Before anyone can consider himself a Christian, he ought to think more about the basic calling of a Christian, and that's endurance.
Because lawlessness is increased, most people's love will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved. (Matthew 24:12-13)
You will be hated by all because of My name, but it is the one who has endured to the end who will be saved. (Matthew 10:22)
If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13)
If we endure, we will also reign with Him; If we deny Him, He also will deny us; (2 Timothy 2:12)
It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? (Hebrews 12:7)
If you have no endurance for anything, then you simply cannot be saved. You will not be able to follow sound advice and to keep yourself on the right track.
There are two things you most likely lack based on what you have said and common experience: fear of God and love of God. One who fears God will make his decisions with great certainty, as will one who loves God with fervor. Your actions indicate neither.
If you really think you are serious, then you may ask God for the gift of discernment. However, I warn you that this prayer is very difficult, because it comes with great hardship and suffering. If you ask God to make His will known to you, more often than not it comes with uncontrollable and unexpected circumstances that will push you to the edge of your ego and then over the cliff. The plunge will not kill you, but it will shatter your pride. I say this as one who has been to that place several times. It is extremely unpleasant but the only thing that works for an egomaniac like me (and perhaps you).
If you want shame, humiliation, loss of control... well, then you will find the truth is not in you or your decision-making faculties (which is your problem area) but in the Person of Jesus Christ. When you surrender to Him and the circumstances He places you in, then you will be ready. As long as you are still making your own decisions, then you will continue to chase your own tail.
I'm sorry to have to make this sound so gruff, but I am trying to get through a difficult message in a matter of a few paragraphs. The truth is that it is a hopeful message, that out of suffering you will be saved if you stop trying to save yourself. God is merciful and kind, and He has a place for all of us who heed His voice. You will find that doing the same thing over and over again begets the same results, so you know you need to try something different.
(Unsolicited Advice Alert!) On a practical level, you must first make a decision, right or wrong, and stick with it until God makes the next decision for you. So, pick a place and resolve to stay there for (let's say) three years, either a parish, monastery, etc. where there are spiritual people who have a proven track record of helping others in a healthy and constructive way. You must not leave no matter what your (deluded) heart tells you. If God wants you out, He will do it Himself and it will be beyond your control, then you get to take the next step. If you make the decision to leave before God forces the situation beyond your control, then you have failed and you will be back to square one and tail-chasing. In order to endure, you will have to turn, in all your suffering and doubt, to God.
All this should be done under the care of a single spiritual director (not people you meet on the internet, but someone you can see on a daily basis) who knows you and to whom you are willing to be completely obedient and honest. Then listen to him. (/Unsolicited Advice Alert!)
I apologize if I have overstepped any bounds, but this is just my opinion and you can take it or leave it.
In the meantime, consider your love for God and what is really motivating you to deliberate the way you do.