chewing tobacco and recieving communion...

[Tikhon.of.Colorado]

well, my dad is going to be chrismated this next saturday.  I have a question (obviously) for you all...

he reciently started chewing tobacco.  he does it all the time, even in Church.  he even eats with it in his mouth.  the thing is, he thinks he is being slick and hids it from me.  should I say something to him directly or too father that he should take it out of his mouth when he recieves the eucharist? 

I mean, you shouldn't even chew gum the morning before you're to recieve, right?

[Quinault]

Stay out of this situation, he is your father. Concentrate on your own journey of salvation. When he attempts to receive with something in his mouth, they will not allow him to receive. He should have been taught this in his catechism anyway. If he hasn't been taught proper etiquette in regard to partaking of the Eucharist, then he should as the priest before he is chrismated about what he can/can't do. You need to step back and leave this one alone. You are not responsible for how he does/does not behave. You have asked many questions similar to this regarding your fathers reception into the church. If you try to make him "perfect" now, you may just turn him off to the church altogether. Just suggest that your father meet with the priest about how the service will be and what is expected, and then leave your father and his practice of the faith alone.

[Quinault]

His reception into the church isn't an instant change, it is the first step on his journey of salvation. Telling him now how right/wrong he is in every instance will alienate him and damage your relationship with him, and possibly his relationship to the church. He doesn't need to feel judged. He will change in time, but not because you are there to tell him whenever he steps out of line.

[Asteriktos]

Your Dad needs to take a little advice from the Tobacco Man 

[Tikhon.of.Colorado]

Asteriktos:  lol 

Quinault:  your absolutly right, I need to stop trying to perfect my father.  he just asks me all of these questions, and sometimes I don't have an answer.  we'l be standing in Church, and he'll be asking me if he's doing this and that correctly.  I'm just trying to help him, but I see now that helping him (in the way I've supposidly been doing it) may be dangerous to my own salvation. 

I have some unresolved issues with my dad that go back to when I was little. (yes, some parts of my life aren't on OC.net!    )  part of this envolves me thinking he's lower than myself, and I need to fix him.  deep down, I look for a reason to tell him not to come to Church    .   of course, I have no right to do this.  I'm speaking about this with my confessor on a weekly basis.

I seriously have some issues to work through with my dad, and it didn't dawn on me until you posted that me trying to correct everything he does in Church is just more of my priedful hate coming to the surface. 

thank you, Quinailt, for posting and waking me up to this, I will totally back off. 

[LizaSymonenko]

Quinault is right that you need to back off judging your dad...and be careful not to push him away.

However, if this were merely that he doesn't cross himself when required, or doesn't kneel at the right time, or even that he has tobacco in his mouth in church...it would be okay.

However, receiving the Eurcharist is a completely different thing.  Forget about chewing gum before the Eurcharist, it's the after that has me concerned.  I've been taught not to spit anything out of my mouth after I've had Holy Communion.  We are not to chew gum, eat apples off the core (because you are going to throw out the core), eat a chicken drumstick, etc.  No spitting, lest some of the Eucharist also gets expelled.

Chewing tobacco and spitting is hardly acceptable post receipt of the Eucharist - in my opinion.

Could you maybe provide him with a pamphlet discussing the do/don'ts in church.  Again, something not aimed specifically towards him, but, just general information that would include this in it...take off hat, turn off cellphone, no spitting after receiving the Eucharist...

If you don't have one, and need one...let me know...I'll whip one out for you and you can print it. 

To me respecting the Body of Christ is most important...

[Tags:]

OrthodoxChristianity.net > Moderated Forums > Convert Issues (Moderator: Thomas) > Topic: chewing tobacco and recieving communion...