Author Topic: Finding an Orthodox spouse  (Read 11617 times)

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Offline Hamartolos

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Finding an Orthodox spouse
« on: February 02, 2010, 01:06:52 PM »
This has been something on my mind even while I was Catholic.

It's quite difficult to find a woman (or man for the opposite sex) who is a practicing Christian, and is even more difficult to find a practicing Orthodox!  My question, is there any place where Orthodox Christians can meet up with others of the opposite sex?  I have been told before that the Antiochian village is such a place.  Your thoughts?
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Offline Alveus Lacuna

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2010, 01:13:03 PM »
A lot of times a priest can be a good matchmaker.  Or you could just go to a convent and look for young visiting women. ;)
« Last Edit: February 02, 2010, 01:13:48 PM by Alveus Lacuna »

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2010, 01:20:40 PM »
I met my wife on an Orthodox email list. Maybe you just aren't private messaging enough women folk here at OC.net. You have to cast your line quite a bit before you can expect to catch a fish ;)

Offline Rosehip

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2010, 02:06:09 PM »
I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.
« Last Edit: February 02, 2010, 02:06:44 PM by Rosehip »
+ Our dear sister Martha (Rosehip) passed away on Dec 20, 2010.  May her memory be eternal! +

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2010, 02:16:48 PM »
I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

There was a joke at the Protestant college that I went to that most of the women were there to get their MRS degree  :D

Offline Rosehip

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2010, 02:19:06 PM »
I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

There was a joke at the Protestant college that I went to that most of the women were there to get their MRS degree  :D

Yup. Sounds mighty familiar! ;)
+ Our dear sister Martha (Rosehip) passed away on Dec 20, 2010.  May her memory be eternal! +

Offline genesisone

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #6 on: February 02, 2010, 02:22:18 PM »
Yes, it was not a Bible college I attended, but a Bridal college  :D.  And yes, I met my wife there.

Offline genesisone

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #7 on: February 02, 2010, 03:01:03 PM »
Sorry for posting again, but just found this.

"TROUGHWOOD, New York -- St. Vladyka's Press has released a new book, Dumped But Dispassionate: Orthodox Men Recovering From Rejection, a spiritual advice book on how to recover from the loss of being told to take a hike by lovely Orthodox women."

http://www.theoniondome.com/2010/02/thomas/

Be prepared  :D !

Offline PeterTheAleut

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #8 on: February 02, 2010, 03:28:13 PM »
I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

There was a joke at the Protestant college that I went to that most of the women were there to get their MRS degree  :D
Yup.  "Ring by spring, or your money back." 8)
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Offline ialmisry

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #9 on: February 02, 2010, 03:33:38 PM »
I met my wife on an Orthodox email list. Maybe you just aren't private messaging enough women folk here at OC.net. You have to cast your line quite a bit before you can expect to catch a fish ;)

LOL. Just make sure that fish isn't already caught (profiles don't show marital marital status).

If I was so able to, I'd go to gathering at feasts (like the Dormition at the Dormition monastery), Pan-Orthodox Events etc. (I do so anyway, but without wife searching on the agenda).  You get to know a wide circle of Orthodox who are somehow more than nominal that way.
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Offline PeterTheAleut

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #10 on: February 02, 2010, 03:35:13 PM »
Sorry for posting again, but just found this.

"TROUGHWOOD, New York -- St. Vladyka's Press has released a new book, Dumped But Dispassionate: Orthodox Men Recovering From Rejection, a spiritual advice book on how to recover from the loss of being told to take a hike by lovely Orthodox women."

http://www.theoniondome.com/2010/02/thomas/

Be prepared  :D !
"You said that you share my love of Orthodox music, but all you can sing is ninth tone."

Funny but real experience (that had nothing to do with the breakup of a relationship):  A few years ago one of our middle-aged ladies was asked to read the Epistle for a festal Liturgy.  When it came time for her to announce the Alleluia after the Epistle, the choir was prepared to sing the response to our standard festal setting, which is not set to any of the eight tones, so she proclaimed it as such: "In the ninth tone...". :laugh:  We still kid her about her goofup on occasion.
« Last Edit: February 02, 2010, 03:36:23 PM by PeterTheAleut »
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Offline pensateomnia

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #11 on: February 02, 2010, 03:41:03 PM »
It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

Seems like just about every year, there are always couples from Hellenic College that get married. In fact, one of our OC.net brothers falls into that category.
But for I am a man not textueel I wol noght telle of textes neuer a deel. (Chaucer, The Manciple's Tale, 1.131)

Offline katherineofdixie

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #12 on: February 02, 2010, 04:46:58 PM »
Let people know you're available. Us older folk often know other single people, but don't go around asking people their current status.
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Offline Marc1152

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #13 on: February 02, 2010, 05:16:55 PM »
This has been something on my mind even while I was Catholic.

It's quite difficult to find a woman (or man for the opposite sex) who is a practicing Christian, and is even more difficult to find a practicing Orthodox!  My question, is there any place where Orthodox Christians can meet up with others of the opposite sex?  I have been told before that the Antiochian village is such a place.  Your thoughts?

The local OCA Church here in Bethesda MD runs a regular Orthodox Singles night. They get litterally hundreds of people to show up. They also go on sky trips and such the like. About a dozen marriages have resulted... Send me a private message and I will send you an email address.
Your idea has been debunked 1000 times already.. Maybe 1001 will be the charm

Offline Hamartolos

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #14 on: February 02, 2010, 05:32:38 PM »
Sounds good.  A big problem is the size of my parish (pretty small).  I've seen a couple attractive girls, but there are not very many social gatherings and most often the only service most people attend are the Sunday DL. 

I've never dated someone who attend church regularly..although I did date a Byzantine Catholic right before becoming Orthodox..that went well!  ::)

Usually, girls shy away once they know I attend Liturgy every week, and whatever else there is.  It's surprising to me because, I was fine when we first met, went on the first date, so on and so on...I think they are expecting me to morph into something once I reveal my 'double life' as an Orthodox Christian. 
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Offline Irish Hermit

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #15 on: February 02, 2010, 06:35:11 PM »
Enlist the aid of Saint Xenia of Saint Petersburg.  She is known for helping people find a good spouse.  Ask your priest to serve a Moleben to her, and don't worry, he won't think you are weird.  He'll know that people go to Saint Xenia for help in this matter.

Offline Rosehip

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #16 on: February 02, 2010, 06:54:21 PM »
Enlist the aid of Saint Xenia of Saint Petersburg.  She is known for helping people find a good spouse.  Ask your priest to serve a Moleben to her, and don't worry, he won't think you are weird.  He'll know that people go to Saint Xenia for help in this matter.

Father, I can't say I agree. Everyone told me to do this, and it never worked at all. Call me a skeptic....
+ Our dear sister Martha (Rosehip) passed away on Dec 20, 2010.  May her memory be eternal! +

Offline HandmaidenofGod

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #17 on: February 02, 2010, 07:14:18 PM »
I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

Doesn't Holy Cross | Hellenic College fit the bill?  ???
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jer 29:11

Offline Irish Hermit

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #18 on: February 02, 2010, 07:18:42 PM »
Enlist the aid of Saint Xenia of Saint Petersburg.  She is known for helping people find a good spouse.  Ask your priest to serve a Moleben to her, and don't worry, he won't think you are weird.  He'll know that people go to Saint Xenia for help in this matter.

Father, I can't say I agree. Everyone told me to do this, and it never worked at all. Call me a skeptic....

In that case it must be that God has called you to a life of holy celibacy.  Not even Saint Xenia can override Him on that...  But assuming that God may have it in mind for mctaviix to find a spouse a Moleben to Saint Xenia is still a good thing to do.


Offline HandmaidenofGod

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #19 on: February 02, 2010, 07:20:02 PM »
Sounds good.  A big problem is the size of my parish (pretty small).  I've seen a couple attractive girls, but there are not very many social gatherings and most often the only service most people attend are the Sunday DL. 

I've never dated someone who attend church regularly..although I did date a Byzantine Catholic right before becoming Orthodox..that went well!  ::)

Usually, girls shy away once they know I attend Liturgy every week, and whatever else there is.  It's surprising to me because, I was fine when we first met, went on the first date, so on and so on...I think they are expecting me to morph into something once I reveal my 'double life' as an Orthodox Christian. 

When I lived in Atlanta, I formed an Orthodox Singles Group that was pan-Orthodox. We had almost 80 members and I'm still single!  ::)

Now that I'm back in New Jersey, the only "single" men in my parish are all widowers who are old enough to be my grandfather or great-grandfather. Personally, I'm open to dating non-Orthodox Christians who are open to my faith. Only 2% of Americans claim to be Orthodox, and an even smaller percentage of that are practicing.

I'm not holding my breath for an Orthodox Spouse; just a Christian who agrees to marry and raise our children in the church, and allow my to practice my faith.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jer 29:11

Offline Hamartolos

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #20 on: February 02, 2010, 07:22:14 PM »
Katherine, that's a good thought...the parish community I dwell in is pretty tight, and have embraced me since day one...it has taken some time to have gotten used to talking to people I only see at Church...I'm still working on being comfortable enough to stay for coffee hour!

Hi Handmaiden, I think somebody mentioned that before...had I known about that prior to my freshmen year!  

BTW, thanks very much Father!  I knew about St. Xenia but not for that cause nor did I know about this particular supplication!  I'll throw it by my parish priest/spiritual father...if he thinks I'm weird for that, than he's already thought it for quite a while!  :D
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Offline HandmaidenofGod

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #21 on: February 02, 2010, 07:23:11 PM »
Enlist the aid of Saint Xenia of Saint Petersburg.  She is known for helping people find a good spouse.  Ask your priest to serve a Moleben to her, and don't worry, he won't think you are weird.  He'll know that people go to Saint Xenia for help in this matter.

Father, I can't say I agree. Everyone told me to do this, and it never worked at all. Call me a skeptic....

In that case it must be that God has called you to a life of holy celibacy.  Not even Saint Xenia can override Him on that...  But assuming that God may have it in mind for mctaviix to find a spouse a Moleben to Saint Xenia is still a good thing to do.

Father, last year we had a Paraklesis for Saint Xenia of St. Petersburg where everyone in the church was either single or unemployed. (For those reading the forum who may be unaware, St. Xenia is the patron saint of the unemployed as well.)

A year later that same group is still single and unemployed.

Could it just be that God's timing is not our timing?
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jer 29:11

Offline Rosehip

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #22 on: February 02, 2010, 07:26:45 PM »
I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

Doesn't Holy Cross | Hellenic College fit the bill?  ???

I think it's a great idea! I simply wasn't aware of it when I posted. Have you ever studied there?
+ Our dear sister Martha (Rosehip) passed away on Dec 20, 2010.  May her memory be eternal! +

Offline Hamartolos

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #23 on: February 02, 2010, 07:27:42 PM »

When I lived in Atlanta, I formed an Orthodox Singles Group that was pan-Orthodox. We had almost 80 members and I'm still single!  ::)

Now that I'm back in New Jersey, the only "single" men in my parish are all widowers who are old enough to be my grandfather or great-grandfather. Personally, I'm open to dating non-Orthodox Christians who are open to my faith. Only 2% of Americans claim to be Orthodox, and an even smaller percentage of that are practicing.

I'm not holding my breath for an Orthodox Spouse; just a Christian who agrees to marry and raise our children in the church, and allow my to practice my faith.

I dig you there...I've often figured the chances of meeting someone who is practicing anything are slim, then asking them to go along with raising our kids in Orthodoxy shouldn't be that much of a problem.  Usually, too, the girls I have met in college are really immature...and I mean not 22 immature..like 13 immature!  That..I cannot deal with!

But Father is right on this one.  It's up to God...my spiritual father told me before..."If you're not meant to marry, you have to realize that and accept it".  It may be too early for me to know if that's my case or not...but if it is, it is.  Right now..I'm more fixed on trying to find someone who would be compatible and profitable for my soul, and I for theirs more than anything else. 

St. Xenia, intercede for us!
« Last Edit: February 02, 2010, 07:30:08 PM by mctaviix »
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Offline Rosehip

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #24 on: February 02, 2010, 07:28:54 PM »
Quote
In that case it must be that God has called you to a life of holy celibacy.

I don't consider it holy, and neither do I feel that "God" called me to it, quite frankly. I think it was just plain bad luck.
+ Our dear sister Martha (Rosehip) passed away on Dec 20, 2010.  May her memory be eternal! +

Offline HandmaidenofGod

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #25 on: February 02, 2010, 07:29:52 PM »
I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

Doesn't Holy Cross | Hellenic College fit the bill?  ???

I think it's a great idea! I simply wasn't aware of it when I posted. Have you ever studied there?

Not yet, but I hope to after I'm done with my present course of study. Several of my friends (including some posters here) have studied there and loved it. One met her husband there. :)
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jer 29:11

Offline Rosehip

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #26 on: February 02, 2010, 07:32:59 PM »
Quote
Not yet, but I hope to after I'm done with my present course of study. Several of my friends (including some posters here) have studied there and loved it. One met her husband there. 


Sounds hopeful...I hope you soon have the opportunity to do so-you are already so knowledgeable and it would be enjoyable and nice to have a chance to meet more Orthodox young people like yourself.
+ Our dear sister Martha (Rosehip) passed away on Dec 20, 2010.  May her memory be eternal! +

Offline arnI

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #27 on: February 02, 2010, 09:15:32 PM »
Enlist the aid of Saint Xenia of Saint Petersburg.  She is known for helping people find a good spouse.  Ask your priest to serve a Moleben to her, and don't worry, he won't think you are weird.  He'll know that people go to Saint Xenia for help in this matter.

Father, I can't say I agree. Everyone told me to do this, and it never worked at all. Call me a skeptic....

My Orthodox girlfriend prayed regularly to meet someone, and I now pray that I am that "one". :)
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Offline Marina14

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #28 on: February 02, 2010, 11:18:08 PM »
Well I'm single, never married, and interested/willing to meet a single Orthodox man around my age...I even tried to start a local Pan Orthodox Singles group, but out of all the various Orthodox Jurisdictions in our area only 1 one other single lived local and she was in her late teens, early 20s. There were 2 men in their mid-50s who were from towns an hour plus away who showed interest, but that was it. No offense to men in their 50s, but those of us in our 30s and late teens/early 20s aren't really interested in dating or marrying that far out of our age range. I'd personally prefer someone within at least 10 years of my age - a huge generational gap is difficult in any relationship.
I'm a Greek Orthodox Christian whose spiritual father is a Russian Orthodox priest and who is currently attending an OCA Church.

Offline RPConover

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #29 on: February 03, 2010, 12:01:07 AM »
Right here! 27 year old male, no children, never married, no visible scars- likes art, reading and great food!  ;D
« Last Edit: February 03, 2010, 12:01:33 AM by RPConover »

Offline PeterTheAleut

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #30 on: February 03, 2010, 12:10:21 AM »
Please remember that OC.net is not an online dating service. ;)
« Last Edit: February 03, 2010, 12:10:47 AM by PeterTheAleut »
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Offline ChristusDominus

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #31 on: February 03, 2010, 12:54:18 AM »
I thought I've seen a Orthodox dating site on the web? Has anyone here given that a try?
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Offline Heracleides

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #32 on: February 03, 2010, 02:42:39 AM »
I thought I've seen a Orthodox dating site on the web? Has anyone here given that a try?

You have seen it at: http://www.orthodoxchristiandating.com/

Good luck. I'd say the ratio of men to women is about five to one.
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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #33 on: February 03, 2010, 03:01:53 AM »
I thought I've seen a Orthodox dating site on the web? Has anyone here given that a try?

You have seen it at: http://www.orthodoxchristiandating.com/

Good luck. I'd say the ratio of men to women is about five to one.

Lol, worse than this forum (4.2 to 1). And I wonder how many of them are horny net geeks.

Offline ozgeorge

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #34 on: February 03, 2010, 03:16:42 AM »
Lol, worse than this forum (4.2 to 1).
How did you work that out?
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Offline SolEX01

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #35 on: February 03, 2010, 03:38:24 AM »
Lol, worse than this forum (4.2 to 1).
How did you work that out?

The board software performs the calculation based on members who specified gender when he/she registered.

Offline ozgeorge

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #36 on: February 03, 2010, 03:50:23 AM »
Lol, worse than this forum (4.2 to 1).
How did you work that out?

The board software performs the calculation based on members who specified gender when he/she registered.
Good Lord! I'd never noticed that!
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Offline SolEX01

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #37 on: February 03, 2010, 03:56:56 AM »
There are also 12,592.99 page views per day.   ;)

Offline PeterTheAleut

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #38 on: February 03, 2010, 04:04:00 AM »
Lol, worse than this forum (4.2 to 1).
How did you work that out?

The board software performs the calculation based on members who specified gender when he/she registered.
Good Lord! I'd never noticed that!
Yeah, it's actually listed in the forum stats.
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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #39 on: February 03, 2010, 04:05:31 AM »
Yeah, as SolEX01 and Peter mentioned, OC.net does the math... I just swiped the data from the stats page. Now, where people get these fancy, in-depth stats, like how many posts per day someone had over a specific three month period, I have no idea.
« Last Edit: February 03, 2010, 04:05:50 AM by Asteriktos »

Offline Marina14

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #40 on: February 03, 2010, 05:09:52 AM »
I thought I've seen a Orthodox dating site on the web? Has anyone here given that a try?

You have seen it at: http://www.orthodoxchristiandating.com/

Good luck. I'd say the ratio of men to women is about five to one.

Thanks for sharing the website. I just joined. Doing what I can to help to even out the membership - lol.

Anyway, right now only girls are actually on-line right this moment...2 from Romania. I'm off to sleep!
I'm a Greek Orthodox Christian whose spiritual father is a Russian Orthodox priest and who is currently attending an OCA Church.

Offline Fr. George

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #41 on: February 03, 2010, 07:52:30 AM »
I dig you there...I've often figured the chances of meeting someone who is practicing anything are slim, then asking them to go along with raising our kids in Orthodoxy shouldn't be that much of a problem.  Usually, too, the girls I have met in college are really immature...and I mean not 22 immature..like 13 immature!  That..I cannot deal with!

But Father is right on this one.  It's up to God...my spiritual father told me before..."If you're not meant to marry, you have to realize that and accept it".  It may be too early for me to know if that's my case or not...but if it is, it is.  Right now..I'm more fixed on trying to find someone who would be compatible and profitable for my soul, and I for theirs more than anything else. 

St. Xenia, intercede for us!

I would say something that helps is being "ready" for either path in life (celibacy or marriage).  If you're shooting only for 1 option, then (a) you may be disappointed if God's plan for you involves the other, or (b) you may plunge into the other and endure needless hardship.

If you're still relatively young (18-27 or so), then there are certainly places where you can meet dedicated Orthodox Christians - an Orthodox School (as Handmaiden suggested), working at a Summer Camp (where I met my wife), etc.  Just make sure that whatever option you pursue, you are comfortable with your life whether you find someone special or not: there's no sense enrolling in a College, or volunteering for 8 weeks of Camp, if your one and only goal is meeting a potential spouse - you'll be miserable if that doesn't happen, and will either be "out" money or time.

The essential underpinning to all this, though, is developing a relationship with the Lord that allows you to be comfortable with who you are, and what His plan for you is.  "These can only be done by prayer and fasting."

Several of my friends (including some posters here) have studied there and loved it. One met her husband there. :) 

She's an exception to the rule; engaged after only 4 or 5 months (he had her father's blessing after only 2 months), married before 1 year of dating.
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Offline BoredMeeting

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #42 on: February 03, 2010, 10:47:42 AM »
This has been something on my mind even while I was Catholic.

It's quite difficult to find a woman (or man for the opposite sex) who is a practicing Christian, and is even more difficult to find a practicing Orthodox!  My question, is there any place where Orthodox Christians can meet up with others of the opposite sex?  I have been told before that the Antiochian village is such a place.  Your thoughts?

The local OCA Church here in Bethesda MD runs a regular Orthodox Singles night. They get litterally hundreds of people to show up. They also go on sky trips and such the like. About a dozen marriages have resulted... Send me a private message and I will send you an email address.
I was going to mention the same group as well but, since you were first, I'll let you handle the inquiries.

Offline Hamartolos

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #43 on: February 03, 2010, 11:38:31 AM »
I dig you there...I've often figured the chances of meeting someone who is practicing anything are slim, then asking them to go along with raising our kids in Orthodoxy shouldn't be that much of a problem.  Usually, too, the girls I have met in college are really immature...and I mean not 22 immature..like 13 immature!  That..I cannot deal with!

But Father is right on this one.  It's up to God...my spiritual father told me before..."If you're not meant to marry, you have to realize that and accept it".  It may be too early for me to know if that's my case or not...but if it is, it is.  Right now..I'm more fixed on trying to find someone who would be compatible and profitable for my soul, and I for theirs more than anything else. 

St. Xenia, intercede for us!

I would say something that helps is being "ready" for either path in life (celibacy or marriage).  If you're shooting only for 1 option, then (a) you may be disappointed if God's plan for you involves the other, or (b) you may plunge into the other and endure needless hardship.

If you're still relatively young (18-27 or so), then there are certainly places where you can meet dedicated Orthodox Christians - an Orthodox School (as Handmaiden suggested), working at a Summer Camp (where I met my wife), etc.  Just make sure that whatever option you pursue, you are comfortable with your life whether you find someone special or not: there's no sense enrolling in a College, or volunteering for 8 weeks of Camp, if your one and only goal is meeting a potential spouse - you'll be miserable if that doesn't happen, and will either be "out" money or time.

The essential underpinning to all this, though, is developing a relationship with the Lord that allows you to be comfortable with who you are, and what His plan for you is.  "These can only be done by prayer and fasting."

Several of my friends (including some posters here) have studied there and loved it. One met her husband there. :) 

She's an exception to the rule; engaged after only 4 or 5 months (he had her father's blessing after only 2 months), married before 1 year of dating.

Thank you Father.  Your points make a lot of sense and ring quite full of good advice!  ;D  I really don't worry that much about whether or not it's in God's plan for me to marry or not.  This is something that did bother me a couple years ago, especially when I was Catholic and considering the priesthood.  However, at this point I simply am looking to give it my best try and seek the answer from God.  As I said earlier, I could have been married to one or two women before, but it's not viable to marry someone who isn't interested in God or Orthodoxy while having a deeper desire to become a priest.  This, of course, is something else that may or may not be in God's plan.  Finding someone who is a practicing Orthodox would be more of a true test to whether or not married life is in the cards for me.  I hope that makes sense.
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Offline Orual

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Re: Finding an Orthodox spouse
« Reply #44 on: February 04, 2010, 10:44:42 PM »
I know ROCOR has annual youth conferences/syezds where people go to meet one another, but I don't know what other groups do. It's really too bad that there isn't even some sort of short-term "bibleschool/college" like other faiths have, where young people can study and meet one another.

Doesn't Holy Cross | Hellenic College fit the bill?  ???

St Vladimir's fits that bill, too.  Lots of women go there.  (And not to land a husband, although sometimes male and female seminarians get married there.)

Last time I went to HCHC, I was surprised at how much Greek they use.  St Vladimir's uses English, and costs half as much.  There's no competition in my mind.  

Plus, St Vlad's keeps everyone on campus as much as possible, so it's probably easier to make friends.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2010, 10:56:52 PM by Orual »
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