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Author Topic: In these last days...  (Read 1648 times) Average Rating: 0
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Agabus
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« on: March 14, 2011, 09:29:11 PM »

This lenten season, rather than just participating in the fasts of the Church, I am fasting in preparation of reception into the Church. Lord willing, I -- along with my wife and two children -- will be received into the Church at the end of Great Lent. This is a good thing four years in the making.

But during this time of final preparation, I find myself plagued with doubts and -- worse than passions, because it is the worst of the passions -- spiritual listlessness. It is harder to pray now than it ever was (and if there was ever a soul that understood faithlessness, it is me), and sometimes I fear I will not run this race to the end.

Pray for me, a sinner.
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« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2011, 09:30:55 PM »

Lord have mercy!!
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« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2011, 09:56:31 PM »

The Cross has conquered, and Christ is risen. Therefore, strive to carry your cross and work out your salvation with fear and trembling. But when you fall, remember the glorious Resurrection and arise with faith in the unfailing mercy of God.

"One thing I do, forgetting what is behind and striving towards what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." [Philippians 3:13-14]

"Lord have mercy."



Selam
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« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2011, 10:31:20 PM »



Don't give up.  You CAN do it!  You don't have to "run" the race.  Walk over the finish line, or crawl if you have to....just cross it.

Lord, have mercy!
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« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2011, 11:10:10 PM »



Don't give up.  You CAN do it!  You don't have to "run" the race.  Walk over the finish line, or crawl if you have to....just cross it.

Lord, have mercy!


Amen to that! "...just Cross it."  Wink


Selam
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« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2011, 07:31:42 AM »

Lord have mercy.
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« Reply #6 on: March 15, 2011, 08:03:42 AM »

Lord, have mercy.
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« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2011, 02:40:05 PM »

Lord have Mercy.
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« Reply #8 on: March 15, 2011, 05:55:13 PM »

This lenten season, rather than just participating in the fasts of the Church, I am fasting in preparation of reception into the Church. Lord willing, I -- along with my wife and two children -- will be received into the Church at the end of Great Lent. This is a good thing four years in the making.

But during this time of final preparation, I find myself plagued with doubts and -- worse than passions, because it is the worst of the passions -- spiritual listlessness. It is harder to pray now than it ever was (and if there was ever a soul that understood faithlessness, it is me), and sometimes I fear I will not run this race to the end.

Pray for me, a sinner.

Those who keep constant track of my posts and print them out and tack them to their walls, as they should, know that I've had a little more than a bit of fear and trembling and embarrassment along the way.

Since the beginning of Lent and since my Priest told me the probable day of my possible Baptism and certain Chrismation, two things have happened.

Anxiety: Not so much can I make through Lent, but can I really live out what I "know" to be the Truth and should I jump into the Church to my greater condemnation. Other thoughts similar to this come and go, but there is a general anxiety. The anxiety seems "reasonable" to me and to others I have discussed this with. The accompanying thoughts, not so much. My Priest makes it simple. Cross yourself and cling to the positive.

The first saying of St. Anthony the Great has been of immense help.

Doubt: This has been ratcheted wwwaaayyy up. I mentioned above I "know" what the Truth is. And by this, I mean what I feel in my gut or heart. But boy has my head not done a number on me lately (the following are honest, if you are too pious don't read) (MODs: redact as you see fit):

Who are you kidding? This is all nonsense and BS.

What is the big deal about making that phone call (sex)? . . . . Like if there is a God, He would really care about such stuff. It's consensual . . .

*Looking at a photo of some clergy or church on OC.net* Sheesh, what pompous, gaudy nonsense. Maybe I just like my parish. But really, all this idiotic make-up? Would God really care about this either?

And, and, and, . . . use your imagination.

Again work has exploded, so that first saying of St. Anthony the Great has been of immense help.

Again my Priest makes it simple. Cross yourself and cling to the positive.

Also, making every service possible at my parish and trying to fit into my schedule whatever charitable act they afford me to participate in has helped the above.

And being honest about the above with more than one person who knows me and cares about me. They help put those moments into a larger context I can easily forget. My Priest, therapist, and couple friends and family members.

They all ain't Christian and certainly ain't Orthodox and some just know I've been "going to church", but they have seen the difference made in my life over the last few years of the beginning of my inquiry in earnest and are mighty glad for it.

If this is over self-indulgent or in anyway offensive, I apologize.

Mods, redact or delete as you see fit.



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Agabus
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« Reply #9 on: April 11, 2011, 12:15:03 PM »

I have made my first confession. By God's mercy I will make it another five days.

Please continue to pray for me.
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« Reply #10 on: April 11, 2011, 12:26:34 PM »

"Lord have mercy."


Selam
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Pray to God, and start a revolution instead!"
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« Reply #11 on: April 11, 2011, 01:07:17 PM »

Lord have mercy and many years.

Keep your head down, and keep moving. And listen to your priest.
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« Reply #12 on: April 12, 2011, 01:19:31 AM »

Prayers......

Lord Have Mercy....Amen Amen
Lord Have Mercy....Amen Amen
Lord Have Mercy ....Amen Amen

May the Bless Lord, Grant You And Your Family Strength,
to over come all obstacle's the evil one put in you Path....
The Closer on get's to the light ,thats when the battle begins.....Amen Amen

Prayers to The Most Blessed Theotokos ,Holy Mother of God,
To shields you and your family ,under Her Mantle Of Protection....Amen Amen

Prayers to Your Holy Guardian Angels and The Holy Arch Angel Michael
to defend you and your family, against the fiery Dart's of Satan
and His Demons, seeking the Loss of our Salvation....Amen Amen
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ГОСПОДЕ ГОСПОДЕ ,ПОГЛЕДАЈ СА НЕБА ,ДОЂИ И ПОСЕТИ ТВОЈ ВИНОГРАД ТВОЈА ДЕСНИЦА ПОСАДИЛА АМИН АМИН.
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« Reply #13 on: April 12, 2011, 02:15:11 AM »

Kyrie Eleison
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« Reply #14 on: April 14, 2011, 12:07:30 AM »

+Lord Have Mercy!
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« Reply #15 on: April 14, 2011, 12:47:35 AM »

I have made my first confession. By God's mercy I will make it another five days.

Please continue to pray for me.

Yippy!  ...I mean, congratulations!

Many, many, happy and blessed years!

Welcome home!

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« Reply #16 on: April 14, 2011, 06:15:36 AM »

Congratulations, Agabus.   angel
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Agabus
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« Reply #17 on: April 16, 2011, 05:52:20 PM »

I am now an Orthodox Christian.
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THE OPINIONS HERE MAY NOT REFLECT THE ACTUAL OR PERCEIVED ORTHODOX CHURCH
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« Reply #18 on: April 16, 2011, 06:54:57 PM »

I am now an Orthodox Christian.

Congratulations!
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« Reply #19 on: April 16, 2011, 07:09:37 PM »

Awesome!! May the Lord grant you MANY YEARS!!
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« Reply #20 on: April 16, 2011, 07:43:30 PM »

Many years!
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« Reply #21 on: April 16, 2011, 08:34:06 PM »

Many years!   angel
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« Reply #22 on: April 16, 2011, 09:47:46 PM »

Many years!  Cheesy


As someone still waiting in line, I sincerely feel such joy for my brothers and sisters entering the Church! CONGRATS!
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« Reply #23 on: April 16, 2011, 09:56:53 PM »

Congratulations and Many Years, Agabus.  Delighted to be received on the same day as you!
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« Reply #24 on: April 16, 2011, 10:03:03 PM »

Many Years!
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« Reply #25 on: April 16, 2011, 10:06:23 PM »

I am now an Orthodox Christian.
Many Years!
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« Reply #26 on: April 16, 2011, 10:27:24 PM »

Prayers.......
Congradulation......

Lord Grant You Many Years
and Good Health.......Amen Amen

Axios ,Dostojan , Worthy.......
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ГОСПОДЕ ГОСПОДЕ ,ПОГЛЕДАЈ СА НЕБА ,ДОЂИ И ПОСЕТИ ТВОЈ ВИНОГРАД ТВОЈА ДЕСНИЦА ПОСАДИЛА АМИН АМИН.
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« Reply #27 on: April 18, 2011, 07:32:48 AM »

Many years.
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And FWIW, these are our Fathers too, you know.

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