Author Topic: Godparent dilemma  (Read 1149 times)

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Offline mike

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Godparent dilemma
« on: November 10, 2010, 03:07:45 PM »
I have been asked by my cousin to be a godfather of her newborn daughter. The problem is that I don't know whether I am capable of bearing such a responsibility. She lives in a mixed marriage, I hardly know her and I have seen her maybe 4 times in my entire life. I am not sure whether I be able to keep such a contact a godfather should keep with their godchild.

What would you do if you were me? I can answer till Thursday evening (about 25 hours since now).

edit: And I am not a model of a good Christian too<the truth trying to look like humility>.
« Last Edit: November 10, 2010, 03:09:40 PM by Michał Kalina »

Offline SolEX01

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2010, 03:09:28 PM »
I would say that I do not baptize my relatives.

Offline mike

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2010, 03:12:58 PM »
I would say that I do not baptize my relatives.

We have common great-grandparents. It's a tradition in Poland to choose godparent from distant relatives.
« Last Edit: November 10, 2010, 03:13:16 PM by Michał Kalina »

Offline SolEX01

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2010, 03:18:18 PM »
I would say that I do not baptize my relatives.

We have common great-grandparents. It's a tradition in Poland to choose godparent from distant relatives.

Tradition, yes.

Obligation, no.

So, there is no obligation for you to continue tradition.  She's your second cousin; if you don't know her that well, you're under no obligation to baptize her child.

Offline mike

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2010, 03:31:24 PM »
I should also add that denying such a request is considered to be a grave insult to the parents...

Offline ialmisry

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2010, 03:34:02 PM »
I have been asked by my cousin to be a godfather of her newborn daughter. The problem is that I don't know whether I am capable of bearing such a responsibility. She lives in a mixed marriage, I hardly know her and I have seen her maybe 4 times in my entire life. I am not sure whether I be able to keep such a contact a godfather should keep with their godchild.

What would you do if you were me? I can answer till Thursday evening (about 25 hours since now).

edit: And I am not a model of a good Christian too<the truth trying to look like humility>.
She is in a mixed marriage, but baptizing the child Orthodox? Knowing what I know about Poles, that would seem to be a statement.  If so, I'd go for it.

or is she not baptizing her Orthodox. Then that's a different question.

Do you know why she picked you? Do you have any other relatives closer (sounds like Boaz in Ruth).
Question a friend, perhaps he did not do it; but if he did anything so that he may do it no more.
A hasty quarrel kindles fire,
and urgent strife sheds blood.
If you blow on a spark, it will glow;
if you spit on it, it will be put out;
                           and both come out of your mouth

Offline mike

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #6 on: November 10, 2010, 03:44:27 PM »
If course she is baptising her Orthodox.

My father was a godfather of her, maybe it is an issue? Or maybe she knows I am engaged is some activies of the Church? Or maybe because of mine part of the family generally speaking standing on a higher social position that hers (not much but anyway) and they want to keep contact with us because of that? Or all those things altogether? Or maybe another one reason? I'll ask them tomorrow.

Offline ialmisry

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2010, 03:50:31 PM »
If course she is baptising her Orthodox.

My father was a godfather of hers, maybe it is an issue? Or maybe she knows I am engaged is some activies of the Church? Or maybe because of my part of the family generally speaking standing on a higher social position that hers (not much but anyway) and they want to keep contact with us because of that? Or all those things altogether? Or maybe another one reason? I'll ask them tomorrow.
What religion does the father/husband profess?
Question a friend, perhaps he did not do it; but if he did anything so that he may do it no more.
A hasty quarrel kindles fire,
and urgent strife sheds blood.
If you blow on a spark, it will glow;
if you spit on it, it will be put out;
                           and both come out of your mouth

Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #8 on: November 10, 2010, 04:37:05 PM »

I have heard it is an insult to God, Himself, to refuse to be a godparent to an individual being baptized into the Orthodox Faith.

You never know....you might be a bigger influence on this child than you think.

Even correspondence is important.  You don't have to physically be with her, to influence her.

How much "good" do we reap from reading other's posts on this Web (not even thinking of all the other Orthodox sites on the Web).
I, for one, have learned much about my Faith just from reading other's works.

So, simply by corresponding with her...and showing her you love her...she will be open to what you have to say - by pen if not by word.

It's a great honor and responsibility to be a godparent.  I know that I have done many things in this life since becoming a godparent, that I would never have thought I would be capable of doing.  You find a strength and a perseverance you didn't know you possessed.  God not only helps the child, but, the godparent, as well!

My opinion - go for it!  Do even what little you can to help that little girl grow into a good Orthodox woman!  Be her example!  Let her know you love her....and she will emulate your good deeds!

Conquer evil men by your gentle kindness, and make zealous men wonder at your goodness. Put the lover of legality to shame by your compassion. With the afflicted be afflicted in mind. Love all men, but keep distant from all men.
—St. Isaac of Syria

Offline ialmisry

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #9 on: November 10, 2010, 04:47:10 PM »

I have heard it is an insult to God, Himself, to refuse to be a godparent to an individual being baptized into the Orthodox Faith.

You never know....you might be a bigger influence on this child than you think.

Even correspondence is important.  You don't have to physically be with her, to influence her.

How much "good" do we reap from reading other's posts on this Web (not even thinking of all the other Orthodox sites on the Web).
I, for one, have learned much about my Faith just from reading other's works.

So, simply by corresponding with her...and showing her you love her...she will be open to what you have to say - by pen if not by word.

It's a great honor and responsibility to be a godparent.  I know that I have done many things in this life since becoming a godparent, that I would never have thought I would be capable of doing.  You find a strength and a perseverance you didn't know you possessed.  God not only helps the child, but, the godparent, as well!

My opinion - go for it!  Do even what little you can to help that little girl grow into a good Orthodox woman!  Be her example!  Let her know you love her....and she will emulate your good deeds!


spot on!

I know someone who is now in an Orthodox monastery, who long before his conversion to Orthodoxy used to argue on a forum with an Orthodox in South Africa. The Orthodox arguments, he told me, haunted him until they led him to Orthodoxy, many years after he last had contact with the South African.  He looked him up before entering the monastery, to update him on his embrace of Orthodoxy.  The South Africa's responded "REALLY?"

You never know.  As long as your cousin allows you to plant seeds of Faith, I'd agree.
Question a friend, perhaps he did not do it; but if he did anything so that he may do it no more.
A hasty quarrel kindles fire,
and urgent strife sheds blood.
If you blow on a spark, it will glow;
if you spit on it, it will be put out;
                           and both come out of your mouth

Offline quietmorning

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #10 on: November 10, 2010, 07:43:17 PM »
What would I do?  I would be her God parent, and knowing that I am born of Spirit - which is higher than the dust/flesh/blood I am made out of I would pray for this dear child every moment - every single moment I could afford to as this is MY CHILD.  I would love her as Christ loves us - near and through the heart.  You never know what tomorrow might bring - today is only a representation of today.
In His Mercy,
BethAnna

Offline mike

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #11 on: November 10, 2010, 08:28:18 PM »
What religion does the father/husband profess?

He is a RC.

Offline ialmisry

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #12 on: November 10, 2010, 08:58:15 PM »
What religion does the father/husband profess?

He is a RC.

Then I would definitely accept. Not out of hatred for the RC, but since she is baptizing the girl in a milieu where that is against the grain, and baptizing her RC would be the easy way out, she is definitely making a commitment, and asking you might help see it through.
Question a friend, perhaps he did not do it; but if he did anything so that he may do it no more.
A hasty quarrel kindles fire,
and urgent strife sheds blood.
If you blow on a spark, it will glow;
if you spit on it, it will be put out;
                           and both come out of your mouth

Offline mike

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #13 on: November 12, 2010, 03:48:59 PM »
I've agreed.

Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #14 on: November 12, 2010, 04:16:41 PM »
 :D

...you made the right choice!

The little girl will be lucky to have you as a godfather!

Many years to you both!
Conquer evil men by your gentle kindness, and make zealous men wonder at your goodness. Put the lover of legality to shame by your compassion. With the afflicted be afflicted in mind. Love all men, but keep distant from all men.
—St. Isaac of Syria

Offline mike

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #15 on: November 12, 2010, 04:32:53 PM »
Thanks, lol. It is taking place on 4th December. I'll try to post some pictures.

Offline SolEX01

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #16 on: November 12, 2010, 06:01:59 PM »
I've agreed.

Congratulations!!

Forgive me for having offered a contrarian opinion.   :angel:

Offline mike

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #17 on: November 12, 2010, 07:20:15 PM »
Forgive me for having offered a contrarian opinion.   :angel:

No offence taken. LOL.

Offline Father H

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #18 on: November 12, 2010, 07:27:25 PM »
:D

...you made the right choice!

The little girl will be lucky to have you as a godfather!

Many years to you both!


Agreed, you made the right choice.  Congratulations

Offline ialmisry

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #19 on: November 12, 2010, 08:17:31 PM »
Question a friend, perhaps he did not do it; but if he did anything so that he may do it no more.
A hasty quarrel kindles fire,
and urgent strife sheds blood.
If you blow on a spark, it will glow;
if you spit on it, it will be put out;
                           and both come out of your mouth

Offline Father H

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #20 on: November 14, 2010, 09:51:15 PM »
Michal,
You don't know HOW this is going to touch those involved, but it will.   I am writing again because I don't want to UNDER-EMPHASIZE that you have done the right thing.  
« Last Edit: November 14, 2010, 09:52:03 PM by FatherHLL »

Offline quietmorning

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Re: Godparent dilemma
« Reply #21 on: November 14, 2010, 10:43:54 PM »
Blessed be to God!!!  Many years!!!! 
In His Mercy,
BethAnna