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Author Topic: Conflicted  (Read 1549 times) Average Rating: 0
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pious1
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« on: February 19, 2010, 04:14:27 PM »

I need some advice, I was asked to be godfather to my wife's niece who is being baptized April 11. However, her family is Roman Catholic, and I as a practicing Ukrainian Orthodox, have the blessing of the graves that Sunday, which is the Sunday after Easter. This is signifigant in that among the graves in the cemetary is the grave of my mother who passed away last year and this would be the first year her grave is blessed by the priest after easter. I feel very conflicted, the baptism cant be rescheduled and its my first time being a godfather plus its my wifes family. On the other hand, this is an important event in both the Ukrainian Orthodox Church, my family, and a sense of loyalty to my mother and her family.

My wife says she supports whatever decision I make, but no matter what I chose, I hurt one side of the family. FYI my wife doesnt make it any eaiser when she says that the blessing of the graves come once a year and our niece's batpism is a one time event especially with me having been asked to be godfather.
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Marc1152
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« Reply #1 on: February 19, 2010, 04:44:08 PM »

I need some advice, I was asked to be godfather to my wife's niece who is being baptized April 11. However, her family is Roman Catholic, and I as a practicing Ukrainian Orthodox, have the blessing of the graves that Sunday, which is the Sunday after Easter. This is signifigant in that among the graves in the cemetary is the grave of my mother who passed away last year and this would be the first year her grave is blessed by the priest after easter. I feel very conflicted, the baptism cant be rescheduled and its my first time being a godfather plus its my wifes family. On the other hand, this is an important event in both the Ukrainian Orthodox Church, my family, and a sense of loyalty to my mother and her family.

My wife says she supports whatever decision I make, but no matter what I chose, I hurt one side of the family. FYI my wife doesnt make it any eaiser when she says that the blessing of the graves come once a year and our niece's batpism is a one time event especially with me having been asked to be godfather.

See to the living...
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Carl Kraeff (Second Chance)
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« Reply #2 on: February 19, 2010, 05:29:14 PM »

I need some advice, I was asked to be godfather to my wife's niece who is being baptized April 11. However, her family is Roman Catholic, and I as a practicing Ukrainian Orthodox, have the blessing of the graves that Sunday, which is the Sunday after Easter. This is signifigant in that among the graves in the cemetary is the grave of my mother who passed away last year and this would be the first year her grave is blessed by the priest after easter. I feel very conflicted, the baptism cant be rescheduled and its my first time being a godfather plus its my wifes family. On the other hand, this is an important event in both the Ukrainian Orthodox Church, my family, and a sense of loyalty to my mother and her family.

My wife says she supports whatever decision I make, but no matter what I chose, I hurt one side of the family. FYI my wife doesnt make it any eaiser when she says that the blessing of the graves come once a year and our niece's batpism is a one time event especially with me having been asked to be godfather.

See to the living...

Ditto & may God bless you either way.
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« Reply #3 on: February 19, 2010, 05:30:53 PM »

I need some advice, I was asked to be godfather to my wife's niece who is being baptized April 11. However, her family is Roman Catholic, and I as a practicing Ukrainian Orthodox, have the blessing of the graves that Sunday, which is the Sunday after Easter.

The  visiting of the cemeteries after Easter-Pascha has been transferred in some places to Sunday.  BUT Radonitsa and the visiting of the graves is traditionally the second Tuesday after Easter/Pascha.  See if your priest is able to go with you to visit your mother's grave on the Tuesday 13th April, and if he cannot then at least go yourself and sing "Christ is Risen" over your mother's grave.

It is very likely that there will be other priests and faithful from other Orthodox Churches at the cemeteries on the second Tuesday.  Ring around the parishes and check what time of the day the priest is going.  See if he can include your mother's grave while he is there.

God grant eternal rest and eternal memory to her.

Hieromonk Ambrose
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« Reply #4 on: February 19, 2010, 05:34:45 PM »

Fwiw, I do not believe in being a sponsor to one's relatives, whether by blood or by marriage, in any Orthodox Sacrament.

I also do not believe in being a sponsor in any non-Orthodox Sacrament.

Do not allow these words of thought to impact your decision making.  Make your decision and stand by it.   Smiley
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« Reply #5 on: February 19, 2010, 06:22:51 PM »

Do you think it acceptable to be the godparent of someone being raised in the Roman tradition?
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« Reply #6 on: February 19, 2010, 07:23:11 PM »

Do you think it acceptable to be the godparent of someone being raised in the Roman tradition?

Always a tricky situation for an Orthodox person.  In the first instance though it is a mark of the high esteem which the parents of the child have for the godparent they select.  They see him as a good person, and in this instance a religious person, and someone whom they would like to have in their child's life as a guardian and a guide and a role model.  So a refusal may be very hurtful and it could even harm family relationships.

Orthodox priests will generally not be enthusiastic about a parishioner acting as godparent to a non-Orthodox child but they will usually go along with it for the reasons mentioned above.

If the Orthodox godparent is pious, then later in life as the child grows there will be plenty of opportunities to exercise the role of a godparent - taking the child to Orthodox services and festivals and cultural events.    Giving the child icons for his or her bedroom.  Talking about Christianity, talking about things from the lives of Saints, encouraging a desire for holiness.  Given time this could bring the child, maybe as a young adult, to look more intensely at the Orthodox Church and the benefit of becoming a member.
« Last Edit: February 19, 2010, 07:23:36 PM by Irish Hermit » Logged
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« Reply #7 on: February 19, 2010, 07:33:36 PM »

PS.  The influence of a godparent on the religious choices of a child later in life should not be underestimated.

I have a brother who is a very devout Roman Catholic and the Greek bishop permitted him to be the the godfather to all three children of a Greek family who are close friends and work in the same profession.

Guess where those three Greek childen, now in their late teenage years and early 20's, go to Mass each Sunday?! 
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« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2010, 11:39:27 PM »

I need some advice, I was asked to be godfather to my wife's niece who is being baptized April 11. However, her family is Roman Catholic, and I as a practicing Ukrainian Orthodox, have the blessing of the graves that Sunday, which is the Sunday after Easter. This is signifigant in that among the graves in the cemetary is the grave of my mother who passed away last year and this would be the first year her grave is blessed by the priest after easter. I feel very conflicted, the baptism cant be rescheduled and its my first time being a godfather plus its my wifes family. On the other hand, this is an important event in both the Ukrainian Orthodox Church, my family, and a sense of loyalty to my mother and her family.

My wife says she supports whatever decision I make, but no matter what I chose, I hurt one side of the family. FYI my wife doesnt make it any eaiser when she says that the blessing of the graves come once a year and our niece's batpism is a one time event especially with me having been asked to be godfather.

I would first test the waters on that rescheduling idea.  If that's a no go, I'd go with the baptism, as your mother has already gone to her reward and your niece is just starting out.
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