For those poor souls who may be peeking in on this conversation wondering what on earth is going on, let me clarify one thing:
It is the unquestioned belief of the Orthodox Church (Eastern, Oriental, and Old Calendarists alike) that the only context proper for sexual activity is within marriage. While we affirm and acknowledge the age-old Judeo-Christian prohibition on sex outside of marriage, and indeed see sex outside of marriage as missing the mark (literally amartia, sin) of human life according to God's plan and command, we also proclaim Christ crucified and Resurrected who came to save us from our sin, and we thus declare that no sin can doom us eternally if we choose to repent in this life. For those who have had sexual relations outside of marriage (either premarital, or extramarital), there is forgiveness and new life waiting for you in Christ. For those who wish to justify a life of pre/extramarital sexual activity, be warned that leading others astray compounds one sin with the other (premarital sex) - but there can be forgiveness and new life for you also.