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Author Topic: These are the moments that I hate my life...  (Read 1103 times) Average Rating: 0
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88Devin12
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« on: March 18, 2010, 06:13:39 PM »

For the past several weeks, i've been working my tail end off on this architecture project to get it as far along as I can. In fact, I've sacrificed the last 2-3 weekends just to work on the project. Now, the day is almost here where we have mid-term critiques. I had planned all week to work hard on the project, printing out my drawings and getting the model finished so that I could get it done early, and attend Thursday night's Canon. However, my teacher decided to be a perfectionist and wants me to change the drawings, and wants me to make changes to my project.
Today it looked like I would not make it to Church tonight, though I would still be finished with my project early. However, as it appears now, I'm probably going to be working late, and because of computer problems, I cannot redo my drawings the way he wants them done...

I'm just sick and tired of working hard, then getting nothing for it. My teacher clearly wants more, and I'm sick of working hard, just to be told "do better"...

It makes me downright angry when I have to miss church because of a stupid school project. Church is so much more important to me, and I would rather lose a letter grade and miss a service.

There is a part of me that just wants to explode and tell my teacher what I really think of his suggestions. I absolutely love architecture, but it's just this part that I hate. Yet, everytime it comes to this, I feel like quitting. We are human and are not perfect, so there is no way our teachers should EVER expect perfection...

It's moments like this, that I sometimes not only hate my life, but I feel consumed by anger and desire to see those who (I perceive) have hurt me to die or be punished in some way. I know this is far from a Christian feeling...

With my rant over with... I ask for you prayers that I can endure this and get through it...
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« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2010, 08:04:09 PM »

Lord have mercy!
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« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2010, 08:17:37 PM »

I can relate. I did 3 years of television and film. Our film teacher in second year and TV in third year were micro-managers. Light your scene like this. Use this tape. Much of the time the artistic license was on the teacher's need to relive their heyday in the industry.

I'll pray for your endurance and for you to come out of this stronger.
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« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2010, 08:34:13 PM »

Devin, this all sounds so frustrating! I'm so sorry your teachers have to be so demanding and difficult. Everyone needs a good balance of praise along with any constructive criticism-it sounds like you are just getting too much negativity and not enough appreciation.

But I know you are a very conscientious and devoted young man and I hope you can perservere even throughout these difficulties. I am often reminded of the young interns I met when I was in hospital. They were on their feet working so hard from early in the morning till late at night and sometimes the surgeon would scoffingly correct them in front of the patients and I would see the look of exhausted frustration cross these dear young men's faces (well, one of the young interns was verging on dear, but most of the others seemed more like robots than humans-but no wonder, right?).

Hang in there, Devin. You can do it!!!
« Last Edit: March 18, 2010, 08:35:26 PM by Rosehip » Logged

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« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2010, 09:34:29 PM »

I hope things will ease up soon for you.

I know what it is like to work for Profs like that all too well.  One prof assigned each member of his research team a blackberry (paid for by the faculty), so he could always get a hold of us for "Comp. Sci. emergencies". 

Oddly enough, some of my favourite professors are like that.
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88Devin12
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« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2010, 10:48:28 PM »

thanks everyone! unfortunately right now, I'm trying to take the advice of my teacher, but it's only making my project look worse, so i feel like I have no choice but to ignore him... I really hope it doesn't affect my grade much.
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« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2010, 01:05:14 AM »

I remember a time when my teacher had a problem with my work, I had done it in that structure all times and she had never advised me to change it. One day she had a problem and she sent it to me to correct for the first time, I fixed it and she said that she wouldn't take it anymore, I was never advised that she would only let me turn it in on a monday twice. She never cleared that with me, she gave me an F and I'm still failing the class for that one five point paper. It's like they have hidden rules and take them out when they want to or when they are having a bad day.
 I suggest that you pray for him in return it will help you aswell.
You are in my prayers.
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88Devin12
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« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2010, 01:09:42 AM »

Thank you Smiley

Apparently I'm not alone, my classmates feel the same way as well. I know it sounds horrible, but it makes me feel better than I'm not alone. Also, the other students I talked to agreed and said that his suggestions made it worse, so hopefully I can re-print tomorrow, but not sure if that is going to happen...

Again, thank you!
« Last Edit: March 19, 2010, 01:11:23 AM by 88Devin12 » Logged
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« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2010, 01:55:58 AM »

Lord have Mercy.
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xuxana
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« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2010, 04:56:30 AM »

Thank you Smiley

Apparently I'm not alone, my classmates feel the same way as well. I know it sounds horrible, but it makes me feel better than I'm not alone. Also, the other students I talked to agreed and said that his suggestions made it worse, so hopefully I can re-print tomorrow, but not sure if that is going to happen...

Again, thank you!
no. you aren't alone.  you think your life is messed up? read the Book of Job.  his scenario was much worse. but he never lost faith... EVER. and he prevailed & GOD rewarded him in the end.  but don't wish evil on others. don't wish ill will EVER.  the devil seeks out the weak amongst us so be strong & put up a solid fight with your negative thoughts.  the devil is a lonely man, too so naturally, misery loves company. don't be his buddy.

Romans 12:21 "Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good."

oh... and do the Inexhaustible Cup Akathist every night b4 bedtime but replace  the words "alcoholic" and "drunkneness" with the words negative thoughts and depression.

GOD BLESS you & keep your chin up. ^_^


« Last Edit: March 19, 2010, 04:57:49 AM by xuxana » Logged

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« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2010, 09:11:30 AM »

Lord, have mercy!
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« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2010, 10:51:47 AM »

Well, as someone who lives, works, shops, and worships in buildings designed by architects, I can tell you from my perspective that I want the architect to be perfect. As hard as you think your professors are now, the job will be that much harder. So my best advice is to endure it and learn from it, so that the experience will train you to be a better employee than you would have otherwise been. Some of the professors I disliked most while I was taking their classes I have since come to realize were teaching me the most valuable things I've ever learned. Perhaps once you've moved on from this moment, you too will appreciate the work your professor is doing.

Lord have mercy on Your servant Devin.
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« Reply #12 on: March 19, 2010, 12:31:55 PM »

"The customer is always right."  In this case, the customer is your teacher.  Do your job the way he wants it done, get paid, and avoid working for him in the future.

Missing one service due to circumstances beyond your control is not worth the anger brewing in your heart.
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88Devin12
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« Reply #13 on: March 19, 2010, 12:43:27 PM »

I know it's not worth the anger, but it's the fact that he doesn't seem to appreciate how I've put my heart and soul into the project...
None of the other students really like him as a teacher either, and sometimes I feel sorry for him, but if he isn't willing to put in the time to be our teacher when it actually matters, then he isn't much of a teacher at all. He really hasn't been there for us in previous weeks, and this is the week where traditionally the teachers back off and let us work. Even the other teachers in the class told us that this isn't formal and the drawings shouldn't be the best quality.

I probably shouldn't be feeling this depressed or like this is the worst thing ever, I know things could be much worse for me... But it hurts so much emotionally when someone tells you that your hard work isn't good enough...
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88Devin12
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« Reply #14 on: March 19, 2010, 05:33:27 PM »

Thank you so much for your prayers! Things were kind of opposite that I thought... After my review didn't go very well, my teacher actually took my side and told me to take their critiques with a grain of salt. Now the only thing I'm angry at is myself for being so stupid and allowing myself to misunderstand my teacher...

I'm sorry for causing any ruckus about this... Satan was effective in deceiving me... Next time I'll remember that it's just his lies...
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« Reply #15 on: March 19, 2010, 05:57:57 PM »

Thank you so much for your prayers! Things were kind of opposite that I thought... After my review didn't go very well, my teacher actually took my side and told me to take their critiques with a grain of salt. Now the only thing I'm angry at is myself for being so stupid and allowing myself to misunderstand my teacher...

I'm sorry for causing any ruckus about this... Satan was effective in deceiving me... Next time I'll remember that it's just his lies...

Don't be too hard on yourself. We all have our times of weakness and despair, but our faith is what gets us through. Just yesterday I had my own issues, but our friends and our faith helped me. Our suffering makes us stronger and our faith as hard as ever.
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xuxana
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« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2010, 03:54:46 AM »

Thank you so much for your prayers! Things were kind of opposite that I thought... After my review didn't go very well, my teacher actually took my side and told me to take their critiques with a grain of salt. Now the only thing I'm angry at is myself for being so stupid and allowing myself to misunderstand my teacher...

I'm sorry for causing any ruckus about this... Satan was effective in deceiving me... Next time I'll remember that it's just his lies...
amen!  this is why prayer works. sometimes we are confronted by difficult people and instead of reacting the way the devil expects us to do, we should respond by praying about the situation.

Mt.5:44"When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer." (MSG)
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