Author Topic: Prayer Request for us and mother-in-law  (Read 2585 times)

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Offline thebigee

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Prayer Request for us and mother-in-law
« on: December 26, 2010, 08:19:50 PM »

This is mess and I don't know how to start with this...

My wife and I are Catechumens and hope to officially join the Orthodox church during Pascha. The issue is we've been hiding the fact that were're moving to Orthodoxy from my mother-in-law.  She has attended a church that is steeped in John MacArthur's teachings and so would not be happy that we're attending a church that has "Catholic" bent. In addition her son (my brother-in-law) is an atheist and that has been absolutely devastating to her.  In addition our own children have bailed on the faith and that's what's triggered our exploration of Orthodoxy (See my blog post: We've also been concealing the fact that our kids (especially our older daughter) are embracing Atheism/Agnosticism.  Things came out in the open over Christmas dinner.  My mother-in-law is in her late 80s and is getting to the point where she's forgetting stuff.  Admittedly, we've been lying to here about were we've been attending church.  Since she forgets stuff she's always asking questions. She forgot where we had been going to church and asked my wife where we're going now.  My wife caved, stuttered and stammered that we're going to a church called "St. Johns".  My mother-in-law asked if that was Lutheran and I finally piped in "No It's Eastern Orthodox".  She got weird look in her face but didn't say anything after that.  I drove her and my Mom home and she didn't say anything about it.  My Mom's OK with our move to Eastern Orthodoxy; she has an ecumenical streak a mile wide running down her back (just like I do).  Anyway...Since my mother-in-law is steeped in the John MacArthur subculture she has a tendency to engage in "interrogation" rather than "relationship".  I don't know what to do.  My kids, being good relativists, want us to keep lying to our mother-in-law about their "spiritual" status because they realize how devastating her son's defection from the faith has been to her.  My wife and I are sick to death of lying to her and can't keep in doing it. 

I covet your prayers, feedback, and wisdom.

Most Holy Theotokos, through your prayers, may the Lord Jesus have mercy on us.

Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: Prayer Request for us and mother-in-law
« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2010, 08:24:37 PM »
Lord, have mercy!

Don't let anything stand in your way as you approach Orthodoxy.  That is most important.

As for your mother-in-law, break the news to her gently.  Explain to her what Orthodoxy is.

I pray that everything goes smoothly...and that your kids realize how happy you are and decide to join you!  ;-)

PS.  Welcome to the forum!
« Last Edit: December 26, 2010, 08:24:57 PM by LizaSymonenko »
Conquer evil men by your gentle kindness, and make zealous men wonder at your goodness. Put the lover of legality to shame by your compassion. With the afflicted be afflicted in mind. Love all men, but keep distant from all men.
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Offline quietmorning

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Re: Prayer Request for us and mother-in-law
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2010, 08:26:25 PM »
Lord have mercy! 

In His Mercy,

Offline thebigee

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Re: Prayer Request for us and mother-in-law
« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2010, 08:34:11 PM »
My kids are defiantly happier there even though the worship service is more like "participatory art" to them at least they feel/think they can have a coherent conversation about life, the universe, and everything with the rest of the members.  In our previous church (actually a fairly decent protestant church) and especially in the home school sub-culture you had to be a card carrying republican and "exactly" believe in  X, Y and Z...well If you're a former protestant you know what I mean....

« Last Edit: December 26, 2010, 08:37:18 PM by thebigee »

Offline stashko

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Re: Prayer Request for us and mother-in-law
« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2010, 08:48:36 PM »
Lord Have Mercy....Amen Amen

Load You Children up and take them to the Orthodox
Church, Miracles do Happen ,who knows they may like ,plus it
would be something different for them to do...I use to go when younger
to the kingdom Hall ,because it was different .....
Tell your Mother in law be upfront,,and bring her along to see for herself....

Prayers for You and Your Children and Mother in law, For with Christ All things
are possable...Amen Amen 

Offline Tikhon.of.Colorado

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Re: Prayer Request for us and mother-in-law
« Reply #5 on: December 27, 2010, 02:32:21 AM »
wow, this is a real case of taking up your cross to follow Christ.  coming to the faith with a less-than-supportive family can be difficult.  you can get somme very good advice from the people of this forum, as this is something that is (sadly) dealt with alot.  had a problem like this with my mother.  she follows Joel Olsteen, and hated me doing anything too "Catholic."  eventually, she just realized I'm independant, and won't force my faith on her.

just assure your family that this won't affect your relationship with them, and will make you a better person. 

your in my prayers.  Lord, have mercy!

Offline SolEX01

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Re: Prayer Request for us and mother-in-law
« Reply #6 on: December 27, 2010, 03:11:35 AM »
Lord have Mercy.

Offline GabrieltheCelt

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Re: Prayer Request for us and mother-in-law
« Reply #7 on: December 27, 2010, 05:03:11 AM »
Lord, have mercy!

It's obvious that you love your mother-in-law and are not anxious to cause her any heartache or discomfort.  And though she deserves to know the truth, maybe at her age, it might not be a sin to omit some things.  I don't want to sound as if I'm encouraging lying, but sometimes finessing the truth can prevent a lot of unnecessary heartache.  I would seek the wisdom and prayers of your spiritual father about this.  If you do decide telling her is the right thing to do, I think you and your spouse should do it together but informally.  In other words, don't make a big production out of it.  It sounds like she's a devout woman who cares about you and her child; what a gift!  Maybe you could start by explaining that Jesus Christ is the center of Orthodoxy.  Maybe show her some of our prayers to Him and/or read her the Creed.  But whatever you and your spouse and your priest decide, please do not let this get in your way of coming home to Orthodoxy!   :) 
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Offline Luke

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Re: Prayer Request for us and mother-in-law
« Reply #8 on: December 27, 2010, 02:17:55 PM »
At some point you may want to invite her to see what a Liturgy is like, or to open house.  If she accepts, fine.  If she declines, fine.  Either way, LORD have mercy!

Offline Heorhij

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Re: Prayer Request for us and mother-in-law
« Reply #9 on: December 27, 2010, 02:58:29 PM »
Lord, have mercy!

Welcome to the forum!
Love never fails.

Offline HandmaidenofGod

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Re: Prayer Request for us and mother-in-law
« Reply #10 on: December 27, 2010, 07:45:03 PM »
Lord have mercy!
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jer 29:11