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Author Topic: Stuff Kids Say  (Read 11165 times) Average Rating: 5
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TinaG
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« on: October 30, 2009, 11:09:12 PM »

Oh boy.  My 9 YO was watching one of those stupid ghost hunting shows with my sister-in-law and I was trying to explain preach to him why (a) these shows are so misleading and unscientific and not "proof" of anything except overactive imaginations and camera effects, and (b) as an Orthodox Christian we have to be very careful about what we expose ourselves to and that demons and spirits are a real presence in our lives, blah blah blah.  You know how Moms love to preach at their kids.

He pops back immediately and tells me "But yeah Mom, what's gonna happen to me?  It's not like I'm gonna become Baptist or something."  (My husband's family is nominally Baptist).

(This from the same kid who said to me "I'm not a Christian, I'm Orthodox.")
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« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2009, 11:14:49 PM »

From the mouths of babes...  laugh
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« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2009, 11:21:50 PM »

Lol. Smiley  Also...

Quote
This from the same kid who said to me "I'm not a Christian, I'm Orthodox."

I think this is funny in that many people I know would like to deny that they are of a particular affiliation and would just say that they are Christian (usually from non-denominational types who take the concept very seriously).

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« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2009, 11:32:57 PM »

Going off the thread title, a few years back we were all over at my mom's for Christmas.  Everyone (or so we thought) was in the dining room finishing up their Christmas dinner.  You can imagine, after hearing my niece scream at the top of her lungs, how we all jumped up and ran into the the living room where the screams were coming from.  Both my nephew and niece were standing in front of the fireplace, my niece staring into the fire crying.  Before any of us could ask what happened, my nephew said, with eyes as big as silver dollars, "I didn't throw her Barbie in the fire daddy!"  Needless to say, the day didn't end well for my nephew or his behind.  Cheesy  He laughs about it now.
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« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2009, 11:39:48 PM »

Not an Orthodox story, but one of my favorites:

Little fellow (then about three years old, and baptised Roman Catholic) is taken by his mom to a rosary service commemorating a recently-deceased member of the family. While in church, he is heard softly saying "Gesu" and "Mamma Gesu" every time he spotted a painting or statue. Then, he spotted a statue of Jesus with his hands raised in benediction. In a louder voice, he called: "Gesu! High Five!!" There wasn't a soul in that church who didn't hear it. And, according to his mom, maintaining one's composure was impossible for some.

Gorgeous.
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« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2009, 11:40:50 PM »

The other day after picking up my daughter from day care, while we were still in the car, the following conversation took place:

Caitlin: Oh, Daddy? Want to watch Sesame Street?
Me: Maybe we can watch it when we get home.
Caitlin: Okay, Daddy, okay. That's a good idea.

 Grin
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« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2009, 11:44:28 PM »

There's this little Russian girl (4 years old) at my parish who comes with her grandmother. Her mother's an atheist but she sometimes comes along. A few Sundays ago:

Mother: "How do you know Jesus is real?"
Little girl: "Of course He's real!!!! His picture is EVERYWHERE!!!!"
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« Reply #7 on: October 30, 2009, 11:46:03 PM »

Like all kids, my daughters liked repeating things that they heard, though sometimes it could be quite funny (at least to us as parents). For example, we always thought it was cute and funny when our (at the time) 3 1/2 year old would scold her 2 year old sister "Don't you do it again Sahara Rylee!"
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« Reply #8 on: October 30, 2009, 11:47:43 PM »

To all the newer or soon to be parents reading this thread, if I can give one piece of advice, it's to write this stuff down.  You think you're going to remember every funny thing your child does or says, but you never do and then its lost forever.  I'm sure I'm never going to forget the time my 7 yo pulled down his shorts and mooned the school cafeteria at lunchtime (this was right before his ADHD diagnosis), but there are many more things I've probably forgotten.  Years from now your kids will never really seem grown up if you can still laugh at the stuff they did.
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« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2009, 04:02:22 AM »

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« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2009, 08:27:37 AM »

^ Cosby is a brilliant mind and a great teacher. I would have loved to have seen him in a classroom.
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« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2009, 08:44:37 AM »



Man I used to like that pen when I was a kid, lol.
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« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2009, 11:34:19 AM »

There's this little Russian girl (4 years old) at my parish who comes with her grandmother. Her mother's an atheist but she sometimes comes along. A few Sundays ago:

Mother: "How do you know Jesus is real?"
Little girl: "Of course He's real!!!! His picture is EVERYWHERE!!!!"

That's a good one. One time, at the seminary, there was a hierarch at the Divine Liturgy and a big Byzantine choir, which was chanting before Holy Communion, so the chapel was full of scores of male voices. The hierarch came out of the Beautiful Gates with the Chalice and everything went suddenly silent. You could hear a pin drop. Before the Bishop could chant "With the fear...", this two-year old boy, in his dad's arms, points at the Bishop excitedly and yells: "IT'S YUM-YUM TIME!!!!"
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« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2009, 11:46:05 AM »

Thought of another one. Couple years ago, we were in Constantinople for a conference. During dinner, everyone in our group went up to the Ecumenical Patriarch for a blessing, including some kids, one of whom had a loose tooth.

We all got blessings and headed back to our table. All of the sudden, one of the moms goes: "Where's Irini!?" She turns around and gasps.

Unbeknown to us, Irini had pulled out her tooth and scampered back to the Patriarch's table. Apparently, she marched right up to the Patriarch, seated with about eight Metropolitans, and declared: "Your All-Holiness, I just pulled out my tooth!!! Will you bless it too?"

He did so.
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« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2009, 11:51:21 AM »

@pensateomnia: awesome story!
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« Reply #15 on: November 01, 2009, 04:13:56 PM »

Our two year old daughter has a habit of narrating what she's doing, so the other day she found our Nintendo DS and took it off the desk while saying, "Want to play computer?  Ok, you're welcome, Caitlin, you're welcome."
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« Reply #16 on: November 04, 2009, 05:04:50 AM »

Cait is the cutest. . . on Sunday morning right after you got there she came up to me and said, "Mommy and daddy are here and my baby brother." I had to smile. I think she might grow up to be a writer. Or a sports commentator. Wink
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« Reply #17 on: November 04, 2009, 05:12:55 AM »

Our two year old daughter has a habit of narrating what she's doing, so the other day she found our Nintendo DS and took it off the desk while saying, "Want to play computer?  Ok, you're welcome, Caitlin, you're welcome."

 Grin I like that one!

My parents were sitting in their living room one night, when they heard a little voice narrating seriously, 'climbing out of his cot now ... coming downstairs now ... BISCUIT NOW!'

Aw ... my brother was sweet once ...
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« Reply #18 on: November 04, 2009, 05:34:16 AM »

There's this little Russian girl (4 years old) at my parish who comes with her grandmother. Her mother's an atheist but she sometimes comes along. A few Sundays ago:

Mother: "How do you know Jesus is real?"
Little girl: "Of course He's real!!!! His picture is EVERYWHERE!!!!"

That's a good one. One time, at the seminary, there was a hierarch at the Divine Liturgy and a big Byzantine choir, which was chanting before Holy Communion, so the chapel was full of scores of male voices. The hierarch came out of the Beautiful Gates with the Chalice and everything went suddenly silent. You could hear a pin drop. Before the Bishop could chant "With the fear...", this two-year old boy, in his dad's arms, points at the Bishop excitedly and yells: "IT'S YUM-YUM TIME!!!!"
I remember a 2-year-old girl yelling out the same exact phrase in my church once during that time of prayerful silence when the priest was cutting up the Lamb for distribution to the faithful.
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« Reply #19 on: November 04, 2009, 05:40:28 AM »

Going off the thread title, a few years back we were all over at my mom's for Christmas.  Everyone (or so we thought) was in the dining room finishing up their Christmas dinner.  You can imagine, after hearing my niece scream at the top of her lungs, how we all jumped up and ran into the the living room where the screams were coming from.  Both my nephew and niece were standing in front of the fireplace, my niece staring into the fire crying.  Before any of us could ask what happened, my nephew said, with eyes as big as silver dollars, "I didn't throw her Barbie in the fire daddy!"  Needless to say, the day didn't end well for my nephew or his behind.  Cheesy  He laughs about it now.
My Grandma Jane, of blessed memory, once told a story about her second or third birthday party when her mother (my great grandmother) brought out a birthday cake that didn't bake properly and came out of the oven kinda lopsided.  According to her story, Grandma burst into tears and cried out at the top of her lungs, "MAMA, MY CAKE'S ALL SHOT TO HELL!"
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« Reply #20 on: November 04, 2009, 07:24:38 AM »

My (at the time) seven year old daughter had a favorite pair of jeans that she would wear every day. One evening, my wife told her to go take them off so she could wash them saying they were getting so dirty they could walk by themselves.

My daughter turned to go take them off but also said, "O good, I can teach them to do tricks!"
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« Reply #21 on: November 06, 2009, 10:18:30 PM »



Man I used to like that pen when I was a kid, lol.

 Cheesy I'd have done just about anything for that pen!! Cheesy
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« Reply #22 on: November 07, 2009, 01:58:04 AM »

Let's see what my 4 year old has said ....

Just last week, he told me to "stop talking, Daddy."

A few months ago, he told his older sisters, who were watching him, that they can go home now.

Usually, he tells me that I have a monkey on my head or on top of the car.

Finally, he wanted me to keep saying, "Chuck E. Cheese doesn't want kids to leave kicking and screaming" after I took him out of Chuck E. Cheese kicking and screaming.
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« Reply #23 on: November 07, 2009, 10:41:19 AM »

Our two year old daughter has a habit of narrating what she's doing, so the other day she found our Nintendo DS and took it off the desk while saying, "Want to play computer?  Ok, you're welcome, Caitlin, you're welcome."

That's very much like our daughter Maryana. When she was between 1.5 and 2 y.o., she used to talk about herself in the third person, and also made her stuffed animals "answer" her, addressing her by her first name.

There was a very popular Italian singer in the 1980's, named Toto Cutunio (not sure about spelling). Once, Maryana (about 2 y.o.) was listening, very attentively, how Cutunio was singing some love song on TV. Lesya asked her: "Tell me, what is Toto Cutunio singing about?" Maryana answered, "Toto Cutunio sings, "Maryana, go to the potty...""
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« Reply #24 on: November 07, 2009, 11:54:14 AM »

My 3 y/o nephew is in the process of being potty trained, and although he knows what to do, he only uses the toilet at his discretion, much to the chagrin of his father.

The other day he was with his father, looked at him straight in the eye and said, "I just want you to know Daddy that I am peeing in my pamper as we speak!"

 laugh  laugh
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« Reply #25 on: November 07, 2009, 01:42:27 PM »

Mother: "How do you know Jesus is real?"
Little girl: "Of course He's real!!!! His picture is EVERYWHERE!!!!"
Logical fallacy: appeal to iconography. police

Unbeknown to us, Irini had pulled out her tooth and scampered back to the Patriarch's table. Apparently, she marched right up to the Patriarch, seated with about eight Metropolitans, and declared: "Your All-Holiness, I just pulled out my tooth!!! Will you bless it too?"

He did so.
Wow, that's awesome. Shocked Grin
(...though I think that Irini is a she. Tongue)

The other day he was with his father, looked at him straight in the eye and said, "I just want you to know Daddy that I am peeing in my pamper as we speak!"
Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
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« Reply #26 on: November 07, 2009, 03:49:20 PM »

Unbeknown to us, Irini had pulled out her tooth and scampered back to the Patriarch's table. Apparently, she marched right up to the Patriarch, seated with about eight Metropolitans, and declared: "Your All-Holiness, I just pulled out my tooth!!! Will you bless it too?"

He did so.
Wow, that's awesome. Shocked Grin
(...though I think that Irini is a she. Tongue)

The "he" refers to the Patriarch, who blessed the tooth and Irini.
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« Reply #27 on: November 09, 2009, 01:03:22 AM »

Our two year old daughter has a habit of narrating what she's doing, so the other day she found our Nintendo DS and took it off the desk while saying, "Want to play computer?  Ok, you're welcome, Caitlin, you're welcome."

That's very much like our daughter Maryana. When she was between 1.5 and 2 y.o., she used to talk about herself in the third person, and also made her stuffed animals "answer" her, addressing her by her first name.

There was a very popular Italian singer in the 1980's, named Toto Cutunio (not sure about spelling). Once, Maryana (about 2 y.o.) was listening, very attentively, how Cutunio was singing some love song on TV. Lesya asked her: "Tell me, what is Toto Cutunio singing about?" Maryana answered, "Toto Cutunio sings, "Maryana, go to the potty...""

How funny!  They're so cute at that age.  Every day is a wonder.
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« Reply #28 on: November 09, 2009, 01:16:00 AM »

According to a post on the SVS Twitter feed a few weeks ago, at a hierarchical liturgy being celebrated by Met. Jonah in the chapel there, one of the children announced, "The bishop is beautiful!"   laugh
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« Reply #29 on: November 09, 2009, 11:37:11 PM »

My oldest (Melanie) when she was about 3 yrs. old, used to announce the Priest of our church with "It's Jesus!" on a regular basis.

My Youngest, (Cecilia) 14 months now says "Its a Bug!" alteast fifty times a day after a recent run-in with a Wolf Spider.

Melanie also, to this day can not pronounce the word "popsicle". It has been Pee-Cople, Pospickle,  and Pobspickle...although if she concentrates, she says it just fine.
Oh yah! The best is a new word for any type of Lint or fuzz found anywhere on the body or floor..."Boff". This word was coined at the discovery of toe-jam when she was 2 yrs. old. We still call things "Boffs" on a regular basis and I have been guilty of this in front of many friends, as a part of my regular vocabulary!
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« Reply #30 on: November 10, 2009, 10:56:33 AM »

Unbeknown to us, Irini had pulled out her tooth and scampered back to the Patriarch's table. Apparently, she marched right up to the Patriarch, seated with about eight Metropolitans, and declared: "Your All-Holiness, I just pulled out my tooth!!! Will you bless it too?"

He did so.
Wow, that's awesome. Shocked Grin
(...though I think that Irini is a she. Tongue)
The "he" refers to the Patriarch, who blessed the tooth and Irini.
That makes it even funnier and I also feel like an idiot. Thank you for both. Grin Tongue
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« Reply #31 on: January 02, 2010, 11:39:12 PM »

"But yeah Mom, what's gonna happen to me? 
(This from the same kid who said to me "I'm not a Christian, I'm Orthodox.")

 Cheesy  have him talk to the priest @ church, he should be able to help Cheesy
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« Reply #32 on: January 03, 2010, 12:09:04 AM »

This isn't hilarious or anything, but it did make me smile, if confusedly.

I was not able to take my children to see certain of their family for Christmas this year (we usually visit before Christmas, and they open presents at that time), so the family all sent presents home with me for my kids to open on Christmas. Because of this, getting presents from four different households, in addition to my own presents for them, they had a mound of presents to open. They are 3 and 4 1/2, and don't really get the idea of it being polite to open all the presents before you start playing with them. So anyway, here they are wanting to play with each present they opened. About half way through, my youngest daughter started to refuse to open any more presents. She just kept saying "no!" every time I tried to coax her into opening more. Then, she finally started taking an interest in them, but she wanted me to open them. I tried explaining to her that they were her presents to open, but she persisted: "no! you open them!" They got totally burnt out opening them, and when all was said and done they still had a dozen presents to open. I guess aunts, grandmothers and great grandmothers--and maybe Dad--spoil the kids with too many presents sometimes.

Sorry if that offends anyone. I know many here are aghast at the consumerism of American culture. I just thought it was cute. I guess the kids are sending a message, though.
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« Reply #33 on: January 03, 2010, 08:29:35 AM »

^That's a sweet story.  Kids have an honesty about them that would make an adult seem rude if we said the same things.  Smiley
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« Reply #34 on: January 04, 2010, 05:28:40 PM »

I guess aunts, grandmothers and great grandmothers--and maybe Dad--spoil the kids with too many presents sometimes.
That is a problem with Orthodox families sometimes.

My kids have gotten used to getting presents strung out between December 25th and January 7th, just to keep them from getting overwhelmed that way (particularly when they were younger).
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« Reply #35 on: January 04, 2010, 05:53:25 PM »

I overheard my 9 year old son encouraging his 5 year old sister to concentrate on her homework:

"Finish your homework, or else you may have to go to Auburn when you grow up."

True story.


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« Reply #36 on: January 04, 2010, 05:58:06 PM »

It seems that the mot ordinary things are 100 times funnier when a toddler says them.  Our daughter Caitlin was looking for some toy the other day so I told her, "It's over there in your toy bin."  She spotted it across the room, turned to me and said, "Oh!  You're right!"

Funnier still was when her 3 month old brother was crying while I was changing his clothes and she runs up to the changing table and says, "Oh Evan, be quiet."
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« Reply #37 on: January 04, 2010, 09:46:23 PM »

Melanie also, to this day can not pronounce the word "popsicle". It has been Pee-Cople, Pospickle,  and Pobspickle...although if she concentrates, she says it just fine.

Cute! Cheesy Reminds me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f8nRZFlLew
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« Reply #38 on: January 05, 2010, 12:00:15 PM »

Funnier still was when her 3 month old brother was crying while I was changing his clothes and she runs up to the changing table and says, "Oh Evan, be quiet."
Haha, it's cool when toddlers are mimicking grown-ups. laugh
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« Reply #39 on: January 05, 2010, 01:52:40 PM »

Funnier still was when her 3 month old brother was crying while I was changing his clothes and she runs up to the changing table and says, "Oh Evan, be quiet."
Haha, it's cool when toddlers are mimicking grown-ups. laugh

It is really funny, mostly because they can't quite pronounce words right or understand the full social implications of what they've said.
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« Reply #40 on: January 06, 2010, 01:13:55 PM »

I overheard my 9 year old son encouraging his 5 year old sister to concentrate on her homework:

"Finish your homework, or else you may have to go to Auburn when you grow up."
Evidence that you teach your kids well (I think Undecided).
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« Reply #41 on: January 06, 2010, 05:58:23 PM »

In Texas, especially in the families of UT alums, it's "Finish your homework or you'll end up as an Aggie."
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« Reply #42 on: January 08, 2010, 06:54:38 PM »

I don't care I have posted it in the another one topic. It's to awesome to be hidden:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJH3M8szXS4&feature=player_embedded#
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« Reply #43 on: January 11, 2010, 02:10:43 AM »

I don't care I have posted it in the another one topic. It's to awesome to be hidden:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJH3M8szXS4&feature=player_embedded#

I was just about to start a thread for this!! Too awesome!
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« Reply #44 on: January 11, 2010, 01:51:35 PM »


Once many years ago when my nephew was about six we were coming out of a store and he noticed a wrapped stick of gum on the sidewalk.  He picked it up and began unwrapping it to chew.  My sister hollered at him saying - "Brian throw that away it has germs on it!"  He threw it away and said to his grandmother - 'Germs, Jesus, and Santa Claus.  That's all she ever talks about and I ain't seen one of them yet!"

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