Author Topic: Cold Feet in my Reversion to Orthodoxy  (Read 1885 times)

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Offline Robb

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Cold Feet in my Reversion to Orthodoxy
« on: March 24, 2010, 11:28:25 PM »
I am very close to finally being re received into the OC from the RCC (officially).  However I'm starting to get cold feet about my reversion.  I am constantly thinking about whether or not what I'm doing is the Right choice.  I really want to return to Orthodoxy but am afraid that I don't have the strength or the will power to even make it through the door of a church.  I'm currently in discussion with a priest who says that he wants to meet with me but I keep putting off making an appointment with him for the reasons above.  When I originally converted way back in 2000, I was a lot younger and More daring in the things that I did and was willing to go through.  Yet now it's ten years later and I'm ten years older and have had a lot of the stuffing knocked out of me by life and past, personal experiences.  I really do believe what the OC does about theology and doctrine and have always felt myself closer to the EO concept of Christianity then the legalism and nit picking of the RCC.  However, I am so worn out by everything and so afraid of change that this is a much more difficult step for me to take then it previously was.

Yet my time in the RCC since reverting has left me with scars.  For one thing, I was involved with the traditionalist, Latin mass Catholics who are far more stricter and deadly serious about religion then what passes for the RCCC in most places these days.  These traditionalsit told me that I would defiantly go to Hell when I died if I left the RCC and that there was no salvation outside her fold (amongst many other threats that they hurled into me).  I want to be Orthodox but I still feel afraid to leave the RCC (even though I don't participate in her sacramental life anymore).  I fear and doubt whether my conversion is sincere and whether or not I will pay the ultimate price of loosing my immortal soul for leaving the RC fold.  I don't want to be like this, held hostage to a religion which I don't want to be part of because of these fears.  I want to become Orthodox, but oh these worries and fears.

Please keep me in your prayers.
Men may dislike truth, men may find truth offensive and inconvenient, men may persecute the truth, subvert it, try by law to suppress it. But to maintain that men have the final power over truth is blasphemy, and the last delusion. Truth lives forever, men do not.
-- Gustave Flaubert

Online Gebre Menfes Kidus

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Re: Cold Feet in my Reversion to Orthodoxy
« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2010, 12:53:14 AM »
May Our Lord grant you peace in your journey.

If our religious choices are based on fear, then we are listening to satan; but if they are based on the desire to draw nearer to God, then we are listening the Holy Spirit. (That's my humble opinion, FWIW.)

"Lord have mercy."

« Last Edit: March 25, 2010, 12:53:42 AM by Gebre Menfes Kidus »
"Whether it’s the guillotine, the hangman’s noose, or reciprocal endeavors of militaristic horror, radical evil will never be recompensed with radical punishment. The only answer, the only remedy, and the only truly effective response to radical evil is radical love."
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Offline jnorm888

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Re: Cold Feet in my Reversion to Orthodoxy
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2010, 01:11:35 AM »

Sometimes you just gotta stop thinking and start trusting. Taking a leap of faith is part of the process.

"loving one's enemies does not mean loving wickedness, ungodliness, adultery, or theft. Rather, it means loving the theif, the ungodly, and the adulterer." Clement of Alexandria 195 A.D.

Offline Tikhon.of.Colorado

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Re: Cold Feet in my Reversion to Orthodoxy
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2010, 01:49:43 AM »
Lord, have mercy!

Offline ozgeorge

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Re: Cold Feet in my Reversion to Orthodoxy
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2010, 06:32:10 AM »
Fear God. Nothing else is worthy of fear.
If you're living a happy life as a Christian, you're doing something wrong.

Offline GregoryLA

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Re: Cold Feet in my Reversion to Orthodoxy
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2010, 09:03:46 AM »
I'll respond to this properly when I have more time.  But just know that I will pray for you, Robb.  I'm sorry you're feeling like this.  I would definitely say go talk to a priest though.

Lord have mercy on your servant Robb!

Offline Heorhij

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Re: Cold Feet in my Reversion to Orthodoxy
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2010, 09:10:29 AM »
Robb, you are in my unworthy prayers. I am sorry those sectarians left scars on you. What Ozgeorge said: fear only God, nothing else is worth fearing. Do not "discuss" anything with an Orthodox priest, just listen and (as JNorm rightly pointed out), trust.
Love never fails.

Offline recent convert

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Re: Cold Feet in my Reversion to Orthodoxy
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2010, 09:49:10 AM »
If I may say that since becoming Orthodox (chrismated holy Saturday 2005), I feel that the mystery of our Lord's salvation is so great, the potential  and hope of it for so many, retain the fear of the Lord to never assume self justification and that is what makes prayer so necessary for ourself and in intercession for all others freed from juridical concepts and am able to rest in the Lord and only (no small task) need to cultivate courage to face what may happen in life until death. May you be blessed with the sobriety and confidence of love, faith, and hope in your journey. Lord, have mercy.
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Offline Thomas

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Re: Cold Feet in my Reversion to Orthodoxy
« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2010, 09:56:23 AM »
Beloved to the Lord the servant of God Robb,

I will  continue to offer prayers for you as your journey to returning to the faith.  The only thing you must do to re-enter the Holy Orthodox Church is to confess to a priest, you are already an Orthodox Christian, you just went off the strait and narrow path the faith has and were sidetracked for a time. Your heart is telling you that you should return. Lord have Mercy on us all!

« Last Edit: March 25, 2010, 09:56:55 AM by Thomas »
Your brother in Christ ,

Offline Carl Kraeff (Second Chance)

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Re: Cold Feet in my Reversion to Orthodoxy
« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2010, 11:00:58 AM »
I am reminded of the prodigal son who returned to his father. The result as you know was a surprise both to the son and his brother. Nonetheless, he was met with love and rejoicing. It only took the son a short physical act of traveling back to his father's house to receive the incomparable gift.