Welcome to the forum! I applaud your open ear and your willingness to work with your daughter.
I also applaud, however, your guiding of the compromise. I agree with Ms. Hoorah that parents should be parents, and I also believe that, in a Christian family, regular church attendance should never
be optional. I must admit, i don't understand how we can be so serious about making children go to school because "it's the law." Is it not in God's Law to meet together regularly? We did not ask the child if he wanted to be baptized; we do not ask them if they want to come to Saturday Vespers and Sunday Liturgy.
But, a few general thoughts...must "regular attendance" then mean, "every time the doors are open, you will
be there"? Two priests whom I greatly respect (both of whom have grown children in the Church), were strict regarding the dominical cycle (Sat. Vespers/Sun. DL), but let their kids have more leeway regarding weekday services, lenten things (to a point), and even some of the repeated Holy Week services. So regular doesn't have to mean "shove a typikon down their throats and stuff their iPod full of Znamenny." It could just mean attending some
services on a regular basis. This is not burdensome, though it may be imposed.
And...the method of imposition is crucial. It's not so much what
one says as how
one says it. We mustn't come down on Ms. Hoorah, Tamarah, or Marina (or myself
) for insisting on regular church attendance, assuming that any
insistence to any
be done with a scowl and a threat. My wife and I both had very devout parents and were in church a lot. One of the reasons we (along with my wife's siblings) are still Christian is because 1) as has been said, we knew our parents believed what they told us, and that it impacted their lives consistently, and because 2) we knew that they were doing this because they thought it was good for us
; even though we may have chaffed some at the degree of involvement with church at times, we knew they weren't making us go so that they would look good in front of other folks, for example. We sensed the love behind the insistence. I think that's absolutely vital in dealing with children/youth of any age; they need to know you love
them, even as you make them do things (including church).
Excellent topic. Keep us posted on your daughter, Marina!