Author Topic: Politically Correct Nativity  (Read 1110 times)

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Offline Aindriú

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Politically Correct Nativity
« on: December 22, 2010, 10:18:37 PM »
Quote
Characters: Mary and an Angel.

(Please note that the role of the Angel is Non Gender specific and therefore the person playing the role must be chosen in accordance with an approved diversity procedure)

(Mary is sitting on the floor crosslegged with her eyes shut and her hands on her knees palms up. She is chanting)

MARY: Ohmm, Ohmm, Ohmm,

(The Angel enters Stage Left (or Stage Right depending on cultural preferences)

ANGEL: Mary

(Mary stands up startled, she adjusts her Hijab to cover her face and speaks)

MARY: Who are you ? You interrupted me when I was allowing my Kharma to flow forth and develop my Krishna Consciousness

ANGEL: I am Ahura Mazda, Lord of Light and a messenger of Allah. I have come to tell you that you are to have a child and in his honour every year children everywhere will be given presents regardless of their race, colour, creed, sexual orientation or transgender inclinations

MARY: But how can this be, I am a good Jewish Girl, though I hasten to add not a member of the international Zionist conspiracy or involved in the suppression of the legitimate aspirations of the Palestinian people

ANGEL: All things are possible to Allah. He has the power to turn Teddy bears into Criminals or Global Warming into snowy blizzards so this will be easy for him. The child will be born just after the festival of Divalli. Farewell Mary and may the force be with you.

MARY: Wait, you have not told me what the name of the baby will be

(The Angel thinks for a minute)

ANGEL: It’s funny you should say that but with everything else that’s going on these days I’ve completely forgotten who the baby is

THE END ?

http://wdtprs.com/blog/2010/12/have-yourself-a-multicultural-little-christmaaaaas/

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Offline Ian Lazarus

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Re: Politically Correct Nativity
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2010, 10:38:47 PM »
Ay...headache...
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Offline podkarpatska

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Re: Politically Correct Nativity
« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2010, 10:47:06 PM »
I know that this is supposed to be satire, but come on - even the kookiest, well maybe not the kookiest - west coast Episcopalians wouldn't do this.

Offline Entscheidungsproblem

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Re: Politically Correct Nativity
« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2010, 10:52:31 PM »
Quote
Farewell Mary and may the force be with you.

Best part.
As a result of a thousand million years of evolution, the universe is becoming conscious of itself, able to understand something of its past history and its possible future.
-- Sir Julian Sorell Huxley FRS

Offline Heorhij

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Re: Politically Correct Nativity
« Reply #4 on: December 22, 2010, 11:03:26 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D

Too funny!
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Offline LBK

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Re: Politically Correct Nativity
« Reply #5 on: December 22, 2010, 11:13:53 PM »
I know that this is supposed to be satire, but come on - even the kookiest, well maybe not the kookiest - west coast Episcopalians wouldn't do this.

It wouldn't be too off-beam for a certain Episcopalian church in LA well-known for its "icons" of "dancing saints".  :-*
« Last Edit: December 22, 2010, 11:14:12 PM by LBK »
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Offline Aindriú

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Re: Politically Correct Nativity
« Reply #6 on: December 22, 2010, 11:14:52 PM »
I know that this is supposed to be satire, but come on - even the kookiest, well maybe not the kookiest - west coast Episcopalians wouldn't do this.

It wouldn't be too off-beam for a certain Episcopalian church in LA well-known for its "icons" of "dancing saints".  :-*

Cross-thread points!

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Offline mike

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Re: Politically Correct Nativity
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2010, 09:00:40 AM »
Awesome!

Offline vamrat

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Re: Politically Correct Nativity
« Reply #8 on: December 23, 2010, 10:27:56 AM »
I heard that they won't be able to have a Nativity Scene in Washington DC this year.  It's not really a matter of PC or anything like that, it's just that they can't find three wise men or a virgin.
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.

Offline Shanghaiski

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Re: Politically Correct Nativity
« Reply #9 on: December 23, 2010, 10:39:25 AM »
To further the story, I suppose Herod's order could have originally been to "kiss" the babies of Bethlehem, but the soldiers misheard it as "kill," then the mothers were convinced to be glad their children were killed because they were reducing the surplus global population, and there were less people for the census takers to count, so everyone could go to the party early, and without having to hire a babysitter.
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Offline podkarpatska

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Re: Politically Correct Nativity
« Reply #10 on: December 23, 2010, 11:25:33 AM »
I heard that they won't be able to have a Nativity Scene in Washington DC this year.  It's not really a matter of PC or anything like that, it's just that they can't find three wise men or a virgin.

I first heard that joke in about fourth grade or so, about forty five years ago and I can't post to what ethnic group it was directed at that time. Seemed funny then, but I was ten and it wouldn't be PC to restate the original! lol

Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: Politically Correct Nativity
« Reply #11 on: December 23, 2010, 12:00:36 PM »

Well, speaking of "politically correct"....my niece who is in first grade (who has a "holiday" party, and a winter break) wanted to do something charitable.  She's part of our church's Jr. Ukrainian Orthodox League and she's in the habit of collecting for various causes.

They decided to collect mittens...from the children's book "The Mitten Tree".  In the story an elderly lady sees kids with cold hands across the street at the bus stop and knits mittens, hanging them on the evergreen next to the stop for the kids to find.  Eventually the tree gets filled with mittens.

So, my sister who is a "room mom" brought in a little evergreen tree for the kids to come and deposit their donated mittens on.  She was told to take it down because it looked too much like a Christmas tree.  Instead the kids just through their mittens in a paper bag. 

 :-\

Conquer evil men by your gentle kindness, and make zealous men wonder at your goodness. Put the lover of legality to shame by your compassion. With the afflicted be afflicted in mind. Love all men, but keep distant from all men.
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Offline Heorhij

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Re: Politically Correct Nativity
« Reply #12 on: December 23, 2010, 12:10:27 PM »

Well, speaking of "politically correct"....my niece who is in first grade (who has a "holiday" party, and a winter break) wanted to do something charitable.  She's part of our church's Jr. Ukrainian Orthodox League and she's in the habit of collecting for various causes.

They decided to collect mittens...from the children's book "The Mitten Tree".  In the story an elderly lady sees kids with cold hands across the street at the bus stop and knits mittens, hanging them on the evergreen next to the stop for the kids to find.  Eventually the tree gets filled with mittens.

So, my sister who is a "room mom" brought in a little evergreen tree for the kids to come and deposit their donated mittens on.  She was told to take it down because it looked too much like a Christmas tree.  Instead the kids just through their mittens in a paper bag.  

 :-\



When my daughter was eight or nine (back in the 1990-s), and studying at a very politically correct public school in Seattle, they had a "winter holiday play" that did not include anything that could hint to a European or North American winter. The stage was decorated as the jungle, and the kids were dancing, wearing loincloth. They sang something about hunting lions (or maybe preserving lions, I don't quite remember). Then an adult teacher stepped in and told the auditorium that in different countries people have different names for their winter holiday, but it's still the same thing. Then the kids danced again in their loincloth, and shook their spears, singing something about leopards etc. Then they played a record of Elton John singing "The Circle of Life" from the "Lion King" Disney movie. That was all.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2010, 12:11:45 PM by Heorhij »
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Offline Schultz

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Re: Politically Correct Nativity
« Reply #13 on: December 23, 2010, 12:15:38 PM »

Well, speaking of "politically correct"....my niece who is in first grade (who has a "holiday" party, and a winter break) wanted to do something charitable.  She's part of our church's Jr. Ukrainian Orthodox League and she's in the habit of collecting for various causes.

They decided to collect mittens...from the children's book "The Mitten Tree".  In the story an elderly lady sees kids with cold hands across the street at the bus stop and knits mittens, hanging them on the evergreen next to the stop for the kids to find.  Eventually the tree gets filled with mittens.

So, my sister who is a "room mom" brought in a little evergreen tree for the kids to come and deposit their donated mittens on.  She was told to take it down because it looked too much like a Christmas tree.  Instead the kids just through their mittens in a paper bag.  

 :-\



When my daughter was eight or nine (back in the 1990-s), and studying at a very politically correct public school in Seattle, they had a "winter holiday play" that did not include anything that could hint to a European or North American winter. The stage was decorated as the jungle, and the kids were dancing, wearing loincloth. They sang something about hunting lions (or maybe preserving lions, I don't quite remember). Then an adult teacher stepped in and told the auditorium that in different countries people have different names for their winter holiday, but it's still the same thing. Then the kids danced again in their loincloth, and shook their spears, singing something about leopards etc. Then they played a record of Elton John singing "The Circle of Life" from the "Lion King" Disney movie. That was all.


I just showed this to a friend of mine and his only reaction was, "&*#$ing WHITE PEOPLE!"

He's white.
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Offline vamrat

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Re: Politically Correct Nativity
« Reply #14 on: December 23, 2010, 12:36:19 PM »
I heard that they won't be able to have a Nativity Scene in Washington DC this year.  It's not really a matter of PC or anything like that, it's just that they can't find three wise men or a virgin.

I first heard that joke in about fourth grade or so, about forty five years ago and I can't post to what ethnic group it was directed at that time. Seemed funny then, but I was ten and it wouldn't be PC to restate the original! lol

I never heard any ethnic versions of this joke.  I think I read it second hand attributing it to Jay Leno.  Oh well.  I still think it's funny.  Even if Jay Leno might have repeated it at some point...
Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt.