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Author Topic: Finally got whole family to Divine Liturgy  (Read 784 times) Average Rating: 0
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Stepan
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« on: October 19, 2010, 09:32:25 AM »

A couple of weeks ago, my son and I visited the locla Antiochian parish. Son loved it and I was refreshed. As I've mentioned we've been attending a catholic parish in part because my wife just isn't in favor of Orthodoxy.

However as we were getting ready to head off to the local RC parish my son chimes in that he wants to go back to the Orthodox church. I shared my son's thoughts expressed a couple of weeks ago and asked that she at least vist. This expanded into a converstaion in which I told her that I really don't want to be Roman Catholic. I did tell her that, while it would certainly be preferable to have the entire family together, I don't want to be RC and she doesn't want to be Orthodox so we may have little choice than to attend seperate churches. The question of our son came up and I told her that he has expressed a desire to attend the Orthodox church. with that she said she would follow us to the Orthdox church.

Problem is, I know the only reason she is going down this path is becase she doesn't want to split the family between churches. While I am happy that conversion to Orthodoxy is within my reach, I am not quite as happy that she is not coming along out of a desire to be Orthodox. She attended service but begrudgingly.

Not sure how to handle this - thoughts?
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Carl Kraeff (Second Chance)
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« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2010, 10:53:31 AM »

Do you know why she is not in favor of Orthodoxy? It seems to me that your approach should be predicated on her reasons. That said, this situation may not be that unusual if the following essay is right, especially the fourth and fifth paragraphs: http://www.frederica.com/facing-east-excerpt-1/.
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Stepan
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« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2010, 11:18:04 AM »

Do you know why she is not in favor of Orthodoxy? It seems to me that your approach should be predicated on her reasons. That said, this situation may not be that unusual if the following essay is right, especially the fourth and fifth paragraphs: http://www.frederica.com/facing-east-excerpt-1/.


Kind of a combination of things....1)leans towards modern praise and worship style churches, 2)doesn't want to celebrate Christmas on a different date, 3) doesn't want to stand through the duration of worship, 4) had a coworker who was an Orthodox convert that was (in her words) rather legalistic in his observances.

Those are the big ones. However, the Antiochan parish uses the new calendar so Christmas is Dec. 25th. In addition the parish has pews. I know her desire to become catholic was mostly because we have a number of friends who are catholic though I know she misses the charismatic church we were members of when we got married.

This is the parish, BTW  http://www.stelijahokc.com/

So I pray that she will approach this with an open mind and open heart. In the mean time I pray that God will keep peace in our home.

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.
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Michał
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« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2010, 11:41:12 AM »

Stepan, have thought of attending a Western rite parish? The one in Oklahoma City (http://www.standreworthodox.info) is on the new calendar and has chairs. Maybe your wife, as a person who wanted to become a Roman Catholic (i.e., a Western rite Christian), would be more sympathetic to it.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2010, 11:42:03 AM by Michał » Logged
Stepan
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« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2010, 12:13:37 PM »

Stepan, have thought of attending a Western rite parish? The one in Oklahoma City (http://www.standreworthodox.info) is on the new calendar and has chairs. Maybe your wife, as a person who wanted to become a Roman Catholic (i.e., a Western rite Christian), would be more sympathetic to it.

Thanks for the suggestion.

Really it isn't the liturgy that is the issue (as far as I know). It more has to do with her circle of friends - most are RC. I had briefly considered St. Andrews (I actually met the priest when they were still with the Charismatic Episcopal Church - nice guy) but really don't believe that would be a good place for us for a number of reasons (which would entail a long story that probably wouldn't make much sense anyway  Tongue ).

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tuesdayschild
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« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2010, 12:25:26 PM »

Stepan, have thought of attending a Western rite parish? The one in Oklahoma City (http://www.standreworthodox.info) is on the new calendar and has chairs. Maybe your wife, as a person who wanted to become a Roman Catholic (i.e., a Western rite Christian), would be more sympathetic to it.

There are two Western Rite parishes in in Oklahoma City?
http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,29658.msg483099.html#msg483099

Their OKCup runneth over.
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Stepan
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« Reply #6 on: October 19, 2010, 12:33:08 PM »

Stepan, have thought of attending a Western rite parish? The one in Oklahoma City (http://www.standreworthodox.info) is on the new calendar and has chairs. Maybe your wife, as a person who wanted to become a Roman Catholic (i.e., a Western rite Christian), would be more sympathetic to it.

There are two Western Rite parishes in in Oklahoma City?
http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,29658.msg483099.html#msg483099

Their OKCup runneth over..

Yeah, when I began looking to Orthodoxy, I was really surprised at the number of Orthodox churches here in the middle of the Southern Baptist country . Antiochian, Russian, Greek, Ukranian, 2 western rite parishes. There are also a couple of oriental orthodox churches as well. Who would have thought?
« Last Edit: October 19, 2010, 12:36:35 PM by Stepan » Logged
Stepan
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« Reply #7 on: October 19, 2010, 12:37:23 PM »

I may have to reconsider WRO should that become a barrier.
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Michał
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« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2010, 12:46:17 PM »


The ROCOR one is actually bi-ritual.
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katherineofdixie
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« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2010, 04:31:27 PM »

Kind of a combination of things....1)leans towards modern praise and worship style churches, 2)doesn't want to celebrate Christmas on a different date, 3) doesn't want to stand through the duration of worship, 4) had a coworker who was an Orthodox convert that was (in her words) rather legalistic in his observances.
Many parishes celebrate Christmas according to the new calendar - mine does also.

As well, while standing is our custom and tradition, many parishes also have (gasp!) pews, and the standing gets easier with practice. As long as you stand when appropriate, such as for the Gospel, no one should have a problem with anyone sitting down. (They shouldn't be paying attention anyway!  Wink).

The Orthodox coworker may have "needed" to be rather "legalistic" in his observance - we can't really know the state of another person's heart or soul - as Blessed Theophan observed, we should "see to ourselves and our own sins." That said, "legalism" is often in the eye of the beholder. It may seem legalistic to a non-Orthodox person for me to fast on Wednesdays and Fridays, when it's really a necessary discipline that helps keep me focused and aware.

(As a reformed "praise" singer myself, I have to say that one of the things that set me on my search was the "mile-wide and inch-deep" praise songs. There seemed to be no place for sadness or struggle in them.)
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« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2010, 06:29:02 PM »

Problem is, I know the only reason she is going down this path is becase she doesn't want to split the family between churches. While I am happy that conversion to Orthodoxy is within my reach, I am not quite as happy that she is not coming along out of a desire to be Orthodox. She attended service but begrudgingly.

Not sure how to handle this - thoughts?

I wouldn't be too unhappy that she is going to keep her family together.  Perhaps increased exposure to Orthodoxy will help her acclimate and come to terms with whatever she has a problem with.
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Stepan
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« Reply #11 on: October 20, 2010, 09:43:38 AM »

I wouldn't be too unhappy that she is going to keep her family together.  Perhaps increased exposure to Orthodoxy will help her acclimate and come to terms with whatever she has a problem with.

I guess I am just aware that at times she grows weary running along side someone who refuses to rest in one place for long. Since my teens I have had a deep seated belief that someting wasn't right with the Christian faith as I had been raised to understand it. She has followed me from Charismatic churches to Baptist churches to Calvinisti Churches to Anglican churches to Lutheran Churches.

I was exposed to Orthodoxy as an Anglican and it has stuck with me since. I have put off pursuing it because of her not being in favor of it but realized that I just couldn't go through joining the RCC (which we have discussed since deciding we just didn't have a place in protestantism any longer).

I know it hasn't been easy for her and I pray that she can take this last step home with me.

Lord have mercy on us....
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