Author Topic: singles?  (Read 75632 times)

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Offline wgw

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Re: singles?
« Reply #315 on: February 21, 2015, 07:17:29 PM »
hmm..forgive me but I feel like this thread needs this quote as well

“How beautiful, then, the marriage of two Christians, two who are one in hope, one in desire, one in the way of life they follow, one in the religion they practice. They are as brother and sister, both servants of the same Master. Nothing divides them, either in flesh or in spirit. They are, in very truth, two in one flesh; and where there is but one flesh there is also but one spirit. They pray together, they worship together, they fast together; instructing one another, encouraging one another, strengthening one another. Side by side they visit God's church and partake of God's Banquet; side by side they face difficulties and persecution, share their consolations. They have no secrets from one another; they never shun each other's company; they never bring sorrow to each other's hearts. Unembarrassed they visit the sick and assist the needy. They give alms without anxiety; they attend the Sacrifice without difficulty; they perform their daily exercises of piety without hindrance. They need not be furtive about making the Sign of the Cross, nor timorous in greeting the brethren, nor silent in asking a blessing of God. Psalms and hymns they sing to one another, striving to see which one of them will chant more beautifully the praises of their Lord. Hearing and seeing this, Christ rejoices. To such as these He gives His peace. Where there [p36] are two together, there also He is present; and where He is, there evil is not.”

and these..

“Perhaps the most distinguished quality in love is sacrifice. This is the big difference between love and lust: love always seek to give and lust always seek to take."


“Do not think that love in order to be genuine has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength is"

:)

That is profound, as is the distinction drawn between genuine love, which as I learned involves sacrifice in an extreme way, and carnal lust.  Orthodox theology describes a training of the passions, their purification so as to serve God (except for those that are entirely destructive), and Christian matrimony represents the ideal of the physical Union demanded by list tempered, perfected and made holy through an emotional and above all a spiritual Union, in the sight of God, so that the passion of lust dissolves and is subsumed by the altruistic ideal of matrimony.
Axios and many years to you, Fr. Trenham!

Offline JamesR

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Re: singles?
« Reply #316 on: February 21, 2015, 08:12:08 PM »
"Space" and "solitude" hardly inhere in the priesthood (certainly not in America where the priest seems to have to combine the traditional role with the role of pastor a la Protestantism). In other words, priests are constantly with other people and at other people's beck and call.

That doesn't bother me since at least I can still have my own little apartment and since I'd be helping people opposed to having to live at a monastery with others and having to detach myself from the concerns of the world. I wish the Orthodox Church had more single priests like the Catholics and more resources available on such a life.

Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: singles?
« Reply #317 on: February 21, 2015, 08:29:55 PM »
Instead of accommodating our particular disease, we need to confront and heal it. I can say this, altho I'm in similar straits to I imagine yours -- that is, I find the medicine as much suffering as the disease, and do not feel hopeful about the cure.
"Love ... is an abyss of illumination, a mountain of fire ... . It is the condition of angels, the progress of eternity" (Climacus).

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Offline wgw

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Re: singles?
« Reply #318 on: February 21, 2015, 09:35:08 PM »
JamesR,

At some of the monasteries I've visited, some of the monks become hermits and don't interact much with the other monks.  Other monks have "families" of pilgrims who come and visit them over the weekend several times a year, so every weekend at this one Coptic monastery, St. Anthonys, you'll find Coptic monks in the pilgrims cafeteria (the rectory is off limits for pilgrims) surrounded by their spiritual children, with the little ones on their lap who call them uncle, instead of Abuna.  Pane these monks are helping people out every weekend with problems and retreating into solitude.

The OCA convent near my house strikes me as similiar but the nuns are a bit more remote, but there are families with children that come and visit them monthly.   And they have communion at a different Orthodox Church each Sunday, and are a huge help when it comes to the choirs, some of which in the La area vary a bit in quality.

So each monastery is distinct, and I think you're making a lot of assumptions about the level of interactions with the world that monks have and with themselves.  At many monasteries the monks don't talk much with each other at all, seeking to avoid idle chatter and focus on prayer.  Their relationship with you is certainly not even close to as intimate as a wife (or even your parents, except perhaps your father of confession); they're more likely to be like fellow tenants at an apartment building at many monasteries.  But there are monasteries and monasteries, and while in the Roman church the different religious orders make it clear what you're going to get (Franciscan and Dominican Friars...like a hieromonk in the world but with highly intimate interaction with your peers), Trappists, near absolute silence, use of silence but a lack of privacy, Carmelites, a hermitage, no contact with the world, and so on), Orthodox monasticism is more flexible.  Different monasteries and sketes have different focuses.  Elder Sophrony for example set up a famous monastery in Britain where the Hours are replaced by collective saying of the Jesus Prayer.  So there is actually huge variation in Orthodox monastic praxis even within the same jurisdiction, even on Mount Athos.

One other thing to consider is that some jurisdictions from the conversations I have don't like to ordain unmarried priests; all their priests are either married or hieromonks.  Now this is probably not universally true.  But you can't get married once you're a priest.

Now I think you may well have a vocation to the priesthood or to a monastic life; a lot of what you're describing reminds me of the work of some monks.  And remember experienced hieromonks are often sent (sometimes to their dismay) out into world to serve as the priests of small parishes that can't afford a married priest.  And these guys often become Archimandrites and eventually Bishops.  But if you become a monk, you can't count on that happening.

But one thing seems clear to me:: in the short time Ive been on this forum, I've seem you struggling with the faith in a number of threads.  I think you should go to a monastery, not in order to examine the monastic lifestyle, but to get some input from a starets or elder, a senior monk who can help you stabilize your faith, overcome your doubts, and discern your vocation, so that you may live a blessed and fulfilling life according to the will of God, through our Lord Jesus Christ and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, through the intercession of the Theotokos.

Are you by any chance in California?  Because I'm about to go on an extended pilgrimage to several monasteries in the state with my mother to help us recover from the spiritual trauma we've asked for prayers on, and I would be happy to take you alomg as our guest.  We are blessed with a nice car, a 2007 Dodge Charger, which is also fun to drive and seats four passengers in comfort.  So if you have a drivers license you could join in the driving.  My mother is 65 and I'm 29.  You would need to pay for your own food and get your own room in the monasteries. 

By the way, the offer to join us is also open to anyone else, were setting out for the first leg on the 26th, coming home on the 5th.  Our pilgrimmages will not be a continuous trip but will be in segments punctuated by rest at our residence in the LA suburbs.  No serial killers please however.  :)

I'd particularly like a married or older woman to join us to stay with my mother in the outer guest houses at some of the monasteries so I can get a bit closer to the monks; in like manner at the Orthodox convents I'll be in the dog house, err, retreat center, while my mother is in there with the nuns. 
Axios and many years to you, Fr. Trenham!

Offline DeniseDenise

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Re: singles?
« Reply #319 on: February 21, 2015, 09:48:42 PM »
This is a case of 'the grass is always greener' syndrome.

James, who has issues with his family, wants a life as different as possible from the family that overwhelms him.

And while some of the choices might be a good fit for you, you also need to consider that wherever you go, there you are.
Trying to outrun the issues and trauma by just being as different from them as possible, usually isn't a healing process.

You need to quit making sweeping statements at 20, and instead work on healing .


All opinions expressed by myself are quite tragically my own, and not those of any other poster or wall hangings.

Offline Alxandra

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Re: singles?
« Reply #320 on: February 21, 2015, 10:26:38 PM »
hmm..forgive me but I feel like this thread needs this quote as well

“How beautiful, then, the marriage of two Christians, two who are one in hope, one in desire, one in the way of life they follow, one in the religion they practice. They are as brother and sister, both servants of the same Master. Nothing divides them, either in flesh or in spirit. They are, in very truth, two in one flesh; and where there is but one flesh there is also but one spirit. They pray together, they worship together, they fast together; instructing one another, encouraging one another, strengthening one another. Side by side they visit God's church and partake of God's Banquet; side by side they face difficulties and persecution, share their consolations. They have no secrets from one another; they never shun each other's company; they never bring sorrow to each other's hearts. Unembarrassed they visit the sick and assist the needy. They give alms without anxiety; they attend the Sacrifice without difficulty; they perform their daily exercises of piety without hindrance. They need not be furtive about making the Sign of the Cross, nor timorous in greeting the brethren, nor silent in asking a blessing of God. Psalms and hymns they sing to one another, striving to see which one of them will chant more beautifully the praises of their Lord. Hearing and seeing this, Christ rejoices. To such as these He gives His peace. Where there [p36] are two together, there also He is present; and where He is, there evil is not.”

and these..

“Perhaps the most distinguished quality in love is sacrifice. This is the big difference between love and lust: love always seek to give and lust always seek to take."


“Do not think that love in order to be genuine has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength is"

:)

That is profound, as is the distinction drawn between genuine love, which as I learned involves sacrifice in an extreme way, and carnal lust.  Orthodox theology describes a training of the passions, their purification so as to serve God (except for those that are entirely destructive), and Christian matrimony represents the ideal of the physical Union demanded by list tempered, perfected and made holy through an emotional and above all a spiritual Union, in the sight of God, so that the passion of lust dissolves and is subsumed by the altruistic ideal of matrimony.

Very true
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Offline orthonorm

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Re: singles?
« Reply #321 on: February 22, 2015, 12:28:49 AM »
This is a case of 'the grass is always greener' syndrome.

James, who has issues with his family, wants a life as different as possible from the family that overwhelms him.

And while some of the choices might be a good fit for you, you also need to consider that wherever you go, there you are.
Trying to outrun the issues and trauma by just being as different from them as possible, usually isn't a healing process.

You need to quit making sweeping statements at 20, and instead work on healing .

When can you make sweeping statements?

Dollars to donuts when James hits your age, he'll be far better off.

Trauma is never "healed" fwiw. Trauma is the ground for health.

Offline DeniseDenise

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Re: singles?
« Reply #322 on: February 22, 2015, 12:31:23 AM »
This is a case of 'the grass is always greener' syndrome.

James, who has issues with his family, wants a life as different as possible from the family that overwhelms him.

And while some of the choices might be a good fit for you, you also need to consider that wherever you go, there you are.
Trying to outrun the issues and trauma by just being as different from them as possible, usually isn't a healing process.

You need to quit making sweeping statements at 20, and instead work on healing .

When can you make sweeping statements?

Dollars to donuts when James hits your age, he'll be far better off.

Trauma is never "healed" fwiw. Trauma is the ground for health.


You might want to look at what tense i used.  'healing' does not equal healed, nor did i say it did.
All opinions expressed by myself are quite tragically my own, and not those of any other poster or wall hangings.

Offline lovesupreme

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Re: singles?
« Reply #323 on: March 23, 2015, 01:07:34 AM »
There are a lot of single women in their late 30s and 40s at my church, only a couple my age (20s). Is that common in other communities?

BTW, I have no personal qualms with dating an older woman, but I think the insular nature of churches would really exacerbate that particular social stigma.
« Last Edit: March 23, 2015, 01:08:11 AM by lovesupreme »

Offline biro

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Re: singles?
« Reply #324 on: March 23, 2015, 04:19:05 AM »
There are a lot of single women in their late 30s and 40s at my church, only a couple my age (20s). Is that common in other communities?

BTW, I have no personal qualms with dating an older woman, but I think the insular nature of churches would really exacerbate that particular social stigma.

I think so. I seem to be one of two unmarried adults in the parish, and the other person is half my age.

My only weakness is, well, never mind

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: singles?
« Reply #325 on: March 23, 2015, 11:22:00 AM »
There are a lot of single women in their late 30s and 40s at my church, only a couple my age (20s). Is that common in other communities?

I don't know, but I would like to make that my community.   ;)
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Re: singles?
« Reply #326 on: March 23, 2015, 05:41:30 PM »
There are a lot of single women in their late 30s and 40s at my church, only a couple my age (20s). Is that common in other communities?

I don't know, but I would like to make that my community.   ;)

Giving up on Rachel didn't take long.
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Offline IXOYE

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Re: singles?
« Reply #327 on: March 23, 2015, 06:29:35 PM »
I think so. I seem to be one of two unmarried adults in the parish, and the other person is half my age.

The advice I have read for people in parishes with few single parishioners is to visit other parishes if possible.

Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: singles?
« Reply #328 on: March 23, 2015, 11:51:33 PM »
There are a lot of single women in their late 30s and 40s at my church, only a couple my age (20s). Is that common in other communities?

I don't know, but I would like to make that my community.   ;)

Giving up on Rachel didn't take long.

Can you substantiate that claim with evidence and the results of solid journalistic investigation
« Last Edit: March 23, 2015, 11:51:52 PM by Mor Ephrem »
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The erection of one’s rod counts as a form of glory (Theophylaktos of Ohrid, A Defense of Eunuchs, p. 329).

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Offline hecma925

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Re: singles?
« Reply #329 on: March 24, 2015, 08:35:17 AM »
There are a lot of single women in their late 30s and 40s at my church, only a couple my age (20s). Is that common in other communities?

I don't know, but I would like to make that my community.   ;)

Giving up on Rachel didn't take long.

Can you substantiate that claim with evidence and the results of solid journalistic investigation?

You're not on trial, Mor.  What is your intent to be a part of an unknown community filled with single ladies?
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Re: singles?
« Reply #330 on: March 24, 2015, 09:35:18 AM »
I think so. I seem to be one of two unmarried adults in the parish, and the other person is half my age.

The advice I have read for people in parishes with few single parishioners is to visit other parishes if possible.

I have had that advice as well.  It is not always an option, but probably the best advice available.
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Offline IXOYE

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Re: singles?
« Reply #331 on: March 24, 2015, 10:01:08 AM »
I think so. I seem to be one of two unmarried adults in the parish, and the other person is half my age.

The advice I have read for people in parishes with few single parishioners is to visit other parishes if possible.

I have had that advice as well.  It is not always an option, but probably the best advice available.

I try to put that into practice myself.

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Re: singles?
« Reply #332 on: March 24, 2015, 10:27:43 AM »
There are a lot of single women in their late 30s and 40s at my church, only a couple my age (20s). Is that common in other communities?

I don't know, but I would like to make that my community.   ;)

Giving up on Rachel didn't take long.

Can you substantiate that claim with evidence and the results of solid journalistic investigation?

You're not on trial, Mor.  What is your intent to be a part of an unknown community filled with single ladies?

Good conversation.  Like reading Playboy for the articles. 
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Offline Pravoslavac

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Re: singles?
« Reply #333 on: March 24, 2015, 07:08:03 PM »
Hi all,
I'm 26. I was just curious if there are any other Orthodox singles, in their 20s, on here? I thought I would open the floor for anyone who wants to air their thoughts and/or woes on this "blessed time of singleness."  :)

~Seraphim

He is 31 now. xD He probable gave in being alone. :D

I am 21 and single and i love it. I don't have to take bath everyday, and burn in hell because of pre-marriage sex.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2015, 07:08:16 PM by Pravoslavac »
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Offline biro

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Re: singles?
« Reply #334 on: March 24, 2015, 07:12:57 PM »
You. Don't. Bathe?
My only weakness is, well, never mind

Offline Pravoslavac

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Re: singles?
« Reply #335 on: March 24, 2015, 07:14:05 PM »
You. Don't. Bathe?

Hey, i live in poor Orthodox third world country, we bath in rivers, when they are warm at summer.
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Offline biro

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Re: singles?
« Reply #336 on: March 24, 2015, 07:16:07 PM »
Fair enough.
My only weakness is, well, never mind

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Re: singles?
« Reply #337 on: March 24, 2015, 07:32:01 PM »
I am 21 and single and i love it. I don't have to take bath everyday, and burn in hell because of pre-marriage sex.

No worries, you'll grow up too.
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Offline Pravoslavac

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Re: singles?
« Reply #338 on: March 24, 2015, 07:32:59 PM »
I am 21 and single and i love it. I don't have to take bath everyday, and burn in hell because of pre-marriage sex.

No worries, you'll grow up too.

I am 6'5 tall.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2015, 07:33:24 PM by Pravoslavac »
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Offline orthonorm

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Re: singles?
« Reply #339 on: March 24, 2015, 08:19:11 PM »
There are a lot of single women in their late 30s and 40s at my church, only a couple my age (20s). Is that common in other communities?

BTW, I have no personal qualms with dating an older woman, but I think the insular nature of churches would really exacerbate that particular social stigma.

Demographically among most religions in the US, yes, from something I read. Usually the women also have a high BMI. They seek religious institutions to attempt to find a man who will deal with their baggage.

IOW, most 20 year old women don't need God's help to get a date. The other side of 30 with a similar BMI? It can't hurt.

Offline biro

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Re: singles?
« Reply #340 on: March 24, 2015, 08:22:19 PM »
Charming.
My only weakness is, well, never mind

Offline orthonorm

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Re: singles?
« Reply #341 on: March 24, 2015, 08:24:22 PM »
Charming.

Truth rarely is.

It's especially common among female converts to Islam in the US and GB. The races are different, class is different, but the height to weight ratio is the same.

Offline biro

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Re: singles?
« Reply #342 on: March 24, 2015, 08:26:17 PM »
Not going to dignify that further.

My only weakness is, well, never mind

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Re: singles?
« Reply #343 on: March 24, 2015, 08:32:45 PM »
Not going to dignify that further.

It's true. I think a role call of oc.net demos would bear this out. The photo thread at least suggests so.

To the OP, nearly all the single people I've known in OCA parishes over 30 were me and a few women as I described above. That is if we don't consider the widows.

A Priest once gave me a warning once he realized I wasn't gay, becafeful around married women. If you are an active single man in a parish you will be around a lot of married women who are all in but name single, especially the more ethnic the parish is.

My Priest gave me a heads up as he realized me not being gay and being rather easy going with women that such a combo had been for otherss a recipe for trouble.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2015, 08:34:04 PM by orthonorm »

Offline hecma925

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Re: singles?
« Reply #344 on: March 24, 2015, 08:40:13 PM »
There are a lot of single women in their late 30s and 40s at my church, only a couple my age (20s). Is that common in other communities?

I don't know, but I would like to make that my community.   ;)

Giving up on Rachel didn't take long.

Can you substantiate that claim with evidence and the results of solid journalistic investigation?

You're not on trial, Mor.  What is your intent to be a part of an unknown community filled with single ladies?

Good conversation.  Like reading Playboy for the articles.

We all know how that ends.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline biro

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Re: singles?
« Reply #345 on: March 24, 2015, 08:44:19 PM »
I think so. I seem to be one of two unmarried adults in the parish, and the other person is half my age.

The advice I have read for people in parishes with few single parishioners is to visit other parishes if possible.

I have considered moving to another state.
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Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: singles?
« Reply #346 on: March 24, 2015, 09:08:39 PM »
Demographically among most religions in the US, yes, from something I read. Usually the women also have a high BMI. They seek religious institutions to attempt to find a man who will deal with their baggage.

IOW, most 20 year old women don't need God's help to get a date. The other side of 30 with a similar BMI? It can't hurt.

This makes no sense in reality or fantasy. Even if we were all locked in cells here, since members of religions and American citizens are almost identical sets, it would be too easy to see your study is impossible nonsense.

Why can't you just get out to some churches and look around and get to know the many, many beautiful young people and people of all ages? That shouldn't frighten you as much as it apparently does.
"Love ... is an abyss of illumination, a mountain of fire ... . It is the condition of angels, the progress of eternity" (Climacus).

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Yes we who are far from sainthood we can recognize a living saint and I'm talking from personal experience.Yes they are gentle soo gentle it can not be described it is like gentleness and humility in one and also they have this light this energy it's beyond words...and when you are near them you feel ecstatic and very happy

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: singles?
« Reply #347 on: March 24, 2015, 09:19:10 PM »
I was told shortly after I entered the church that I would probably never marry, since Greeks don't like to marry outside their group, Orthodox or not. Does this match anyone else's experience>

Also, there is a sizable proportion of Americans who report they are not affiliated with any religion, so I certainly wouldn't say all citizens are members of religions.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2015, 09:30:17 PM by Jonathan Gress »

Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: singles?
« Reply #348 on: March 24, 2015, 09:27:26 PM »
Odd. I thought the problem with Greeks and marriage, as it's usually served up around here, is that they don't want to marry inside their group.
"Love ... is an abyss of illumination, a mountain of fire ... . It is the condition of angels, the progress of eternity" (Climacus).

Quote from: Seekingtrue
Yes we who are far from sainthood we can recognize a living saint and I'm talking from personal experience.Yes they are gentle soo gentle it can not be described it is like gentleness and humility in one and also they have this light this energy it's beyond words...and when you are near them you feel ecstatic and very happy

Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: singles?
« Reply #349 on: March 24, 2015, 09:30:01 PM »
Odd. I thought the problem with Greeks and marriage, as it's usually served up around here, is that they don't want to marry inside their group.

Oh dear. I guess I knew the wrong sort of Greeks. Though actually they weren't nearly as ethnically chauvinist as was made out...

Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: singles?
« Reply #350 on: March 24, 2015, 09:33:43 PM »
I'm not saying you're wrong. Greek chap once told me that when he was a boy his islanders wouldn't marry Greeks from the next island, because they were varvari.
"Love ... is an abyss of illumination, a mountain of fire ... . It is the condition of angels, the progress of eternity" (Climacus).

Quote from: Seekingtrue
Yes we who are far from sainthood we can recognize a living saint and I'm talking from personal experience.Yes they are gentle soo gentle it can not be described it is like gentleness and humility in one and also they have this light this energy it's beyond words...and when you are near them you feel ecstatic and very happy

Offline IXOYE

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Re: singles?
« Reply #351 on: March 24, 2015, 09:34:08 PM »
I was told shortly after I entered the church that I would probably never marry, since Greeks don't like to marry outside their group, Orthodox or not. Does this match anyone else's experience>

There are others that convert like you did to your Greek jurisdiction that are not Greek.  I'm sure some are single and looking for a spouse.

I see in some local Churches some Greeks are married to non-Greeks. 

Offline xOrthodox4Christx

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Re: singles?
« Reply #352 on: March 24, 2015, 09:41:18 PM »
I'm not saying you're wrong. Greek chap once told me that when he was a boy his islanders wouldn't marry Greeks from the next island, because they were varvari.

lol Everyone is considered varvari in Greece.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2015, 09:41:54 PM by xOrthodox4Christx »
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Offline Jonathan Gress

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Re: singles?
« Reply #353 on: March 24, 2015, 09:57:34 PM »
It wasn't just about being Greek or not, but that you had all these families with complicated blood and marital relationships going back generations and an outsider basically couldn't get a foot in the door. He didn't quite say marriages were arranged but it sort of sounded like it.

Offline orthonorm

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Re: singles?
« Reply #354 on: March 24, 2015, 10:20:05 PM »
Demographically among most religions in the US, yes, from something I read. Usually the women also have a high BMI. They seek religious institutions to attempt to find a man who will deal with their baggage.

IOW, most 20 year old women don't need God's help to get a date. The other side of 30 with a similar BMI? It can't hurt.

This makes no sense in reality or fantasy. Even if we were all locked in cells here, since members of religions and American citizens are almost identical sets, it would be too easy to see your study is impossible nonsense.

Why can't you just get out to some churches and look around and get to know the many, many beautiful young people and people of all ages? That shouldn't frighten you as much as it apparently does.

What are you going about? I am not the house bound one here. I work. Go out. And have attended more than few dozen odox parishes at this point.

Let's do a role call here amoung the single women over 30. We'll extrapolate from there. But what's wrong with what I said? Do you have a problem with overweight women?

Offline orthonorm

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Re: singles?
« Reply #355 on: March 24, 2015, 10:23:30 PM »
I was told shortly after I entered the church that I would probably never marry, since Greeks don't like to marry outside their group, Orthodox or not. Does this match anyone else's experience>

Also, there is a sizable proportion of Americans who report they are not affiliated with any religion, so I certainly wouldn't say all citizens are members of religions.

All the "Greek" odox girls I've known married outside the Church in spirit if not in rubric. Their finances got dunked at whatever Protestant church would do it, the girl's father makes the donation, the fiancé promises he will not stop the kids from going to Church. A lot like the RCs I knew, except the husband had to at least attend some counseling and classes with the Priest or adult formation leader.

Offline biro

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Re: singles?
« Reply #356 on: March 24, 2015, 10:25:56 PM »
My only weakness is, well, never mind

Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: singles?
« Reply #357 on: March 24, 2015, 11:23:02 PM »
Demographically among most religions in the US, yes, from something I read. Usually the women also have a high BMI. They seek religious institutions to attempt to find a man who will deal with their baggage.

IOW, most 20 year old women don't need God's help to get a date. The other side of 30 with a similar BMI? It can't hurt.

This makes no sense in reality or fantasy. Even if we were all locked in cells here, since members of religions and American citizens are almost identical sets, it would be too easy to see your study is impossible nonsense.

Why can't you just get out to some churches and look around and get to know the many, many beautiful young people and people of all ages? That shouldn't frighten you as much as it apparently does.

What are you going about? I am not the house bound one here. I work. Go out. And have attended more than few dozen odox parishes at this point.

Let's do a role call here amoung the single women over 30. We'll extrapolate from there. But what's wrong with what I said? Do you have a problem with overweight women?

You need to know when to let it go, Norman. Then again, if you had that balance, you wouldn't be flaming a religious family subforum in the first place.
"Love ... is an abyss of illumination, a mountain of fire ... . It is the condition of angels, the progress of eternity" (Climacus).

Quote from: Seekingtrue
Yes we who are far from sainthood we can recognize a living saint and I'm talking from personal experience.Yes they are gentle soo gentle it can not be described it is like gentleness and humility in one and also they have this light this energy it's beyond words...and when you are near them you feel ecstatic and very happy

Offline Porter ODoran

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Re: singles?
« Reply #358 on: March 24, 2015, 11:27:18 PM »
It wasn't just about being Greek or not, but that you had all these families with complicated blood and marital relationships going back generations and an outsider basically couldn't get a foot in the door. He didn't quite say marriages were arranged but it sort of sounded like it.

That makes me kind of envious of your experience, and kind of relieved to have avoided it. But, believe me, I know what that can be like. Only one of eight of us in my family was able to find an Amish-Mennonite spouse. It's not something done on purpose -- it's just the way the cookie can crumble in ultra-traditional cultures.
"Love ... is an abyss of illumination, a mountain of fire ... . It is the condition of angels, the progress of eternity" (Climacus).

Quote from: Seekingtrue
Yes we who are far from sainthood we can recognize a living saint and I'm talking from personal experience.Yes they are gentle soo gentle it can not be described it is like gentleness and humility in one and also they have this light this energy it's beyond words...and when you are near them you feel ecstatic and very happy

Offline Alpo

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Re: singles?
« Reply #359 on: March 25, 2015, 04:17:53 PM »
I've been posting OC.net for years and I'm still single. I want my money back.
But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the LORD your God.
Leviticus 19:34