I’m not sure what I should do-here a little background.
Let me start in the beginning-I was born and raised in Ukraine and while my family wasn’t religious, I always had reference for God and his worship. When I came to US some years ago, I kind of wanted to attend church but my ex-husband wasn’t religious and I felt strange going by myself. Fast forward to present day-I remarried someone who is Christian and regular church attender. I thought this would be the change I was looking for and when he asked me to go to his church, I went. I’m calling it Evangelical with Charismatic overtones, because I’m just not sure what to call it. Over the last 3 years of attending the said church I became completely dissatisfied with pretty much everything there and that lead me to OC. I’ve been attending for only few months but I feel like this is where I belong. I finally am able to worship God the way He should be and that feels wonderful. What is not wonderful is my situation with my husband. When I first told him about me wanting to try OC, we had a terrible argument where he accused me of wanting to be “Catholic” and following superstitions and rituals. When I tried to explain to him about what OC is, he seemingly came down-as long as its not “Catholic” he was ok with me going sometime. However, the way I feel now, I don’t really want to go to my old church but I have been alternating it with OC for my husband’s sake.
Now, he has never been inside OC before so I’m sure if he saw the liturgy he would just have a heart attack so I never never invited him to go. Should I just do what I have been doing so far(going to my old church couple of times a month)? Because I have tried to talk to my husband but he is in “don’t ask, don’t tell” mode.
I’m just really unhappy about all I have to witness in my old church-the place looks like someone’s conference room, there is same old tired sermon, only rock music is sung there, no praying, and what bothers me the most, no reverence of any kind. Last communion they had(its about once a month), they just passed around grape juice and wafers and I saw lot of people discarding it, without even drinking it. I feel like most people there(I know most of them well, it’s a small church) claim Christianity as their religion but don’t even follow it, and majority only come for socializing. Its always been very casual about pretty much everything but I feel like they have taken it to whole new level. One of the ladies there is my close friend and she knows how I feel but even with her, she admits that the church has problems but “how can we abandon it”. Oh, and my mother in law is devoted charismatic who attends same church, and can’t finish one sentence without mentioning “how she was lead by Jesus” to do something. She doesn’t know anything about OC, other than I’ve gone there and thinks its just another Protestant church. Don’t get me wrong-she is good woman and I love her dearly but if I “officially” leave, I’m not sure what’s going to happen with my family.