Long story short: I am 29, come from a charismatic church, my wife comes from a more reserved church and I can't seem to follow any of God's commandments, pray to Him, faith with works, be nice to my mother (I'm not mean, I'm just not a good son) read my Holy Bible etc. I need some spiritual help!
Both of my mothers are the best women you could meet. My mother is such a good woman but I am a bad son and can't seem to get out of her house
while my mom in law is my second mom, she is such a wonderful woman of God and considers me her 2nd son! I couldn't ask for anything better. To the best of my knowledge my mom, and the rest of my family are not christians. I will even admit that I am not a christian even though I accepted Jesus into my life nearly 10 years ago yadda yadda yadda. I know you've all heard that before. My wife's family are christian and keep following Jesus everyday. My mom in law is a christian radio host in socal while my dad in law was a protestant pastor and he was thinking a lot about converting over to the orthodox church (in fact, it was he who got me interested in the orthodox church.) Last, my brother in law is orthodox and is attending an oca church up near sacramento.
My problem: I can't seem to commit to orthodoxy. I wish I could just swallow a magic pill and become a christian over night but I know that is impossible. So my question is, what should I do? I believe in God but there are so many issues I have with my daily walk that I don't think I can make it. I really need some prayer and guidance. The last church that my wife and I attended was St. Nicholas Orthodox Church in Billings, MT. Great priest, great parish. we feel as though we are finally "home" there. But I just can't commit. It is like Satan and his minions are keeping me from the Lord. Any and all help is very much desired! Thank you all!