"Lord have mercy."
Remember that Patriarchs and Priests are human and fallible, but the Teachings and Traditions of the Church are not. Focus on the Sacraments and the Liturgy, for therein lies the experience of God. Unfortunately, the Church is not immune from politics, squabbles, and internal divisions; but always know that we have a divine promise that "the gates of hell shall not prevail against it." [St. Matthew 16:18] We do not kiss the hand of the Priest to honor his worth, but because his is the hand through which we receive the Body and Blood of Our Lord.
Persevere in the pursuit of your baptism! Satan will now be most active and busy in his insidious efforts to deter you from entering the Church through its redeeming waters. Press forward, and do not let your hand turn back from the plow! [St. Luke 9:62]
Peace to you.