Pani Lizo, - you are right. I do not really "hate" but I am very upset and angered.
There is nothing in me against things Russian as such. My two EQUALLY "first" languages are Ukrainian AND Russian. My parents spoke Russian, but they were both working very long hours when I was little, so I was raised mostly by my grandparents, and my grandfather spoke only Ukrainian (he lived to a good old age of 89, the last 45 years of his life in the extensively Russified capital of Ukraine, but, amazingly, could not learn to speak grammatic Russian). I read books for kids in both languages when I was 5-10 y.o., in roughly equal numbers. I admire Pushkin and Tolstoy as much as I admire Shevchenko and Kotsyubyns'kyj. If you look at our Slavic Languages board, you will see that I posted a lot of both Ukrainian and Russian poetry there.
But I am "cornered," like a wild beast, seeing how Putin's oil and gas empire continues to swallow my country, the land of my ancestors, and how the new cleptocratic clique in Ukraine is used by Putinoids to achieve their goals. And I was very, very upset when, in July 2008, while in my home city of Kyiv, I visited a UOC-MP church and got the impression that that church might as well be located in Ufa or Chelyabinsk or Ryazan'. On the other hand, my heart rejoices, SINGS, literally, when I am in a UOC-KP or in a UOAC parish where I feel with every cell of my body that I am among my people in the land of my ancestors, in Ukraine - the country that still exists, the country that wants to be friendly with Russia and yet be distinct of Russia, be herself! But then I am reminded, over, and over, and over again that these parishes are not really Church, they are not really Orthodox, they are schismatics, their Holy Mysteries are not real, etc. etc. etc., and my heart is crying with tears of blood, again and again and again.
Now, one other thing that hurts me, very deeply, is that people like Orthodoc can always "argue," look, I've been to Ukraine, I talked with Ukrainians, they are all very friendly with Russia, and in fact they really ARE Russians! They admit that their spoken language is Russian, not Ukrainian. Their cultural sympathies are with Moscow, not with Catholic Poland and not even with the Greek Catholic West of Ukraine. To which I say - and I know, the Orthodocs will not understand it, unfortunately... - YES, there are millions of people in Ukraine who are Russified to the bone, who have no memory of belonging to something that is not Russian or Russified; they are to Ukraine like Northern Irish ultra-Protestant "Orangists" to the patriotic Ireland, or worse. It's a tragedy of Ukraine. It has been successfully achieved after putting perhaps over ten million of Ukrainian peasants to slow, painful death by starvation in 1921, 1932-33 and 1946-47, and artificially populating the vacated land by "zabrody" (strangers) from Russia. By banning and exiling and shooting thousands and thousands of Ukrainian intellectuals in the 1930-s. By kidnapping and hanging Volodymyr Ivasyuk, a youth music idol who dared to refuse to sing in Russian, in 1973 and making it look like suicide. By constant, relentless, ruthless repression and persecution of everything Ukrainian (as "separatist") by the mighty forces that have been occupying my country for ages.
Some people in the West, including people on this forum (Ukiemeister) say that this is a victim's complex and that this only tires and irritates them. OK. I don't know how to do this job of defending Ukraine better. What's the alternative - admit that UOC-MP is really a "Ukrainian" Church, or that generally we all should just be Orthodox and forget about all these nationality-ethnicity idiocies (i.e. spit on our ancestors' graves)? No can do. So I will keep fighting the way I know how. When a post like the OP in this thread appears, I will call it a lie and the person who posted it a liar. When someone begins to sing this old and boring and hypocritical song about "un-canonicity" of UOC-KP, I will call him or her an agent of the Kremlin (yes, there are scores of them who ARE, even though they do not realize it). I might be a very bad Orthodox - I don't care. In fact, if Putin's Secretary of Religious Affairs (Patriarch +KIRILL) is Orthodox, I'd be happy to be a fire-worshipper or a Buddhist. There is nothing in common between him and me. In fact, he and I are just as antagonistic as a patriotic Greek of the first third of the 19th century and an Ottoman Turk, even though he claims to have the same "religion" as I.
That's how it is. There is war, and I have to fight it, or else I am a traitor and a nothing or something worse than nothing - a scum.