Greetings,
I'm an inquirer of an RC background, currently living in Russia (again) as of yesterday.
That inquiry is still ongoing, up and down; there are moments when I feel as though I am certain to take the leap to Orthodoxy, and others when I am not. The road has been marked with a lot of awakening, but also with a lot of hardship, most of which is due to my own spiritually immature reactions to my confusion.
One major issue I am now continuously running into is confession: I absolutely believe in the importance of the sacrament, from either an RC or OC standpoint, and currently find myself unsure what to do about it. Of course, as I'm not even officially an Orthodox catechumen, let alone chrismated, full sacramental penance with an Orthodox priest is out of the question, but on the flipside, as I have come to doubt my Roman Catholic faith in favor of Orthodoxy, I cannot, in good conscience, make a good confession in my own church. This leaves me wondering where to go when I feel the need to repent in a deep way, and has led me into that nasty trap of presumption, and feeling that once I've already sinned, I may as well let it all go. Of course this is not right, but I have always used the sacrament of penance to help me from spiraling out of control, and to bring me closer to God in a more effective way than anything I know of.
Any thoughts/suggestions? For all of its quirks, I find the input and personalities on this board to be very helpful.
Спасибо большое,
Jim