Topic: singles?

[Pan Michał]

But you're not anymore, so maybe that's not so bad tactic 

Long-term one, that's for sure

[Dominika]

But you're not anymore, so maybe that's not so bad tactic 

Long-term one, that's for sure

But unless you're not so impatient (e.g like me), the effect is most important and it's worth to use this method although it's a long-term one.

[JamesR]

I just want a woman that's decently attractive, can cook (or order take out if she can't  ) and will give me my space. I hate the emotional clingy-ness and always-wanting-to-talk thing that so many women have. I love you, but jeeze, why do I need to talk to you about it every waking moment of the day? Finally, it'd be nice if she could satisfy my ego every once in a while; you know, sit me down on my favorite chair, bring me my coffee and a hot meal, wear something attractive, massage me while I eat and just tell me how wise, knowledgeable and attractive of a man I am 

[Justin Kissel]

it'd be nice if she could satisfy my ego every once in a while

You want a woman, or a miracle worker?

[orthonorm]

it'd be nice if she could satisfy my ego every once in a while

You want a woman, or a miracle worker?

You saying JamesR is the Hellen Keller of dating?

[Dionysii]

I just want a woman that's decently attractive, can cook (or order take out if she can't  ) and will give me my space. I hate the emotional clingy-ness and always-wanting-to-talk thing that so many women have. I love you, but jeeze, why do I need to talk to you about it every waking moment of the day? Finally, it'd be nice if she could satisfy my ego every once in a while; you know, sit me down on my favorite chair, bring me my coffee and a hot meal, wear something attractive, massage me while I eat and just tell me how wise, knowledgeable and attractive of a man I am 

For what it's worth, I suggest be very picky and avoid any consideration of all american and most european women as well as recognize that most advice about these kinds of things is poison that will destroy our lives if we let it.  To restate the last bit politely, a good marriage can be preserved by dumping many a worthless "friend." 

[Cyrillic]

In case some people hadn't guessed already, I'm single 

[Pan Michał]

In case some people hadn't guessed already, I'm single 

[Arachne]

I just want a woman that's decently attractive, can cook (or order take out if she can't  ) and will give me my space. I hate the emotional clingy-ness and always-wanting-to-talk thing that so many women have. I love you, but jeeze, why do I need to talk to you about it every waking moment of the day? Finally, it'd be nice if she could satisfy my ego every once in a while; you know, sit me down on my favorite chair, bring me my coffee and a hot meal, wear something attractive, massage me while I eat and just tell me how wise, knowledgeable and attractive of a man I am 

Remember that you gets what you pays for, and hire a maid.

[Cyrillic]

In case some people hadn't guessed already, I'm single 

(img)

Thank you, I guess...

[Pan Michał]

Thank you, I guess...

The pleasure is all mine. All. Believe me.

[Justin Kissel]

I smell a bromance in the making... 

[Pan Michał]

I smell a bromance in the making... 

When all is said <3

[NightOwl]

Met a really nice girl at the Pascha service last night but she's leaving for a different state very soon...   My luck is the worst

[Putnik Namernik]

Met a really nice girl at the Pascha service last night but she's leaving for a different state very soon...   My luck is the worst

try long distance maybe...

[NicholasMyra]

Romaios, want to start a business importing those St. Catherine rings?

[Romaios]

Romaios, want to start a business importing those St. Catherine rings?

Why sure! If we sell one to every single ocnetter... 

[Anastasia1]

Met a really nice girl at the Pascha service last night but she's leaving for a different state very soon...   My luck is the worst

I finally met a cute guy at church on Sunday. I left almost right after service though because I had some work to do. I still didn't get enough time to do that work.

[Putnik Namernik]

Did not want to open a new topic for this (but can be done so if admins want to)...do you guys believein soul mates or the existnce in the right one...can you be certain when you meet the right person that such is the person you have been waiting for and praying for. Do you know of any cases?

[xOrthodox4Christx]

Did not want to open a new topic for this (but can be done so if admins want to)...do you guys believein soul mates or the existnce in the right one...can you be certain when you meet the right person that such is the person you have been waiting for and praying for. Do you know of any cases?

Sure, I believe in soul mates. God made Adam a perfect mate. I think He made for each person, a perfect match.

But, I don't have anything experience-wise to share with that belief; I am not looking for a mate at the moment. 

[Putnik Namernik]

Well, I am met a priest who claims that he prayed to God...and that he got what he prayed for.

I hope that finding the "right person" is almost impissible or perhaps better to say rare...there is so much to consider...patience, circumstances, despair, frustration...I just am certain that marrying someone is one of the biggest decisions to make and us not something that should be rushed. It's just that when I look around, I do not see the "perfect" couple...only few have appeared so.
Perhaps the most troubling thing is how to distinguish between "God will take care of it" and " God gave you the looks and other means and you should use them...and not just wait for HER to knock on you door."

[Dominika]

do you guys believein soul mates or the existnce in the right one...

In some way yes. But only in some way. I mean, that God gives us some occasions to meet such person(s) with whom we can be good marriage which is a path to Salvation we cross together. But it doesn't mean such person is an ideal (we have to adapt to each other, change ourselves a bit) or that it'll be a certain moment to meet him/her and if we don't use the chance, it'll never repeat. It's difficult to describe what's my opinion on it as sometimes I think that there is a particular man that God would like I married him and just have to wait for the proper time to meet him.

can you be certain when you meet the right person that such is the person you have been waiting for and praying for.

That's the most important thing. Waiting - it means to keep the virginity to give the spouse it. And praying - it's just to trust that God knows better who and when, and it's not only the prayer to meet in right moment the right person, but it's also an ask to God to recognize that this is the right moment and the right person. I've heard about such prayers that the people got what they'd prayed for. And that's also the advice of my priest to me: to wait and to pray to meet the right person. In his case it has worked. But for now i have some moments of scepticism, because it's very difficult to find a nice (by look and personality) man, that's Orthodox Christian (or even just a Christian) and not married/in a relationship. At least it's difficult here, in Poland. And I know, I'm quite specific person, that makes the issue more problematic

[Shiny]

I had a Subway sandwich bag in my hand and the Rite Aid clerk said "You are lucky to have Subway, I haven't eaten since 12".

Coulda ran with it but hey she kinda gave me a feminine Ben Stein vibe with the voice, so it was sorta a turn off.

[Alpo]

do you guys believein soul mates or the existnce in the right one...can you be certain when you meet the right person that such is the person you have been waiting for and praying for. Do you know of any cases?

Silly Westerners and their romantic ideals. I believe no one in their right mind believed anything like this few hundred years ago.

[Fabio Leite]

I think that the silly idea is that God's providence has everything planned for us except our romantic partner.

Now, I don't think that the meeting of the two people who are to love each other and get married as planned by Providence follows the chick flick routine, or star-crossed scripts. It's a terribly messy thing and as with our own salvation, can go very wrong.

God's plans for us, including our partner, are invitations, not a path He forces or manipulates us into walking.

do you guys believein soul mates or the existnce in the right one...can you be certain when you meet the right person that such is the person you have been waiting for and praying for. Do you know of any cases?

Silly Westerners and their romantic ideals. I believe no one in their right mind believed anything like this few hundred years ago.

[Alpo]

I think that the silly idea is that God's providence has everything planned for us except our romantic partner.

God doesn't have everything planned for us. He gave us free will and expects us to use it.

[Fabio Leite]

It's a terribly messy thing

Let me complement that... It's messy because our hearts are filled with impurity. Everything related to love is childlike simple. It's us that have become unable to "be like children" in everything, including romantic love. All the perfectly divine, beautiful, just and good insights that we have about love in our most innocent age, we put behind under the label of "imaturity" or from the fear of being hurt. We settle for lukewarm relations, or lustful relations, or no relations at all, just because we do not want to repent from the fact that we may have broken that original supernatural love, or because it is very difficult to understand how the other part could not see what was so clear for us.

In any case, only trusting the God who is Three and One, Divine and Human, we can go forward believing that we will find true love, although we went through the death of true love.

[Fabio Leite]

I think that the silly idea is that God's providence has everything planned for us except our romantic partner.

God doesn't have everything planned for us. He gave us free will and expects us to use it.

He does. Every single second in His desiring will.

God's perfect planning of our lives does not imply a contradiction with our free will.

[Alpo]

I think that the silly idea is that God's providence has everything planned for us except our romantic partner.

God doesn't have everything planned for us. He gave us free will and expects us to use it.

He does. Every single second in His desiring will.

God's perfect planning of our lives does not imply a contradiction with our free will.

Dear young Christian: don’t waste years confused about God’s plan for you. His plan is that you be conformed to the image of Christ. Go live.

[Cyrillic]

do you guys believein soul mates or the existnce in the right one...can you be certain when you meet the right person that such is the person you have been waiting for and praying for. Do you know of any cases?

Silly Westerners and their romantic ideals. I believe no one in their right mind believed anything like this few hundred years ago.

They did, actually. Wasn't Romeo and Juliet written a few hundred years ago?

[Alpo]

do you guys believein soul mates or the existnce in the right one...can you be certain when you meet the right person that such is the person you have been waiting for and praying for. Do you know of any cases?

Silly Westerners and their romantic ideals. I believe no one in their right mind believed anything like this few hundred years ago.

They did, actually. Wasn't Romeo and Juliet written a few hundred years ago?

I still don't think it was similar kind of mainstream idea that Putnik Namernik, Fabio Leite and the like are promoting. AFAIK it used to be more like a contract between two familylines. Of course there was a lot variation between different cultures though.

[Cyrillic]

All the perfectly divine, beautiful, just and good insights that we have about love in our most innocent age, we put behind under the label of "imaturity" or from the fear of being hurt. We settle for lukewarm relations, or lustful relations, or no relations at all, just because we do not want to repent from the fact that we may have broken that original supernatural love, or because it is very difficult to understand how the other part could not see what was so clear for us.

Your theory is seriously flawed. I can't remember having insights about love in my "most innocent age", let alone just and good insights.

do you guys believein soul mates or the existnce in the right one...can you be certain when you meet the right person that such is the person you have been waiting for and praying for. Do you know of any cases?

Silly Westerners and their romantic ideals. I believe no one in their right mind believed anything like this few hundred years ago.

They did, actually. Wasn't Romeo and Juliet written a few hundred years ago?

I still don't think it was similar kind of mainstream idea that Putnik Namernik, Fabi Leite are promoting. AFAIK it used to be more like a contract between two familylines. Of course there was a lot variation between different cultures though.

Those things (the idea of romantic love and the idea of marriage as a deal between two families) don't necessarily exclude eachother.

[Alpo]

Those things (the idea of romantic love and the idea of marriage as a deal between two families) don't necessarily exclude eachother.

Not theoretically but in practice they do. Nowadays these ideas are extremely individualistic.

[LizaSymonenko]

...so, "falling in love" is a fairly new invention?  

Are you saying that a thousand years ago, two people couldn't meet and fall in love with each other?

[Shiny]

...so, "falling in love" is a fairly new invention?  

Are you saying that a thousand years ago, two people couldn't meet and fall in love with each other?

I fear we may lose the ability to fall in love someday.

[Alpo]

...so, "falling in love" is a fairly new invention?  

Are you saying that a thousand years ago, two people couldn't meet and fall in love with each other?

Nope. I'm saying it wasn't necessarily that essential aspect of marriages back in the days.

[Fabio Leite]

I think that the silly idea is that God's providence has everything planned for us except our romantic partner.

God doesn't have everything planned for us. He gave us free will and expects us to use it.

He does. Every single second in His desiring will.

God's perfect planning of our lives does not imply a contradiction with our free will.

Dear young Christian: don’t waste years confused about God’s plan for you. His plan is that you be conformed to the image of Christ. Go live.

"For I know the plans I have for you,’ declared the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

As for romantic love in Antiquity:

How beautiful you are, my darling!
    Oh, how beautiful!
    Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
    descending from the hills of Gilead.
2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn,
    coming up from the washing.
Each has its twin;
    not one of them is alone.
3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon;
    your mouth is lovely.
Your temples behind your veil
    are like the halves of a pomegranate.
4 Your neck is like the tower of David,
    built with courses of stone;
on it hang a thousand shields,
    all of them shields of warriors.
5 Your breasts are like two fawns,
    like twin fawns of a gazelle
    that browse among the lilies.
6 Until the day breaks
    and the shadows flee,
I will go to the mountain of myrrh
    and to the hill of incense.
7 You are altogether beautiful, my darling;
    there is no flaw in you.
8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride,
    come with me from Lebanon.
Descend from the crest of Amana,
    from the top of Senir, the summit of Hermon,
from the lions’ dens
    and the mountain haunts of leopards.
9 You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
    you have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes,
    with one jewel of your necklace.
10 How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
    How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume
    more than any spice!
11 Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride;
    milk and honey are under your tongue.
The fragrance of your garments
    is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
12 You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;
    you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.
13 Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates
    with choice fruits,
    with henna and nard,
14     nard and saffron,
    calamus and cinnamon,
    with every kind of incense tree,
    with myrrh and aloes
    and all the finest spices.
15 You are a garden fountain,
    a well of flowing water
    streaming down from Lebanon.

And yet, it is this kind of romantic, erotic love that is one of the first references and metaphor for the prayer of the heart:

I slept but my heart was awake.

Jesus' said that not one piece of our hair falls without God's knowledge and that the Father will take care of us even better than of the flowers and the birds. How can anyone believe that our wife or husband is not taken care of by God?

I can understand why people should oppose the unrealistic images from romantic movies, but there is today a strange trend in certain Christian circles to oppose that by making husband-wife meeting the only exception in the universe for God's providence. Weird.

[Alpo]

You might be reading your own culture into those verses.

[Cyrillic]

The Song of Songs is probably a bad example because it's symbolic. The Amatory Poems in the Greek Anthology is a good example of romantic love in Antiquity. Strato of Sardis' Musa Puerilis is a good example of its homosexual variety.

[Fabio Leite]

You might be reading your own culture into those verses.

More likely your prejudices are preventing you from seeing the obvious: being passionate about your wife, even physically, is not a sin as long as you still love God more.

God saw fit that an erotic poem about the passionate love between husband and wife was a good image of His own relation with the Church and that the kind of passionate love a wife has for the husband is a good prefiguration of the prayer of the heart. St. Dyonisos, the Aeropagite, could live with that highlighting that what unites us with God is a kind of passionate love (eros), so can I, and so should everybody.

As with everything, it's the misuse of passionate romantic love that is the problem, not the feeling itself.

[Fabio Leite]

The Song of Songs is probably a bad example because it's symbolic. The Amatory Poems in the Greek Anthology is a good example of romantic love in Antiquity. Strato of Sardis' Musa Puerilis its homosexual variety.

It's used as a symbol, but, honestly, it takes a lot of effort to not see that it was first and foremost a love song that was later and legitimaly read as a symbol *because* in it romantic love is depicted in its most pure and holy form.

[vamrat]

I am with Alpo.  I don't think our 'soulmates' are out there waiting for us.  I think that by our free will we are allowed to make someone into our 'soulmate', though.

[Putnik Namernik]

God's allknowing attribute does not dimish our free will. Same as God knows what is the bes for us, it does not mean that he is going to enforce it to us. He is going to show us this option (meeting our soul mate indirectly as a friend of the friend or soneome you meet what you think to be random. We at the end choose whether to follow up on that. We have friends and family members suggesting to us that this girl or that girl might be good for us. It is not an arranged marriage but a simple suggestion. There is someone out there for us who will accept us for who we are and perhaps even hekp u better ourselves. However I am more inclined to believe that there is more than one person...so i you miss out on this one girl it is not the end of it.
I repeat, the only thing I am not certain if I will be able to distinguish between the right one and the oher whom I have idolized and whose faults I omit to see therefore being the only obne to blame....

[Putnik Namernik]

Dominika, both of us.might need to go to Serbia more often...

[Dominika]

I don't think our 'soulmates' are out there waiting for us.  I think that by our free will we are allowed to make someone into our 'soulmate', though.

Good said in short words.

Dominika, both of us.might need to go to Serbia more often...

Definitely yes...  Although I prefer fair men, but for sure there are some exceptions...