Author Topic: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment  (Read 5087 times)

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Offline Iconodule

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #90 on: October 25, 2018, 12:08:01 PM »
It's possible that they could be taking a while to think it over, discuss it, etc before they reply- it hasn't been that long. We're talking about administrators here. Not that I would hold my breath.
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Offline Saxon

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #91 on: October 25, 2018, 12:47:40 PM »
Metropolitan Hilarion responded almost immediately, and told me that a complaint must be forwarded to Archbishop Gabriel, as it falls within Canadian jurisdiction. I am very, very concerned about that.

Offline RaphaCam

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #92 on: October 25, 2018, 01:01:10 PM »
Had you already sent these e-mails before you posted here about it last Tuesday? I mean, you're exposing a very serious problem to busy people, it could take more than two days for them to come up with a reasonable answer.
« Last Edit: October 25, 2018, 01:03:45 PM by RaphaCam »
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Offline Mor Ephrem

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #93 on: October 25, 2018, 01:40:42 PM »
Multiple emails to the Canadian hierarchy and the Eastern Diocese have been ignored. I have now emailed Metropolitan Hilarion directly. Very disappointing but not surprising.

You should not expect a quick reply.  Nothing against ROCOR in particular, most jurisdictions will simply not respond so quickly as you seem to want.  It’s not necessarily ignoring you, either.
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Offline hecma925

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #94 on: October 25, 2018, 01:43:58 PM »
Metropolitan Hilarion responded almost immediately, and told me that a complaint must be forwarded to Archbishop Gabriel, as it falls within Canadian jurisdiction. I am very, very concerned about that.

He's not wrong.
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Offline Saxon

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #95 on: November 11, 2018, 12:37:10 AM »
I stopped waffling and finally submitted the complaint. We'll wait and see.

I have also begun attending a local OCA parish. I emailed the priest and explained my story from start to finish. We met for coffee and spoke for several hours. It was a very constructive and comforting conversation. I felt that he effectively put into context why I never grew spiritually in my former parish, why my marriage failed and why I acted as I did. I felt very, very awkward attending church for the first time since all this happened, but he has been very supportive and assured me that I'm not beyond redemption and, for the first time since this nightmare started, I'm feeling some hope. I purchased some more icons and have actually started praying again. It's still a "one day at a time" kind of thing, but hopefully with some impending closure from my old priest and a promising path ahead, things will get better.

Offline JTLoganville

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #96 on: November 11, 2018, 12:51:04 AM »
Glory to Jesus Christ!

Offline hecma925

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #97 on: November 11, 2018, 12:54:23 AM »
Glory to Our God.  One day is all we have. 
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline FinnJames

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #98 on: November 11, 2018, 02:32:18 AM »
May your new church home be the home you need for growth and acceptance! So glad to hear your troubles are reaching a satisfactory ending.

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #99 on: November 11, 2018, 09:39:12 AM »
Slava Bogu! (Glory to God!)
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Offline IXOYE

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #100 on: November 11, 2018, 10:25:16 AM »
I stopped waffling and finally submitted the complaint. We'll wait and see.

I have also begun attending a local OCA parish. I emailed the priest and explained my story from start to finish. We met for coffee and spoke for several hours. It was a very constructive and comforting conversation. I felt that he effectively put into context why I never grew spiritually in my former parish, why my marriage failed and why I acted as I did. I felt very, very awkward attending church for the first time since all this happened, but he has been very supportive and assured me that I'm not beyond redemption and, for the first time since this nightmare started, I'm feeling some hope. I purchased some more icons and have actually started praying again. It's still a "one day at a time" kind of thing, but hopefully with some impending closure from my old priest and a promising path ahead, things will get better.

Sounds like good news with a fresh start at a new parish.  Hope all goes well for you, Saxon!  God bless!

Offline Ainnir

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #101 on: November 11, 2018, 06:10:28 PM »
Praise God. 
Is any of the above Orthodox?  I have no clue, so there's that.

Offline Alpha60

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #102 on: November 12, 2018, 01:50:01 PM »
Saxon:
    The posters have given good advice, but the forum can only go so far.  I hope you find a live person/persons who can help you with this.  You have been through some serious stuff.

Thanks, everyone has been very helpful and supportive and I greatly appreciate it. I'm in the system now and waiting to see where my inquiries go within ROCOR. I'm also readying a physical letter with printouts of screenshots of conversations with the priest and his family admitting the assault which I'll mail to Metropolitan Hilarion. I'll post updates if anything happens.

Have you reported this to the police?  I feel like you should have done that when he gave you the concussion, and hired a lawyer.
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Offline Saxon

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #103 on: November 12, 2018, 02:08:46 PM »
Saxon:
    The posters have given good advice, but the forum can only go so far.  I hope you find a live person/persons who can help you with this.  You have been through some serious stuff.

Thanks, everyone has been very helpful and supportive and I greatly appreciate it. I'm in the system now and waiting to see where my inquiries go within ROCOR. I'm also readying a physical letter with printouts of screenshots of conversations with the priest and his family admitting the assault which I'll mail to Metropolitan Hilarion. I'll post updates if anything happens.

Have you reported this to the police?  I feel like you should have done that when he gave you the concussion, and hired a lawyer.

I didn't go to the police as his primary job is as a carpenter and criminal charges would result in the loss of that, and as much as I've finished any association with him and his family, I would feel sorry for his wife and children as I know they're not financially well-off. That, and at the time I was still trying to make my marriage work, and had I even complained about him to the church hierarchy my wife would have left. The sticking point for me is that this and other behaviour I witnessed from him is horribly unacceptable for the leader of a church community. I received a rather encouraging email from the Archbishop this morning, stating that the incident was unacceptable and that a meeting is being called.

Offline Iconodule

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #104 on: November 12, 2018, 02:10:38 PM »
That's good to hear.
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Offline Sethrak

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #105 on: November 12, 2018, 09:41:47 PM »
Saxon ~ this is a terrible turn of events ~ I truly feel your pain and frustration ~ I have reread your posts ~ you've been put in an very bad position with no help or understanding given but instead it sounds like openly hindered ~ how alone you must feel ~ I feel with you ```

May Our God come to your side and strengthen you in this road and trial ```

I will ask the Lord right now in prayer to aid you brother ```

Offline Saxon

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #106 on: November 26, 2018, 04:13:36 PM »
Apparently he received a telling off and nothing more. Although apparently it was sufficient for the rest of his family to block me on Facebook. The parish hosted a miracle-working icon this past weekend with the priest front-and-centre. Prayers for that parish, I suppose.

Offline Agabus

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #107 on: November 26, 2018, 04:34:24 PM »
Apparently he received a telling off and nothing more. Although apparently it was sufficient for the rest of his family to block me on Facebook. The parish hosted a miracle-working icon this past weekend with the priest front-and-centre. Prayers for that parish, I suppose.

Remember, even if you didn't get a desired outcome, you're a report in the log. If there is another victim to come forward, it will be noted that it isn't the first complaint.
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Offline Sethrak

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #108 on: November 26, 2018, 04:40:00 PM »
This is such a rotten thing to have happened ~ the parish of course has never been on the end of that club this abush (fool) pretend priest ~ and see him as a man of God with the best of intentions ```

My prayers are for you ~ having been handled badly by this bully and others around him ~ God be with you Saxon ~ may He reward you with good ~ true friends and send help in the person of one who has your best interests at heart ```

I know a lady who was in kind of similar trial ( in a protestant community ) she lost her faith over the treatment she received ```

Again ~ God be with you brother ~ Lord please send help to our brother ```




seth

Offline IreneOlinyk

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #109 on: November 26, 2018, 04:52:59 PM »
So sorry Saxon.  Remember we are praying for you here.  We pray that you will find a parish and be fed spiritually and also make some new Christian friends who will support you.

Offline IXOYE

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #110 on: November 26, 2018, 09:38:27 PM »
Apparently he received a telling off and nothing more. Although apparently it was sufficient for the rest of his family to block me on Facebook. The parish hosted a miracle-working icon this past weekend with the priest front-and-centre. Prayers for that parish, I suppose.

Remember, even if you didn't get a desired outcome, you're a report in the log. If there is another victim to come forward, it will be noted that it isn't the first complaint.

^ This.

Offline Sharbel

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #111 on: November 27, 2018, 12:27:20 AM »
Shake the dust off your sandals, move on and do not look back.
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Offline Sethrak

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #112 on: November 27, 2018, 07:22:06 PM »
Much easier said than done ~ what a blow ~ yes, get yourself together ~ move into where your can smile and be smiled at ~ in some way get a note of love to your woman ~ saying only good ~ that you will always care ~ don't beg ~ that you'll put your life together ~ and Say something like " Thanks for a crazy, wonderful time "

I truly feel your hurt and worry ~ ask our Lord to send help ```

God love your brother ~ I will now and then when talking with him ~ refer to you ```

I'd like to be in the loop ~ say how it is going ```

seth

Offline Iconodule

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #113 on: November 28, 2018, 07:39:40 AM »
Apparently he received a telling off and nothing more. Although apparently it was sufficient for the rest of his family to block me on Facebook. The parish hosted a miracle-working icon this past weekend with the priest front-and-centre. Prayers for that parish, I suppose.

Remember, even if you didn't get a desired outcome, you're a report in the log. If there is another victim to come forward, it will be noted that it isn't the first complaint.

^ This.

I agree. I’d say it’s a minor win, considering that some people in similar situations find themselves put on trial instead of the abusers. That priest is on notice now and had better be careful in the future.
Mencius said, “Instruction makes use of many techniques. When I do not deign to instruct someone, that too is a form of instruction.”

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Offline IXOYE

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Re: Parish Priest Behavior and Church Disenchantment
« Reply #114 on: November 28, 2018, 10:10:08 PM »
Apparently he received a telling off and nothing more. Although apparently it was sufficient for the rest of his family to block me on Facebook. The parish hosted a miracle-working icon this past weekend with the priest front-and-centre. Prayers for that parish, I suppose.

Remember, even if you didn't get a desired outcome, you're a report in the log. If there is another victim to come forward, it will be noted that it isn't the first complaint.

^ This.

I agree. I’d say it’s a minor win, considering that some people in similar situations find themselves put on trial instead of the abusers. That priest is on notice now and had better be careful in the future.

I agree with what you wrote.  It could have been turned and gone worse.  It also could have been dismissed or wrote off.