TomS
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Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: GOA
Posts: 3,186
"Look At Me! Look At Me Now! " - Bono
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« on: February 24, 2004, 08:57:49 AM » |
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The Last Hours
There's some innocence left, and these are the last hours of an empty afternoon at the office, and there's the clock on the wall, and my friend Frank in the adjacent cubicle selling himself on the phone. I'm twenty-five, on the shaky ladder up, my father's son, corporate, clean-shaven, and I know only what I don't want, which is almost everything I have. A meeting ends. Men in serious suits, intelligent men who've been thinking hard about marketing snacks, move back now to their window offices, worried or proud. The big boss, Horace, had called them in to approve this, reject that-- the big boss, a first-name, how's-your-family kind of assassin, who likes me. It's 1964. The sixties haven't begun yet. Cuba is a larger name than Vietnam. The Soviets are behind everything that could be wrong. Where I sit it's exactly nineteen minutes to five. My phone rings. Horace would like me to stop in before I leave. Stop in. Code words, leisurely words, that mean now. Would I be willing to take on this? Would X's office, who by the way is no longer with us, be satisfactory? About money, will this be enough? I smile, I say yes and yes and yes, but--I don't know from what calm place this comes--I'm translating his beneficence into a lifetime, a life of selling snacks, talking snack strategy, thinking snack thoughts. On the elevator down it's a small knot, I'd like to say, of joy. That's how I tell it now, here in the future, the fear long gone. By the time I reach the subway it's grown, it's outsized, an attitude finally come round, and I say it quietly to myself, I quit, and keep saying it, knowing I will say it, sure of nothing else but.
-- by Stephen Dunn, from Different Hours (W.W. Norton).
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