From another webpage: http://sor.cua.edu/Ecumenism/19940125SOCRCMarriagePastoralGuide.html
Celebration of Interchurch MarriagesSo, this sounded all well and good. It seems that if a Syriac Orthodox faithful marries a Romanist in their partner's church the couple is only allowed to commune in the Roman Church.
The liturgical minister should be the parish priest of the church where the marriage is celebrated, or his delegate from the same ecclesial communion.
There is to be no joint celebration of marriage by the ministers of both Churches. The marriage is to be blessed either by the Catholic or by the Syrian Orthodox minister. However, there could be some kind of participation at the liturgical service by the other minister, who could read a Scriptural passage or give a sermon.
On the occasion of these celebrations, the couple and any members of their families who belong to these Churches are allowed to participate in the Holy Eucharist in the Church where the sacrament of matrimony is being celebrated.
Proper entries must be made in the Church registers, and marriage certificates should be issued for a record to be made in the register of the other Church.
One of us is misunderstanding this, and for now, I think I am not: the above basically says that if a Syrian Orthodox and a Roman Catholic marry in a Roman church, both the Orthodox and Catholic families are allowed to commune in the host church (in this case, the RC). If they married in an Orthodox church, they would also be allowed to commune (even the Catholics), but it's a moot point because our marriage rite does not include Communion.
It doesn't really say what is allowed beyond the wedding day, so there's no reason to think that "the couple is only allowed to commune in the Roman Church", not from this citation anyway. More likely, they are allowed to commune in both, especially if they decide to go to one or the other church regularly, even if they are encouraged to go to their own churches.
Pastoral Care of Catholic-Syrian Orthodox Interchurch FamiliesWhat sort of "special occasions" are these?
The Syrian Orthodox partner is to be reminded that he or she has to commit him/herself to imparting to their children proper Orthodox formation, to the extent possible and in agreement with his/her partner. Such formation should be fully in harmony with the Orthodox tradition to which he/she belongs.
The pastors of both partners are bound in conscience to provide continued pastoral care to the interchurch families in such a way as to contribute to their sanctity, unity and harmony.
Each partner is to be advised to attend the liturgical celebrations of his/her respective Church, but the couple may be allowed to participate jointly in the Eucharistic celebration on special occasions when this joint participation is socially required.
Any declaration of the nullity of such marriages is only to be considered with the consent of the bishops concerned from both Churches.
The funeral service should as far as possible be conducted according to the rite of the dead person's Church, even though he/she may be buried in either of the cemeteries, especially if the other partner is already buried there in a family tomb.
By "special occasions", they probably have in mind "First Communions", weddings, baptisms occurring during a Mass, funeral Masses, etc.
I think this is actually the more interesting part of the document. At the top, it says it was developed and approved by both Churches, but it explicitly provides for the raising of the children as Orthodox. Usually, the Catholics require that the children be raised Catholic, so I am surprised that they made an exception for an entire Church.
Also, the part about "declarations of nullity" stuck out. I wonder to what extent the Syrian Orthodox involved in this realised that the Roman theology of the sacrament of marriage is rather different from our own before coming up with all this other stuff.