Author Topic: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...  (Read 1946 times)

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Offline Knytshade

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My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« on: November 20, 2009, 08:19:18 PM »
Hello guys.

I guess I'm writing basically because, I'd like to humbly ask for some prayers if I may.  My divorce situation (while easy -- there's no kids), is starting to get sticky.

To keep it short:  he left me 3 years ago--we looked for him (thought something terrible had happened)--then a gal comes later on and starts filling me in (turns out to be the mother of his kid), and tries to arrange a divorce through him--last December, he finally emails me and says he'll get things started (which he should have anyway since it took -him- 3 years...)--I go with it--2 1/2 -- 3 months tick by and I hear nothing--so I write him and ask whats up and he says things have been crazy yada yada, okay, giving him benefit of doubt.

Over the summer, I get do-it-yourself papers to find out just how much junk goes into it and my dad and I have both been to a lawyer to try and figure it out and he didn't seem like he wanted help to both dad and I.  Now, my husband is sending me annoying emails asking me where they are (after I got his address out of him), since he's been 'waiting 2 weeks.'  Today, I got an email from him asking me what's going on since it's apparently been 'a month now,' and is subtly seems to be threatening -me- w/ more legal action (although I don't know what he could do, since I have more than enough evidence on him to prove abandonment etc...).

So, that's it in a nutshell.  I've been trying so very hard to just ignore his childish immaturity and stay strong, but that seems so much harder than it is.  I know I need to get this done (and believe me I DO want to get it done!), but I haven't found anyone who is willing enough to just sit down with me and help me fill this out (and Legal Aid won't help me--I've already tried and they only take domestic abuse cases apparently).

I don't know what to do.  I guess I'm asking for prayers to find some help so I can get this junk done.  I am so angry, so frustrated and so stressed over this that I am unsure of what to do.  I know I shouldn't be angry or afraid, but given the situation, I am finding that to be a lot easier said than done. 

The only real bright spot the last few weeks or so for me has been the beginning of my catechumen classes on 11/12.  I'm going to be made an 'official' catechumen on 11/29 (I have to work this coming Sunday).  I'm both excited and nervous all in one but so very happy. 

My patron is going to be St. Michael the Archangel (He seemed to have chosen me!).  I've been praying to him for awhile now, and as I am thinking of this situation in particular, I am thinking about him a lot (in fact, he immediately came to mind when I read that email).

I sure hope that this entire situation w/ him doesn't ruin or knock me from my path and journey.

Thank you for listening me ramble...and praise God for all of his wonderous blessings. 
"If you leave me free in my religion, I will be very eager to carry out your commands. But if you try to force me to change my faith, I will first surrender my head. I was born a Christian and a Christian I shall die."

--St. John the Russian to his Turkish master

Offline mike

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2009, 08:27:55 PM »
Lord, have mercy upon your Handmaiden!

Offline Pravoslavbob

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2009, 08:28:12 PM »
Lord, have mercy.
Religion is a disease, and Orthodoxy is its cure.

Offline Sakeneko

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2009, 09:35:01 PM »
[HUG], Knytshade.  That's messy, and I can certainly understand why you want to get the papers filed and the whole sad, messy ordeal behind you.  You're in my thoughts and prayers.

What sort of help do you need, specifically?  It sounds as if you are having trouble figuring out how to fill out the necessary papers.  I think you could probably get an hour of time from a paralegal and probably get this done.  With no children and probably no significant assets, it doesn't sound like a complex divorce or one where you really need an attorney.  It might not be a bad idea to get one if you can afford it, just to be sure that if your ex-husband ran up any debts in the last few years you won't be held responsible.  But the basic paperwork shouldn't be that big an issue.

Offline HandmaidenofGod

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2009, 10:11:15 PM »
Lord have mercy!
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jer 29:11

Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2009, 10:15:37 PM »
Lord, have mercy!
Conquer evil men by your gentle kindness, and make zealous men wonder at your goodness. Put the lover of legality to shame by your compassion. With the afflicted be afflicted in mind. Love all men, but keep distant from all men.
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Offline SolEX01

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2009, 11:23:14 PM »
Lord have Mercy.

No-fault divorce, if applicable in your Jurisdiction, would suit the situation you described.

Offline GabrieltheCelt

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #7 on: November 20, 2009, 11:51:56 PM »
Lord, have mercy upon Thy handmaiden. 


I know from experience: divorce, even if you're the petitioner, is difficult to go through.  PM me if you wanna talk.
"The Scots-Irish; Brewed in Scotland, bottled in Ireland, uncorked in America."  ~Scots-Irish saying

Offline Alveus Lacuna

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2009, 12:09:45 AM »
Lord, have mercy.

Offline ozgeorge

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #9 on: November 21, 2009, 12:15:47 AM »
Through the prayers of the Theotokos, Saviour save us!
If you're living a happy life as a Christian, you're doing something wrong.

Offline Órëlaurëa

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2009, 03:26:11 AM »
Lord have mercy on thy handmaiden and grant her peace.
Domine Iesu Christe, Fili Dei, miserere mei, peccatricis.

órë: noun \"heart"\ (inner mind),   laurëa: adjective \"golden, like gold"\ http://www.uib.no/People/hnohf/quenya.htm

Offline Fr. George

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #11 on: November 21, 2009, 08:02:58 AM »
Lord, have mercy.
"O Cross of Christ, all-holy, thrice-blessed, and life-giving, instrument of the mystical rites of Zion, the holy Altar for the service of our Great Archpriest, the blessing - the weapon - the strength of priests, our pride, our consolation, the light in our hearts, our mind, and our steps"
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Offline Heorhij

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #12 on: November 21, 2009, 08:43:29 AM »
Lord, have mercy!
Love never fails.

Offline EofK

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2009, 09:37:12 AM »
Lord, have mercy.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams

Offline cizinec

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #14 on: November 21, 2009, 11:05:07 AM »
"I've been trying so very hard to just ignore his childish immaturity and stay strong, but that seems so much harder than it is."

What do you mean by "stay strong"?  Does that mean be kind and nice to this <deleted>?  Even the Good Lord overturned the tables in the synagogue.  Overturn some doggone tables and get rid of this jack rabbit.  People have a free choice to be decent or to be useless, and this guy sounds more useless than owl poop on a pump handle. 

I don't know about your state's laws, but if you can hammer him for abandonment or some such thing, and that will make the divorce happen quicker, do it.  Pray for peace, but if someone declares war, you be the last one standing.

If times get really tough and things don't seem to be making any sense, move to Texas.  Everything makes more sense in Texas.
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Online PeterTheAleut

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #15 on: November 22, 2009, 12:37:54 AM »
Lord, have mercy!


Please remember that this is the prayer forum.  If all you want to do is offer advice, please start another thread on another board for this purpose.  Thank you.
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Offline Basil 320

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #16 on: November 22, 2009, 01:43:57 AM »
"Lord Have Mercy."
"...Strengthen the Orthodox Community..."

Offline cizinec

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Re: My long, drawn-out divorce situation...
« Reply #17 on: November 22, 2009, 02:18:18 AM »
Dear Lord, please send someone to offer this poor lady some advice.

Amen.
"Brother, your best friend ain't your Momma, it's the Field Artillery."