to do.
PFN, I was one of the moderators who voted to approve Aposphet's post of apology. If you still wish to believe he submitted the post solely to draw attention to himself and that we should never have approved it, then please take that up with us moderators and leave Aposphet alone. We'll take the heat for the post's appearance on the forum. (I say this speaking as a poster who happens to also be a moderator. As such, I don't mean this advice to have any official authority, so take it for what you think it's worth.)
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« Reply #62 on: April 17, 2011, 03:50:35 PM »

I have no affilation nor acquaintices with stickman. It is an unsual "coincedence" he decided to post now in that TtC exposure thread, but I have absolutley no involvment with stickman.

That's absolutely correct. I am stick man, and am writing this from Richmond Hill Ontario, if you want to check my location. The accusations of Aposphet being me are just wrong.

Oh, and Aphosphet/TryingToConvert, I may have trolled these boards originally (I have admitted to having done so, and no longer do) but my PM to you was well-meant and in good faith. Your disclosing the whole message to the boards, especially when you were trolling yourself, was uncalled for.
 You are a stubborn man, aren't you?
 For duplicate accounts, trolling, et al., you're muted.  Ban requested.
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