Author Topic: what is confession supposed to be like?  (Read 2367 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Bob L.

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 25
what is confession supposed to be like?
« on: November 04, 2010, 04:12:20 PM »
I feel like I need someone who will listen to me and give me advice in addition to the confession of sins.  Confession in our church is just a minute or two for each person before the Divine Liturgy on Sunday.  I am curious if that is typical for confession.

Offline katherineofdixie

  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 3,718
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #1 on: November 04, 2010, 04:22:07 PM »
You can always make an appointment with your priest, to discuss things further and receive his counsel.
"If but ten of us lead a holy life, we shall kindle a fire which shall light up the entire city."

 St. John Chrysostom

Offline Aindriú

  • Faster! Funnier!
  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 3,918
    • Blog
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #2 on: November 04, 2010, 04:22:13 PM »
I feel like I need someone who will listen to me and give me advice in addition to the confession of sins.  Confession in our church is just a minute or two for each person before the Divine Liturgy on Sunday.  I am curious if that is typical for confession.

Have you talked to your priest about it? He is probably willing to set an appointment with you for spiritual guidance.

I'm going to need this.

Offline LizaSymonenko

  • Слава Ісусу Христу!!! Glory to Jesus Christ!!!
  • Global Moderator
  • Toumarches
  • ******
  • Posts: 14,026
    • St.Mary the Protectress Ukrainian Orthodox Cathedral
  • Faith: Eastern Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Ukrainian Orthodox Church of the U.S.A.
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #3 on: November 04, 2010, 04:44:43 PM »

If Vespers is served Saturday evening, you might ask your priest to hear your confession afterwards.  This will give you some added time and privacy.
Conquer evil men by your gentle kindness, and make zealous men wonder at your goodness. Put the lover of legality to shame by your compassion. With the afflicted be afflicted in mind. Love all men, but keep distant from all men.
—St. Isaac of Syria

Offline Carl Kraeff (Second Chance)

  • Taxiarches
  • **********
  • Posts: 7,557
  • Faith: Orthodox Christian
  • Jurisdiction: Diocese of the South (OCA)
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #4 on: November 04, 2010, 04:49:36 PM »
This may be as dangerous as online dating, but I have seen some folks' questions answered quite well on this forum.

Offline Iconodule

  • Uranopolitan
  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 8,010
  • "My god is greater."
  • Faith: Orthodox Christian
  • Jurisdiction: Ecumenical Patriarchate (ACROD)
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #5 on: November 04, 2010, 05:31:06 PM »
I once had a confession where the priest just gave a list of sins, i.e. "perhaps you did x, perhaps you did y..." And you could say "yes" or "no" to each one, and he moved on. I wonder if this is common anywhere.

Offline Bob L.

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 25
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #6 on: November 04, 2010, 06:28:49 PM »
The only service we have is Divine Liturgy.  I have attempted to talk to our priest 2 or 3 times on the phone since being baptized last year, but in most cases it hasn't been very helpful.  He's nice but it always seems like he just says "oh don't worry about it everybody has these problems ..."  Sometimes I feel relieved that he doesn't think my problems are big, but usually I feel like he just doesn't care much.  I was thinking about switching to a larger church about 60 minutes away, but that doesn't seem right.  I like the parish and the priest very much, and would not want to switch.

I've had some very weird supernatural things happen to me.  They don't scare me much, but my sense of reality has been seriously disturbed.  I was comfortably atheist and now I guess I am a Christian, but I feel very suspicious.

Offline katherineofdixie

  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 3,718
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2010, 02:41:21 PM »
I once had a confession where the priest just gave a list of sins, i.e. "perhaps you did x, perhaps you did y..." And you could say "yes" or "no" to each one, and he moved on. I wonder if this is common anywhere.

I don't think it's common. Perhaps a way to get the ball rolling, so to speak?
"If but ten of us lead a holy life, we shall kindle a fire which shall light up the entire city."

 St. John Chrysostom

Offline katherineofdixie

  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 3,718
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #8 on: November 05, 2010, 02:42:29 PM »
The only service we have is Divine Liturgy.  I have attempted to talk to our priest 2 or 3 times on the phone since being baptized last year, but in most cases it hasn't been very helpful.  He's nice but it always seems like he just says "oh don't worry about it everybody has these problems ..."  Sometimes I feel relieved that he doesn't think my problems are big, but usually I feel like he just doesn't care much.  I was thinking about switching to a larger church about 60 minutes away, but that doesn't seem right.  I like the parish and the priest very much, and would not want to switch.

I've had some very weird supernatural things happen to me.  They don't scare me much, but my sense of reality has been seriously disturbed.  I was comfortably atheist and now I guess I am a Christian, but I feel very suspicious.

Give him a call and tell him you would like to schedule a time, at his convenience, to talk with him.
"If but ten of us lead a holy life, we shall kindle a fire which shall light up the entire city."

 St. John Chrysostom

Offline tomowapig

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 51
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #9 on: November 05, 2010, 04:16:36 PM »
I think the suggestions offered above are good ones.

At the other extreme, I once had a priest who would hear confessions after Vespers.  It would often take 2-3 *hours* (yes, you read that correctly!) for him to hear the confessions of only 2-4 people.  Was this because we all had so very many sins to confess?  Nope.  Was it because he was offering sage wisdom for extremely troubled people?  Nope.  (Well, maybe a little bit.  Sometimes)  Mainly it was because he was telling stories from his life.  Wow!  Interesting, but that poor sinner who was last that evening to confess... :'(!

Offline Aindriú

  • Faster! Funnier!
  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 3,918
    • Blog
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #10 on: November 05, 2010, 04:18:31 PM »
I think the suggestions offered above are good ones.

At the other extreme, I once had a priest who would hear confessions after Vespers.  It would often take 2-3 *hours* (yes, you read that correctly!) for him to hear the confessions of only 2-4 people.  Was this because we all had so very many sins to confess?  Nope.  Was it because he was offering sage wisdom for extremely troubled people?  Nope.  (Well, maybe a little bit.  Sometimes)  Mainly it was because he was telling stories from his life.  Wow!  Interesting, but that poor sinner who was last that evening to confess... :'(!

Penance.

"Stop sinning and you won't have to listen to my stories anymore!"  ;D

I'm going to need this.

Offline tomowapig

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 51
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2010, 04:46:58 PM »
Wow!  Why didn't I think of that? ;D

Offline Thomas

  • Moderator
  • Archon
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,890
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #12 on: November 05, 2010, 10:45:26 PM »
Bob where do you reside? Perhaps there is monastery or other parish priest you could consult about confession.

THOMAS
Your brother in Christ ,
Thomas

Online Justin Kissel

  • Protospatharios
  • ****************
  • Posts: 32,768
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #13 on: November 06, 2010, 02:57:01 AM »
It's not typical in my experience, but my experience is limisted to three or four priests over the years, and mainly just one in particular. My priest and I usually take about an hour in confession. I also talk to him in his office in non-confession situations, which is also helpful.

Offline Michał

  • ['mi:hɑʊ]
  • High Elder
  • ******
  • Posts: 824
  • "Mother of God, Virgin, by God glorified Mary..."
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #14 on: November 06, 2010, 07:25:28 AM »
Bob L., maybe try to find a monastery in which confession is combined with spiritual guidance and make sure to go there once every few months. Some monasteries also offer spiritual advising via phone, especially in emergency cases.

Offline Alive

  • High Elder
  • ******
  • Posts: 514
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #15 on: November 06, 2010, 07:46:54 AM »
I feel like I need someone who will listen to me and give me advice in addition to the confession of sins.  Confession in our church is just a minute or two for each person before the Divine Liturgy on Sunday.  I am curious if that is typical for confession.
Depending what you call “typical”.
If you have no “spiritual father” ( and it is hard to find one I reality and 99.9% Christian do not have one) , it is typical.

You need some one listen to you? God listen.
You need advise – it is deferent story.
It is could be very personal and depending on what kind advise. Some advise common, some not.


Offline Bob L.

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 25
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #16 on: November 06, 2010, 10:41:20 AM »
Bob where do you reside? Perhaps there is monastery or other parish priest you could consult about confession.

THOMAS

I'm about an hour from Houston and there is a monastery in Kendalia about 6 hours from me.  Would it be reasonable for me to make an appointment with a priest from another church for a conversation (not a confession)?

Offline Heorhij

  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 8,576
    • Mississippi University for Women
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #17 on: November 06, 2010, 12:12:36 PM »
I once had a confession where the priest just gave a list of sins, i.e. "perhaps you did x, perhaps you did y..." And you could say "yes" or "no" to each one, and he moved on. I wonder if this is common anywhere.

I saw this in one Ukrainian Autocephalous Orthodox Church parish in Kyiv, Ukraine. Kyiv parishes are gigantic, and there is always a long line of those who want to confess (partially because they won't commune anyone who did not confess the same day or the evening before). So the priest listens to the penitent for half-minute or so, and then just quickly asks, have you done (or failed to do) this and this and that.
Love never fails.

Offline Thomas

  • Moderator
  • Archon
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,890
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #18 on: November 06, 2010, 12:33:50 PM »
In the southeast Texas area there are many Greek & Antiochian priests whom i am aware of being very good confessors, some of the are: Beaumont TX-father Michael Pavez [AOCNA],Houston- Father John Salem [AOCNA], Father James Early [AOCNA],Father Anthony Baba [AOCNA], Fr. Anastasios Raptis [GOAA], Fr. Michael Lambakis [GOAA].

THOMAS
Your brother in Christ ,
Thomas

Offline Bob L.

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 25
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #19 on: November 06, 2010, 02:12:18 PM »
In the southeast Texas area there are many Greek & Antiochian priests whom i am aware of being very good confessors, some of the are: Beaumont TX-father Michael Pavez [AOCNA],Houston- Father John Salem [AOCNA], Father James Early [AOCNA],Father Anthony Baba [AOCNA], Fr. Anastasios Raptis [GOAA], Fr. Michael Lambakis [GOAA].

THOMAS

Thanks, I had been thinking of visiting either St. Joseph or St. George Antiochian in Houston.  Hopefully I will figure something out.

Offline Alive

  • High Elder
  • ******
  • Posts: 514
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #20 on: November 06, 2010, 08:30:39 PM »


I saw this in one Ukrainian Autocephalous Orthodox Church parish in Kyiv, Ukraine.


It is not church, it is pagans, - Nazi. There is not Goodnes nor God.
Most people not go for confection there any way. It is just form of paganism ritual for self esteem rising.

Offline Thomas

  • Moderator
  • Archon
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,890
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #21 on: November 08, 2010, 10:09:21 AM »


I saw this in one Ukrainian Autocephalous Orthodox Church parish in Kyiv, Ukraine.


It is not church, it is pagans, - Nazi. There is not Goodnes nor God.
Most people not go for confection there any way. It is just form of paganism ritual for self esteem rising.


Please stay on Topic, your comments about this particular Church has nothing to do with this topic "what is confession supposed to be like".

Thank you for staying on topic in the future.

Thomas
Convert Issues Forum Moderator
Your brother in Christ ,
Thomas

Offline Tikhon.of.Colorado

  • Site Supporter
  • Archon
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,375
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #22 on: November 08, 2010, 11:40:18 AM »
I think it depends on the parish size, and the priest.  for example, there are never more than 35-40 people at DL in my parish.  most of them are elderly, so they confess at the weekday liturgies.  at vespers, about 3 people a week confess.  so, we have those who are there for 15 minutes confessing, and those who are there for about 2-3 minutes. I thank God for my priest.  he gives us councel and advice at confession.

perhapse you should find a smaller parish, or a different confessor?

Offline Bob L.

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 25
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #23 on: November 08, 2010, 06:36:56 PM »
I think it depends on the parish size, and the priest.  for example, there are never more than 35-40 people at DL in my parish.  most of them are elderly, so they confess at the weekday liturgies.  at vespers, about 3 people a week confess.  so, we have those who are there for 15 minutes confessing, and those who are there for about 2-3 minutes. I thank God for my priest.  he gives us councel and advice at confession.

perhapse you should find a smaller parish, or a different confessor?

Thanks, our parish sounds similar in size to yours, but we don't have anything but the Sunday liturgy.  Every other week or so there will be 2 or 3 people doing the short 5 minute confessions.

Offline Tikhon.of.Colorado

  • Site Supporter
  • Archon
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,375
Re: what is confession supposed to be like?
« Reply #24 on: November 08, 2010, 06:46:03 PM »
I think it depends on the parish size, and the priest.  for example, there are never more than 35-40 people at DL in my parish.  most of them are elderly, so they confess at the weekday liturgies.  at vespers, about 3 people a week confess.  so, we have those who are there for 15 minutes confessing, and those who are there for about 2-3 minutes. I thank God for my priest.  he gives us councel and advice at confession.

perhapse you should find a smaller parish, or a different confessor?

Thanks, our parish sounds similar in size to yours, but we don't have anything but the Sunday liturgy.  Every other week or so there will be 2 or 3 people doing the short 5 minute confessions.

I see.  there is a Greek Orthodox parish about 1 block from my Church.  they also have this situation.  when I asked, one woman told me that she calls Father ahead the night before and tells him to be there 10-15 minutes earlier to Church to hear her confession.  perhaps try this.  of course, I'm sure if you spoke to your priest, he would hear your confession after D-Liturgy, too.  good luck!