My dear friends,
First of all, I wanted to thank everyone for their prayers--they mean more to me than you'll ever know.
Secondly, thanks to your prayers and by God's grace, a few things are working themselves out, 2 of them by next week hopefully, & we have a work schedule through the 20th (taking that week by week). Also, the smoking-thing Father and I worked on and modified to something more to my strength to handle, meaning a gradual getting-used-to like the actual fast.
However, I broke only 2 days: Saturday (which I bounced back Sunday and Monday), and yesterday (and the reason why is what I am going to speak about).
Two friends of mine, a husband and wife whom I visited 10 years ago when their daughters were but toddlers. This is hard to explain without looking like a complete fool so I'll do my best. There is a past between the three of us, something I guess you could call an 'intimate' past (at the time, they had an 'open marriage' but that's another story). We kept losing touch, only to be found again several times over the course of these years and got back in touch back last summer. They've had their problems since then and what little I know (I didn't pry cuz it isn't my business) is that she left him for awhile and now it's left her paranoid and in pain I fear (and feel).
Now he and I are much closer than she and I are, and it's always been that way, but that doesn't mean that I don't respect her. I don't want to go into too much detail I really don't cuz I don't know how much I should go into.
Ok. Well, now apparently she's gone through his IM's and is now mad at me and believes that he and I have been doing things we shouldn't (& which are unfounded and completely untrue), and has now blocked me and refuses to listen to me, and Lord knows what has happened between him and her. 10 years of love and trust have been shattered and it has left me in pain, tears, anger, hurt, and on the verge of explosion. I talked to him for a few minutes yesterday (not as much as I would have liked, he was gone when I came back from the store so now -I- am paranoid that he's mad at me now too---that is my nature, as I worry too much).
So to keep this long story short, would you please be willing to pray for:
Tina (the wife), that the Lord heals her of her illness and lets her see how much she is loved, not just by her husband but by me. Also to treat her husband better (that was one reason I didn't talk to her as much as him: everytime we did speak, she always said something negative about him, when he never once said anything bad about her, in fact he's been encouraging me to talk TO her).
Tom (the husband), I love him so very dearly. He's been a rock for me as well, for in some cases as of late especially, if it wasn't for him, I would have collasped completely mentally. He's doing everything he can (I believe) to be a good husband and father.
Jocelyn & Jillian, their daughters I believe that are 10 and 12, such beautiful girls too!
And for me, that I do not lose my mind or my heart anymore than I have and that I do not cave to this anger and do something I might regret. I'm so torn up by this right now that I don't know what to do anymore, and am just sick of losing those I love with all my heart.
Thanks guys for listening to me ramble (as I always do) and again, for your prayers, they do mean a lot! God bless all of you!