TinaG
I am not a pessimist - I'm just grimly realistic!
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If only my family were this normal !
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« on: October 30, 2009, 11:09:12 PM » |
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Oh boy. My 9 YO was watching one of those stupid ghost hunting shows with my sister-in-law and I was trying to explain preach to him why (a) these shows are so misleading and unscientific and not "proof" of anything except overactive imaginations and camera effects, and (b) as an Orthodox Christian we have to be very careful about what we expose ourselves to and that demons and spirits are a real presence in our lives, blah blah blah. You know how Moms love to preach at their kids.
He pops back immediately and tells me "But yeah Mom, what's gonna happen to me? It's not like I'm gonna become Baptist or something." (My husband's family is nominally Baptist).
(This from the same kid who said to me "I'm not a Christian, I'm Orthodox.")
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On the spiritual path somewhere between the Simpsons and St. Theophan the Recluse, but I still can't see the Springfield city limits sign yet.
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HandmaidenofGod
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« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2009, 11:14:49 PM » |
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From the mouths of babes...  |
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"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jer 29:11
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Asteriktos
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« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2009, 11:21:50 PM » |
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Lol.  Also... This from the same kid who said to me "I'm not a Christian, I'm Orthodox." I think this is funny in that many people I know would like to deny that they are of a particular affiliation and would just say that they are Christian (usually from non-denominational types who take the concept very seriously). |
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GabrieltheCelt
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« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2009, 11:32:57 PM » |
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Going off the thread title, a few years back we were all over at my mom's for Christmas. Everyone (or so we thought) was in the dining room finishing up their Christmas dinner. You can imagine, after hearing my niece scream at the top of her lungs, how we all jumped up and ran into the the living room where the screams were coming from. Both my nephew and niece were standing in front of the fireplace, my niece staring into the fire crying. Before any of us could ask what happened, my nephew said, with eyes as big as silver dollars, "I didn't throw her Barbie in the fire daddy!" Needless to say, the day didn't end well for my nephew or his behind.  He laughs about it now. |
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LBK
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« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2009, 11:39:48 PM » |
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Not an Orthodox story, but one of my favorites:
Little fellow (then about three years old, and baptised Roman Catholic) is taken by his mom to a rosary service commemorating a recently-deceased member of the family. While in church, he is heard softly saying "Gesu" and "Mamma Gesu" every time he spotted a painting or statue. Then, he spotted a statue of Jesus with his hands raised in benediction. In a louder voice, he called: "Gesu! High Five!!" There wasn't a soul in that church who didn't hear it. And, according to his mom, maintaining one's composure was impossible for some.
Gorgeous.
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ytterbiumanalyst
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« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2009, 11:40:50 PM » |
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The other day after picking up my daughter from day care, while we were still in the car, the following conversation took place: Caitlin: Oh, Daddy? Want to watch Sesame Street? Me: Maybe we can watch it when we get home. Caitlin: Okay, Daddy, okay. That's a good idea.  |
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"It is remarkable that what we call the world...in what professes to be true...will allow in one man no blemishes, and in another no virtue."--Charles Dickens
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Orthodox11
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« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2009, 11:44:28 PM » |
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There's this little Russian girl (4 years old) at my parish who comes with her grandmother. Her mother's an atheist but she sometimes comes along. A few Sundays ago:
Mother: "How do you know Jesus is real?"
Little girl: "Of course He's real!!!! His picture is EVERYWHERE!!!!"
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Asteriktos
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« Reply #7 on: October 30, 2009, 11:46:03 PM » |
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Like all kids, my daughters liked repeating things that they heard, though sometimes it could be quite funny (at least to us as parents). For example, we always thought it was cute and funny when our (at the time) 3 1/2 year old would scold her 2 year old sister "Don't you do it again Sahara Rylee!"
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TinaG
I am not a pessimist - I'm just grimly realistic!
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If only my family were this normal !
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« Reply #8 on: October 30, 2009, 11:47:43 PM » |
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To all the newer or soon to be parents reading this thread, if I can give one piece of advice, it's to write this stuff down. You think you're going to remember every funny thing your child does or says, but you never do and then its lost forever. I'm sure I'm never going to forget the time my 7 yo pulled down his shorts and mooned the school cafeteria at lunchtime (this was right before his ADHD diagnosis), but there are many more things I've probably forgotten. Years from now your kids will never really seem grown up if you can still laugh at the stuff they did.
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On the spiritual path somewhere between the Simpsons and St. Theophan the Recluse, but I still can't see the Springfield city limits sign yet.
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Alveus Lacuna
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« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2009, 04:02:22 AM » |
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ytterbiumanalyst
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« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2009, 08:27:37 AM » |
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^ Cosby is a brilliant mind and a great teacher. I would have loved to have seen him in a classroom.
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"It is remarkable that what we call the world...in what professes to be true...will allow in one man no blemishes, and in another no virtue."--Charles Dickens
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Asteriktos
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« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2009, 08:44:37 AM » |
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 Man I used to like that pen when I was a kid, lol. |
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« Last Edit: October 31, 2009, 08:44:50 AM by Asteriktos »
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pensateomnia
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« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2009, 11:34:19 AM » |
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There's this little Russian girl (4 years old) at my parish who comes with her grandmother. Her mother's an atheist but she sometimes comes along. A few Sundays ago:
Mother: "How do you know Jesus is real?"
Little girl: "Of course He's real!!!! His picture is EVERYWHERE!!!!"
That's a good one. One time, at the seminary, there was a hierarch at the Divine Liturgy and a big Byzantine choir, which was chanting before Holy Communion, so the chapel was full of scores of male voices. The hierarch came out of the Beautiful Gates with the Chalice and everything went suddenly silent. You could hear a pin drop. Before the Bishop could chant "With the fear...", this two-year old boy, in his dad's arms, points at the Bishop excitedly and yells: "IT'S YUM-YUM TIME!!!!" |
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But for I am a man not textueel I wol noght telle of textes neuer a deel. (Chaucer, The Manciple's Tale, 1.131)
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pensateomnia
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« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2009, 11:46:05 AM » |
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Thought of another one. Couple years ago, we were in Constantinople for a conference. During dinner, everyone in our group went up to the Ecumenical Patriarch for a blessing, including some kids, one of whom had a loose tooth.
We all got blessings and headed back to our table. All of the sudden, one of the moms goes: "Where's Irini!?" She turns around and gasps.
Unbeknown to us, Irini had pulled out her tooth and scampered back to the Patriarch's table. Apparently, she marched right up to the Patriarch, seated with about eight Metropolitans, and declared: "Your All-Holiness, I just pulled out my tooth!!! Will you bless it too?"
He did so.
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But for I am a man not textueel I wol noght telle of textes neuer a deel. (Chaucer, The Manciple's Tale, 1.131)
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Michał Kalina
proud Podlachian Belarusian parajournalistic engineer in spe
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OC.net's trickster
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« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2009, 11:51:21 AM » |
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@pensateomnia: awesome story!
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formerly known as mikeDespite being a Polish citizen I am not a Pole.  Long live Belarus! "It's my constitutional right!" |
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EofK
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« Reply #15 on: November 01, 2009, 04:13:56 PM » |
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Our two year old daughter has a habit of narrating what she's doing, so the other day she found our Nintendo DS and took it off the desk while saying, "Want to play computer? Ok, you're welcome, Caitlin, you're welcome."
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams
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Órëlaurëa
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« Reply #16 on: November 04, 2009, 05:04:50 AM » |
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Cait is the cutest. . . on Sunday morning right after you got there she came up to me and said, "Mommy and daddy are here and my baby brother." I had to smile. I think she might grow up to be a writer. Or a sports commentator.  |
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Liz
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« Reply #17 on: November 04, 2009, 05:12:55 AM » |
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Our two year old daughter has a habit of narrating what she's doing, so the other day she found our Nintendo DS and took it off the desk while saying, "Want to play computer? Ok, you're welcome, Caitlin, you're welcome."
I like that one! My parents were sitting in their living room one night, when they heard a little voice narrating seriously, 'climbing out of his cot now ... coming downstairs now ... BISCUIT NOW!' Aw ... my brother was sweet once ... |
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PeterTheAleut
The Right Blowhard Peter the Furtive of Yetts O'Muckhart
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EXTERMINATE!
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« Reply #18 on: November 04, 2009, 05:34:16 AM » |
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There's this little Russian girl (4 years old) at my parish who comes with her grandmother. Her mother's an atheist but she sometimes comes along. A few Sundays ago:
Mother: "How do you know Jesus is real?"
Little girl: "Of course He's real!!!! His picture is EVERYWHERE!!!!"
That's a good one. One time, at the seminary, there was a hierarch at the Divine Liturgy and a big Byzantine choir, which was chanting before Holy Communion, so the chapel was full of scores of male voices. The hierarch came out of the Beautiful Gates with the Chalice and everything went suddenly silent. You could hear a pin drop. Before the Bishop could chant "With the fear...", this two-year old boy, in his dad's arms, points at the Bishop excitedly and yells: "IT'S YUM-YUM TIME!!!!" I remember a 2-year-old girl yelling out the same exact phrase in my church once during that time of prayerful silence when the priest was cutting up the Lamb for distribution to the faithful. |
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« Last Edit: November 04, 2009, 05:35:34 AM by PeterTheAleut »
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PeterTheAleut
The Right Blowhard Peter the Furtive of Yetts O'Muckhart
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EXTERMINATE!
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« Reply #19 on: November 04, 2009, 05:40:28 AM » |
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Going off the thread title, a few years back we were all over at my mom's for Christmas. Everyone (or so we thought) was in the dining room finishing up their Christmas dinner. You can imagine, after hearing my niece scream at the top of her lungs, how we all jumped up and ran into the the living room where the screams were coming from. Both my nephew and niece were standing in front of the fireplace, my niece staring into the fire crying. Before any of us could ask what happened, my nephew said, with eyes as big as silver dollars, "I didn't throw her Barbie in the fire daddy!" Needless to say, the day didn't end well for my nephew or his behind. He laughs about it now. My Grandma Jane, of blessed memory, once told a story about her second or third birthday party when her mother (my great grandmother) brought out a birthday cake that didn't bake properly and came out of the oven kinda lopsided. According to her story, Grandma burst into tears and cried out at the top of her lungs, "MAMA, MY CAKE'S ALL SHOT TO HELL!" |
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« Last Edit: November 04, 2009, 05:41:43 AM by PeterTheAleut »
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basilthefool
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« Reply #20 on: November 04, 2009, 07:24:38 AM » |
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My (at the time) seven year old daughter had a favorite pair of jeans that she would wear every day. One evening, my wife told her to go take them off so she could wash them saying they were getting so dirty they could walk by themselves.
My daughter turned to go take them off but also said, "O good, I can teach them to do tricks!"
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SolEX01
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« Reply #22 on: November 07, 2009, 01:58:04 AM » |
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Let's see what my 4 year old has said ....
Just last week, he told me to "stop talking, Daddy."
A few months ago, he told his older sisters, who were watching him, that they can go home now.
Usually, he tells me that I have a monkey on my head or on top of the car.
Finally, he wanted me to keep saying, "Chuck E. Cheese doesn't want kids to leave kicking and screaming" after I took him out of Chuck E. Cheese kicking and screaming.
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Heorhij
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« Reply #23 on: November 07, 2009, 10:41:19 AM » |
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Our two year old daughter has a habit of narrating what she's doing, so the other day she found our Nintendo DS and took it off the desk while saying, "Want to play computer? Ok, you're welcome, Caitlin, you're welcome."
That's very much like our daughter Maryana. When she was between 1.5 and 2 y.o., she used to talk about herself in the third person, and also made her stuffed animals "answer" her, addressing her by her first name. There was a very popular Italian singer in the 1980's, named Toto Cutunio (not sure about spelling). Once, Maryana (about 2 y.o.) was listening, very attentively, how Cutunio was singing some love song on TV. Lesya asked her: "Tell me, what is Toto Cutunio singing about?" Maryana answered, "Toto Cutunio sings, "Maryana, go to the potty..."" |
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Love never fails.
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HandmaidenofGod
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« Reply #24 on: November 07, 2009, 11:54:14 AM » |
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My 3 y/o nephew is in the process of being potty trained, and although he knows what to do, he only uses the toilet at his discretion, much to the chagrin of his father. The other day he was with his father, looked at him straight in the eye and said, "I just want you to know Daddy that I am peeing in my pamper as we speak!" |
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"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jer 29:11
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GammaRay
The Awful Preacher
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Alexandros Papadiamantis
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« Reply #25 on: November 07, 2009, 01:42:27 PM » |
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Mother: "How do you know Jesus is real?"
Little girl: "Of course He's real!!!! His picture is EVERYWHERE!!!!" Logical fallacy: appeal to iconography.  Unbeknown to us, Irini had pulled out her tooth and scampered back to the Patriarch's table. Apparently, she marched right up to the Patriarch, seated with about eight Metropolitans, and declared: "Your All-Holiness, I just pulled out my tooth!!! Will you bless it too?"
He did so.
Wow, that's awesome.  (...though I think that Irini is a she.  ) The other day he was with his father, looked at him straight in the eye and said, "I just want you to know Daddy that I am peeing in my pamper as we speak!" |
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Though I've walked the valley of the shadow of the death, I've fallen not. Not completely. Not yet.
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pensateomnia
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« Reply #26 on: November 07, 2009, 03:49:20 PM » |
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Unbeknown to us, Irini had pulled out her tooth and scampered back to the Patriarch's table. Apparently, she marched right up to the Patriarch, seated with about eight Metropolitans, and declared: "Your All-Holiness, I just pulled out my tooth!!! Will you bless it too?"
He did so.
Wow, that's awesome. (...though I think that Irini is a she. ) The "he" refers to the Patriarch, who blessed the tooth and Irini. |
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But for I am a man not textueel I wol noght telle of textes neuer a deel. (Chaucer, The Manciple's Tale, 1.131)
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EofK
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« Reply #27 on: November 09, 2009, 01:03:22 AM » |
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Our two year old daughter has a habit of narrating what she's doing, so the other day she found our Nintendo DS and took it off the desk while saying, "Want to play computer? Ok, you're welcome, Caitlin, you're welcome."
That's very much like our daughter Maryana. When she was between 1.5 and 2 y.o., she used to talk about herself in the third person, and also made her stuffed animals "answer" her, addressing her by her first name. There was a very popular Italian singer in the 1980's, named Toto Cutunio (not sure about spelling). Once, Maryana (about 2 y.o.) was listening, very attentively, how Cutunio was singing some love song on TV. Lesya asked her: "Tell me, what is Toto Cutunio singing about?" Maryana answered, "Toto Cutunio sings, "Maryana, go to the potty..."" How funny! They're so cute at that age. Every day is a wonder. |
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams
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Orual
Orthodoxy = 7, not 3
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I'm just here for the food.
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« Reply #28 on: November 09, 2009, 01:16:00 AM » |
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According to a post on the SVS Twitter feed a few weeks ago, at a hierarchical liturgy being celebrated by Met. Jonah in the chapel there, one of the children announced, "The bishop is beautiful!" |
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« Last Edit: November 09, 2009, 01:16:33 AM by Orual »
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He spoke it as kindly and heartily as could be; as if a man dashed a gallon of cold water in your broth and never doubted you'd like it all the better.
- C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces
f.k.a. Matron.a
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simplygermain
beer-bellied tellitubby
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Zechariah 11:7
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« Reply #29 on: November 09, 2009, 11:37:11 PM » |
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My oldest (Melanie) when she was about 3 yrs. old, used to announce the Priest of our church with "It's Jesus!" on a regular basis.
My Youngest, (Cecilia) 14 months now says "Its a Bug!" alteast fifty times a day after a recent run-in with a Wolf Spider.
Melanie also, to this day can not pronounce the word "popsicle". It has been Pee-Cople, Pospickle, and Pobspickle...although if she concentrates, she says it just fine.
Oh yah! The best is a new word for any type of Lint or fuzz found anywhere on the body or floor..."Boff". This word was coined at the discovery of toe-jam when she was 2 yrs. old. We still call things "Boffs" on a regular basis and I have been guilty of this in front of many friends, as a part of my regular vocabulary!
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« Last Edit: November 09, 2009, 11:38:08 PM by simplygermain »
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I believe, help Thou my unbelief!! - St. John of Krondstadt http://Http://hairshirtagenda.blogspot.com Witega: "Bishops and Metropolitans and even Patriarchs have been removed under decidedly questionable circumstances before but the Church moves on." |
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GammaRay
The Awful Preacher
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Alexandros Papadiamantis
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« Reply #30 on: November 10, 2009, 10:56:33 AM » |
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Unbeknown to us, Irini had pulled out her tooth and scampered back to the Patriarch's table. Apparently, she marched right up to the Patriarch, seated with about eight Metropolitans, and declared: "Your All-Holiness, I just pulled out my tooth!!! Will you bless it too?"
He did so.
Wow, that's awesome. (...though I think that Irini is a she. ) The "he" refers to the Patriarch, who blessed the tooth and Irini. That makes it even funnier and I also feel like an idiot. Thank you for both. |
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Though I've walked the valley of the shadow of the death, I've fallen not. Not completely. Not yet.
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Asteriktos
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« Reply #32 on: January 03, 2010, 12:09:04 AM » |
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This isn't hilarious or anything, but it did make me smile, if confusedly.
I was not able to take my children to see certain of their family for Christmas this year (we usually visit before Christmas, and they open presents at that time), so the family all sent presents home with me for my kids to open on Christmas. Because of this, getting presents from four different households, in addition to my own presents for them, they had a mound of presents to open. They are 3 and 4 1/2, and don't really get the idea of it being polite to open all the presents before you start playing with them. So anyway, here they are wanting to play with each present they opened. About half way through, my youngest daughter started to refuse to open any more presents. She just kept saying "no!" every time I tried to coax her into opening more. Then, she finally started taking an interest in them, but she wanted me to open them. I tried explaining to her that they were her presents to open, but she persisted: "no! you open them!" They got totally burnt out opening them, and when all was said and done they still had a dozen presents to open. I guess aunts, grandmothers and great grandmothers--and maybe Dad--spoil the kids with too many presents sometimes.
Sorry if that offends anyone. I know many here are aghast at the consumerism of American culture. I just thought it was cute. I guess the kids are sending a message, though.
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« Last Edit: January 03, 2010, 12:13:36 AM by Asteriktos »
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EofK
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« Reply #33 on: January 03, 2010, 08:29:35 AM » |
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^That's a sweet story. Kids have an honesty about them that would make an adult seem rude if we said the same things. |
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams
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BoredMeeting
Loving the Life of a Council Member
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« Reply #34 on: January 04, 2010, 05:28:40 PM » |
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I guess aunts, grandmothers and great grandmothers--and maybe Dad--spoil the kids with too many presents sometimes. That is a problem with Orthodox families sometimes. My kids have gotten used to getting presents strung out between December 25th and January 7th, just to keep them from getting overwhelmed that way (particularly when they were younger). |
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Gebre Menfes Kidus
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« Reply #35 on: January 04, 2010, 05:53:25 PM » |
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I overheard my 9 year old son encouraging his 5 year old sister to concentrate on her homework:
"Finish your homework, or else you may have to go to Auburn when you grow up."
True story.
Selam
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"Salvation is free, but not easy. It is completely dependent upon the grace of God, and yet we must work it out with fear and trembling. It is given to all, but only a few find it. We are saved only by His Cross, and yet not without taking up our own." +GMK+
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EofK
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« Reply #36 on: January 04, 2010, 05:58:06 PM » |
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It seems that the mot ordinary things are 100 times funnier when a toddler says them. Our daughter Caitlin was looking for some toy the other day so I told her, "It's over there in your toy bin." She spotted it across the room, turned to me and said, "Oh! You're right!"
Funnier still was when her 3 month old brother was crying while I was changing his clothes and she runs up to the changing table and says, "Oh Evan, be quiet."
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams
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wynd
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Transfiguration
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« Reply #37 on: January 04, 2010, 09:46:23 PM » |
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Melanie also, to this day can not pronounce the word "popsicle". It has been Pee-Cople, Pospickle, and Pobspickle...although if she concentrates, she says it just fine.
Cute! Reminds me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f8nRZFlLew |
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GammaRay
The Awful Preacher
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Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Greek
Posts: 574
Alexandros Papadiamantis
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« Reply #38 on: January 05, 2010, 12:00:15 PM » |
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Funnier still was when her 3 month old brother was crying while I was changing his clothes and she runs up to the changing table and says, "Oh Evan, be quiet." Haha, it's cool when toddlers are mimicking grown-ups. |
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Though I've walked the valley of the shadow of the death, I've fallen not. Not completely. Not yet.
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EofK
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« Reply #39 on: January 05, 2010, 01:52:40 PM » |
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Funnier still was when her 3 month old brother was crying while I was changing his clothes and she runs up to the changing table and says, "Oh Evan, be quiet." Haha, it's cool when toddlers are mimicking grown-ups. It is really funny, mostly because they can't quite pronounce words right or understand the full social implications of what they've said. |
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams
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PeterTheAleut
The Right Blowhard Peter the Furtive of Yetts O'Muckhart
Section Moderator
Exarchos
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Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: OCA
Posts: 25,991
EXTERMINATE!
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« Reply #40 on: January 06, 2010, 01:13:55 PM » |
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I overheard my 9 year old son encouraging his 5 year old sister to concentrate on her homework:
"Finish your homework, or else you may have to go to Auburn when you grow up."
Evidence that you teach your kids well (I think  ). |
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Cymbyz
Sr. Member
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Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America
Posts: 494
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« Reply #41 on: January 06, 2010, 05:58:23 PM » |
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In Texas, especially in the families of UT alums, it's "Finish your homework or you'll end up as an Aggie."
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The end of the world
is as near as the day of your death;
watch and pray.
Yahoo! & WLM ID: Owen
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Michał Kalina
proud Podlachian Belarusian parajournalistic engineer in spe
Section Moderator
Hypatos
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Faith: Christian
Jurisdiction: Diocese of Białystok and Gdańsk / Diocese of Warsaw and Bielsk Podlaski
Posts: 15,369
OC.net's trickster
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« Reply #42 on: January 08, 2010, 06:54:38 PM » |
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I don't care I have posted it in the another one topic. It's to awesome to be hidden: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJH3M8szXS4&feature=player_embedded# |
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formerly known as mikeDespite being a Polish citizen I am not a Pole. Long live Belarus! "It's my constitutional right!" |
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John of the North
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« Reply #43 on: January 11, 2010, 02:10:43 AM » |
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I was just about to start a thread for this!! Too awesome! |
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"Christianity is not a philosophy, not a doctrine, but life." - Elder Sophrony (Sakharov)
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Orthodoc
Supporter & Defender Of Orthodoxy
Archon
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Faith: Orthodox Catholic
Jurisdiction: OCA
Posts: 2,526
Those who ignore history tend to repeat it.
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« Reply #44 on: January 11, 2010, 01:51:35 PM » |
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Once many years ago when my nephew was about six we were coming out of a store and he noticed a wrapped stick of gum on the sidewalk. He picked it up and began unwrapping it to chew. My sister hollered at him saying - "Brian throw that away it has germs on it!" He threw it away and said to his grandmother - 'Germs, Jesus, and Santa Claus. That's all she ever talks about and I ain't seen one of them yet!"
Orthodoc
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Oh Lord, Save thy people and bless thine inheritance.
Grant victory to the Orthodox Christians over their adversaries.
And by virtue of thy Cross preserve thy habitation.
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