Good evening everyone. I'd like to start what will likely be a long and unnecessarily rambling post by saying what an honor and a pleasure it is to find myself at this forum. I think it will prove to be of great aid to me in the very near future.
To the point, my name is Dan (as you could probably tell from my username) and I'm a sixteen year old Roman Catholic from the United States. I have always known about the Orthodox Church in some form (a friend of mine when I was younger was Russian Orthodox, a current friend of mine is Armenian Apostolic, and another is Greek Orthodox), but my interest in it really only blossomed over the course of the previous summer when a newer friend, who also recommended this forum to me, began debating matters of the faith with me and sending me links to Orthodox music on Youtube. I've always been a hard-line traditionalist (I prefer the older Latin Mass over the post-Vatican II mass), and the first thing that attracted me to the Orthodox faith was how traditional and constant it has always been, while the Roman Catholic church has been changing seemingly more and more by the decade since 1517.
After months and months of endless grappling in which I have ping-ponged between Orthodoxy, Eastern-Rite Catholicism, and then back to Traditional Roman Catholicism, I think I have finally reached some kind of significant turning point. In all honesty, conversion to Orthodoxy is something I want more than anything else. However wonderful this may be, there are still several key issues holding me back from making the final leap.
The first issue is reasoning. However much Orthodoxy may compel me, there are still differences between Orthodoxy and Catholicism that I don't quite see the Orthodox opinion on. For example, what is so wrong with Papal Supremacy, or why are Orthodox priests permitted to marry while Catholic priests cannot? Many such questions still need resolving before I can make my final decision. Call it cowardice, but I'm worried about making the final leap and then discovering I was wrong after it's too late.
The second, and one of the more pressing issues, is my family. Much like me, my family is very devout and very traditionally Roman Catholic. This isn't necessarily to say that they disrespect other traditions, in fact my father recently went to a funeral at a Greek Orthodox church, and I have several other family members who belong to the Lutheran church. However, my parents and even my younger siblings (I am the oldest of four children) have voiced their qualms about me ever converting. I once asked my father and mother what they would think if I ever converted. My dad simply said he would be disappointed, though not angry or anything, but my mother got quite intense about the subject, declaring she would "never allow me to join a church that wasn't completely and totally in-line with the pope." My younger sister even got angry with me when I expressed interest in attending a Byzantine Catholic church for just one mass! Needless to say, my conversion would create quite an uproar within the household, and I have no idea what would become of it. I'm not worried about them killing me or anything, of course, but strong repercussions are a definite possibility.
The third and most important issue to me is a certain commitment I made. One of my younger sisters will be making her confirmation this coming May and she, seeing my interest in traditional ways of doing things, has chosen me to be her sponsor. This is a very troubling thought to me on my possible journey to Orthodoxy as it raises two very significant issues. First of all, I can't really sponsor her if in my heart I am not truly a member of the church (I don't plan on actually becoming a catechumen until I turn eighteen), which means I would have to tell her that she has to choose somebody else, which would be a positively awful thing to do to her this far along. The second problem is that, even if I do remain Catholic while she makes her confirmation, how can I simply turn my back on her and join a totally different church when I'm supposed to be serving as a sort of mentor in faith to her? I suppose I could get her to come with me, but I can't imagine two children leaving Catholicism for Orthodoxy would be any better for the family than just me leaving.
Edit: To add to this:
And He said to another, "Follow Me." But he said, "Lord, permit me first to go and bury my father." Jesus said to him, "Allow the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of God."
As I interpret the quote, this essentially means that our duty is to first seek God's true path and to proclaim His word, even over concerns for one's own family. However, I still can't see how I can, in good conscience, abandon her for a different church when she needs me.
Any advice or help that anybody here could offer, I am more than willing to take it. I'm extremely fearful for my future, and I honestly have no idea what to do anymore.