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JamesR
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« Reply #135 on: February 12, 2013, 11:11:30 PM » |
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I have to get a picture of myself in order for Michael to give to her, anyone here good at photoshop? Maybe take my face and put it on the body of the guy on the cover of those muscle/fitness magazines?
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You're really on to something here. Tattoo to keep you from masturbating, chew to keep you from fornicating... it's a whole new world where you outsource your crosses. You're like a Christian entrepreneur or something. James, you have problemz. |
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Shiny
Site Supporter
Muted
Toumarches
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Faith: Groucho Marxist
Jurisdiction: Dahntahn Stoop Haus
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Paint It Red
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« Reply #136 on: February 12, 2013, 11:19:52 PM » |
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Yeah I could do it, I just need a good headshot of you though. Maybe have the lighting facing directly on your face.
Although yours is gonna have to wait. I have something much more important to work on at the moment that came up a few weeks ago.
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“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”
– St. Ambrose of Milan
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Karaleighmum
Jr. Member
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Faith: Orthodox (catechumen)
Jurisdiction: Russian
Posts: 41
I am a partaker of The Divine Nature.
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« Reply #137 on: February 17, 2013, 11:36:39 PM » |
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this is definitely one of the funnier threads i've seen thus far  |
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Trebor135
Member
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« Reply #138 on: February 18, 2013, 12:50:27 PM » |
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I'm twenty-two, a guy, and living in Ontario, Canada.
It's going to be hard finding potential candidates for marriage, since I'm converting to Eastern Orthodoxy in a pretty secular country where the Christians in large numbers are Catholic and Protestant and I'd like the household not to be divided at all in matters of faith. Plus, I'm still in university and not entirely sure what I want to do with my life. Under the right circumstances, a girlfriend might be nice to have, but I'm not staying awake thinking about how lonely I am or anything. Not having access to the sacraments yet is far more important to me.
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Alpo
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« Reply #139 on: February 18, 2013, 02:39:45 PM » |
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I have to get a picture of myself in order for Michael to give to her, anyone here good at photoshop? Maybe take my face and put it on the body of the guy on the cover of those muscle/fitness magazines?
Glad to help an Orthodox brother in need. Here you are:  |
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Dominika
Serbian/Polish
High Elder
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Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: Orthodox Church of Poland
Posts: 973
St. Luke, pray for us!
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« Reply #140 on: February 18, 2013, 06:12:50 PM » |
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this is definitely one of the funnier threads i've seen thus far Actually, it's very serious thread. Everybody here try to not be alone  The thing is that the posts are quite funny, but the topic itself not really I have to get a picture of myself in order for Michael to give to her, anyone here good at photoshop? Maybe take my face and put it on the body of the guy on the cover of those muscle/fitness magazines?
Glad to help an Orthodox brother in need. Here you are: Women don't like men like this  |
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Pray for persecuted Christians, especially in Serbian Kosovo and Raška, Egypt and Syria
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Alpo
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« Reply #141 on: February 18, 2013, 07:08:16 PM » |
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Women don't like men like this I completely understand that. The smile is really over the top. James, you might want to work on that before you move to Poland. Remember Orthodox hesychia.  |
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Anastasia1
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« Reply #142 on: February 19, 2013, 01:34:44 AM » |
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Turning 35 in a couple of months, but still single and proud! Yes, but are you a tall, handsome US citizen? |
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Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation. (2 Cor 2:6)
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Anastasia1
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« Reply #143 on: February 19, 2013, 01:36:26 AM » |
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this is definitely one of the funnier threads i've seen thus far Actually, it's very serious thread. Everybody here try to not be alone The thing is that the posts are quite funny, but the topic itself not really Sincerity and humanity makes for the best of comedy. And you are right. Giant muscles that big are gross. That guy probably has no life outside of the gym-no time for his woman either. |
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« Last Edit: February 19, 2013, 01:36:39 AM by Anastasia1 »
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Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation. (2 Cor 2:6)
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Justin Kissel
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« Reply #144 on: February 19, 2013, 01:55:51 AM » |
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And you are right. Giant muscles that big are gross. That guy probably has no life outside of the gym-no time for his woman either.
I bet he's also gay, vain, is on steroids, is dumb, has small-man complex, and also has a small male sexual organ. |
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"Change is the process of becoming more like who we are."
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JamesR
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« Reply #145 on: February 19, 2013, 02:09:15 PM » |
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One look at my "male sexual organs" is probably enough to hook any woman....or send her running for the hills.
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« Last Edit: February 19, 2013, 02:11:24 PM by JamesR »
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You're really on to something here. Tattoo to keep you from masturbating, chew to keep you from fornicating... it's a whole new world where you outsource your crosses. You're like a Christian entrepreneur or something. James, you have problemz. |
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Cyrillic
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« Reply #146 on: February 19, 2013, 02:16:17 PM » |
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One look at my "male sexual organs" is probably enough to hook any woman....or send her running for the hills.
Plural? |
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On a OC.net diet.
"Chi son? Sono un poeta. Che cosa faccio? Scrivo. E come vivo? Vivo."
-Giacomo Puccini
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sheenj
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« Reply #147 on: February 19, 2013, 02:26:56 PM » |
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One look at my "male sexual organs" is probably enough to hook any woman....or send her running for the hills.
Plural? Do I need to bust out the anatomy charts? |
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Schultz
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« Reply #148 on: February 19, 2013, 02:29:37 PM » |
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At a recent gig I was playing, a man came up to the door and asked my friend's band War On Women were playing (FYI, they're a pretty aggressive feminist punk rock band). When informed that they were, he replied, "Hm, I can't get behind that. They're too hermaphroditic for my tastes," and then left.
JamesR may have just become too hermaphroditic for this board's tastes.
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"Hearing a nun's confession is like being stoned to death with popcorn." --Abp. Fulton Sheen
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Cyrillic
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« Reply #149 on: February 19, 2013, 02:30:09 PM » |
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Oh wait, you silly Americans count those as being two sexual organs.
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« Last Edit: February 19, 2013, 02:32:06 PM by Cyrillic »
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On a OC.net diet.
"Chi son? Sono un poeta. Che cosa faccio? Scrivo. E come vivo? Vivo."
-Giacomo Puccini
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sheenj
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« Reply #150 on: February 19, 2013, 02:31:28 PM » |
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Oh wait, you silly Americans count those as being two sexual organs.
You're still forgetting the biggest (hehehe) member of the group... |
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Cyrillic
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« Reply #151 on: February 19, 2013, 02:33:29 PM » |
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THREE?!  |
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On a OC.net diet.
"Chi son? Sono un poeta. Che cosa faccio? Scrivo. E come vivo? Vivo."
-Giacomo Puccini
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Hiwot
Christ is Risen!
OC.net guru
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Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church
Posts: 1,959
Job 19:25-27
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« Reply #152 on: February 19, 2013, 02:35:04 PM » |
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Women don't like men like this Thank you! |
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To God be the Glory in all things! Amen!
Only pray for me, that God would give me both inward and outward strength, that I may not only speak, but truly will; and that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really be found to be one. St.Ignatius of Antioch.Epistle to the Romans.
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sheenj
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« Reply #153 on: February 19, 2013, 02:35:25 PM » |
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THREE?! Wait that's not normal?  |
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Cyrillic
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« Reply #154 on: February 19, 2013, 02:36:09 PM » |
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I...uhm...uhhh
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On a OC.net diet.
"Chi son? Sono un poeta. Che cosa faccio? Scrivo. E come vivo? Vivo."
-Giacomo Puccini
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Hiwot
Christ is Risen!
OC.net guru
Offline
Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church
Posts: 1,959
Job 19:25-27
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« Reply #155 on: February 19, 2013, 02:39:02 PM » |
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At a recent gig I was playing, a man came up to the door and asked my friend's band War On Women were playing (FYI, they're a pretty aggressive feminist punk rock band). When informed that they were, he replied, "Hm, I can't get behind that. They're too hermaphroditic for my tastes," and then left.
JamesR may have just become too hermaphroditic for this board's tastes.
LOL |
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To God be the Glory in all things! Amen!
Only pray for me, that God would give me both inward and outward strength, that I may not only speak, but truly will; and that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really be found to be one. St.Ignatius of Antioch.Epistle to the Romans.
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Hiwot
Christ is Risen!
OC.net guru
Offline
Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church
Posts: 1,959
Job 19:25-27
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« Reply #156 on: February 19, 2013, 02:39:38 PM » |
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I...uhm...uhhh
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To God be the Glory in all things! Amen!
Only pray for me, that God would give me both inward and outward strength, that I may not only speak, but truly will; and that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really be found to be one. St.Ignatius of Antioch.Epistle to the Romans.
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JamesR
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« Reply #157 on: February 19, 2013, 04:37:48 PM » |
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Oh wait, you silly Americans count those as being two sexual organs.
Pretty much, yeah--sometimes even THREE! |
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You're really on to something here. Tattoo to keep you from masturbating, chew to keep you from fornicating... it's a whole new world where you outsource your crosses. You're like a Christian entrepreneur or something. James, you have problemz. |
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Anastasia1
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« Reply #158 on: February 19, 2013, 05:17:13 PM » |
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Do I quote Master of Disguise on party hors d'oeuvres now or not...  |
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Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation. (2 Cor 2:6)
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KBN1
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« Reply #159 on: February 21, 2013, 01:09:38 AM » |
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Do I quote Master of Disguise on party hors d'oeuvres now or not... Wait, you can quote Master of Disguise? |
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Anastasia1
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« Reply #160 on: February 21, 2013, 03:02:47 AM » |
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Do I quote Master of Disguise on party hors d'oeuvres now or not... Wait, you can quote Master of Disguise? Well, this is what came to mind when I last read this thread. "Do you have a little wiener and some tiny nuts?" http://youtu.be/RRa2B4-NLbI |
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« Last Edit: February 21, 2013, 03:04:34 AM by Anastasia1 »
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Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation. (2 Cor 2:6)
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That person
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« Reply #161 on: February 21, 2013, 08:45:12 AM » |
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One look at my "male sexual organs" is probably enough to hook any woman....or send her running for the hills.
Is anyone else puzzled by the quotation marks here? |
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"Some have such command of their bowels, that they can break wind continuously at pleasure, so as to produce the effect of singing."- St. Augustine of Hippo Movie reviews you can trust. |
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Aindriú
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« Reply #162 on: February 21, 2013, 09:03:50 AM » |
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One look at my "male sexual organs" is probably enough to hook any woman....or send her running for the hills.
Is anyone else puzzled by the quotation marks here? JamesR is actually an octopus, and that's not even his final form. |
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 I'm going to need this. |
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William
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« Reply #163 on: February 21, 2013, 06:24:19 PM » |
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One look at my "male sexual organs" is probably enough to hook any woman....or send her running for the hills.
Is anyone else puzzled by the quotation marks here? I gotta admit I laughed at this one. |
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Apart from moral conduct, all that man thinks himself able to do in order to become acceptable to God is mere superstition and religious folly. - Immanuel Kant
Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. - Matt. 5:24
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biro
Excelsior
Site Supporter
Toumarches
Offline
Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: Greek Orthodox Church
Posts: 12,742
Και κλήρονομον δείξον με, ζωής της αιωνίου
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« Reply #164 on: February 21, 2013, 06:25:42 PM » |
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One look at my "male sexual organs" is probably enough to hook any woman....or send her running for the hills.
Is anyone else puzzled by the quotation marks here? JamesR is actually an octopus, and that's not even his final form. Oh dear  Makes me think of the Gamera movies for some reason. |
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Charlie Rose: If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be? Fran Lebowitz: Everything. There is not one thing with which I am satisfied. http://spcasuncoast.org/ |
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Nadege
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« Reply #165 on: February 23, 2013, 11:45:21 PM » |
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I've said it before, and I'll say it again; the Evangelical purity-ring wearing woman is perhaps the most insane, frightening woman you could end up with (next to Rosie O'Donnell). They are the kind who will ask about marriage on the first date, expect to be treated like royalty by you, and want to introduce you to their equally insane family and talk about having six kids someday.
I am 34 and divorced and love my purity ring. Not only I'm actually not practicing extramarital sex, but it also looks just like a standard silver wedding band and keeps (most) men from bothering me. |
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NicholasMyra
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« Reply #166 on: February 24, 2013, 06:58:00 PM » |
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« Last Edit: February 24, 2013, 07:00:51 PM by NicholasMyra »
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if Christ does and says x. And someone else does and says not x and you are ever in doubt, follow Christ.
"You are philosophical innovators. As for me, I follow the Fathers." -Every heresiarch ever |
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NicholasMyra
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« Reply #167 on: February 24, 2013, 07:01:22 PM » |
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if Christ does and says x. And someone else does and says not x and you are ever in doubt, follow Christ.
"You are philosophical innovators. As for me, I follow the Fathers." -Every heresiarch ever |
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Nadege
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« Reply #168 on: February 24, 2013, 07:26:12 PM » |
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Wow, beautiful!
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Tikhon.of.Colorado
Site Supporter
Archon
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Faith: Roman Catholic
Jurisdiction: Archdiocese of Denver
Posts: 2,362
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« Reply #169 on: February 25, 2013, 12:58:38 AM » |
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I just want a woman that's decently attractive, doesn't carry too much emotional baggage, can cook and won't interfere too much in my religious life.
James, you remind me of a funny event. At Orthodox summer camp, the priests were talking to us about our future spouses. We were to say things we would want in a spouse, and one of the boys said they wanted a girl that was "submissive." The tension after that comment could be cut with a knife. Let me tell you, the girls didn't talk to him for the rest of camp! In other news, this thread gives me so many giggles. I miss ismi, though. I wonder if she's still active here. |
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"It is true that I am not always faithful, but I never lose courage, I leave myself in the Arms of Our Lord." - St. Thérèse of Lisieux
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vamrat
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« Reply #170 on: February 25, 2013, 10:32:44 AM » |
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I just want a woman that's decently attractive, doesn't carry too much emotional baggage, can cook and won't interfere too much in my religious life.
James, you remind me of a funny event. At Orthodox summer camp, the priests were talking to us about our future spouses. We were to say things we would want in a spouse, and one of the boys said they wanted a girl that was "submissive." The tension after that comment could be cut with a knife. Let me tell you, the girls didn't talk to him for the rest of camp! In other news, this thread gives me so many giggles. I miss ismi, though. I wonder if she's still active here. The word submissive has taken on different connotations. It's generally thought of as a bad thing. Perhaps the poor bloke just thought he was using it the biblical way where the man is in charge in the relationship. I highly doubt he was looking for a BDSM partner at an Orthodox summer camp. And I share in the Ismi missing. |
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Justin Kissel
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« Reply #171 on: February 25, 2013, 10:50:04 AM » |
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I highly doubt he was looking for a BDSM partner at an Orthodox summer camp.
Really. There are already perfectly good websites for that! |
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"Change is the process of becoming more like who we are."
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Alpo
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« Reply #172 on: February 25, 2013, 11:54:20 AM » |
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I highly doubt he was looking for a BDSM partner at an Orthodox summer camp.
Really. There are already perfectly good websites for that! For finding Orthodox BDSM partners? |
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Justin Kissel
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« Reply #173 on: February 25, 2013, 01:38:41 PM » |
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I highly doubt he was looking for a BDSM partner at an Orthodox summer camp.
Really. There are already perfectly good websites for that! For finding Orthodox BDSM partners? Sure, I know a fetish/bdsm site that has an Orthodox discussion group on it. Though the numbers are currently rather low. |
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"Change is the process of becoming more like who we are."
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Cyrillic
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« Reply #174 on: February 25, 2013, 01:42:50 PM » |
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I highly doubt he was looking for a BDSM partner at an Orthodox summer camp.
Really. There are already perfectly good websites for that! For finding Orthodox BDSM partners? Sure, I know a fetish/bdsm site that has an Orthodox discussion group on it. Though the numbers are currently rather low.  |
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On a OC.net diet.
"Chi son? Sono un poeta. Che cosa faccio? Scrivo. E come vivo? Vivo."
-Giacomo Puccini
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Alpo
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« Reply #175 on: February 25, 2013, 02:44:50 PM » |
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Eww! Too much information!
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augustin717
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« Reply #176 on: February 25, 2013, 02:55:55 PM » |
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I highly doubt he was looking for a BDSM partner at an Orthodox summer camp.
Really. There are already perfectly good websites for that! For finding Orthodox BDSM partners? Sure, I know a fetish/bdsm site that has an Orthodox discussion group on it. Though the numbers are currently rather low. Is it about wearing tortuously long headscarves? |
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« Last Edit: February 25, 2013, 03:03:45 PM by augustin717 »
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Alpo
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« Reply #177 on: February 25, 2013, 03:00:34 PM » |
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I don't recognize augustin717's posts anymore due to such a light-colored avatar. I want vintage photographs back!
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« Last Edit: February 25, 2013, 03:01:19 PM by Alpo »
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Romaios
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« Reply #178 on: February 25, 2013, 04:14:58 PM » |
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Is it about wearing tortuously long headscarves?
More likely:  |
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JamesR
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« Reply #179 on: February 26, 2013, 04:56:43 AM » |
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I'm not too picky; I just want an Orthodox woman who sees me as God in her eyes and will submit to me and obey everything I say.
/misogynist redneck
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« Last Edit: February 26, 2013, 04:58:50 AM by JamesR »
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You're really on to something here. Tattoo to keep you from masturbating, chew to keep you from fornicating... it's a whole new world where you outsource your crosses. You're like a Christian entrepreneur or something. James, you have problemz. |
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