Dear Mr. Easter Bunny,
Contrary to what you've been told, just because I converted to the Orthodox Church some years ago, you have not been banished from our holiday celebration.
In fact, you are welcome to come over on the joyous day. We can't let you in for the service (animals, except for cats, are not allowed in Orthodox Churches), but we have a special way to make that up to you.
Around 1pm in the afternoon, you will be the guest of honor at our outdoor barbecue. You see, ever since I met Greeks, I discovered that you serve more than the purpose of just a) being a pet and b) giving little kids chocolate eggs once a year.
So around 1 pm on Sunday, April 4, please feel free to hop on over to my backyard. If you arrive early, hop right on up to the grill and get a whiff of all the fresh vegetables we will have cooking already (we had plenty of them left over from Lent).
Please don't be late though--we can't start the party without you!