Officially becoming a catechumen in the Orthodox Church, it has been made clear to me that I will be baptized (my new name being Thomas), as opposed to simply being chrismated. My question is, what will this mean, in a spiritual or theological sense? I stress a great deal about my life of the past 7 years, during which I committed a great multitude of sins, proudly and willingly. Those sins can't be reversed or justified. They weigh on my mind constantly. I do understand that the Lord Our God is all-merciful, all-just and long-suffering, but what does a new baptism mean to me exactly? Would it be the washing of those sins as well? Or should I accept those sins in rightful guilt, being thankful only that that life led me back to God, back to Our Lord Jesus Christ? I am indeed thankful that I was led to the Church from that life, that the guilt of those sins serves a purpose and that I wouldn't be here in Holy Orthodoxy without them, but what does a new baptism mean for me? I am theologically ignorant on that topic.
Thank you much for your answers! Christ is risen!