OrthodoxChristianity.net
July 23, 2014, 12:24:34 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: Reminder: No political discussions in the public fora.  If you do not have access to the private Politics Forum, please send a PM to Fr. George.
 
   Home   Help Calendar Contact Treasury Tags Login Register  
Pages: 1   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: New here....and I have a problem  (Read 6470 times) Average Rating: 0
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Mary
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 24


OC.net


« on: December 21, 2003, 03:15:59 AM »

Hi, I am Mary.  I have been an Orthodox for 3 years and I have a problem.  Hm....sounds like I think this is a 12 Step Program. Grin

I live a couple of hours away from my church which means my husband and I don't attend services as often as we would like.  We are also not "ethnic" but the Liturgy is almost all in English.

But we don't feel like we belong since no one will talk to us at coffee hour so we seldom attend that.  That's not the problem, we are getting over it!

But....not even our priest talks to us!  My husband thought he was having some sort of heart problem last spring and emailed our priest.  No response from Father.  Email is how we let him know it is time for confession during Matins.

Now my husband has a cancer scare and is worried. He wanted prayers.  He also wanted Father to sit down and talk to us since we have never really met during the past 3 years.  He knows nothing about us and we know nothing about him.  My husband wrote to him on Monday, Dec. 15.  It is now Saturday, Dec. 20 and STILL no response!  We know that he has been online as he sent us the upcoming bulletin.

Is this normal? Or is it because we aren't members in good standing?  I just found out about pledging!!!  I had absolutely no idea that without a pledge, we aren't members.  We do give a check when we go to church.

It's late, this probably doesn't make sense.  I am frustrated by my priest who ignores us. Angry
Logged
Maria
Orthodox Christian
Taxiarches
**********
Offline Offline

Posts: 7,772


O most Holy Theotokos, save us.


« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2003, 04:12:55 AM »

Hi, I am Mary.  I have been an Orthodox for 3 years and I have a problem.  Hm....sounds like I think this is a 12 Step Program. Grin

I live a couple of hours away from my church which means my husband and I don't attend services as often as we would like.  We are also not "ethnic" but the Liturgy is almost all in English.

But we don't feel like we belong since no one will talk to us at coffee hour so we seldom attend that.  That's not the problem, we are getting over it!

But....not even our priest talks to us!  My husband thought he was having some sort of heart problem last spring and emailed our priest.  No response from Father.  Email is how we let him know it is time for confession during Matins.

Now my husband has a cancer scare and is worried. He wanted prayers.  He also wanted Father to sit down and talk to us since we have never really met during the past 3 years.  He knows nothing about us and we know nothing about him.  My husband wrote to him on Monday, Dec. 15.  It is now Saturday, Dec. 20 and STILL no response!  We know that he has been online as he sent us the upcoming bulletin.

Is this normal? Or is it because we aren't members in good standing?  I just found out about pledging!!!  I had absolutely no idea that without a pledge, we aren't members.  We do give a check when we go to church.

It's late, this probably doesn't make sense.  I am frustrated by my priest who ignores us. Angry

First of all, I'm Maria, I've been Orthodox for 7 years, and I'm a sinner.  Smiley

You're not the first one to fall between the cracks so to speak. In some parishes the priest doesn't like to talk about financial matters, as he doesn't feel that it's appropriate.. In other parishes, the financial officer tells the priest to be quiet because the priest isn't expected to beg for money. I know some parishes who ask a priest from the archdiocean  offices to come and preach on stewardship whenever they are having unusual financial burdens.

Perhaps now that you realize this, you could send a letter with a donation and stipulate that you want to pledge a certain monthly amount and ask about any archdiocean dues. That would put you back in good standing.

Next, please do go to the fellowship hall. There is bound to be someone who will befriend you. By staying away, you are giving the impression that you don't want to associate with the parish and I'm sure that you don't want to give that impression. Ask what you can do for the parish -- bake for the bake sale, sew for the bazaar, make potted plants for the carnival,   whatever your talents lie. Get involved. They will not force themselves on you; you must make the effort. I felt very awkward too, as my parish had a lot of cliques. So, I noticed some newcomers and formed a newcomer clique. It was wonderful. If you cannot beat the system, join it. Cheesy

At general meetings of the Church, I heard these issues. The poor priest barely gets enough to live on unless he is the pastor of a wealthy Greek or Antiochian parish. As a result, the parishioners who pledge feel that they own the priest. This is the attitude that I have seen in the smaller parishes. It's easy to fall into that trap. So the parishioners who don't pledge are not appreciated because they are considered part of the problem: "They take but don't give."

I hope I haven't offended you. I just wanted to shed some light as some newcomers struggle with the same problems you do. It's not that unusual.

My love and prayers,
Maria
Logged

Glory to Jesus Christ!
Glory to Him forever!
Maria
Orthodox Christian
Taxiarches
**********
Offline Offline

Posts: 7,772


O most Holy Theotokos, save us.


« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2003, 04:42:06 AM »

Oh BTW, a lot of what I shared came from a retreat given by an OCA priest. He actually applied for food stamps because he wasn't getting enough to live on. Then the parish felt embarrassed, had more bake sales, and increased his stipend.
Logged

Glory to Jesus Christ!
Glory to Him forever!
Mary
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 24


OC.net


« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2003, 11:52:25 AM »

Our spiritual father agrees, there is something really wrong in the manner in which our priest has dealt with us.

We have gone to coffee several times.  There is one elderly couple who will sit with us.  Some of the others will ask us how the weather is here and how the drive was and then promptly walk away to visit with their friends and family.  Even Father's wife will stay her distance even when she has left her two small children at our table.  They aren't even Arabs but converts themselves.

We go to church, commune and leave.  What's the point in staying and feeling rejected?  Our church is a very rich church with a new multi-million dollar building with a new mult-million dollar parish hall and classrooms. Absolultely beautiful, but empty on the inside.

My husband, who is very, very knowledgeable about religion and Orthodoxy (he has been Orthodox for 13 years and has brought many converts himself so we aren't just off the street).  He said the priest is suppose to be a shepherd and in 3 years, Father could have asked us to visit with him after Liturgy.

I have to go now, I am off to Catholic Mass.

Mary
Logged
the slave
intolerant of intolerance
High Elder
******
Offline Offline

Faith: Greek Catholic
Jurisdiction: UGCC
Posts: 810



« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2003, 12:28:12 PM »

OK being RC - I don't normally reply on this particular Board but your comments did strike me as very familiar Wink

When I entered the RC Church , I tried very hard to become part of my local Parish. I did everything that seemed to be right - went to coffee after Mass , tried to talk to folk - just as you have done  but all to no avail.

OK after struggling for  2 years like this I gave up the unequal effort - did not worry about Sundays as I was at Mass  Monday to Friday. Shortly after that I was invited to another Church in the next Diocese [ only 20 mins away by car Wink ] and felt at home immediately - and there I have stayed for the last 13 years .

Vicki's advice seems sesnsible to me . You have nothing to lose and everything to gain - try it and see how you get on.
Logged

"Never let anyone try to tell you that, in order to be Orthodox, you must also be eastern. The West was fully Orthodox for a thousand years; and her venerable liturgy is far older than any of her heresies."
- St. John Maximovitch
The Caffeinator
Elder
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 433



« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2003, 03:57:17 PM »

 Cheesy [admiring] Women are brilliant! No wonder guys are always getting in trouble...we can't figure this stuff out! [/admiring]
Logged
the slave
intolerant of intolerance
High Elder
******
Offline Offline

Faith: Greek Catholic
Jurisdiction: UGCC
Posts: 810



« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2003, 04:55:35 PM »

Flattery will get you everywhere :cwm4: :cwm4:
Logged

"Never let anyone try to tell you that, in order to be Orthodox, you must also be eastern. The West was fully Orthodox for a thousand years; and her venerable liturgy is far older than any of her heresies."
- St. John Maximovitch
Maria
Orthodox Christian
Taxiarches
**********
Offline Offline

Posts: 7,772


O most Holy Theotokos, save us.


« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2003, 05:30:45 PM »

We go to church, commune and leave.  What's the point in staying and feeling rejected?  Our church is a very rich church with a new multi-million dollar building with a new mult-million dollar parish hall and classrooms. Absolultely beautiful, but empty on the inside.

Ugh... everything about this situation is just wrong.

If at all possible, try to find another parish.  I go to a mission parish and they feel more like family than any rich old mammoth church... but before you switch parishes, I think it's time you confronted the priest about the alienation you and your husband feel at this church.  

Also, the people there may not realize how far you have to travel to get there--they may be under the impression that you and your husband just don't care about liturgy enough to come more often.  I know it's a wrong and stupid idea for them to have, but that may well be the problem.

I know the same feeling--my parish can be kind of convert-unfriendly.  There are a lot of things I had to either anticipate or figure out as we went along, you know, times where no one was pointing things out or explaining things that they should have known would confuse me, considering how many recent converts go to my parish.  But now that I'm Orthodox, I try to fill in that gap myself.

By the way, I'm new here, so hi everybody!   Smiley

Matrona

Don't confront the priest, it may backfire. I had a problem with a priest whose medication for asthma messed up his brain. Speaking to him did no good; he just wasn't himself.  I spoke to another priest and asked him to keep it confidential, but he didn't and this priest spoke about me to the other priests. It was very hard to find a new confessor after that.

It's just best to quietly find another church or to help start a new one in your neck of the woods. The Antiochians, Greeks and OCA have mission boards that start new churches.

Please get your husband to church for anointing. If that is impossible, then go to the following website: www.goarch.org

Look up the parish directory and email St. Nectarios Church and Shrine in Covina, California. The priest there, Father Ted, advertises in the Greek Orthoodox Observer. He mails blessed oil from the shrine of St. Nectarios and prays for all who ask for help. Many miracles of cancer healings have happened. One priest who was blind can now see. Ask Father to send you the oil.

Hope this helps.
Logged

Glory to Jesus Christ!
Glory to Him forever!
Father Peter
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: British Orthodox Church within the Coptic Orthodox Patriarchate
Posts: 2,605



WWW
« Reply #8 on: December 21, 2003, 05:48:27 PM »

I don't have any useful suggestions, plenty of better qualified people have offered good advice, but you and your husband are certainly in my unworthy prayers.

God bless you both

Peter Theodore
Logged

Lord have mercy upon me a sinner
http://www.orthodoxmedway.org

My blog - http://anorthodoxpriest.blogspot.co.uk

The poster formerly known as peterfarrington
Mary
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 24


OC.net


« Reply #9 on: December 21, 2003, 07:54:54 PM »

Thanks for the tip about the blessed oil.  Father gave us a few drops 3 years ago.  We don't happen to be able to attend church when its given out.  Even this year we won't be able to receive any Holy Water but we have lots left from last year and the year before.  I feel as though I would be a HUGE bother should I ask for either from him since asking for a prayer or even a time when we could meet is a bother.

I am thinking about returning to an OCA church.  It was the very first Orthodox church I ever attended.  We went back this past summer. My husband didn't like it at the time.  I guess it's because that priest wanted me to drive through the mountains at night and to Liturgy on Sundays as well as Vespers on Saturday when I was entering the church.  I would have had to do this all alone at the time since I wasn't married then and my husband lived 3000 miles away then.  So, my husband was able to teach me about the church with his priest's blessing.

God answered our prayers when we were unable to be married on this side of the continent.  We thought for sure there would be no Orthodox wedding for us as we hadn't joined a church at that time.  Out of the blue, an online priest he knew offered to baptise me and marry us if we flew East.  We took him up on that offer.  I know God wants me to be Orthodox!  I love being Orthodox!!!

If I switch churches, would the priest still be the same?  I don't care if the people like or reject us, it's the priest that matters to me at this point.  Maybe my expectations are set way too high.  For me, when asked to pray for someone, I do!  If I were in the clergy and someone needed my prayers or just to talk....I would do it!  

I understand that a priest does not visit those in his parish, nor does he call those who are sick or dying.  It's what I have been taught by observation and first-hand experience.


But I STILL love being Orthodox!!!

Mary
Logged
ambrosemzv
Sr. Member
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 185


Pray unto God for us, Holy Ambrose of Optino!


« Reply #10 on: December 21, 2003, 08:45:33 PM »

Mary,

Your experience is far from typical, and is very unfortunate.  I know of many parishes in which newcomers are warmly welcomed, paid attention to until they have established natural bonds of friendship within the parish, and in which the priest visits hospitalized and sick parishioners quite regularly.  I am lucky enough to belong to such a parish.  I really encourage you to follow Vicki, Maria and others' advice, and look for another parish, even if it means attending only once per month.  Or, starting your own mission.  Though I am unworthy, I'll pray for you and your husband, especially for his health.
Logged

Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne comprend pas.  -Pascal
Mary
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 24


OC.net


« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2003, 09:06:25 PM »

Oh, as far as a mission goes....I know of one Orthodox woman here  (from Russia) with 3 small children.  She only attends Liturgy 2 times a year....Christmas and Pascha because the services are too long.  I know of one young man who is a manager of a busy restaurant....not able to attend Liturgy especially during the summer.  He has started a mission in Washington State before moving here last year.  So he has no time.

That leaves my husband and myself.  I don't think a mission will happen.

There is one mission which is 75 min. away and meets once a month.  It's a private one with the mission meeting over the office of the family business.  The priest was shocked when I informed him that there is no advertisment even in the phone book about the mission.  I happened upon it by chance.  It is NOT listed in the OCA directory and I know the mission is well over 3 years old since we had thought about being married there...until we received the silent treatment that time around. I questioned the advertisement to the priest in front of the owner of the building.  That priest did call us several times....until I questioned that day.  No more calls.  We had offered to write articles about Orthodoxy for the newspapers and try to help with the mission's growth.  My husband has written many articles about Orthodoxy at his former home.  


The Greek Church said first, we don't have the right last name so why go to their church and the Priest and his wife said we had to live near an Orthodox church if we wanted to be Orthodox.  We found the nearest exit at that church.

Mary
Logged
ambrosemzv
Sr. Member
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 185


Pray unto God for us, Holy Ambrose of Optino!


« Reply #12 on: December 21, 2003, 11:33:45 PM »

Goodness, that's quite a string of bad experiences with priests and parishes! Huh
« Last Edit: December 21, 2003, 11:37:59 PM by ambrosemzv » Logged

Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne comprend pas.  -Pascal
Maria
Orthodox Christian
Taxiarches
**********
Offline Offline

Posts: 7,772


O most Holy Theotokos, save us.


« Reply #13 on: December 21, 2003, 11:39:07 PM »

Thanks for the tip about the blessed oil.  Father gave us a few drops 3 years ago.  We don't happen to be able to attend church when its given out.  Even this year we won't be able to receive any Holy Water but we have lots left from last year and the year before.  I feel as though I would be a HUGE bother should I ask for either from him since asking for a prayer or even a time when we could meet is a bother.

I am thinking about returning to an OCA church.  It was the very first Orthodox church I ever attended.  We went back this past summer. My husband didn't like it at the time.  I guess it's because that priest wanted me to drive through the mountains at night and to Liturgy on Sundays as well as Vespers on Saturday when I was entering the church.  I would have had to do this all alone at the time since I wasn't married then and my husband lived 3000 miles away then.  So, my husband was able to teach me about the church with his priest's blessing.

God answered our prayers when we were unable to be married on this side of the continent.  We thought for sure there would be no Orthodox wedding for us as we hadn't joined a church at that time.  Out of the blue, an online priest he knew offered to baptise me and marry us if we flew East.  We took him up on that offer.  I know God wants me to be Orthodox!  I love being Orthodox!!!

If I switch churches, would the priest still be the same?  I don't care if the people like or reject us, it's the priest that matters to me at this point.  Maybe my expectations are set way too high.  For me, when asked to pray for someone, I do!  If I were in the clergy and someone needed my prayers or just to talk....I would do it!  

I understand that a priest does not visit those in his parish, nor does he call those who are sick or dying.  It's what I have been taught by observation and first-hand experience.


But I STILL love being Orthodox!!!

Mary


The OCA priests out here in California do visit the sick and dying. Every year just after the Theophany, the Orthodox Priests visit as many parishioners who want their homes blessed. It is a time to sit down with the priest at the kitchen or dining room table and talk about things.

I hope you can experience a house blessing soon. I find the younger priests are more sympathetic and caring than some of the older ones.

I hope thing work out better for you. Send Father Ted an e-mail or give him a call. He will have the oil sent to you.

Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth
Logged

Glory to Jesus Christ!
Glory to Him forever!
Byzantino
Me Ortodox
Elder
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 353


Orthodox Christian


« Reply #14 on: December 22, 2003, 12:20:41 AM »

At least the majority of your priests know how to speak English!
Logged
nicodemus
Member
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 109


OC.net


« Reply #15 on: December 22, 2003, 04:38:22 PM »

It's a shame you don't live here in Alabama.  Friendly beyond friendly.  My wife (fiancee at the time of the incident) was kicked out her parents' house for wanting to convert to Christianity and we had countless people at our parish offer to house/feed/clothe her and we were just catachumens!

My prayers are that your situation gets better!
Logged
Mary
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 24


OC.net


« Reply #16 on: February 16, 2004, 09:23:05 PM »

We went to a different church for a few times now.  We received a very FRIGID reception.  The woman serving the brunch glared at my husband as she handed him a plate and with me...she chose to serve the people behind me instead and I was left empty handed.

"I was a stranger and you did not welcome me."

Logged
Oblio
Elder
*****
Offline Offline

Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: OCA
Posts: 454

The Pointless One !


WWW
« Reply #17 on: February 16, 2004, 11:23:17 PM »

We went to a different church for a few times now.  We received a very FRIGID reception.  The woman serving the brunch glared at my husband as she handed him a plate and with me...she chose to serve the people behind me instead and I was left empty handed.

"I was a stranger and you did not welcome me."



:sigh:  

I (and I am sure everyone else here) wish you were near our mission.
Logged
Mary
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 24


OC.net


« Reply #18 on: May 25, 2004, 01:02:14 AM »

I know, I complained a lot on this forum about how my husband and I were ignored at our church, especially by the priest.  I would like to leave this newsgroup on a very postive note!

My husband and I have found an OCA church.  We know more people in the last month than we knew at our former church of over 3 years.  There is another couple in our area who make the long trip to the same church as well. The priest has even answered my emails to him and.....this is the best part.....he decided for himself to come bless our house and the other couple's as well ...AND he even had held a Vesper's service in our home!

We are home at last!!!!

Mary
Logged
David
OC.net guru
*******
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: OCA (Diocese of the South)
Posts: 1,952


Retired GM


WWW
« Reply #19 on: May 25, 2004, 01:06:46 AM »

I'm glad to hear everything worked out well, Mary.  In a way it seems that perhaps your previous experience was a cross for your family to bear.  Would you remain steadfast when what you have found as the Truth did not receive you properly?  Indeed, you have been faithful to what you have been given, and thus your talents have been increased.  If you can, it may be helpful to pray for your former parish that they may be more welcoming to those they encounter in the future.  

Again I am very happy everything worked out so well.  Smiley
Logged

"When looking at faults, use a mirror, not a telescope."
-Yazid Ibrahim
David
OC.net guru
*******
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: OCA (Diocese of the South)
Posts: 1,952


Retired GM


WWW
« Reply #20 on: May 25, 2004, 01:09:26 AM »

By the way, what is happening regarding your husband's cancer?  Please let us know so that we can pray for both of you.  I had just reccomended this akathist to another member in another thread, but you may want to take a look at it if you have not already.
Logged

"When looking at faults, use a mirror, not a telescope."
-Yazid Ibrahim
Fr. David
The Poster Formerly Known as "Pedro"
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: OCA, Diocese of the South
Posts: 2,828



WWW
« Reply #21 on: May 25, 2004, 09:19:53 AM »

Rejoicing with Mary...!
Logged

Priest in the Orthodox Church in America - ordained on March 18, 2012

Oh Taste and See (my defunct blog)

From Protestant to Orthodox (my conversion story)
Αριστοκλής
Merarches
***********
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox Catholic
Jurisdiction: American Carpatho-Russian Orthodox Diocese
Posts: 10,026


« Reply #22 on: May 25, 2004, 09:49:49 AM »

I would like to leave this newsgroup on a very postive note!

We are home at last!!!!

Mary

But why leave us now?

Demetri :'(
Logged

"Religion is a neurobiological illness and Orthodoxy is its cure." - Fr. John S. Romanides
Mary
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 24


OC.net


« Reply #23 on: May 25, 2004, 10:34:33 AM »

I didn't know if a couple of people were still on this forum.  They were getting a little too personal for me when I first joined the forum, so I backed off......................way off!!!!  I didn't want people to know who my former priest was.  I understand that he has a lot to deal with since he is not "ethnic" and the parish is very, very ethnic.  

Mary
Logged
Mary
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 24


OC.net


« Reply #24 on: May 25, 2004, 10:40:57 AM »

My husband doesn't have cancer after all!  

I look at this whole situation as God leading us from one Orthodox church to another.  We found a loving, caring priest, soon to be 3 people from this area attending the same church, and have even met people away from church who happen to attend our church.  

And, we have become friends with someone online who is seeking the Church and she has joined us at Divine Liturgy a couple of times!

God is so amazing with His plans!

Christ Has Asended, from earth to heaven!

Mary
Logged
Linus7
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Posts: 2,780



« Reply #25 on: May 25, 2004, 10:54:05 AM »

My husband doesn't have cancer after all!  

I look at this whole situation as God leading us from one Orthodox church to another.  We found a loving, caring priest, soon to be 3 people from this area attending the same church, and have even met people away from church who happen to attend our church.  

And, we have become friends with someone online who is seeking the Church and she has joined us at Divine Liturgy a couple of times!

God is so amazing with His plans!

Christ Has Asended, from earth to heaven!

Mary

Praise God!

That is good news, Mary.

May God continue to bless you and your family.
Logged

The first condition of salvation is to keep the norm of the true faith and in no way to deviate from the established doctrine of the Fathers.
- Pope St. Hormisdas
Mor Ephrem
"Mor is right, you are wrong."
Section Moderator
Hoplitarches
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 15,190


In solidarity with Iraqi and Syrian Nazarenes


WWW
« Reply #26 on: May 25, 2004, 07:18:31 PM »

Glory to God!
Logged

Apolytikion, Tone 1, by Antonis

An eloquent crafter of divine posts
And an inheritor of the line of the Baptist
A righteous son of India
And a new apostle to the internet
O Holy Mor Ephrem,
Intercede for us, that our forum may be saved.


"Mor is a jerk." - kelly
ExOrienteLux
Waning: Spoilers
Sr. Member
****
Offline Offline

Jurisdiction: OCA
Posts: 183



« Reply #27 on: May 27, 2004, 09:46:52 PM »

My husband doesn't have cancer after all!  

I look at this whole situation as God leading us from one Orthodox church to another.  We found a loving, caring priest, soon to be 3 people from this area attending the same church, and have even met people away from church who happen to attend our church.  

And, we have become friends with someone online who is seeking the Church and she has joined us at Divine Liturgy a couple of times!

God is so amazing with His plans!

Christ Has Asended, from earth to heaven!

Mary

Slava Tebje, Gospodi, slava Tebje!

Glory to God!
Logged

Arise, O God! Judge the earth, for to Thee belong all the nations!
Νεκτάριος
Protokentarchos
*********
Offline Offline

Posts: 5,437



« Reply #28 on: May 28, 2004, 12:53:22 AM »

and in honor of your username ExOrienteLux....Gloria Tibi, Domine, Gloria Tibi!
Logged
J
(another Justin)
Member
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 144

OC.net


« Reply #29 on: June 18, 2004, 07:57:08 PM »

I'm glad you found some people who like to chat at coffee hour, and a priest who's attentive to your needs.  I don't know a lot about anything, really (my favorite phrase is "I don't know a lot about..."), but I understand where you're coming from.  My wife and I were going to a church where we're stationed, and the people at the parish were in their own community, which was very Russian as well, and I didn't expect them to just drop operations and turn their heads in my direction, and I'm sure you didn't either.  
     Still, it's hard to get on in a parish where you don't know too many people or the aren't into knowing new people.  I remember joining the Army, and writing to my parish priest back home because I was really going through some intense experiences at that time.  He never wrote back, so I never wrote again from basic training.  He does email me back, however, if I have a serious question about something (even if it takes awhile).  He referred my wife and I to a church that's further from here, but more akin to what we're used to at home.  The priest there is great, and the parishioners are very friendly.
     One thing I've wondered, now that we've been sort of "cut loose" is how the whole Spiritual Father thing works.  As far as I know, he's still the same priest from back home, but I don't confess to him or ask him for advice, so I'm not sure if I have one anymore in the strictest sense of the term.  But I may just have the wrong idea about it.  In any case, thank God (Al hamd-il'-Allah!) for your husband's health!
Logged
fromtheworld
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 1


OC.net


« Reply #30 on: July 18, 2004, 10:54:07 PM »

boy do I idenify with your situation!!   I will try to be nice and orthodox.   I have found that in many parishes the Priest is overwhelmed by the ethnic  parish members especially the families who founded th parish (right or wrong--real problems or just wanting attention) that he has no time left for anyone else--not even the new converts!  He must 'administer' to them.  Basically you have to be AGGRESSIVE to have your time with him.  If your are uncomfortable with this, maybe the neighboring parish (if theres is one) is where you will be more comfortable----and maybe not.  Botom line is that you must HANG IN  there.  Wish I had something more encouraging and helpful for you!!!!
Logged

NULL
Tags:
Pages: 1   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.18 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.103 seconds with 57 queries.