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Tikhon.of.Colorado
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« on: April 04, 2010, 11:29:25 PM »

Hello, All.

Chist is Risen!

I have a problem that I need advice on. 

In high school, on TV, the radio, the internet, etc.  there are alot of temptations that can lead a Christian astray.  Being that I'm 15, the hormones don't help much either!  I was told by my godfather that life becomes harder when you join the True Church.  I now know what he means.  I have been to confession once.  after confession, I fealt like I was clean, I fealt happy. 

but, four times since confession (which isn't that much, considering that before finding the Church, I would do this every day.) I have been taken over by lust when on the internet and viewed, let's just say, "less-than-Christian" things. 

when I go on the computer, at certain times of the day, I feel like an energy in my body is awakened, and I can't help but do it's bidding.  It's rather scary, actually.  Now, I'm actually excited for confession.  I want to stop this terrible habit, and the only way is through God's mercy. 

now, I feel like I have lost something.....like I've failed.  I really wated to stop after my first confession  Cry

And at school, people are alwayse talking about sexually obscene topics.  the other day, a friend old me to go home, type a phrase into google, and push the "I'm feeling lucky" button.  Had I known what the word ment, I would not have done this.  It was a picture of a vaginal disease.  why on Earth he would tell my to search for that is beyond me.

Friends, how can I shake this demon from my back?

any advice would be very appreciated.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2010, 11:33:16 PM by trevor72694 » Logged

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« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2010, 11:36:30 PM »

Hello, All.

Chist is Risen!

I have a problem that I need advice on.  

In high school, on TV, the radio, the internet, etc.  there are alot of temptations that can lead a Christian astray.  Being that I'm 15, the hormones don't help much either!  I was told by my godfather that life becomes harder when you join the True Church.  I now know what he means.  I have been to confession once.  after confession, I fealt like I was clean, I fealt happy.  

but, four times since confession (which isn't that much, considering that before finding the Church, I would do this every day.) I have been taken over by lust when on the internet and viewed, let's just say, "less-than-Christian" things.  

when I go on the computer, at certain times of the day, I feel like an energy in my body is awakened, and I can't help but do it's bidding.  It's rather scary, actually.  Now, I'm actually excited for confession.  I want to stop this terrible habit, and the only way is through God's mercy.  

now, I feel like I have lost something.....like I've failed.  I really wated to stop after my first confession  Cry

And at school, people are alwayse talking about sexually obscene topics.  the other day, a friend old me to go home, type a phrase into google, and push the "I'm feeling lucky" button.  Had I known what the word ment, I would not have done this.  It was a picture of a vaginal disease.  why on Earth he would tell my to search for that is beyond me.

Friends, how can I shake this demon from my back?

any advice would be very appreciated.
Christ is risen!

The Desert Fathers taught: Angels do not fall. Demons fall, and do not get up. Men fall and get up.

Thinking that you would be perfect after a confession is Donatist, not Orthodox.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2010, 11:37:50 PM by ialmisry » Logged

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« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2010, 11:56:14 PM »


Indeed He has Risen!

...so, that we too may rise.

Other than God, nobody is "perfect".

Fight the good fight!  Try not to fall, but, if you do, get up and try again!

...the key here is to "try", truly keep trying and fighting.

You are in my unworthy prayers!

Lord, have mercy!

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« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2010, 11:59:49 PM »

Trevor,

 Indeed He is Risen!  Smiley

 Pornography is a major problem in the world today and unfortunately it is blatantly used to sell even the most innocuous of products from chewing gum to even toys for kids.  Taking the human body and turning it in to an object for gratification is tantamount to the criminal dehumanizing his victims.  It is serious, it is dangerous and it is not showing any sign of slowing down.  

 Fortunately for us, we have learned (on this very day, no less) that not only is there hope, but death is conquerable.  

 A few suggestions come to mind, but please go and bring up this matter to your priest/spiritual father.

 It has been said that habits are not erased or gotten rid of, but only exchanged for new habits.  Knowing this then, now that you have identified some behaviors that you realize need to change, begin thinking about (with the help of your priest/spiritual father) how you will change these behaviors i.e. what good habits will you replace these bad habits with?  For example, you mentioned you have a friend who plants evil suggestions in your head.  My suggestion here is to find new friends at church who will help you.  You don't necessarily have to break things off with your old friend, but at the very least, I believe you should limit the amount of time spent with him unless and until he realizes his suggestions are harmful for you both.  

 You mentioned the internet.  The internet can be both detrimental as well as a blessing to our spiritual lives.  If you see that it is beginning to hinder your spirituality moreso than help, you will need to replace it with something else that isn't as tempting.  In addition, you may find it helpful to place an icon of Christ or the Theotokos or a saint around your computer/desk area.  You may also wish to say a little prayer before you log onto the internet.  If you feel that you are easily excitable during a particular part of the day, obviously you need to stay away from the internet during those times.  

 When you aren't focused on school work, perhaps you could read the Bible or the Lives of the Saints or some such material that is benefitting to your soul.  

 Do not despair, friend; God will never give us more than what we can handle and He always provides help for us.

 Again, though, please talk to your priest/spiritual advisor as well as your parents about these issues.  They may be old, but they've been there before.  Smiley  
« Last Edit: April 05, 2010, 12:01:26 AM by GabrieltheCelt » Logged

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« Reply #4 on: April 05, 2010, 12:21:27 AM »

If I may offer my humble advice, which you of course do not have to take, here is what has worked for me.

Many men struggle with viewing pornographic images on the internet. It is simply so easy and seemingly private that it is almost impossible not to give in. When I was your age over a decade ago, I thought that I would not struggle with such temptations if I was married and able to "have sex", thinking somehow that marriage was a safe haven against the temptation. Unfortunately, that is not true, and marriage is not a cure-all for these things.

So what can you do? Should you despair and give up hope? Of course not.

The first thing you have to do is be honest with yourself, and realize that no matter how much you do not want to sin in your heart, another part of you does want to sin, and will in certain moments of weakness if you allow yourself to have the means to sin available. On this point a certain passage of Holy Scripture has become my motto:

Quote from: Matthew 5:30 (NIV)
And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

What does this passage mean? Should you mutilate yourself?

It means that we should cut off whatever things in our lives lead us into sin. You have to be honest and realize that when you refuse to repent of a sin, you are in danger of damnation. You should fear hell and the judgment of Christ enough to do what is necessary to remove the sin. In this case, the thing which is causing you to sin is your computer. So should you get rid of your computer? Well, this might become necessary at some point if other options do not work, but most likely not.

Once you are honest with yourself, be honest with someone else about your struggle. Your priest is a great first step, but he cannot micromanage your life. You need to talk to a close Christian friend, perhaps your Godfather, about your temptations, even just in a general way. Something like "I struggle not looking at all of the garbage on the internet."

Here is a program that you can download for free that lets you filter content out of your computer:

http://www1.k9webprotection.com/

Install it, and then have someone come over to your house like your Godfather or someone else to keep you accountable. Go through the filtering options with them, and be totally honest. Cut off all the things that will be a temptation. There is no sense in only going halfway. There is no harm in being overly cautious. After the settings have been selected, and this next part is why you need the other person, have them select a password, and then do not let them tell you what it is.

Now, even in your times of weakness, your computer will simply block the access, and there is no way to override it without the password. So if you're close enough to your dad or someone you live with to have them do the password, then that will likely be more feasible then having someone come all the way over to your house for this reason. You'd likely have to explain to your parents why somebody from church was coming over anyway, so the awkward conversation might still occur regardless. If your parents are Christians, then more than judging you I would think that would appreciate your honesty and be glad to help you without being too intrusive.

All of that to say that this has worked for me. My wife knows the password, and I never will, simply because I cannot trust myself. All she knows is that the temptation is just too great for me without safeguards, no matter how much I love Christ or her, there are always times of weakness, often when we least expect them. She loves and respects me for my honest in this, and any good Christian will do the same for you.

Obviously doing this one simple thing will not remove every impulse for sexual sin or cut off access to material from other avenues, but it will take care of one primary source; a hand which causes the sin. May God forgive us all, and may you have strength against the enemy by the power of our Lord Jesus Christ.
« Last Edit: April 05, 2010, 12:26:23 AM by Alveus Lacuna » Logged
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« Reply #5 on: April 05, 2010, 12:34:57 AM »

Trevor,

 Indeed He is Risen!  Smiley

 Pornography is a major problem in the world today and unfortunately it is blatantly used to sell even the most innocuous of products from chewing gum to even toys for kids.  Taking the human body and turning it in to an object for gratification is tantamount to the criminal dehumanizing his victims.  It is serious, it is dangerous and it is not showing any sign of slowing down.  

 Fortunately for us, we have learned (on this very day, no less) that not only is there hope, but death is conquerable.  

 A few suggestions come to mind, but please go and bring up this matter to your priest/spiritual father.

 It has been said that habits are not erased or gotten rid of, but only exchanged for new habits.  Knowing this then, now that you have identified some behaviors that you realize need to change, begin thinking about (with the help of your priest/spiritual father) how you will change these behaviors i.e. what good habits will you replace these bad habits with?  For example, you mentioned you have a friend who plants evil suggestions in your head.  My suggestion here is to find new friends at church who will help you.  You don't necessarily have to break things off with your old friend, but at the very least, I believe you should limit the amount of time spent with him unless and until he realizes his suggestions are harmful for you both.  

 You mentioned the internet.  The internet can be both detrimental as well as a blessing to our spiritual lives.  If you see that it is beginning to hinder your spirituality moreso than help, you will need to replace it with something else that isn't as tempting.  In addition, you may find it helpful to place an icon of Christ or the Theotokos or a saint around your computer/desk area.  You may also wish to say a little prayer before you log onto the internet.  If you feel that you are easily excitable during a particular part of the day, obviously you need to stay away from the internet during those times.  

 When you aren't focused on school work, perhaps you could read the Bible or the Lives of the Saints or some such material that is benefitting to your soul.  

 Do not despair, friend; God will never give us more than what we can handle and He always provides help for us.

 Again, though, please talk to your priest/spiritual advisor as well as your parents about these issues.  They may be old, but they've been there before.  Smiley  
thanks so much!  this is great advice!  it may or may not surprize you to know that my priest, at confession, told me the exact same thing, that I should "affix an icon of the Theotokos onto my screen, so that I cannot help but look at the Mother of God when I log on".

thanks again.
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« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2010, 12:55:14 AM »

If I may offer my humble advice, which you of course do not have to take, here is what has worked for me.

Many men struggle with viewing pornographic images on the internet. It is simply so easy and seemingly private that it is almost impossible not to give in. When I was your age over a decade ago, I thought that I would not struggle with such temptations if I was married and able to "have sex", thinking somehow that marriage was a safe haven against the temptation. Unfortunately, that is not true, and marriage is not a cure-all for these things.

So what can you do? Should you despair and give up hope? Of course not.

The first thing you have to do is be honest with yourself, and realize that no matter how much you do not want to sin in your heart, another part of you does want to sin, and will in certain moments of weakness if you allow yourself to have the means to sin available. On this point a certain passage of Holy Scripture has become my motto:

Quote from: Matthew 5:30 (NIV)
And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

What does this passage mean? Should you mutilate yourself?

It means that we should cut off whatever things in our lives lead us into sin. You have to be honest and realize that when you refuse to repent of a sin, you are in danger of damnation. You should fear hell and the judgment of Christ enough to do what is necessary to remove the sin. In this case, the thing which is causing you to sin is your computer. So should you get rid of your computer? Well, this might become necessary at some point if other options do not work, but most likely not.

Once you are honest with yourself, be honest with someone else about your struggle. Your priest is a great first step, but he cannot micromanage your life. You need to talk to a close Christian friend, perhaps your Godfather, about your temptations, even just in a general way. Something like "I struggle not looking at all of the garbage on the internet."

Here is a program that you can download for free that lets you filter content out of your computer:

http://www1.k9webprotection.com/

Install it, and then have someone come over to your house like your Godfather or someone else to keep you accountable. Go through the filtering options with them, and be totally honest. Cut off all the things that will be a temptation. There is no sense in only going halfway. There is no harm in being overly cautious. After the settings have been selected, and this next part is why you need the other person, have them select a password, and then do not let them tell you what it is.

Now, even in your times of weakness, your computer will simply block the access, and there is no way to override it without the password. So if you're close enough to your dad or someone you live with to have them do the password, then that will likely be more feasible then having someone come all the way over to your house for this reason. You'd likely have to explain to your parents why somebody from church was coming over anyway, so the awkward conversation might still occur regardless. If your parents are Christians, then more than judging you I would think that would appreciate your honesty and be glad to help you without being too intrusive.

All of that to say that this has worked for me. My wife knows the password, and I never will, simply because I cannot trust myself. All she knows is that the temptation is just too great for me without safeguards, no matter how much I love Christ or her, there are always times of weakness, often when we least expect them. She loves and respects me for my honest in this, and any good Christian will do the same for you.

Obviously doing this one simple thing will not remove every impulse for sexual sin or cut off access to material from other avenues, but it will take care of one primary source; a hand which causes the sin. May God forgive us all, and may you have strength against the enemy by the power of our Lord Jesus Christ.

 Grin Grin I don't feel silly for thinking you posting this link is a gift from God!!!  THANKS SO MUCH!!!  I've been looking for a blocker that won't take up space on my hard drive....this is perfect!! I have just, with your help, removed my temptation (on the internet, anyway).  thanks so much!
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« Reply #7 on: April 05, 2010, 01:06:44 AM »

Grin Grin I don't feel silly for thinking you posting this link is a gift from God!!!  THANKS SO MUCH!!!  I've been looking for a blocker that won't take up space on my hard drive....this is perfect!! I have just, with your help, removed my temptation (on the internet, anyway).  thanks so much!

Glory to God! Did you have someone else do the password?
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« Reply #8 on: April 05, 2010, 01:11:21 AM »

well, there were two lines for the password.  in both I put something like eight 1's.  then, I went between the lines with my finger on the same button for both.  I just pressed random letters.  all in all, it works and I can't unlock it. Wink

I also set it so that I can access social networks, media sites, etc.  I just can't access pornographic material.

thanks again! Grin
« Last Edit: April 05, 2010, 01:12:07 AM by trevor72694 » Logged

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« Reply #9 on: April 05, 2010, 06:24:56 PM »

you may find it helpful to place an icon of Christ or the Theotokos or a saint around your computer/desk area.  You may also wish to say a little prayer before you log onto the internet.  

As someone who has also struggled with lust and internet pornography, I think the above is really good advice.

Here are some other things I have found helpful:

- I usually also will "save as desktop image" an icon jpg! It is much harder to sin with the image of our Lord before our eyes!
- Place icons in every room and even little verses of Scripture you find helpful.
- Memorizing Scriptures to say when temptation arises and also saying the Jesus Prayer and other short prayers helps.
- Anything, including little things like having a vigil lamp to tend, that makes it so that you have to remember God throughout the day will help to keep you from being drawn away from Him and toward lustful thoughts.
- I even find censing the room regularly can help, since I associate the smell with church and Godly things.
- There is the story in the Way of the Pilgrim of the alcoholic who every time he feels the urge to drink will read one of the Gospels. Practices like this help.
- Satan will try to get you not to pray. You have to rebuke him and pray earnestly to God for help!
- I have also found that if I fall into sin, Satan sort of exploits the situation even more by trying to make me feel "too guilty to repent" so to speak, thinking to myself, 'oh well, I've already screwed up so I might as well just go on sinning.' This is demonic deception, it is like Judas' false repentance when he went and hanged himself in despair! I was confessing this to a priest recently and he of course reminded me how foolish this attitude is and that when we sin, we need to immediately repent and say "God forgive me for I have sinned!" or "Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me a sinner!" and God will forgive. Satan wants you to wallow in shame and despondency, but God wants you to return to Him and live! We ask God for forgiveness, and then we "get up" as the others have said and continue on in our struggle. It is never a good reason to sin again just because you sinned once!
-I find that I am more vulnerable to temptation if I neglect my Morning Prayers. Always pray the Jesus Prayer immediately upon awakening and then get out of bed and say your Morning Prayers. (I learned this in part from "How to Live a Holy Life" by Metropolitan Gregory of St. Petersburg, which is a really good book IMO)
- I have also found that reading even just a few sentences from the Scriptures in the morning before I start my day helps empower me to fight against temptation.
- I have found that regular and frequent Confession and Communion helps a lot!

St. Mary of Egypt said her temptations to lust didn't pass for 17 years! So it can take a long time, but if you keep fighting the good fight you know that with God';s grace and help you will prevail over sin. I still struggle with lustful thoughts and pornography too, but I would say things have gotten better over the years since I became Orthodoxy through the Grace of God. Like you, I found a lot of help in Confession once I became Orthodox, because in Confession I am accountable to my priest. I am learning more and more to trust in God and I thank Him and bless Him for how much He has helped me, even though through my own weakness I still fall again and again!

Obviously PRAYER and FASTING are key!

May God preserve you!
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« Reply #10 on: April 05, 2010, 06:40:29 PM »

you may find it helpful to place an icon of Christ or the Theotokos or a saint around your computer/desk area.  You may also wish to say a little prayer before you log onto the internet. 



- I usually also will "save as desktop image" an icon jpg! It is much harder to sin with the image of our Lord before our eyes!
 

May God preserve you!

I have also done this!  I believe the icon of unexpected joy helps me.  There was a man who despite living his life in sins nonetheless had pious love and devotion to the Mother of God.

Without fail, he daily prayed before her icon, saying those words once spoken by the Archangel Gabriel: "Rejoice, thou who art full of grace!"

It came to pass that as he was about to go off to engage in some sinful activity, he turned to pray before the icon of the Mother of God. Immediately he began to tremble, as he saw the image of the Mother of God appear to move. The wounds on the hands, feet and side of the Divine Infant opened up, and from them burst forth blood. Falling to the ground, the transgressor shouted: "O Lady, who has done this?"

The Mother of God answered: "You and other sinners once again, like the Jews, are crucifying my Son. You call me merciful. But then why do you insult me with your lawless acts? "O Mistress", answered the sinner, "may my sins not overcome your inexpressible goodness! You are the only hope of all sinners. Entreat your Son and our God on my behalf."

Our Mistress twice repeated her prayer to the Infant Christ, but He remained adamant, until finally he responded to the persis-tent entreaties of the Mother of God: "I will fulfill your request. May your wish be granted. Because of you, this person’s sins are remitted. Let him, in token of forgiveness, kiss My wounds."

And lo, the forgiven sinner, before whom the inexhaustible mercy of the Mother of God was manifest in such a wonderful man-ner, raised himself up from the ground, and with inexpressible joy kissed the wounds of his Saviour. From that moment, he lived a clean and pious life. This event provided the faithful with the incentive to write the "Unexpected Joy" icon of the Mother of God.

On this icon is depicted a man, on his knees, praying before the image of the Mother of God. Below the image are usually written the opening words of the story: "There was a certain transgressor".

« Last Edit: April 05, 2010, 06:50:22 PM by trevor72694 » Logged

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« Reply #11 on: April 05, 2010, 06:42:54 PM »

Christ is risen! Indeed He is risen!

In addition to all of the great advice that has been given, I would like to share the following quote:

"The means to confirm and strengthen Christian hope are prayer, especially frequent and sincere prayer, confession of our sins, frequent reading of the Word of God, and, above all, frequent communion of the holy and life-giving sacraments of the Body and Blood of Christ." St John of Kronstadt

It sounds easy to do, but I assure you, it isn't.

God bless you on your journey my friend!
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« Reply #12 on: April 05, 2010, 10:42:23 PM »

Christ is risen! Indeed He is risen!

In addition to all of the great advice that has been given, I would like to share the following quote:

"The means to confirm and strengthen Christian hope are prayer, especially frequent and sincere prayer, confession of our sins, frequent reading of the Word of God, and, above all, frequent communion of the holy and life-giving sacraments of the Body and Blood of Christ." St John of Kronstadt

It sounds easy to do, but I assure you, it isn't.

God bless you on your journey my friend!

Great quote. Holy Father John of Kronstadt pray to God for us!
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« Reply #13 on: April 05, 2010, 10:50:50 PM »

you may find it helpful to place an icon of Christ or the Theotokos or a saint around your computer/desk area.  You may also wish to say a little prayer before you log onto the internet. 



- I usually also will "save as desktop image" an icon jpg! It is much harder to sin with the image of our Lord before our eyes!
 

May God preserve you!

I have also done this! 

By the way, I don't want to suggest that you use a jpg, etc. instead of a real icon. I don't think there's a blessing for an electronic image file, lol. A real icon that has been blessed is best, but using the image for the desktop can also be helpful just as a reminder. IMO, better a desktop image that reminds one of God than just some random picture of a palm tree or whatever. At the cathedral bookstore near where I live they sell little stick-on icons, too, which have been blessed, and you can put them just about anywhere:

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)
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1 Samuel 25:22 (KJV)
So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.
Tikhon.of.Colorado
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« Reply #14 on: April 05, 2010, 10:55:58 PM »

you may find it helpful to place an icon of Christ or the Theotokos or a saint around your computer/desk area.  You may also wish to say a little prayer before you log onto the internet. 



- I usually also will "save as desktop image" an icon jpg! It is much harder to sin with the image of our Lord before our eyes!
 

May God preserve you!

I have also done this! 

By the way, I don't want to suggest that you use a jpg, etc. instead of a real icon. I don't think there's a blessing for an electronic image file, lol. A real icon that has been blessed is best, but using the image for the desktop can also be helpful just as a reminder. IMO, better a desktop image that reminds one of God than just some random picture of a palm tree or whatever. At the cathedral bookstore near where I live they sell little stick-on icons, too, which have been blessed, and you can put them just about anywhere:

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)
my church sells icon magnets!  I have been thinking of getting a couple for my locker.  (an away-from-home, mini icon corner) Grin
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"It is true that I am not always faithful, but I never lose courage, I leave myself in the Arms of Our Lord." - St. Thérèse of Lisieux
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« Reply #15 on: April 05, 2010, 11:00:46 PM »

I thought of another thing that seems to help. I can't say I have kept any sort of "record" on this so I can't say this with scientific certainty, lol, but it seems to me that when I neglect intercessory prayer for others, I am more likely to fall into temptation and sin. Sometimes it seems like just spending plenty of time praying for others gives me "better results" in my personal battles than actually spending a lot of time praying for myself! I'm not sure why this is. But it does seem to work. I find if I take time to pray for others in my morning prayers, for example, that I feel I am strengthened in my own fight throughout the day.

Has anyone else ever experienced a correlation between praying for others and enervation of lustful passion, or other sins and foibles and passions?
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1 Samuel 25:22 (KJV)
So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.
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« Reply #16 on: April 05, 2010, 11:14:29 PM »

Hello, All.

Chist is Risen!

I have a problem that I need advice on.  

In high school, on TV, the radio, the internet, etc.  there are alot of temptations that can lead a Christian astray.  Being that I'm 15, the hormones don't help much either!  I was told by my godfather that life becomes harder when you join the True Church.  I now know what he means.  I have been to confession once.  after confession, I fealt like I was clean, I fealt happy.  

but, four times since confession (which isn't that much, considering that before finding the Church, I would do this every day.) I have been taken over by lust when on the internet and viewed, let's just say, "less-than-Christian" things.  

when I go on the computer, at certain times of the day, I feel like an energy in my body is awakened, and I can't help but do it's bidding.  It's rather scary, actually.  Now, I'm actually excited for confession.  I want to stop this terrible habit, and the only way is through God's mercy.  

now, I feel like I have lost something.....like I've failed.  I really wated to stop after my first confession  Cry

And at school, people are alwayse talking about sexually obscene topics.  the other day, a friend old me to go home, type a phrase into google, and push the "I'm feeling lucky" button.  Had I known what the word ment, I would not have done this.  It was a picture of a vaginal disease.  why on Earth he would tell my to search for that is beyond me.

Friends, how can I shake this demon from my back?

any advice would be very appreciated.

I seen that you have put on a filter that is good.  There is a site, protestant, they help with porn addiction and fight the porn producers they have accountability programs at http://xxxchurch.com/ . This is were they will direct you http://x3watch.com/   There accountability software will send as an e-mail all the porn sites you visit to anyone and everyone you choose.  

« Last Edit: April 05, 2010, 11:15:21 PM by Mivac » Logged
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« Reply #17 on: April 05, 2010, 11:23:57 PM »

If I may offer my humble advice, which you of course do not have to take, here is what has worked for me.

Many men struggle with viewing pornographic images on the internet. It is simply so easy and seemingly private that it is almost impossible not to give in. When I was your age over a decade ago, I thought that I would not struggle with such temptations if I was married and able to "have sex", thinking somehow that marriage was a safe haven against the temptation. Unfortunately, that is not true, and marriage is not a cure-all for these things.

So what can you do? Should you despair and give up hope? Of course not.

The first thing you have to do is be honest with yourself, and realize that no matter how much you do not want to sin in your heart, another part of you does want to sin, and will in certain moments of weakness if you allow yourself to have the means to sin available. On this point a certain passage of Holy Scripture has become my motto:

Quote from: Matthew 5:30 (NIV)
And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

What does this passage mean? Should you mutilate yourself?

It means that we should cut off whatever things in our lives lead us into sin. You have to be honest and realize that when you refuse to repent of a sin, you are in danger of damnation. You should fear hell and the judgment of Christ enough to do what is necessary to remove the sin. In this case, the thing which is causing you to sin is your computer. So should you get rid of your computer? Well, this might become necessary at some point if other options do not work, but most likely not.

Once you are honest with yourself, be honest with someone else about your struggle. Your priest is a great first step, but he cannot micromanage your life. You need to talk to a close Christian friend, perhaps your Godfather, about your temptations, even just in a general way. Something like "I struggle not looking at all of the garbage on the internet."

Here is a program that you can download for free that lets you filter content out of your computer:

http://www1.k9webprotection.com/

Install it, and then have someone come over to your house like your Godfather or someone else to keep you accountable. Go through the filtering options with them, and be totally honest. Cut off all the things that will be a temptation. There is no sense in only going halfway. There is no harm in being overly cautious. After the settings have been selected, and this next part is why you need the other person, have them select a password, and then do not let them tell you what it is.

Now, even in your times of weakness, your computer will simply block the access, and there is no way to override it without the password. So if you're close enough to your dad or someone you live with to have them do the password, then that will likely be more feasible then having someone come all the way over to your house for this reason. You'd likely have to explain to your parents why somebody from church was coming over anyway, so the awkward conversation might still occur regardless. If your parents are Christians, then more than judging you I would think that would appreciate your honesty and be glad to help you without being too intrusive.

All of that to say that this has worked for me. My wife knows the password, and I never will, simply because I cannot trust myself. All she knows is that the temptation is just too great for me without safeguards, no matter how much I love Christ or her, there are always times of weakness, often when we least expect them. She loves and respects me for my honest in this, and any good Christian will do the same for you.

Obviously doing this one simple thing will not remove every impulse for sexual sin or cut off access to material from other avenues, but it will take care of one primary source; a hand which causes the sin. May God forgive us all, and may you have strength against the enemy by the power of our Lord Jesus Christ.

 Grin Grin I don't feel silly for thinking you posting this link is a gift from God!!!  THANKS SO MUCH!!!  I've been looking for a blocker that won't take up space on my hard drive....this is perfect!! I have just, with your help, removed my temptation (on the internet, anyway).  thanks so much!

There is also a free program available that emails your web history to a friend of your choosing.  http://x3watch.com/ 
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« Reply #18 on: April 05, 2010, 11:39:51 PM »



I seen that you have put on a filter that is good.  There is a site, protestant, they help with porn addiction and fight the porn producers they have accountability programs at http://xxxchurch.com/ . This is were they will direct you http://x3watch.com/   There accountability software will send as an e-mail all the porn sites you visit to anyone and everyone you choose.  



Looks like you beat me to it.
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« Reply #19 on: April 06, 2010, 08:33:34 AM »

Has anyone else ever experienced a correlation between praying for others and enervation of lustful passion, or other sins and foibles and passions?
Very much so! Unfortunately, strength often wanes.

Although it's very simplistic, the little children's chorus I learned in Protestant Sunday School many years ago rings quite true here in this context: 
Jesus and others and you - what a wonderful way to spell JOY!
Jesus and others and you - in the life of each girl and each boy!
J is for Jesus, for He has first place;
O is for others we see face to face;
Y is for you - in whatever you do, put yourself third and spell joy.
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Tikhon.of.Colorado
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« Reply #20 on: April 11, 2010, 03:00:50 PM »

I just want to add something.  I find that it helps when I have confessed this two times (I confessed this last time, and am forcing myself to stop, by whatever means necessary) and I think to myself (before looking at pornography) "Do I really want to have to tell Fr. ___ that I fell into this dirty habit again?  Is it really worth hearing the dissipointment in his voice?"  This does it for me.  I really don't want to dissapoint my priest, as he has become a sort of role model. 

I also find that I look at pornography when I don't say my morning prayers.
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« Reply #21 on: April 11, 2010, 03:19:32 PM »

I just want to add something.  I find that it helps when I have confessed this two times (I confessed this last time, and am forcing myself to stop, by whatever means necessary) and I think to myself (before looking at pornography) "Do I really want to have to tell Fr. ___ that I fell into this dirty habit again?

Orthodox practice (praxis in Greek) involves Discipline and MindsetNo one can impose both of these concepts on you; you have to nurture both within yourself.  

Is it really worth hearing the dissipointment in his voice?"  This does it for me.  I really don't want to dissapoint my priest, as he has become a sort of role model. 

I also find that I look at pornography when I don't say my morning prayers.

Clear your browser's history and cache and avoid the temptation whether at home or at a public Internet site.   Smiley
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