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Author Topic: Finding an Orthodox spouse  (Read 9620 times) Average Rating: 5
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Hamartolos
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« on: February 02, 2010, 01:06:52 PM »

This has been something on my mind even while I was Catholic.

It's quite difficult to find a woman (or man for the opposite sex) who is a practicing Christian, and is even more difficult to find a practicing Orthodox!  My question, is there any place where Orthodox Christians can meet up with others of the opposite sex?  I have been told before that the Antiochian village is such a place.  Your thoughts?
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« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2010, 01:13:03 PM »

A lot of times a priest can be a good matchmaker.  Or you could just go to a convent and look for young visiting women. Wink
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« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2010, 01:20:40 PM »

I met my wife on an Orthodox email list. Maybe you just aren't private messaging enough women folk here at OC.net. You have to cast your line quite a bit before you can expect to catch a fish Wink
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« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2010, 02:06:09 PM »

I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.
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« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2010, 02:16:48 PM »

I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

There was a joke at the Protestant college that I went to that most of the women were there to get their MRS degree  Cheesy
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« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2010, 02:19:06 PM »

I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

There was a joke at the Protestant college that I went to that most of the women were there to get their MRS degree  Cheesy

Yup. Sounds mighty familiar! Wink
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« Reply #6 on: February 02, 2010, 02:22:18 PM »

Yes, it was not a Bible college I attended, but a Bridal college  Cheesy.  And yes, I met my wife there.
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« Reply #7 on: February 02, 2010, 03:01:03 PM »

Sorry for posting again, but just found this.

"TROUGHWOOD, New York -- St. Vladyka's Press has released a new book, Dumped But Dispassionate: Orthodox Men Recovering From Rejection, a spiritual advice book on how to recover from the loss of being told to take a hike by lovely Orthodox women."

http://www.theoniondome.com/2010/02/thomas/

Be prepared  Cheesy !
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« Reply #8 on: February 02, 2010, 03:28:13 PM »

I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

There was a joke at the Protestant college that I went to that most of the women were there to get their MRS degree  Cheesy
Yup.  "Ring by spring, or your money back." Cool
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« Reply #9 on: February 02, 2010, 03:33:38 PM »

I met my wife on an Orthodox email list. Maybe you just aren't private messaging enough women folk here at OC.net. You have to cast your line quite a bit before you can expect to catch a fish Wink

LOL. Just make sure that fish isn't already caught (profiles don't show marital marital status).

If I was so able to, I'd go to gathering at feasts (like the Dormition at the Dormition monastery), Pan-Orthodox Events etc. (I do so anyway, but without wife searching on the agenda).  You get to know a wide circle of Orthodox who are somehow more than nominal that way.
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« Reply #10 on: February 02, 2010, 03:35:13 PM »

Sorry for posting again, but just found this.

"TROUGHWOOD, New York -- St. Vladyka's Press has released a new book, Dumped But Dispassionate: Orthodox Men Recovering From Rejection, a spiritual advice book on how to recover from the loss of being told to take a hike by lovely Orthodox women."

http://www.theoniondome.com/2010/02/thomas/

Be prepared  Cheesy !
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Funny but real experience (that had nothing to do with the breakup of a relationship):  A few years ago one of our middle-aged ladies was asked to read the Epistle for a festal Liturgy.  When it came time for her to announce the Alleluia after the Epistle, the choir was prepared to sing the response to our standard festal setting, which is not set to any of the eight tones, so she proclaimed it as such: "In the ninth tone...". laugh  We still kid her about her goofup on occasion.
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« Reply #11 on: February 02, 2010, 03:41:03 PM »

It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

Seems like just about every year, there are always couples from Hellenic College that get married. In fact, one of our OC.net brothers falls into that category.
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« Reply #12 on: February 02, 2010, 04:46:58 PM »

Let people know you're available. Us older folk often know other single people, but don't go around asking people their current status.
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« Reply #13 on: February 02, 2010, 05:16:55 PM »

This has been something on my mind even while I was Catholic.

It's quite difficult to find a woman (or man for the opposite sex) who is a practicing Christian, and is even more difficult to find a practicing Orthodox!  My question, is there any place where Orthodox Christians can meet up with others of the opposite sex?  I have been told before that the Antiochian village is such a place.  Your thoughts?

The local OCA Church here in Bethesda MD runs a regular Orthodox Singles night. They get litterally hundreds of people to show up. They also go on sky trips and such the like. About a dozen marriages have resulted... Send me a private message and I will send you an email address.
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« Reply #14 on: February 02, 2010, 05:32:38 PM »

Sounds good.  A big problem is the size of my parish (pretty small).  I've seen a couple attractive girls, but there are not very many social gatherings and most often the only service most people attend are the Sunday DL. 

I've never dated someone who attend church regularly..although I did date a Byzantine Catholic right before becoming Orthodox..that went well!  Roll Eyes

Usually, girls shy away once they know I attend Liturgy every week, and whatever else there is.  It's surprising to me because, I was fine when we first met, went on the first date, so on and so on...I think they are expecting me to morph into something once I reveal my 'double life' as an Orthodox Christian. 
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« Reply #15 on: February 02, 2010, 06:35:11 PM »

Enlist the aid of Saint Xenia of Saint Petersburg.  She is known for helping people find a good spouse.  Ask your priest to serve a Moleben to her, and don't worry, he won't think you are weird.  He'll know that people go to Saint Xenia for help in this matter.
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« Reply #16 on: February 02, 2010, 06:54:21 PM »

Enlist the aid of Saint Xenia of Saint Petersburg.  She is known for helping people find a good spouse.  Ask your priest to serve a Moleben to her, and don't worry, he won't think you are weird.  He'll know that people go to Saint Xenia for help in this matter.

Father, I can't say I agree. Everyone told me to do this, and it never worked at all. Call me a skeptic....
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« Reply #17 on: February 02, 2010, 07:14:18 PM »

I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

Doesn't Holy Cross | Hellenic College fit the bill?  Huh
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« Reply #18 on: February 02, 2010, 07:18:42 PM »

Enlist the aid of Saint Xenia of Saint Petersburg.  She is known for helping people find a good spouse.  Ask your priest to serve a Moleben to her, and don't worry, he won't think you are weird.  He'll know that people go to Saint Xenia for help in this matter.

Father, I can't say I agree. Everyone told me to do this, and it never worked at all. Call me a skeptic....

In that case it must be that God has called you to a life of holy celibacy.  Not even Saint Xenia can override Him on that...  But assuming that God may have it in mind for mctaviix to find a spouse a Moleben to Saint Xenia is still a good thing to do.

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« Reply #19 on: February 02, 2010, 07:20:02 PM »

Sounds good.  A big problem is the size of my parish (pretty small).  I've seen a couple attractive girls, but there are not very many social gatherings and most often the only service most people attend are the Sunday DL. 

I've never dated someone who attend church regularly..although I did date a Byzantine Catholic right before becoming Orthodox..that went well!  Roll Eyes

Usually, girls shy away once they know I attend Liturgy every week, and whatever else there is.  It's surprising to me because, I was fine when we first met, went on the first date, so on and so on...I think they are expecting me to morph into something once I reveal my 'double life' as an Orthodox Christian. 

When I lived in Atlanta, I formed an Orthodox Singles Group that was pan-Orthodox. We had almost 80 members and I'm still single!  Roll Eyes

Now that I'm back in New Jersey, the only "single" men in my parish are all widowers who are old enough to be my grandfather or great-grandfather. Personally, I'm open to dating non-Orthodox Christians who are open to my faith. Only 2% of Americans claim to be Orthodox, and an even smaller percentage of that are practicing.

I'm not holding my breath for an Orthodox Spouse; just a Christian who agrees to marry and raise our children in the church, and allow my to practice my faith.
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« Reply #20 on: February 02, 2010, 07:22:14 PM »

Katherine, that's a good thought...the parish community I dwell in is pretty tight, and have embraced me since day one...it has taken some time to have gotten used to talking to people I only see at Church...I'm still working on being comfortable enough to stay for coffee hour!

Hi Handmaiden, I think somebody mentioned that before...had I known about that prior to my freshmen year!  

BTW, thanks very much Father!  I knew about St. Xenia but not for that cause nor did I know about this particular supplication!  I'll throw it by my parish priest/spiritual father...if he thinks I'm weird for that, than he's already thought it for quite a while!  Cheesy
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« Reply #21 on: February 02, 2010, 07:23:11 PM »

Enlist the aid of Saint Xenia of Saint Petersburg.  She is known for helping people find a good spouse.  Ask your priest to serve a Moleben to her, and don't worry, he won't think you are weird.  He'll know that people go to Saint Xenia for help in this matter.

Father, I can't say I agree. Everyone told me to do this, and it never worked at all. Call me a skeptic....

In that case it must be that God has called you to a life of holy celibacy.  Not even Saint Xenia can override Him on that...  But assuming that God may have it in mind for mctaviix to find a spouse a Moleben to Saint Xenia is still a good thing to do.

Father, last year we had a Paraklesis for Saint Xenia of St. Petersburg where everyone in the church was either single or unemployed. (For those reading the forum who may be unaware, St. Xenia is the patron saint of the unemployed as well.)

A year later that same group is still single and unemployed.

Could it just be that God's timing is not our timing?
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« Reply #22 on: February 02, 2010, 07:26:45 PM »

I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

Doesn't Holy Cross | Hellenic College fit the bill?  Huh

I think it's a great idea! I simply wasn't aware of it when I posted. Have you ever studied there?
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« Reply #23 on: February 02, 2010, 07:27:42 PM »


When I lived in Atlanta, I formed an Orthodox Singles Group that was pan-Orthodox. We had almost 80 members and I'm still single!  Roll Eyes

Now that I'm back in New Jersey, the only "single" men in my parish are all widowers who are old enough to be my grandfather or great-grandfather. Personally, I'm open to dating non-Orthodox Christians who are open to my faith. Only 2% of Americans claim to be Orthodox, and an even smaller percentage of that are practicing.

I'm not holding my breath for an Orthodox Spouse; just a Christian who agrees to marry and raise our children in the church, and allow my to practice my faith.

I dig you there...I've often figured the chances of meeting someone who is practicing anything are slim, then asking them to go along with raising our kids in Orthodoxy shouldn't be that much of a problem.  Usually, too, the girls I have met in college are really immature...and I mean not 22 immature..like 13 immature!  That..I cannot deal with!

But Father is right on this one.  It's up to God...my spiritual father told me before..."If you're not meant to marry, you have to realize that and accept it".  It may be too early for me to know if that's my case or not...but if it is, it is.  Right now..I'm more fixed on trying to find someone who would be compatible and profitable for my soul, and I for theirs more than anything else. 

St. Xenia, intercede for us!
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« Reply #24 on: February 02, 2010, 07:28:54 PM »

Quote
In that case it must be that God has called you to a life of holy celibacy.

I don't consider it holy, and neither do I feel that "God" called me to it, quite frankly. I think it was just plain bad luck.
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« Reply #25 on: February 02, 2010, 07:29:52 PM »

I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

Doesn't Holy Cross | Hellenic College fit the bill?  Huh

I think it's a great idea! I simply wasn't aware of it when I posted. Have you ever studied there?

Not yet, but I hope to after I'm done with my present course of study. Several of my friends (including some posters here) have studied there and loved it. One met her husband there. Smiley
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« Reply #26 on: February 02, 2010, 07:32:59 PM »

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Not yet, but I hope to after I'm done with my present course of study. Several of my friends (including some posters here) have studied there and loved it. One met her husband there. 


Sounds hopeful...I hope you soon have the opportunity to do so-you are already so knowledgeable and it would be enjoyable and nice to have a chance to meet more Orthodox young people like yourself.
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« Reply #27 on: February 02, 2010, 09:15:32 PM »

Enlist the aid of Saint Xenia of Saint Petersburg.  She is known for helping people find a good spouse.  Ask your priest to serve a Moleben to her, and don't worry, he won't think you are weird.  He'll know that people go to Saint Xenia for help in this matter.

Father, I can't say I agree. Everyone told me to do this, and it never worked at all. Call me a skeptic....

My Orthodox girlfriend prayed regularly to meet someone, and I now pray that I am that "one". Smiley
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« Reply #28 on: February 02, 2010, 11:18:08 PM »

Well I'm single, never married, and interested/willing to meet a single Orthodox man around my age...I even tried to start a local Pan Orthodox Singles group, but out of all the various Orthodox Jurisdictions in our area only 1 one other single lived local and she was in her late teens, early 20s. There were 2 men in their mid-50s who were from towns an hour plus away who showed interest, but that was it. No offense to men in their 50s, but those of us in our 30s and late teens/early 20s aren't really interested in dating or marrying that far out of our age range. I'd personally prefer someone within at least 10 years of my age - a huge generational gap is difficult in any relationship.
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« Reply #29 on: February 03, 2010, 12:01:07 AM »

Right here! 27 year old male, no children, never married, no visible scars- likes art, reading and great food!  Grin
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« Reply #30 on: February 03, 2010, 12:10:21 AM »

Please remember that OC.net is not an online dating service. Wink
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« Reply #31 on: February 03, 2010, 12:54:18 AM »

I thought I've seen a Orthodox dating site on the web? Has anyone here given that a try?
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« Reply #32 on: February 03, 2010, 02:42:39 AM »

I thought I've seen a Orthodox dating site on the web? Has anyone here given that a try?

You have seen it at: http://www.orthodoxchristiandating.com/

Good luck. I'd say the ratio of men to women is about five to one.
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« Reply #33 on: February 03, 2010, 03:01:53 AM »

I thought I've seen a Orthodox dating site on the web? Has anyone here given that a try?

You have seen it at: http://www.orthodoxchristiandating.com/

Good luck. I'd say the ratio of men to women is about five to one.

Lol, worse than this forum (4.2 to 1). And I wonder how many of them are horny net geeks.
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« Reply #34 on: February 03, 2010, 03:16:42 AM »

Lol, worse than this forum (4.2 to 1).
How did you work that out?
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« Reply #35 on: February 03, 2010, 03:38:24 AM »

Lol, worse than this forum (4.2 to 1).
How did you work that out?

The board software performs the calculation based on members who specified gender when he/she registered.
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« Reply #36 on: February 03, 2010, 03:50:23 AM »

Lol, worse than this forum (4.2 to 1).
How did you work that out?

The board software performs the calculation based on members who specified gender when he/she registered.
Good Lord! I'd never noticed that!
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« Reply #37 on: February 03, 2010, 03:56:56 AM »

There are also 12,592.99 page views per day.   Wink
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« Reply #38 on: February 03, 2010, 04:04:00 AM »

Lol, worse than this forum (4.2 to 1).
How did you work that out?

The board software performs the calculation based on members who specified gender when he/she registered.
Good Lord! I'd never noticed that!
Yeah, it's actually listed in the forum stats.
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« Reply #39 on: February 03, 2010, 04:05:31 AM »

Yeah, as SolEX01 and Peter mentioned, OC.net does the math... I just swiped the data from the stats page. Now, where people get these fancy, in-depth stats, like how many posts per day someone had over a specific three month period, I have no idea.
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« Reply #40 on: February 03, 2010, 05:09:52 AM »

I thought I've seen a Orthodox dating site on the web? Has anyone here given that a try?

You have seen it at: http://www.orthodoxchristiandating.com/

Good luck. I'd say the ratio of men to women is about five to one.

Thanks for sharing the website. I just joined. Doing what I can to help to even out the membership - lol.

Anyway, right now only girls are actually on-line right this moment...2 from Romania. I'm off to sleep!
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« Reply #41 on: February 03, 2010, 07:52:30 AM »

I dig you there...I've often figured the chances of meeting someone who is practicing anything are slim, then asking them to go along with raising our kids in Orthodoxy shouldn't be that much of a problem.  Usually, too, the girls I have met in college are really immature...and I mean not 22 immature..like 13 immature!  That..I cannot deal with!

But Father is right on this one.  It's up to God...my spiritual father told me before..."If you're not meant to marry, you have to realize that and accept it".  It may be too early for me to know if that's my case or not...but if it is, it is.  Right now..I'm more fixed on trying to find someone who would be compatible and profitable for my soul, and I for theirs more than anything else. 

St. Xenia, intercede for us!

I would say something that helps is being "ready" for either path in life (celibacy or marriage).  If you're shooting only for 1 option, then (a) you may be disappointed if God's plan for you involves the other, or (b) you may plunge into the other and endure needless hardship.

If you're still relatively young (18-27 or so), then there are certainly places where you can meet dedicated Orthodox Christians - an Orthodox School (as Handmaiden suggested), working at a Summer Camp (where I met my wife), etc.  Just make sure that whatever option you pursue, you are comfortable with your life whether you find someone special or not: there's no sense enrolling in a College, or volunteering for 8 weeks of Camp, if your one and only goal is meeting a potential spouse - you'll be miserable if that doesn't happen, and will either be "out" money or time.

The essential underpinning to all this, though, is developing a relationship with the Lord that allows you to be comfortable with who you are, and what His plan for you is.  "These can only be done by prayer and fasting."

Several of my friends (including some posters here) have studied there and loved it. One met her husband there. Smiley 

She's an exception to the rule; engaged after only 4 or 5 months (he had her father's blessing after only 2 months), married before 1 year of dating.
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« Reply #42 on: February 03, 2010, 10:47:42 AM »

This has been something on my mind even while I was Catholic.

It's quite difficult to find a woman (or man for the opposite sex) who is a practicing Christian, and is even more difficult to find a practicing Orthodox!  My question, is there any place where Orthodox Christians can meet up with others of the opposite sex?  I have been told before that the Antiochian village is such a place.  Your thoughts?

The local OCA Church here in Bethesda MD runs a regular Orthodox Singles night. They get litterally hundreds of people to show up. They also go on sky trips and such the like. About a dozen marriages have resulted... Send me a private message and I will send you an email address.
I was going to mention the same group as well but, since you were first, I'll let you handle the inquiries.
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« Reply #43 on: February 03, 2010, 11:38:31 AM »

I dig you there...I've often figured the chances of meeting someone who is practicing anything are slim, then asking them to go along with raising our kids in Orthodoxy shouldn't be that much of a problem.  Usually, too, the girls I have met in college are really immature...and I mean not 22 immature..like 13 immature!  That..I cannot deal with!

But Father is right on this one.  It's up to God...my spiritual father told me before..."If you're not meant to marry, you have to realize that and accept it".  It may be too early for me to know if that's my case or not...but if it is, it is.  Right now..I'm more fixed on trying to find someone who would be compatible and profitable for my soul, and I for theirs more than anything else. 

St. Xenia, intercede for us!

I would say something that helps is being "ready" for either path in life (celibacy or marriage).  If you're shooting only for 1 option, then (a) you may be disappointed if God's plan for you involves the other, or (b) you may plunge into the other and endure needless hardship.

If you're still relatively young (18-27 or so), then there are certainly places where you can meet dedicated Orthodox Christians - an Orthodox School (as Handmaiden suggested), working at a Summer Camp (where I met my wife), etc.  Just make sure that whatever option you pursue, you are comfortable with your life whether you find someone special or not: there's no sense enrolling in a College, or volunteering for 8 weeks of Camp, if your one and only goal is meeting a potential spouse - you'll be miserable if that doesn't happen, and will either be "out" money or time.

The essential underpinning to all this, though, is developing a relationship with the Lord that allows you to be comfortable with who you are, and what His plan for you is.  "These can only be done by prayer and fasting."

Several of my friends (including some posters here) have studied there and loved it. One met her husband there. Smiley 

She's an exception to the rule; engaged after only 4 or 5 months (he had her father's blessing after only 2 months), married before 1 year of dating.

Thank you Father.  Your points make a lot of sense and ring quite full of good advice!  Grin  I really don't worry that much about whether or not it's in God's plan for me to marry or not.  This is something that did bother me a couple years ago, especially when I was Catholic and considering the priesthood.  However, at this point I simply am looking to give it my best try and seek the answer from God.  As I said earlier, I could have been married to one or two women before, but it's not viable to marry someone who isn't interested in God or Orthodoxy while having a deeper desire to become a priest.  This, of course, is something else that may or may not be in God's plan.  Finding someone who is a practicing Orthodox would be more of a true test to whether or not married life is in the cards for me.  I hope that makes sense.
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« Reply #44 on: February 04, 2010, 10:44:42 PM »

I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

Doesn't Holy Cross | Hellenic College fit the bill?  Huh

St Vladimir's fits that bill, too.  Lots of women go there.  (And not to land a husband, although sometimes male and female seminarians get married there.)

Last time I went to HCHC, I was surprised at how much Greek they use.  St Vladimir's uses English, and costs half as much.  There's no competition in my mind.  

Plus, St Vlad's keeps everyone on campus as much as possible, so it's probably easier to make friends.
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« Reply #45 on: February 04, 2010, 10:51:57 PM »

I don't want to make you feel bad but I think I must say this.

I also thought that I should look for an Orthodox spouse, that a girl raised in Orthodoxy would share my values and principles, but it isn't always this way.

I had experiences with girls from an Orthodox country in Eastern Europe. I thought this would work because they were Orthodox. How wrong I was, I have come to regret that I ever met these girls.
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« Reply #46 on: February 04, 2010, 11:38:04 PM »

I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

Doesn't Holy Cross | Hellenic College fit the bill?  Huh

St Vladimir's fits that bill, too.  Lots of women go there.  (And not to land a husband, although sometimes male and female seminarians get married there.)

Last time I went to HCHC, I was surprised at how much Greek they use.  St Vladimir's uses English, and costs half as much.  There's no competition in my mind.  

Plus, St Vlad's keeps everyone on campus as much as possible, so it's probably easier to make friends.

St. Vlad's doesn't offer undergrad degrees; Hellenic College does. That is why I listed HC | HC, because of their undergrad programs.

I have other reasons I prefer HC | HC, but I'll keep them to myself.
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« Reply #47 on: February 05, 2010, 12:43:51 AM »

I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

Doesn't Holy Cross | Hellenic College fit the bill?  Huh

St Vladimir's fits that bill, too.  Lots of women go there.  (And not to land a husband, although sometimes male and female seminarians get married there.)

Last time I went to HCHC, I was surprised at how much Greek they use.  St Vladimir's uses English, and costs half as much.  There's no competition in my mind.  

Plus, St Vlad's keeps everyone on campus as much as possible, so it's probably easier to make friends.

St. Vlad's doesn't offer undergrad degrees; Hellenic College does. That is why I listed HC | HC, because of their undergrad programs.

I have other reasons I prefer HC | HC, but I'll keep them to myself.

What's wrong with St Vlad's?  It's master's level, but you'd just need a bachelor's in anything to get in.  They wouldn't bite you.
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« Reply #48 on: February 05, 2010, 12:47:12 AM »

I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

Doesn't Holy Cross | Hellenic College fit the bill?  Huh

St Vladimir's fits that bill, too.  Lots of women go there.  (And not to land a husband, although sometimes male and female seminarians get married there.)

Last time I went to HCHC, I was surprised at how much Greek they use.  St Vladimir's uses English, and costs half as much.  There's no competition in my mind.  

Plus, St Vlad's keeps everyone on campus as much as possible, so it's probably easier to make friends.

St. Vlad's doesn't offer undergrad degrees; Hellenic College does. That is why I listed HC | HC, because of their undergrad programs.

I have other reasons I prefer HC | HC, but I'll keep them to myself.

What's wrong with St Vlad's?  It's master's level, but you'd just need a bachelor's in anything to get in.  They wouldn't bite you.

As I said, I have other reasons I prefer HC | HC, but I'll keep them to myself.
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« Reply #49 on: February 05, 2010, 01:03:55 AM »

I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

Doesn't Holy Cross | Hellenic College fit the bill?  Huh

St Vladimir's fits that bill, too.  Lots of women go there.  (And not to land a husband, although sometimes male and female seminarians get married there.)

Last time I went to HCHC, I was surprised at how much Greek they use.  St Vladimir's uses English, and costs half as much.  There's no competition in my mind.  

Plus, St Vlad's keeps everyone on campus as much as possible, so it's probably easier to make friends.

St. Vlad's doesn't offer undergrad degrees; Hellenic College does. That is why I listed HC | HC, because of their undergrad programs.

I have other reasons I prefer HC | HC, but I'll keep them to myself.

What's wrong with St Vlad's?  It's master's level, but you'd just need a bachelor's in anything to get in.  They wouldn't bite you.

As I said, I have other reasons I prefer HC | HC, but I'll keep them to myself.

Well, that's lamentable.  St Vlad's is a good school, and worthy of serious consideration.  

Your reasoning would be more obvious if you came from more of a Greek/Byzantine background, but instead it almost sounds like you're suggesting something is wrong with St Vlad's.
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« Reply #50 on: February 05, 2010, 05:05:13 AM »

Your reasoning would be more obvious if you came from more of a Greek/Byzantine background, but instead it almost sounds like you're suggesting something is wrong with St Vlad's.

You are assuming that I am suggesting something is wrong with St. Vlad's. You are making an arguement out of silence. I never said there was anything wrong with St. Vlad's. I told you that I have my own personal reasons why I prefer HC | HC, and I prefer to keep those reasons to myself. Rather than push the issue, I would appreciate it if you would drop it already. I have never and would never discourage anyone from going to St. Vlad's. As I stated earlier, I posted info on HC | HC because they have an undergraduate program, which Rosehip was originally looking for.

Now if you please, let us return to the original topic at hand.
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« Reply #51 on: February 05, 2010, 05:24:16 AM »

Enlist the aid of Saint Xenia of Saint Petersburg.  She is known for helping people find a good spouse.  Ask your priest to serve a Moleben to her, and don't worry, he won't think you are weird.  He'll know that people go to Saint Xenia for help in this matter.

Tomorrow (with the Old Calendar) we commemorate St Xenia of Petersburg - I put together a little tribute to her a while ago, here.

The other Saint that we can turn to is St. Phanourios, he is the Greek equivalent of St Xenia and should not be forgotten when seeking a spouse as he is a great match-maker.

There is also this beautiful prayer that a Russian lady gave me from our Russian book shop:


O Good Lord, I know that any lasting happiness in my life depends upon loving thee with all my soul and all my heart and upon acting according to Thy Holy Will in all things.
Direct my soul O my God and fill my heart.
I want to please thee alone for though art my creator and God.
Preserve me from pride and self-love. May reason, modesty and chastity adorn me.
Idleness is hatefull to thee and breeds vice.
Give me the inclination to perform fruitful labour and bless my work.
Since they law commands people to live in chaste matrimonial union lead me Holy Father to this blessed calling.
Not for the satisfcation of my passions but for the fulfilment of thy commandment.
For thou has said it is not good that man should be alone and having created a woman as a helper bless hem to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.
Hear my humble prayer, which I send up to thee from the depths of my heart.
Give me a spouse who is honest and pious so that we through our love and harmony can praise thee The Compassionate God, the Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
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« Reply #52 on: February 05, 2010, 11:01:53 AM »

Enlist the aid of Saint Xenia of Saint Petersburg.  She is known for helping people find a good spouse.  Ask your priest to serve a Moleben to her, and don't worry, he won't think you are weird.  He'll know that people go to Saint Xenia for help in this matter.


Tomorrow (with the Old Calendar) we commemorate St Xenia of Petersburg - I put together a little tribute to her a while ago, here.

The other Saint that we can turn to is St. Phanourios, he is the Greek equivalent of St Xenia and should not be forgotten when seeking a spouse as he is a great match-maker.

There is also this beautiful prayer that a Russian lady gave me from our Russian book shop:


O Good Lord, I know that any lasting happiness in my life depends upon loving thee with all my soul and all my heart and upon acting according to Thy Holy Will in all things.
Direct my soul O my God and fill my heart.
I want to please thee alone for though art my creator and God.
Preserve me from pride and self-love. May reason, modesty and chastity adorn me.
Idleness is hatefull to thee and breeds vice.
Give me the inclination to perform fruitful labour and bless my work.
Since they law commands people to live in chaste matrimonial union lead me Holy Father to this blessed calling.
Not for the satisfcation of my passions but for the fulfilment of thy commandment.
For thou has said it is not good that man should be alone and having created a woman as a helper bless hem to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.
Hear my humble prayer, which I send up to thee from the depths of my heart.
Give me a spouse who is honest and pious so that we through our love and harmony can praise thee The Compassionate God, the Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.



A magnificent prayer.
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« Reply #53 on: February 05, 2010, 04:39:46 PM »

This has been something on my mind even while I was Catholic.

It's quite difficult to find a woman (or man for the opposite sex) who is a practicing Christian, and is even more difficult to find a practicing Orthodox!  My question, is there any place where Orthodox Christians can meet up with others of the opposite sex?  I have been told before that the Antiochian village is such a place.  Your thoughts?

I have thought about this aswell.  (I guess I'm better off.  I'm 15 and have no intention of marriage)

you could alwayse look around your parish or go to another Orthodox church in your area and find a nice girl.  or, you could type "Meet Orthodox Christians" into google.com and see what you get.  there is alwayse online dating.  my mother (since divorcing my father  Cry ) is doing this and meeting interesting people. 


good luck! 

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« Reply #54 on: February 05, 2010, 06:41:15 PM »

Provided you want an Orthodox relationship then this thread, should be giving you advise on how to rely on God. Here is what the Church fathers have to say:

"Dont go running to people, but to God. Tell God, 'Grant me the one Whom You have prepared for me in Your providence.' Entrust this matter to God, and He will reward you for granting such a great honour to Him." -- St Gregory the Theologian.

"Turn to God for help. He is not ashamed to become your matchmaker. He Himself promised this when he said: 'But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.' (Matt 6:33) -- St John Chrysostom.

"Since you know,, therefore, how great a mystery marriage is, and how great a matter it represents, do not consider marriage lightly or casually." -- St John Chrysostom.
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« Reply #55 on: February 05, 2010, 11:38:12 PM »

All of you have been incredibly helpful in guiding me where to go (and who to go to), and in giving some wise advice.  It's the Lord's will, not mine..I simply am seeking to find out what that exactly is in this department.  I really would like to thank you all for your help!
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« Reply #56 on: February 06, 2010, 12:09:29 AM »

Provided you want an Orthodox relationship then this thread, should be giving you advise on how to rely on God. Here is what the Church fathers have to say:

"Dont go running to people, but to God. Tell God, 'Grant me the one Whom You have prepared for me in Your providence.' Entrust this matter to God, and He will reward you for granting such a great honour to Him." -- St Gregory the Theologian.

"Turn to God for help. He is not ashamed to become your matchmaker. He Himself promised this when he said: 'But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.' (Matt 6:33) -- St John Chrysostom.

"Since you know,, therefore, how great a mystery marriage is, and how great a matter it represents, do not consider marriage lightly or casually." -- St John Chrysostom.


Post of the month Nominee!!  Grin
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« Reply #57 on: February 06, 2010, 01:59:44 AM »

Some forums have a place for single people to chat/meet.  Have the singles on OCnet considered setting up a specific time to "chat"?
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« Reply #58 on: February 10, 2010, 12:08:24 AM »

This has been something on my mind even while I was Catholic.

It's quite difficult to find a woman (or man for the opposite sex) who is a practicing Christian, and is even more difficult to find a practicing Orthodox!  My question, is there any place where Orthodox Christians can meet up with others of the opposite sex?  I have been told before that the Antiochian village is such a place.  Your thoughts?

The local OCA Church here in Bethesda MD runs a regular Orthodox Singles night. They get litterally hundreds of people to show up. They also go on sky trips and such the like. About a dozen marriages have resulted... Send me a private message and I will send you an email address.

I did not realize hundreds of people show up.  My present priest shows me their fliers, but unfortunately almost all their events are on Saturdays, and I have to work on Saturdays for the time being.

By sky trips, do you mean sky diving?  Wink
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« Reply #59 on: February 10, 2010, 12:16:14 AM »

Provided you want an Orthodox relationship then this thread, should be giving you advise on how to rely on God. Here is what the Church fathers have to say:

"Dont go running to people, but to God. Tell God, 'Grant me the one Whom You have prepared for me in Your providence.' Entrust this matter to God, and He will reward you for granting such a great honour to Him." -- St Gregory the Theologian.

"Turn to God for help. He is not ashamed to become your matchmaker. He Himself promised this when he said: 'But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.' (Matt 6:33) -- St John Chrysostom.

"Since you know,, therefore, how great a mystery marriage is, and how great a matter it represents, do not consider marriage lightly or casually." -- St John Chrysostom.


Post of the month Nominee!!  Grin

What wonderful insight!

I second the nomination!
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« Reply #60 on: February 10, 2010, 12:23:16 AM »

Some forums have a place for single people to chat/meet.  Have the singles on OCnet considered setting up a specific time to "chat"?

That would come with all the awkwardness of a Junior High Dance!  laugh  laugh
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« Reply #61 on: February 10, 2010, 12:47:32 AM »

Some forums have a place for single people to chat/meet.  Have the singles on OCnet considered setting up a specific time to "chat"?

That would come with all the awkwardness of a Junior High Dance!  laugh  laugh

LOL!
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« Reply #62 on: February 12, 2010, 01:22:09 AM »

I am single, 34 and female living in Australia - what the heck drop me an email!

Edit: I am still looking for a comical icon to represent this situation.
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« Reply #63 on: February 12, 2010, 01:30:43 AM »

I am single, 34 and female living in Australia - what the heck drop me an email!


If only you weren't Orthodox...  Wink angel
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« Reply #64 on: February 12, 2010, 01:32:22 AM »

I am single, 34 and female living in Australia - what the heck drop me an email!

If only you weren't Orthodox...  Wink angel

haha, and what are you?
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« Reply #65 on: February 12, 2010, 01:37:27 AM »

I am single, 34 and female living in Australia - what the heck drop me an email!

If only you weren't Orthodox...  Wink angel

haha, and what are you?

My response to that would depend on what day you ask me, or at times even what hour. If you drew a line, and put agnostic on one end and Orthodox on the other, I'd usually land somewhere in the middle. Smiley
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« Reply #66 on: February 12, 2010, 01:39:43 AM »

My response to that would depend on what day you ask me, or at times even what hour. If you drew a line, and put agnostic on one end and Orthodox on the other, I'd usually land somewhere in the middle. Smiley

Amusing ... sad too but honest. Ok, if you like, we tip you towards Orthodoxy and bingo, we have an OCNet date in the making (I am joking for those who may take that comment seriously, what kinda gal do you think I am?)

Mind you, I am praying very hard to meet someone Orthodox and get married but so many divorces around me its frightening.
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« Reply #67 on: February 12, 2010, 01:41:51 AM »

Please remember that OC.net is not set up to be an online dating service. Wink
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« Reply #68 on: February 12, 2010, 01:44:05 AM »

Please remember that OC.net is not set up to be an online dating service. Wink

Haha, derrrrrr .... are we allowed to display some humour?
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« Reply #69 on: February 12, 2010, 01:47:11 AM »

Peter,

Please stop spoiling my fun. How am I going to corrupt another meet a secretly perverse nice Orthodox girl with you around?
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« Reply #70 on: February 12, 2010, 01:50:47 AM »

Please stop spoiling my fun. How am I going to corrupt another meet a secretly perverse nice Orthodox girl with you around?

No, I am not secretely perverse ... woops, sorry ... no profiling permitted at OCNet.
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« Reply #71 on: February 12, 2010, 01:52:45 AM »

Please stop spoiling my fun. How am I going to corrupt another meet a secretly perverse nice Orthodox girl with you around?

No, I am not secretely perverse ... woops, sorry ... no profiling permitted at OCNet.

Oh  Cool Ok, nevermind Peter, this wouldn't have worked out anyway.  Tongue
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« Reply #72 on: February 12, 2010, 01:57:40 AM »

Please stop spoiling my fun. How am I going to corrupt another meet a secretly perverse nice Orthodox girl with you around?

No, I am not secretely perverse ... woops, sorry ... no profiling permitted at OCNet.

Oh  Cool Ok, nevermind Peter, this wouldn't have worked out anyway.  Tongue

... and now you have clearly tipped the scale way way away from the Orthodox end Tongue
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« Reply #73 on: February 12, 2010, 02:03:49 AM »

Please stop spoiling my fun. How am I going to corrupt another meet a secretly perverse nice Orthodox girl with you around?

No, I am not secretely perverse ... woops, sorry ... no profiling permitted at OCNet.

Oh  Cool Ok, nevermind Peter, this wouldn't have worked out anyway.  Tongue

... and now you have clearly tipped the scale way way away from the Orthodox end Tongue

Hey, when I married my wife, we were both pious, traditional Orthodox Christians, but people do sometimes change over time... angel
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« Reply #74 on: February 12, 2010, 02:37:17 AM »

Hey, when I married my wife, we were both pious, traditional Orthodox Christians, but people do sometimes change over time... angel

Oh no, woooops Smiley

Thankfully we cleared that one up before things got out of hand - which does bring up certain faith issues should it have continued ... Oh dear, now I must be serious with you ... no more jokes out of respect for the Mrs!

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« Reply #75 on: August 24, 2010, 07:42:17 PM »

Sorry, but I simply fail to understand these people who want to look only in their neighborhood, or maybe 50 miles around them. Why dont you guys get a wife from an Orthodox country?
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« Reply #76 on: August 24, 2010, 09:30:48 PM »

Sorry, but I simply fail to understand these people who want to look only in their neighborhood, or maybe 50 miles around them. Why dont you guys get a wife from an Orthodox country?

Because of scammers and opportunists who would marry you for a green card and dump you after becoming a citizen?

I think a guy would have to go to another Orthodox country and be careful in his search.   
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« Reply #77 on: August 25, 2010, 01:30:10 AM »

Exactly.

I would actually prefer to marry someone from an Orthodox country.  I've known a few foreign girls and they have the attitude and values a practicing Orthodox Christian would look for.  Although I'm sure it's not always the case, it's more likely to find an upstanding woman outside the U.S.  It at least seems this way most of the time.

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« Reply #78 on: August 25, 2010, 02:57:42 AM »

Russian mailorder brides.
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« Reply #79 on: August 25, 2010, 05:50:13 AM »

I don't want to make you feel bad but I think I must say this.

I also thought that I should look for an Orthodox spouse, that a girl raised in Orthodoxy would share my values and principles, but it isn't always this way.

I had experiences with girls from an Orthodox country in Eastern Europe. I thought this would work because they were Orthodox. How wrong I was, I have come to regret that I ever met these girls.
E. Europe is a cultural mix that diverges from the west and transcends theology. Americanized is probably better unless E. European is your culture.
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« Reply #80 on: August 25, 2010, 05:56:56 AM »

Russian mailorder brides.

That's an awesome idea! She could bring 18th century Russian peasant clothes proper Orthodox clothes with her and furthermore you could also learn Russian Orthodox accent.
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« Reply #81 on: August 25, 2010, 06:38:23 AM »

Russian mailorder brides.

Very funny. But seriously, for those who cannot find a wife in the US, making a pilgrimage to an Orthodox country, not necessarily Russia (go Ukraine!), and establishing contact with local Orthodox parishes would definitely help to find an Orthodox spouse.

As for clothes, in both Ukraine and Russia it seems to be headscarves in church, miniskirts elsewhere.
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« Reply #82 on: August 25, 2010, 09:56:48 AM »

Sorry, but I simply fail to understand these people who want to look only in their neighborhood, or maybe 50 miles around them. Why dont you guys get a wife from an Orthodox country?

Because girls in Orthodox countries are no more likely to be a better spouse or a better Orthodox Christian. Statistically, they are actually more likely to have had an abortion. I've seen cases, including ones facilitated by priests, where naive Americans have been shocked by the dress, attitude, and actions of Orthodox women brought over for marriage. There is only a remnant there, just like there is only a remnant here. And while the remnant there is larger in absolute numbers, I don't think a high percentage, especially of that remnant, is likely to want to leave family and homeland for post-protestant America. In fact, that in itself could be a problematic sign.

In the end, it's all about the individual person, not the location, and going oversees could do little more than add complicating factors: cost of travel, differences in language and culture, citizenship, familial separation, etc.
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« Reply #83 on: August 25, 2010, 12:05:40 PM »

Because girls in Orthodox countries are no more likely to be a better spouse or a better Orthodox Christian.
That's an insult to the holy country of Ukraine  Grin
Seriously, practising Orthoidox Christians are simply more numerous in these countries than in the US. And there is a surplus of women in the former USSR.

Statistically, they are actually more likely to have had an abortion.
I do not know of any woman in Ukraine who had an aborition while being a church-going Orthodox Christian. Abortions are more likely among non-religious persons though.


I don't think a high percentage, especially of that remnant, is likely to want to leave family and homeland for post-protestant America.
I think many are likely, for three reasons
1) There are simply more women than men.
2) The economical situation there is bad.
3) There is a big admiration for western converts to Orthodoxy.
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« Reply #84 on: August 25, 2010, 12:41:27 PM »

In all seriousness though, how can anyone actually seek out a legitimate Orthodox woman from Eastern Europe? 

Many of the so-called 'mail order brides' are frauds, with pictures of models that apparently suck the money out of victim's wallets. 
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« Reply #85 on: August 25, 2010, 12:46:53 PM »

In all seriousness though, how can anyone actually seek out a legitimate Orthodox woman from Eastern Europe? 

Many of the so-called 'mail order brides' are frauds, with pictures of models that apparently suck the money out of victim's wallets. 

I have never met a mail order bride, but most people in the former USSR are still quite unchurched. So if you want to find a wife who is really orthodox, the best guess is to go there, and find a wife in church.
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« Reply #86 on: August 25, 2010, 01:38:16 PM »

Forgive me brothers,

but I believe that God, just as he arranges everything to our good, still gave us the mind and the will.

While he wants us to enjoy surrendering our lives to Him, he still wants us to take a part in our own lives.
Choosing a spouse is no exception.

I believe one should pray for guidance and for meeting the right person, and taking right decisions...
Yet he\she has a role to fill!

You must make your own decisions. Even God will not choose for you. He will guide you, yes, but he will leave the final choice for you!
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« Reply #87 on: August 25, 2010, 02:50:28 PM »

Admittedly I live in a large metropolitan area with several Orthodox parishes of different jurisdictions, but where are you guys looking?
I know quite a few unmarried Orthodox women. (They all have lovely personalities. Wink)
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« Reply #88 on: August 25, 2010, 02:53:42 PM »

In all seriousness though, how can anyone actually seek out a legitimate Orthodox woman from Eastern Europe? 

Many of the so-called 'mail order brides' are frauds, with pictures of models that apparently suck the money out of victim's wallets. 

I've known more than a few men who have done this. Typically they have some kinda relationship to someone in the place they are visiting (friend of some sort) or go on an extended pilgrimage.

The process I have witnessed takes some time and more than a few visits spending a lot of time with the family of the potential spouse.

In the end, it requires time and money.

For the record, all three guys have ended up with happy marriages and families.
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« Reply #89 on: August 25, 2010, 04:00:53 PM »

There is a Yahoo discussion group for Orthodox singles:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/orthodox_singles/
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« Reply #90 on: August 25, 2010, 04:33:13 PM »

I listened to these excellent lectures by Fr. Josiah Trenham. It was pretty helpful and inspiring to me.

In Christ,
Andrew
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