Author Topic: Very angry  (Read 1244 times)

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Offline StGeorge

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Very angry
« on: September 03, 2010, 07:11:11 PM »
I'm having a lot of internal anger.  It's really destroying me on the inside, and it's tied in with a lot of pain, past and present, related to my circumstances.  It also seems to be responsible for my physical pain and stiffness in my back and elsewhere.

Could you please pray that God take the anger away from me and that God heal me of evil memories so that my body heals subsequently?  

I've been reading a series of (non-Orthodox but good) books on how our thoughts and repressed ANGER, ANXIETY, FEAR and SHAME can result in actual physical bodily symptoms of chronic pain and stiffness.  I think this hits the target for me, since the doctors don't really know what's wrong with me.  

I'm feeling a lot of anger towards God and the saints, and towards other people, for not helping or be able to help me with constant pain for years, and even for sometimes adding to the pain.  

I've confessed my anger during confession but haven't noticed anything different.  It's not ON-THE-SPOT anger but is as though stored within me and cannot be dispersed but only accumulates.  
« Last Edit: September 03, 2010, 07:13:03 PM by StGeorge »

Offline Quinault

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2010, 07:30:14 PM »
I understand what you mean. I have always struggled with anger. Once I tackled my anger with other people I allowed my anger to turn inward to myself. Remember that being angry with yourself for being angry at others is extremely unhealthy too. I have found the Jesus prayer extremely helpful in this area.

Lord, have mercy!

Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2010, 07:36:38 PM »

I'm sorry to hear this. 
Don't get angry...have pity for those who can, but aren't helping...for God is taking notes.

Lord, have mercy!
Conquer evil men by your gentle kindness, and make zealous men wonder at your goodness. Put the lover of legality to shame by your compassion. With the afflicted be afflicted in mind. Love all men, but keep distant from all men.
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Offline IXOYE

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #3 on: September 03, 2010, 08:35:17 PM »
Lord have mercy!

Offline elijahmaria

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #4 on: September 03, 2010, 09:21:53 PM »
I'm having a lot of internal anger.  It's really destroying me on the inside, and it's tied in with a lot of pain, past and present, related to my circumstances.  It also seems to be responsible for my physical pain and stiffness in my back and elsewhere.

Could you please pray that God take the anger away from me and that God heal me of evil memories so that my body heals subsequently?  

I've been reading a series of (non-Orthodox but good) books on how our thoughts and repressed ANGER, ANXIETY, FEAR and SHAME can result in actual physical bodily symptoms of chronic pain and stiffness.  I think this hits the target for me, since the doctors don't really know what's wrong with me.  

I'm feeling a lot of anger towards God and the saints, and towards other people, for not helping or be able to help me with constant pain for years, and even for sometimes adding to the pain.  

I've confessed my anger during confession but haven't noticed anything different.  It's not ON-THE-SPOT anger but is as though stored within me and cannot be dispersed but only accumulates.  

Have you seen a nutritionist, and has anyone spoken to you about fasting as the one sure cure for anger?

I suffer from fully compressed disks and sciatica and am in constant pain and do not medicate because I think the consequences of pain medications are worse than the pain in the long run, and I'd like to make the long run if I am able.

I have noticed that diet is very important and especially if you are going to fast strictly as a spiritual medicine.  A prayer discipline helps as well. 

Very often panic and anxiety are caused by deep seated anger.  Your caregiver seems to have already told you that your own body could be toxic from the emotions that you harbor.  That is why I suggest a nutritionist.  I don't use a whole lot of supplements.  I eat mostly wholefoods, little meat-mostly broths, fish and nothing processed, including most drinks that are packaged outside of my house.  I have one tea that I will buy and drink occasionally.  All the supplements I use are easily available and not expensive at all. 

Well...I'll leave it at that and ask for Jesus to bring you healing and peace.

Offline Heorhij

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #5 on: September 03, 2010, 09:22:05 PM »
Lord, have mercy!

I do understand you, too. People generally call me a very soft-natured person - I am always smiling, and I am nice to others, etc. But there are certain things (related to situation in my country of birth) that always stir emotions in me, including the emotion of anger. In this highly emotional state, I can say things to people that probably ought not be said. Later, I might console myself that I was fighting for the "right cause" (and perhaps I was), but these emotions hurt people and they also hurt and destroy me.

There is one very strong prayer to the Theotokos where we ask Her to "banish from us... despondency, forgetfulness, folly, carelessness..." and to "deliver us from many cruel memories and deeds, freeing us from their bad effects." It looks like the Church knows that She can help us in that, with Her holy and most powerful prayers.
Love never fails.

Offline StGeorge

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2010, 09:35:08 PM »
I'm having a lot of internal anger.  It's really destroying me on the inside, and it's tied in with a lot of pain, past and present, related to my circumstances.  It also seems to be responsible for my physical pain and stiffness in my back and elsewhere.

Could you please pray that God take the anger away from me and that God heal me of evil memories so that my body heals subsequently?  

I've been reading a series of (non-Orthodox but good) books on how our thoughts and repressed ANGER, ANXIETY, FEAR and SHAME can result in actual physical bodily symptoms of chronic pain and stiffness.  I think this hits the target for me, since the doctors don't really know what's wrong with me.  

I'm feeling a lot of anger towards God and the saints, and towards other people, for not helping or be able to help me with constant pain for years, and even for sometimes adding to the pain.  

I've confessed my anger during confession but haven't noticed anything different.  It's not ON-THE-SPOT anger but is as though stored within me and cannot be dispersed but only accumulates.  

Have you seen a nutritionist, and has anyone spoken to you about fasting as the one sure cure for anger?

I suffer from fully compressed disks and sciatica and am in constant pain and do not medicate because I think the consequences of pain medications are worse than the pain in the long run, and I'd like to make the long run if I am able.

I have noticed that diet is very important and especially if you are going to fast strictly as a spiritual medicine.  A prayer discipline helps as well. 

Very often panic and anxiety are caused by deep seated anger.  Your caregiver seems to have already told you that your own body could be toxic from the emotions that you harbor.  That is why I suggest a nutritionist.  I don't use a whole lot of supplements.  I eat mostly wholefoods, little meat-mostly broths, fish and nothing processed, including most drinks that are packaged outside of my house.  I have one tea that I will buy and drink occasionally.  All the supplements I use are easily available and not expensive at all. 

Well...I'll leave it at that and ask for Jesus to bring you healing and peace.

I've tried all kinds of supplements and vitamins and nothing helps.  I feel more ill when I fast for extended periods of time.  Before I started having all these problems, I ate all kinds of foods, no category restrictions, and didn't have any problems.

The books I'm reading now emphasize that it's not a PHYSICAL problem with the body but a PSYCHO-SOMATIC problem, in the sense that the physical symptoms are real but are created by the brain in an attempt to take focus away from emotional and psychological pain.  It makes a lot of sense for me, since the doctors have given no clear diagnosis.  The rheumatologist said no arthritis so far as he can see, but the constant stiffness I experience in my back is muscle spasms.  Well, what is causing the constant muscle spasms, I asked him.  He had no answer.   

Offline StGeorge

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #7 on: September 03, 2010, 09:37:21 PM »
Lord, have mercy!

I do understand you, too. People generally call me a very soft-natured person - I am always smiling, and I am nice to others, etc. But there are certain things (related to situation in my country of birth) that always stir emotions in me, including the emotion of anger. In this highly emotional state, I can say things to people that probably ought not be said. Later, I might console myself that I was fighting for the "right cause" (and perhaps I was), but these emotions hurt people and they also hurt and destroy me.

There is one very strong prayer to the Theotokos where we ask Her to "banish from us... despondency, forgetfulness, folly, carelessness..." and to "deliver us from many cruel memories and deeds, freeing us from their bad effects." It looks like the Church knows that She can help us in that, with Her holy and most powerful prayers.

I've probably heard this prayer many times, but do you have a link for it complete?  It sounds like the St. Ephrem prayer during the Great Fast.  

« Last Edit: September 03, 2010, 09:38:10 PM by StGeorge »

Offline JLatimer

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #8 on: September 04, 2010, 12:07:54 AM »
http://www.monachos.net/forum/showthread.php?3789-Prayer-rule-against-evil-thoughts

Prayer iv

This prayer to the Theotokos can also be found in the Morning Prayers according to the Jordanville prayer book.
1 Samuel 25:22 (KJV)
So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.

Offline SolEX01

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #9 on: September 04, 2010, 12:21:41 AM »
I have had anger issues since late June of this year due to not being able to control my fate (e.g. some aspects of my life are already fait accompli and I don't want to waste time postponing the inevitable or raising false hopes). 

As someone recently told me, everything is "small stuff" in hindsight.  While that message runs counter to Orthodox Christian praxis, the best thing is simply to let go and if one is able to incorporate prayer and fasting into the "letting go" process, then so be it.

Lord have Mercy.

Offline Salpy

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #10 on: September 04, 2010, 12:30:49 AM »
Lord have mercy.

Offline mike

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2010, 04:53:19 AM »
Lord, have mercy!

Offline Phoenix73

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2010, 06:38:03 AM »
Lord Have Mercy

Offline quietmorning

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2010, 09:27:13 AM »
I too was incredibly angry - but had turned that anger inward, as I did not want to harm anyone else with it.  

Through the His Grace, he put the right people in my life to show me that I needed to grieve.  Anger is one of the steps in the grieving process and I got stuck, afraid that I would anger God or hurt someone in my anger.  There were many many losses I had left without mourning - the cap was the death of someone I cared about deeply.  I didn't know how to grieve properly - as my childhood was not such that I could learn.  Many of the losses were losses I never considered to be losses. . .they were very difficult to recognize - until I had guidance.

Who knows what it is, but in my witnessing my own path, I'm convinced that He is more than able to not only help you, but permanently, completely heal you.  

Lord have Mercy.  
« Last Edit: September 04, 2010, 09:28:18 AM by quietmorning »
In His Mercy,
BethAnna

Offline PeterTheAleut

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #14 on: September 06, 2010, 03:07:36 PM »
Lord, have mercy!
Not all who wander are lost.

Offline stashko

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #15 on: September 06, 2010, 07:28:15 PM »
Lord Have Mercy...Amen Amen
ГОСПОДЕ ГОСПОДЕ ,ПОГЛЕДАЈ СА НЕБА ,ДОЂИ И ПОСЕТИ ТВОЈ ВИНОГРАД ТВОЈА ДЕСНИЦА ПОСАДИЛА АМИН АМИН.

Offline arnI

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Re: Very angry
« Reply #16 on: September 06, 2010, 07:51:15 PM »
Lord have mercy!
Grant me to see my own errors and not to judge my brother