Author Topic: singles?  (Read 116111 times)

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Offline Alpo

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Re: singles?
« Reply #540 on: March 13, 2018, 02:58:35 PM »
I wasn't keen on being in a relationship either but yet here I am.

Oh well. Life happens.
I just need to find out how to say it in Slavonic!

Offline DeniseDenise

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Re: singles?
« Reply #541 on: March 13, 2018, 04:13:36 PM »
Some of my friends have been divorcing or having marital problems recently. Being a single seems rather simple compared to that.

It's horrifying and complicated. Being a lonely single is much simpler, yes, but I don't mean to dismiss that struggle either.

I guess I'm weird. I don't find that as much of a struggle. Never have. I wouldn't run away from a relationship but mostly the biggest issue is other people getting into relationships, having kids and all and them basically disappearing from my life. Don't blame anyone for that as that's what I would do too though.

Gosh, maybe it's just my reading, but you sound very down on yourself. Cheer up, you're a great man.
+1

Thank you for both and maybe that came out as angsty teenager but I'm not actually having any kind of crisis over this. I've just always been less keen on having a relationship than most people seem to be.

I just figured you were Finnish
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Offline Alpo

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Re: singles?
« Reply #542 on: March 13, 2018, 04:35:18 PM »
How so?
I just need to find out how to say it in Slavonic!

Offline DeniseDenise

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Re: singles?
« Reply #543 on: March 13, 2018, 04:44:49 PM »
How so?


are you not all known for being most antisocial than most people groups?
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Offline Alpo

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Re: singles?
« Reply #544 on: March 14, 2018, 01:33:43 AM »
Pretty much. Not talking to other people is our national sports.
I just need to find out how to say it in Slavonic!

Offline Dominika

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Re: singles?
« Reply #545 on: March 14, 2018, 07:47:01 AM »
Pretty much. Not talking to other people is our national sports.
And I used to think that you have good parties (and, generally, social life) in saunas, drinking vodka (you, in Poland we have even vodka called "Finlandia" and there is a song "I love you so much as I love Finlandia") and listening teogether metal music...
But (more) seriously, I think that you're a natioan quite social, but only in the groups in which you know each other - I mean, the most difficult for you is to smile, say something to the strangers.
Am I wrong?
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Offline RaphaCam

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Re: singles?
« Reply #546 on: March 14, 2018, 01:35:38 PM »
Socialising with non Mediterranean Europeans is too uncomfortable to me.
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Offline RaphaCam

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Re: singles?
« Reply #547 on: March 14, 2018, 01:41:51 PM »
Socialising with non Mediterranean Europeans is too uncomfortable to me.
Not that it's your fault, I've just heard so many general remarks such as that you guys hate to be touched or interrupted mid-speech, which is normal for Brazilian conversations, so I think I'd totally have to get used to the Polish or Finnish way.  :P At least you guys don't get uncomfortable with silence, which is good, conversations must be interesting and it's okay to pause. I hate chit-chat.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2018, 01:43:56 PM by RaphaCam »
"May the Lord our God remember in His kingdom all Holy Catholic Apostolic Church, which heralds the Word of Truth and fearlessly offers and distributes the Holy Oblation despite human deficiencies and persecutions moved by the powers of this world, in all time and unto the ages of ages."

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Offline Dominika

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Re: singles?
« Reply #548 on: March 14, 2018, 01:44:05 PM »
Socialising with non Mediterranean Europeans is too uncomfortable to me.
And your jurisdiction belongs to the Polish Orthodox Church.... ;)
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Offline RaphaCam

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Re: singles?
« Reply #549 on: March 14, 2018, 01:48:20 PM »
Socialising with non Mediterranean Europeans is too uncomfortable to me.
And your jurisdiction belongs to the Polish Orthodox Church.... ;)
I love you guys, I'm just not used to interact in person. :laugh: However, on a side note, every time I had long conversations with Greeks, I felt like a Finn. I might be wrong, but they seem to be much more expansive and talkative than the average Brazilian. My dad has the same impression.
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Offline Arachne

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Re: singles?
« Reply #550 on: March 14, 2018, 03:09:29 PM »
Socialising with non Mediterranean Europeans is too uncomfortable to me.
And your jurisdiction belongs to the Polish Orthodox Church.... ;)
I love you guys, I'm just not used to interact in person. :laugh: However, on a side note, every time I had long conversations with Greeks, I felt like a Finn. I might be wrong, but they seem to be much more expansive and talkative than the average Brazilian. My dad has the same impression.

The way spousal unit puts it, a moderately animated discussion among Greeks looks, to the observer who doesn't know the language, like they're about to be at each other's throats.

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Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: singles?
« Reply #551 on: March 14, 2018, 03:17:50 PM »
You Greek Brits really should have settled in Ireland.
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Offline Alpo

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Re: singles?
« Reply #552 on: March 14, 2018, 04:11:16 PM »
Pretty much. Not talking to other people is our national sports.
And I used to think that you have good parties

We do. Without involving talking to anyone.
I just need to find out how to say it in Slavonic!

Offline Iconodule

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Re: singles?
« Reply #553 on: March 14, 2018, 04:21:22 PM »
That sounds heavenly.
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Offline Dominika

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Re: singles?
« Reply #554 on: March 25, 2018, 09:39:14 AM »
Being single vs in a realtionship:
https://www.facebook.com/smoothsmith8/videos/414213825696376/


It seems that's mainly woman that suffers from being single ;)
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Offline Arachne

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Re: singles?
« Reply #555 on: March 25, 2018, 09:57:36 AM »
Being single vs in a realtionship:
https://www.facebook.com/smoothsmith8/videos/414213825696376/


It seems that's mainly woman that suffers from being single ;)

We've been told since we were little that we need someone by our side to be happy. Yeah, right.
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Offline Alpo

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Re: singles?
« Reply #556 on: March 25, 2018, 10:31:49 AM »
I just need to find out how to say it in Slavonic!

Offline RaphaCam

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Re: singles?
« Reply #557 on: March 25, 2018, 05:30:27 PM »
I'm single now, she cheated on me. Wish we had ended this stupid mess before, but at least now I'll never feel guilty about breaking up, even if she kills herself or something, as she claims she will. I've warned her mother and close friends, and now I can only pray.
« Last Edit: March 25, 2018, 05:33:29 PM by RaphaCam »
"May the Lord our God remember in His kingdom all Holy Catholic Apostolic Church, which heralds the Word of Truth and fearlessly offers and distributes the Holy Oblation despite human deficiencies and persecutions moved by the powers of this world, in all time and unto the ages of ages."

May the Blessed Light shine Forth

Offline Volnutt

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Re: singles?
« Reply #558 on: March 25, 2018, 06:19:04 PM »
I'm single now, she cheated on me. Wish we had ended this stupid mess before, but at least now I'll never feel guilty about breaking up, even if she kills herself or something, as she claims she will. I've warned her mother and close friends, and now I can only pray.

Yeah, that's all you can do. :-\
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Offline Dominika

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Re: singles?
« Reply #559 on: March 25, 2018, 06:32:02 PM »
I'm single now, she cheated on me. Wish we had ended this stupid mess before, but at least now I'll never feel guilty about breaking up, even if she kills herself or something, as she claims she will. I've warned her mother and close friends, and now I can only pray.

Ahh, that's second time in a very short period that you have (as it seems) met a.. let's say, strange girl, and entered into a relationship with her :( Lord have mercy!
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Offline Sharbel

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Re: singles?
« Reply #560 on: March 25, 2018, 06:45:53 PM »
Socialising with non Mediterranean Europeans is too uncomfortable to me.
Surprisingly, those from the land locked Balkan countries are rather easy going too.
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Offline RaphaCam

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Re: singles?
« Reply #561 on: March 25, 2018, 06:46:33 PM »
Socialising with non Mediterranean Europeans is too uncomfortable to me.
Surprisingly, those from the land locked Balkan countries are rather easy going too.
Oh, in my small experience with them, yes.
"May the Lord our God remember in His kingdom all Holy Catholic Apostolic Church, which heralds the Word of Truth and fearlessly offers and distributes the Holy Oblation despite human deficiencies and persecutions moved by the powers of this world, in all time and unto the ages of ages."

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Offline RaphaCam

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Re: singles?
« Reply #562 on: March 25, 2018, 06:49:04 PM »
Ahh, that's second time in a very short period that you have (as it seems) met a.. let's say, strange girl, and entered into a relationship with her :( Lord have mercy!
Yeah, there's a pattern, I crescently understand why this happens. This one makes three bizarre break-up with emotionally unstable girls in two years: two borderline cheaters and one sociopathic convert to Islam. I should definitely avoid any romantic contact in a long time, and, when eventually it's time, use a lot of discernment and patience.
"May the Lord our God remember in His kingdom all Holy Catholic Apostolic Church, which heralds the Word of Truth and fearlessly offers and distributes the Holy Oblation despite human deficiencies and persecutions moved by the powers of this world, in all time and unto the ages of ages."

May the Blessed Light shine Forth

Offline Sharbel

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Re: singles?
« Reply #563 on: March 25, 2018, 08:11:36 PM »
Yeah, there's a pattern, I crescently understand why this happens. This one makes three bizarre break-up with emotionally unstable girls in two years: two borderline cheaters and one sociopathic convert to Islam. I should definitely avoid any romantic contact in a long time, and, when eventually it's time, use a lot of discernment and patience.
The best circumstance to enter into a romantic relationship is with a friend and it just happens, without it being sought.  If for any reason because the odds of this romance being born in honesty and between disinterested partners is higher.  If i may, until you can find yourself with this interior attitude, given your history, it's better to wait.
« Last Edit: March 25, 2018, 08:12:04 PM by Sharbel »
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Offline Dominika

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Re: singles?
« Reply #564 on: March 26, 2018, 06:15:06 AM »
Yeah, there's a pattern, I crescently understand why this happens. This one makes three bizarre break-up with emotionally unstable girls in two years: two borderline cheaters and one sociopathic convert to Islam. I should definitely avoid any romantic contact in a long time, and, when eventually it's time, use a lot of discernment and patience.
The best circumstance to enter into a romantic relationship is with a friend and it just happens, without it being sought.  If for any reason because the odds of this romance being born in honesty and between disinterested partners is higher.

But because of such thinking every friendship with the opposite sex ma be perceived as suspicious.
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Offline Vanhyo

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Re: singles?
« Reply #565 on: March 26, 2018, 02:38:28 PM »

Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: singles?
« Reply #566 on: March 26, 2018, 03:17:07 PM »
Yeah, there's a pattern, I crescently understand why this happens. This one makes three bizarre break-up with emotionally unstable girls in two years: two borderline cheaters and one sociopathic convert to Islam. I should definitely avoid any romantic contact in a long time, and, when eventually it's time, use a lot of discernment and patience.
The best circumstance to enter into a romantic relationship is with a friend and it just happens, without it being sought.  If for any reason because the odds of this romance being born in honesty and between disinterested partners is higher.

But because of such thinking every friendship with the opposite sex ma be perceived as suspicious.

Suspicious of future happiness?
"Love ... is an abyss of illumination, a mountain of fire ... . It is the condition of angels, the progress of eternity" (Climacus).

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Offline Dominika

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Re: singles?
« Reply #567 on: March 26, 2018, 03:27:09 PM »
Yeah, there's a pattern, I crescently understand why this happens. This one makes three bizarre break-up with emotionally unstable girls in two years: two borderline cheaters and one sociopathic convert to Islam. I should definitely avoid any romantic contact in a long time, and, when eventually it's time, use a lot of discernment and patience.
The best circumstance to enter into a romantic relationship is with a friend and it just happens, without it being sought.  If for any reason because the odds of this romance being born in honesty and between disinterested partners is higher.

But because of such thinking every friendship with the opposite sex ma be perceived as suspicious.

Suspicious of future happiness?

No, I mean having friends of the opposite sex and relations with them. That in such friendship a sexual context may enter, because of such thinking.

So, if i start realtion with a guy, the context of this realtion has to be said and framed immediately. And I have some male friends, withotu sexaul context, at all.
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Offline RaphaCam

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Re: singles?
« Reply #568 on: March 26, 2018, 04:00:45 PM »
I agree with Sharbel, but I see what Dominika means. I think the deal is not labelling opposite-sex friends between "for friendship only" and "for a romantic relationship maybe", but rather letting stuff go along, if some spark appears with a friend.
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Offline Čtec

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Re: singles?
« Reply #569 on: March 26, 2018, 04:07:57 PM »
We need to go way back and let our parents handle our marriages. They should find our mates. It is actually most romantic, least sinful and most practical.
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Offline Volnutt

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Re: singles?
« Reply #570 on: March 26, 2018, 05:01:16 PM »
We need to go way back and let our parents handle our marriages. They should find our mates. It is actually most romantic, least sinful and most practical.

Until there inevitably developed a class of professional matchmakers willing to take extra cash from wealthier parents to find the "right sort" of spouse for their kids.
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Offline RaphaCam

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Re: singles?
« Reply #571 on: March 26, 2018, 05:34:53 PM »
Until there inevitably developed a class of professional matchmakers willing to take extra cash from wealthier parents to find the "right sort" of spouse for their kids.
Like... Hindu Tinder?

Sarcasm aside, arranged marriages are still a thing in some parts of Brazil. I personally feel there's still a culture of toxic relationships between children-in-law and parents-in-law as a heritage, since many parents, even young, modern and urban, deep down (or even straight up) feel entitled to choose their children's spouses. I believe my ex had some recent arranged marriages in her family, she was born in a typical 3k-people town that would probably go under the "white trash" label in the US.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2018, 05:40:01 PM by RaphaCam »
"May the Lord our God remember in His kingdom all Holy Catholic Apostolic Church, which heralds the Word of Truth and fearlessly offers and distributes the Holy Oblation despite human deficiencies and persecutions moved by the powers of this world, in all time and unto the ages of ages."

May the Blessed Light shine Forth

Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: singles?
« Reply #572 on: March 26, 2018, 06:11:51 PM »
The grown-ups should absolutely be very involved in the partner-finding process.
"Love ... is an abyss of illumination, a mountain of fire ... . It is the condition of angels, the progress of eternity" (Climacus).

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Offline biro

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Re: singles?
« Reply #573 on: March 26, 2018, 06:20:22 PM »
As if the people getting married aren't grownups.
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Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: singles?
« Reply #574 on: March 26, 2018, 06:21:26 PM »
Meaning others besides the parents should be involved. A community of elders.
"Love ... is an abyss of illumination, a mountain of fire ... . It is the condition of angels, the progress of eternity" (Climacus).

Quote from: Seekingtrue
Yes we who are far from sainthood we can recognize a living saint and I'm talking from personal experience.Yes they are gentle soo gentle it can not be described it is like gentleness and humility in one and also they have this light this energy it's beyond words...and when you are near them you feel ecstatic and very happy

Offline Volnutt

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Re: singles?
« Reply #575 on: March 26, 2018, 06:35:58 PM »
Meaning others besides the parents should be involved. A community of elders.

A good ideal, but in practice I could easily see it leading to an atmosphere of pressure.
Christ my God, set my heart on fire with love in You, that in its flame I may love You with all my heart, with all my mind, and with all my soul and with all my strength, and my neighbor as myself, so that by keeping Your commandments I may glorify You the Giver of every good and perfect gift. Amen.

Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: singles?
« Reply #576 on: March 26, 2018, 06:37:30 PM »
Meaning others besides the parents should be involved. A community of elders.

A good ideal, but in practice I could easily see it leading to an atmosphere of pressure.

You mean, like peer pressure, societal pressure, marketing pressure, but good?
"Love ... is an abyss of illumination, a mountain of fire ... . It is the condition of angels, the progress of eternity" (Climacus).

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Yes we who are far from sainthood we can recognize a living saint and I'm talking from personal experience.Yes they are gentle soo gentle it can not be described it is like gentleness and humility in one and also they have this light this energy it's beyond words...and when you are near them you feel ecstatic and very happy

Offline Volnutt

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Re: singles?
« Reply #577 on: March 26, 2018, 06:39:30 PM »
Meaning others besides the parents should be involved. A community of elders.

A good ideal, but in practice I could easily see it leading to an atmosphere of pressure.

You mean, like peer pressure, societal pressure, marketing pressure, but good?

In the sense that two people who don't get along or have much in common might feel compelled to get married just because the older sets wants it for them, for whatever reason.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2018, 06:40:48 PM by Volnutt »
Christ my God, set my heart on fire with love in You, that in its flame I may love You with all my heart, with all my mind, and with all my soul and with all my strength, and my neighbor as myself, so that by keeping Your commandments I may glorify You the Giver of every good and perfect gift. Amen.

Offline Čtec

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Re: singles?
« Reply #578 on: March 26, 2018, 07:05:20 PM »
I have asked my father (he lives in a village) to find me a wife, but we concluded all of them are more or less pagans. I also asked him to give me money to buy a wife in Albania, but he still hates their kind too much.
It is a real thing, you don't really buy them, you give money to match maker and some money to her father, so their family would not be insulted, because they don't want to give away their daughter for free, which is an insult in ancient Balkan culture that still lives in rural North Albania.

"On Mount Konjuh the wind blows, sings. The leafs chant sad songs. Maples and frasers! Pines and birches are swinging together.
The night has put all forest in to black. Mount Konjuh roars, rocks are breaking!
Dead comrade, Pustinja's miner,  being buried by the company of proleters"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyzGJMbHg0E

Offline Arachne

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Re: singles?
« Reply #579 on: March 26, 2018, 07:06:02 PM »
Meaning others besides the parents should be involved. A community of elders.

A good ideal, but in practice I could easily see it leading to an atmosphere of pressure.

You mean, like peer pressure, societal pressure, marketing pressure, but good?

In the sense that two people who don't get along or have much in common might feel compelled to get married just because the older sets wants it for them, for whatever reason.

Been there. It was creepy as all get out. All the aunts offering to set me up with someone or other of their other nephews. I got 99 kinks, but borderline incest ain't one.
'Evil isn't the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as evil, maybe more so, and it's a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against stupid. That might actually make a difference.'~Harry Dresden

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Offline biro

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Re: singles?
« Reply #580 on: March 26, 2018, 07:14:09 PM »
I have asked my father (he lives in a village) to find me a wife, but we concluded all of them are more or less pagans. I also asked him to give me money to buy a wife in Albania, but he still hates their kind too much.

Good Lord.
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Offline Čtec

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Re: singles?
« Reply #581 on: March 26, 2018, 07:17:16 PM »
I have asked my father (he lives in a village) to find me a wife, but we concluded all of them are more or less pagans. I also asked him to give me money to buy a wife in Albania, but he still hates their kind too much.

Good Lord.

We are not all Americans, let us have our way of life too.
"On Mount Konjuh the wind blows, sings. The leafs chant sad songs. Maples and frasers! Pines and birches are swinging together.
The night has put all forest in to black. Mount Konjuh roars, rocks are breaking!
Dead comrade, Pustinja's miner,  being buried by the company of proleters"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyzGJMbHg0E

Offline Tzimis

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Re: singles?
« Reply #582 on: March 26, 2018, 07:18:27 PM »
In greek we call it. Exogamo. Marrying outside your village and edogamo. Marring within your village. Most greeks these days tend to move to Athens.  To become more main steam, or in favor of city life. Most women that is. Because a lot of these villages are full of single men. The woman are all gone, in favor of living a city life. They want malls, high end shoes, they want to look good. The Kardashian affect. 
« Last Edit: March 26, 2018, 07:21:03 PM by Tzimis »

Offline biro

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Re: singles?
« Reply #583 on: March 26, 2018, 07:25:34 PM »
In greek we call it. Exogamo. Marrying outside your village and edogamo. Marring within your village. Most greeks these days tend to move to Athens.  To become more main steam, or in favor of city life. Most women that is. Because a lot of these villages are full of single men. The woman are all gone, in favor of living a city life. They want malls, high end shoes, they want to look good. The Kardashian affect.

Sure.
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Offline biro

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Re: singles?
« Reply #584 on: March 26, 2018, 07:26:06 PM »
I have asked my father (he lives in a village) to find me a wife, but we concluded all of them are more or less pagans. I also asked him to give me money to buy a wife in Albania, but he still hates their kind too much.

Good Lord.

We are not all Americans, let us have our way of life too.

Buying people is illegal in America.
https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parakeetist


Warning: stories have mature content.