Lately I find myself with nothing to pray for, as I seem to have lost hope in overcoming my sins, also not believing in the power of my prayer for others, as I seem to always seek the selfish thing to do. I sit before my icons, standing up, with nothing to say to God, because I don't feel like fighting myself anymore, but rather indulging in the sins that destroy me. My heartfelt prayers are few and far in between......it is as if, as long as I can see myself, see the environment i'm in, nothing inspires me, the only thing that seems to make me feel a bit different is if I close myself off in a dark space, where I can see nothing and in that darkness feel safe from the horrible world that surrounds me. [ I am being very dramatic, but essentially, I feel dead to myself, and this world is so hard to overcome, in that the only thing that gives me any motivation is retiring to a world of lust or fantasy---either through television or the internet] I want to escape it all, and the only thing that gives me peace is complete darkness, for it seems that whenever I have light, I pervert it's use somehow.]
So what I am asking is, is praying in the dark, to God, complete dark, where I cannot see anything, is that ok?