I have not posted this at the Orthodox boards in Spanish, feearing a bad reaction from my Orthodox brothers, and given the fact that I was one of the most outspoken in his support of Orthodoxy and his disdain toward the Roman Catholic Church. I myself encouraged many Catholics to break with the Roman Church and embrace Orthodoxy.
My views about the Roman Church changed a few years ago, when I attended Vespers at the Latin Church (celebrated by priests of the SSPX). Before that moment, and myself coming from a Latin American country, I saw the Roman Church as another guitar-playing Protestant denomination which had repudiated the Apostolic tradition.
I went to some bible talks with them, I read about the Church and I started to feel that the Catholic Church had clearer answers concerning the state of the soul after death, the final judgement and other topics I found hard to understand from an Orthodox point of view. I sincerely thought about embracing Catholicism but I delayed my decission, I left for Europe and then bad moments came in my life so I ceased to study religion and became worried about my problems. In Europe I had contact with Orthodox Christians and I felt it was better to support the Orthodox since (unlike the Catholic Church) the Orthodox Churches have no problems with liturgy, faith, tradition, corruption, and so on. I thought the Roman Church could not be the true Church because of so many problems they have, and because of their protestantization.
However, now that I went to France I took the time to visit churches, I went to the Armenian Catholic Church, the Melkite Church (of St. Julien Le Pauvre) and the SSPX Church. I saw how devote their lives are, how they truly live Christianity. Back in my country I had more talks with SSPX priests. I thought I could do a better work by supporting Orthodoxy and at the same time support Ecumenism with the Catholic Church but these priests explained to me that this is not a true way of supporting unity. I also had the idea that the RC had a mechanical view of the Apostolic succession and that it viewed Orthodox Churches as being equal to the Catholic Churches but this is not true. I have read quotes from the Fathers and from Popes and theologians. They explained to me that while they might have valid sacraments and valid priests, the authority of Christ is missing, there's no apostolic mission outside the Catholic Church, and it is still debatable if such bishops posess jurisdiction (some say that for reasons of charity, the Catholic Church still regards Orthodox bishops as having jurisdiction but in general terms this is not the case). The mysteries outside the Church confer grace and benefit for salvation for those who receive them in invincible ignorance or extreme necessity but not in the case of those who already know that these sacraments and bishops are outside the Church. I remember that the Armenian priest (who also says the Latin Mass in France) asking me why I did not join the Catholic Church if I thought it was the True Church.
It is pride what did not allow me to do so. Not the kind of pride of those Orthodox who say the Pope is the antichrist and who are extremely anti-Roman but the pride of those who want to be seen as different from others and as being better. I didn't want to accept I was wrong and these are hard times for me. I know that the local Orthodox (many of whom are former Catholics who joined the Orthodox Church for illegitimate reasons such as the way the mass is celebrated by the modern RC) will see me as a traitor and as a bad person. Maybe they will break contact with me and my family but this is the honest thing I can do: to embrace the Church of Christ.
The Roman Church is attacked because it is hated by the world. Anti-Roman hatred is filled with the spirit of Protestantism and I am strongly Anti-Protestant. As a Mexican Nationalist, I also want to become a full son of my nation and a true son of those who conquered this land for Christ destroying the false evil gods that were once worshipped. I am now also sharing the same faith of the defenders of my country who were hanged or killed in 1847 in New Mexico by the Protestant occupiers, and the same faith of the Cristeros who fought the Communists in the 1930's.
I am already aware of the dangers of Ecumenism and Liberalism. I am all for Tradition. I do not support the "Society of St. Josaphat" and those who are not respectful of the Eastern tradition.
I don't believe I am myself leaving Orthodoxy but simply becoming fully Orthodox. It was very easy to be Orthodox and be a member of a Church that does not have problems. Being Catholic is more much difficult since it's hard to find a church and priest having the faith. I am not repudiating the Eastern tradition. I will try to attend the Eastern liturgy (in my country it is very difficult to do so. There was an American priest celebrating the liturgy in Greek in the Diocese of Puebla, and a Melkite Church but the Melkites are latinized and modernized here). However, I have learnt to love and appreciate the Latin tradition.
I made a profession of faith "ad cautelam" before the SSPX priests in case I had incurred in any censure because of my actions (no Baptism or Confirmation was required). I am not obliged to recite the filioque if I don't want to, eventhough I believe St. Thomas Aquinas to be right about the filioque. I have met a Traditional priest who's not a member of the SSPX (he's in good staiding with the Vatican) who'se offering the traditional mass in a holy way and everything happened at my birthplace. I am receiving many graces.
I am sorry if these words offended or surprised others who have always seen me as a devote and loyal supporter of Orthodoxy.
I offer you my sincere friendship and prayers.