Author Topic: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?  (Read 2961 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Anastasia1

  • My warrior name is Beyoncé Pad Thai
  • OC.net guru
  • *******
  • Posts: 1,216
  • Faith: Oriental Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Armenian
orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« on: November 21, 2014, 04:52:47 PM »
Did any of you run into a situation where some family/ friends would find an orthodox church wedding with crowning and building too weird for them? How would you or did you deal with the situation?
Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation. (2 Cor 2:6)

Offline TheTrisagion

  • The Purple Demon is gonna get you if you don't watch out!
  • Toumarches
  • ************
  • Posts: 11,350
  • Faith: Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Antiochian
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2014, 04:54:15 PM »
Smash a plate and yell "Opa!"
Quote from: Mor Ephrem
Why can't you just take your spiritual edification like a man? 

Offline Justin Kissel

  • •|•|•
  • Protospatharios
  • ****************
  • Posts: 31,555
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2014, 05:12:53 PM »
American society has three unbreakable rules governing social etiquette across the lifespan: you can never tell a mother that her baby is ugly, you can never say anything except complimentary things to a couple on their wedding day, and you can never speak honestly at a funeral if it will make the deceased or their immediate family look bad.

Seriously. :) I'm not sure what problems people would have, unless they were vehemently iconoclastic or something, and even then I'm not sure that it'd 've a big deal, or that anything could be done. Though to be honest, if someone wouldn't attend a wedding (or would attend but express displeasure) because the building or service or something made them feel weird, I don't  I'd give them much of a response regardless. Unless there is some major issue or taboo or something that I am unaware of. ???
We all have an El Guapo to face. Be brave, and fight like lions!

Form a 'brute squad' then!

Offline podkarpatska

  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 9,198
  • Pokrov
    • ACROD (home)
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2014, 05:19:07 PM »
American society has three unbreakable rules governing social etiquette across the lifespan: you can never tell a mother that her baby is ugly, you can never say anything except complimentary things to a couple on their wedding day, and you can never speak honestly at a funeral if it will make the deceased or their immediate family look bad.

Seriously. :) I'm not sure what problems people would have, unless they were vehemently iconoclastic or something, and even then I'm not sure that it'd 've a big deal, or that anything could be done. Though to be honest, if someone wouldn't attend a wedding (or would attend but express displeasure) because the building or service or something made them feel weird, I don't  I'd give them much of a response regardless. Unless there is some major issue or taboo or something that I am unaware of. ???

I have to say that over the years the only kind of observations that I've heard of our weddings is how remarkable and beautiful they are.

Offline Maria

  • Orthodox Christian
  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 10,979
  • O most Holy Theotokos, save us.
  • Faith: Orthodox Christian
  • Jurisdiction: GOC
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2014, 06:26:14 PM »
Almost all of the Orthodox Christian weddings I have attended have a specially designed booklet describing the ceremony and what all the symbols mean: the crown, the icons, and any customs or traditions that may seem a little strange. They also have the actual service translated into English, especially if it is in Greek.

Some of these booklets are very creative. A groom who was into construction used nuts and bolts to fasten his wedding booklet. Others use ribbons, etc.

Almost everyone was amazed at how beautiful Orthodox Christian Churches or chapels are. They are far more appreciated than a wedding chapel in Las Vegas or a court room.
« Last Edit: November 21, 2014, 06:29:25 PM by Maria »
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline LBK

  • No Reporting Allowed
  • Toumarches
  • ************
  • Posts: 12,247
  • Holy Father Patrick, pray for us!
  • Faith: Orthodox
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2014, 06:29:01 PM »

I have to say that over the years the only kind of observations that I've heard of our weddings is how remarkable and beautiful they are.

My exact experience as well.
« Last Edit: November 21, 2014, 06:29:17 PM by LBK »
No longer posting here. Anyone is welcome to email me at the address in my profile.

Offline NicholasMyra

  • Avowed denominationalist
  • Taxiarches
  • **********
  • Posts: 6,304
  • Nepsis or Sepsis™
  • Faith: Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Antiochian+Greek
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2014, 02:41:01 AM »
Did any of you run into a situation where some family/ friends would find an orthodox church wedding with crowning and building too weird for them?
Too weird as in it will cause a panic attack, or too weird it will cause gossip?
Quote from: Orthonorm
if Christ does and says x. And someone else does and says not x and you are ever in doubt, follow Christ.

Πλούσιοι επτώχευσαν και επείνασαν
Οιδε εκζητούντες τον Κύριον
Ουκ ελαττωθήσονται παντός αγαθού

Offline JamesR

  • Virginal Chicano Blood
  • Taxiarches
  • **********
  • Posts: 6,384
  • St. Augustine of Hippo pray for me!
  • Faith: Misotheistic Eastern Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Orthodox Church *of* America
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2014, 03:52:58 AM »
Fortunately for me I come from a dysfunctional Mexican family so I'll be lucky if my parents attend my wedding assuming I find some mail-order bride someday, and they're used to the weirdness of Orthodoxy by now. Although I assume they could take offense at not being able to hold the titles as "best man" or "flower-girl" or whatever since they're not Orthodox.
...Or it's just possible he's a mouthy young man on an internet forum.
In the infinite wisdom of God, James can be all three.

Offline Agia Marina

  • Site Supporter
  • Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 424
  • St. Marina of Antioch
    • Holy Cross Monastery
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2014, 06:31:52 AM »
The wife of my husband's best man told my hubby that she found our wedding ceremony to be "joyless".  But then, she comes from a happy-clappy tradition where where if they don't have a rock band and snake handlers in church, it just isn't true worship.

Fortunately, my hubby told me about her comment after the reception.  He was very wise in that decision.
“When I have a little money I buy books; and if any is left, I buy food and clothes.” - Erasmus

"God became man so that man might become a god." ~St. Athanasius the Great

Poster formerly known as EVOO.

Offline TheTrisagion

  • The Purple Demon is gonna get you if you don't watch out!
  • Toumarches
  • ************
  • Posts: 11,350
  • Faith: Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Antiochian
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2014, 12:04:29 PM »
The wife of my husband's best man told my hubby that she found our wedding ceremony to be "joyless".  But then, she comes from a happy-clappy tradition where where if they don't have a rock band and snake handlers in church, it just isn't true worship.

Fortunately, my hubby told me about her comment after the reception.  He was very wise in that decision.
Who on earth would tell someone getting married that their wedding is "joyless"?  :o I want to slap her myself...
Quote from: Mor Ephrem
Why can't you just take your spiritual edification like a man? 

Offline DeniseDenise

  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 3,939
  • This place holds to nothing....
  • Faith: Does it matter?
  • Jurisdiction: Unverifiable, so irrelevant
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2014, 12:23:55 PM »
The wife of my husband's best man told my hubby that she found our wedding ceremony to be "joyless".  But then, she comes from a happy-clappy tradition where where if they don't have a rock band and snake handlers in church, it just isn't true worship.

Fortunately, my hubby told me about her comment after the reception.  He was very wise in that decision.

You may have been 'joyless' but at least there was no need for anti-venom chasers.

Offline Agia Marina

  • Site Supporter
  • Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 424
  • St. Marina of Antioch
    • Holy Cross Monastery
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #11 on: November 22, 2014, 01:14:56 PM »
The wife of my husband's best man told my hubby that she found our wedding ceremony to be "joyless".  But then, she comes from a happy-clappy tradition where where if they don't have a rock band and snake handlers in church, it just isn't true worship.

Fortunately, my hubby told me about her comment after the reception.  He was very wise in that decision.
Who on earth would tell someone getting married that their wedding is "joyless"?  :o I want to slap her myself...
To top it all off, immediately after the ceremony she protested the use of icons and made that fact known, in no uncertain terms, to one of the novices at the monastery where we were married.  Needless to say, I don't think we'll be inviting them to my husband's Chrismation.  :)
« Last Edit: November 22, 2014, 01:19:15 PM by Agia Marina »
“When I have a little money I buy books; and if any is left, I buy food and clothes.” - Erasmus

"God became man so that man might become a god." ~St. Athanasius the Great

Poster formerly known as EVOO.

Offline TheTrisagion

  • The Purple Demon is gonna get you if you don't watch out!
  • Toumarches
  • ************
  • Posts: 11,350
  • Faith: Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Antiochian
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #12 on: November 22, 2014, 01:41:56 PM »
The wife of my husband's best man told my hubby that she found our wedding ceremony to be "joyless".  But then, she comes from a happy-clappy tradition where where if they don't have a rock band and snake handlers in church, it just isn't true worship.

Fortunately, my hubby told me about her comment after the reception.  He was very wise in that decision.
Who on earth would tell someone getting married that their wedding is "joyless"?  :o I want to slap her myself...
To top it all off, immediately after the ceremony she protested the use of icons and made that fact known, in no uncertain terms, to one of the novices at the monastery where we were married.  Needless to say, I don't think we'll be inviting them to my husband's Chrismation.  :)
With friends like that, who needs enemies?  :o
Quote from: Mor Ephrem
Why can't you just take your spiritual edification like a man? 

Offline Aram

  • Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 320
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #13 on: November 22, 2014, 01:42:45 PM »
When my sister got married, one of the very-out-of-place guests told my mom something like "it was so nice that you put so much Jesus in the service."



Some people don't, and won't get it. That just goes with the territory.

Offline Agia Marina

  • Site Supporter
  • Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 424
  • St. Marina of Antioch
    • Holy Cross Monastery
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #14 on: November 22, 2014, 01:52:42 PM »
There's no underestimating ignorance and bad manners.  Regarding the OP, just ignore bad manners (unless it gets out of hand).  You'll be more judicious in inviting them to any future church-related functions, celebrations, or ceremonies.  ;)

“When I have a little money I buy books; and if any is left, I buy food and clothes.” - Erasmus

"God became man so that man might become a god." ~St. Athanasius the Great

Poster formerly known as EVOO.

Offline Maria

  • Orthodox Christian
  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 10,979
  • O most Holy Theotokos, save us.
  • Faith: Orthodox Christian
  • Jurisdiction: GOC
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #15 on: November 22, 2014, 02:10:48 PM »
There were a bunch of relatives we did not even invite due to their bent for making anti-Orthodox statements. Instead, they were sent wedding announcements (or very late invitations) that the event had already taken place.

By the way, whenever their sons and daughters have gotten hitched, we were never sent invitations as they did not want any Orthodoxers present at their Baptist weddings.
« Last Edit: November 22, 2014, 02:12:12 PM by Maria »
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline mabsoota

  • Archon
  • ********
  • Posts: 2,853
  • Kyrie eleison
  • Faith: Christian
  • Jurisdiction: Orthodox (Coptic)
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #16 on: November 22, 2014, 03:07:28 PM »
have an early and beautiful orthodox wedding.
then have a formal dinner with speeches etc. if that's what the family enjoys
(and if you can trust them with the speeches...)

Offline Aram

  • Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 320
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #17 on: November 22, 2014, 03:12:37 PM »
There were a bunch of relatives we did not even invite due to their bent for making anti-Orthodox statements. Instead, they were sent wedding announcements (or very late invitations) that the event had already taken place.

By the way, whenever their sons and daughters have gotten hitched, we were never sent invitations as they did not want any Orthodoxers present at their Baptist weddings.
And on the other side of the coin, those people are all looking at their lack of invite and are probably saying the same thing about you.

What was that thing Christ said that one time, turning the other cheek and all of that? They're family, right?

Offline NicholasMyra

  • Avowed denominationalist
  • Taxiarches
  • **********
  • Posts: 6,304
  • Nepsis or Sepsis™
  • Faith: Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Antiochian+Greek
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #18 on: November 22, 2014, 03:13:23 PM »
When my sister got married, one of the very-out-of-place guests told my mom something like "it was so nice that you put so much Jesus in the service."



Some people don't, and won't get it. That just goes with the territory.
What didn't they get?
Quote from: Orthonorm
if Christ does and says x. And someone else does and says not x and you are ever in doubt, follow Christ.

Πλούσιοι επτώχευσαν και επείνασαν
Οιδε εκζητούντες τον Κύριον
Ουκ ελαττωθήσονται παντός αγαθού

Offline Aram

  • Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 320
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #19 on: November 22, 2014, 03:19:55 PM »
When my sister got married, one of the very-out-of-place guests told my mom something like "it was so nice that you put so much Jesus in the service."



Some people don't, and won't get it. That just goes with the territory.
What didn't they get?
The idea that one would go to a very traditional wedding service at an Armenian Orthodox Church and be pleasantly surprised it included, you know, Jesus Christ?

Offline JamesR

  • Virginal Chicano Blood
  • Taxiarches
  • **********
  • Posts: 6,384
  • St. Augustine of Hippo pray for me!
  • Faith: Misotheistic Eastern Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Orthodox Church *of* America
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #20 on: November 22, 2014, 05:47:44 PM »
When my sister got married, one of the very-out-of-place guests told my mom something like "it was so nice that you put so much Jesus in the service."



Some people don't, and won't get it. That just goes with the territory.

I don't know. That doesn't sound too bad. Many Churches don't include "Much Jesus." I don't think her expected for a lack of Jesus was due in a hatred toward Orthodoxy as much as it was a simple pessimism about most Churches regardless of affiliation. Besides, she complimented you.
...Or it's just possible he's a mouthy young man on an internet forum.
In the infinite wisdom of God, James can be all three.

Offline JamesR

  • Virginal Chicano Blood
  • Taxiarches
  • **********
  • Posts: 6,384
  • St. Augustine of Hippo pray for me!
  • Faith: Misotheistic Eastern Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Orthodox Church *of* America
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #21 on: November 22, 2014, 05:51:22 PM »
have an early and beautiful orthodox wedding.
then have a formal dinner with speeches etc. if that's what the family enjoys
(and if you can trust them with the speeches...)

If it were up to me I'd just have the wedding then it'd be straight off to the hotel room. Forget all that reception stuff. But yeah, this is a good idea. If they're not going to enjoy the wedding, perhaps a grand reception could appease them. But truth be told, I'd rather have a tiny wedding with just my siblings and two best friends present. Maybe my parents too.
...Or it's just possible he's a mouthy young man on an internet forum.
In the infinite wisdom of God, James can be all three.

Offline podkarpatska

  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 9,198
  • Pokrov
    • ACROD (home)
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #22 on: November 22, 2014, 07:10:59 PM »
When my sister got married, one of the very-out-of-place guests told my mom something like "it was so nice that you put so much Jesus in the service."


Some people don't, and won't get it. That just goes with the territory.

Some/many people are stupid. They think the term "Orthodox" refers to Jews so perhaps these folks thought it "nice" that Jesus was included...
« Last Edit: November 22, 2014, 07:11:22 PM by podkarpatska »

Offline Mor Ephrem

  • The Fourteenth Apostle and Judge of the Interwebs
  • Section Moderator
  • Stratopedarches
  • *****
  • Posts: 20,652
    • OrthodoxChristianity.net
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #23 on: November 22, 2014, 08:44:20 PM »
If it were up to me I'd just have the wedding then it'd be straight off to the hotel room.

You sure you can wait to get to the hotel room?  Most churches have a cry room. 
"Do not tempt the Mor thy Mod."

Mor no longer posts on OCNet.  He follows threads, posts his responses daily, occasionally starts threads, and responds to private messages when and as he wants.  But he really isn't around anymore.


Offline homedad76

  • Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 420
  • Faith: Eastern Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: OCA
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #24 on: November 22, 2014, 08:59:54 PM »
When we got married (RC church) we included some information on the different parts of the service.  We also included the rules for communion because a lot of our guests were not Catholic.  Our parents didn't like it at first but we insisted.  But it was done with tact and literally copied word for word from the missal.  Other then that not much explanation was needed.  If someone isn't willing to at least sit through the wedding ceremony of your faith they honestly aren't willing to accept you.
"However hard I try, I find it impossible to construct anything greater than these three words, 'Love one another' —only to the end, and without exceptions: then all is justified and life is illumined, whereas otherwise it is an abomination and a burden."

—Mother Maria of Paris

Offline hecma925

  • Non-clairvoyant
  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 8,787
  • Pray for me, a sinner.
    • Blog
  • Faith: Confederate Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Puerto Rican Orthodox Sobor
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #25 on: November 23, 2014, 01:51:03 AM »
If it were up to me I'd just have the wedding then it'd be straight off to the hotel room.

You sure you can wait to get to the hotel room?  Most churches have a cry room. 

That's wrong on several levels.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Another blog - http://literarydiktator.blogspot.com/

Offline Maria

  • Orthodox Christian
  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 10,979
  • O most Holy Theotokos, save us.
  • Faith: Orthodox Christian
  • Jurisdiction: GOC
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #26 on: November 23, 2014, 02:38:13 AM »
There were a bunch of relatives we did not even invite due to their bent for making anti-Orthodox statements. Instead, they were sent wedding announcements (or very late invitations) that the event had already taken place.

By the way, whenever their sons and daughters have gotten hitched, we were never sent invitations as they did not want any Orthodoxers present at their Baptist weddings.
And on the other side of the coin, those people are all looking at their lack of invite and are probably saying the same thing about you.

What was that thing Christ said that one time, turning the other cheek and all of that? They're family, right?

When said Baptist relatives let us know that they would hand out chick tracts to all our guests, then we had no choice but to avoid inviting them.
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline Maria

  • Orthodox Christian
  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 10,979
  • O most Holy Theotokos, save us.
  • Faith: Orthodox Christian
  • Jurisdiction: GOC
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #27 on: November 23, 2014, 02:41:26 AM »
In addition, said Baptist relatives said that they did not want to attend the Greek Orthodox wedding service as they thought we were icon idol worshipers. Neither did they want to attend the banquet where alcohol freely flowed and Greek dance music was being played. They view alcohol and dance music as diabolical.

They excused themselves and would not listen to any of our explanations. They called those excuses.
Lord have mercy.

They really need our prayers.
« Last Edit: November 23, 2014, 03:09:39 AM by Maria »
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline Maria

  • Orthodox Christian
  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 10,979
  • O most Holy Theotokos, save us.
  • Faith: Orthodox Christian
  • Jurisdiction: GOC
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #28 on: November 23, 2014, 03:07:46 AM »
The wife of my husband's best man told my hubby that she found our wedding ceremony to be "joyless".  But then, she comes from a happy-clappy tradition where where if they don't have a rock band and snake handlers in church, it just isn't true worship.

Fortunately, my hubby told me about her comment after the reception.  He was very wise in that decision.
Who on earth would tell someone getting married that their wedding is "joyless"?  :o I want to slap her myself...
To top it all off, immediately after the ceremony she protested the use of icons and made that fact known, in no uncertain terms, to one of the novices at the monastery where we were married.  Needless to say, I don't think we'll be inviting them to my husband's Chrismation.  :)

Your relatives sound like some of my strange Baptist relatives. 

Lord have mercy.
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline Maria

  • Orthodox Christian
  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 10,979
  • O most Holy Theotokos, save us.
  • Faith: Orthodox Christian
  • Jurisdiction: GOC
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #29 on: November 23, 2014, 03:24:03 PM »
The wife of my husband's best man told my hubby that she found our wedding ceremony to be "joyless".  But then, she comes from a happy-clappy tradition where where if they don't have a rock band and snake handlers in church, it just isn't true worship.

Fortunately, my hubby told me about her comment after the reception.  He was very wise in that decision.
Who on earth would tell someone getting married that their wedding is "joyless"?  :o I want to slap her myself...
To top it all off, immediately after the ceremony she protested the use of icons and made that fact known, in no uncertain terms, to one of the novices at the monastery where we were married.  Needless to say, I don't think we'll be inviting them to my husband's Chrismation.  :)

Your relatives sound like some of my strange Baptist relatives. 

Lord have mercy.


Any prayers and suggestions would be appreciated. These Baptist relatives are part of a cult.
They have cut all ties with all our other relatives. As it stands now, they do not want any correspondence from us, neither do they share any information on births, weddings, and funerals.
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline JamesR

  • Virginal Chicano Blood
  • Taxiarches
  • **********
  • Posts: 6,384
  • St. Augustine of Hippo pray for me!
  • Faith: Misotheistic Eastern Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Orthodox Church *of* America
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #30 on: November 23, 2014, 04:50:08 PM »
The wife of my husband's best man told my hubby that she found our wedding ceremony to be "joyless".  But then, she comes from a happy-clappy tradition where where if they don't have a rock band and snake handlers in church, it just isn't true worship.

Fortunately, my hubby told me about her comment after the reception.  He was very wise in that decision.
Who on earth would tell someone getting married that their wedding is "joyless"?  :o I want to slap her myself...
To top it all off, immediately after the ceremony she protested the use of icons and made that fact known, in no uncertain terms, to one of the novices at the monastery where we were married.  Needless to say, I don't think we'll be inviting them to my husband's Chrismation.  :)

Your relatives sound like some of my strange Baptist relatives. 

Lord have mercy.


Any prayers and suggestions would be appreciated. These Baptist relatives are part of a cult.
They have cut all ties with all our other relatives. As it stands now, they do not want any correspondence from us, neither do they share any information on births, weddings, and funerals.

I thought your family was Marian Catholic of something? Where did the Baptists come from?
...Or it's just possible he's a mouthy young man on an internet forum.
In the infinite wisdom of God, James can be all three.

Offline sakura95

  • Resident Philosonoob
  • OC.net guru
  • *******
  • Posts: 1,204
  • Aegyo mode activate!!!✿
  • Faith: Orthodox seeker
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #31 on: November 23, 2014, 05:27:10 PM »
In addition, said Baptist relatives said that they did not want to attend the Greek Orthodox wedding service as they thought we were icon idol worshipers. Neither did they want to attend the banquet where alcohol freely flowed and Greek dance music was being played. They view alcohol and dance music as diabolical.

They excused themselves and would not listen to any of our explanations. They called those excuses.
Lord have mercy.

They really need our prayers.

That's terrible  :(

Most of the Protestants I know have no qualms attending Catholic Masses for weddings and funerals. The most negative thing I heard is that Mass is boring.

Lord have mercy.
My Lord, My Lord, give my worthless soul the illumination of Wisdom in your mercy

Offline Maria

  • Orthodox Christian
  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 10,979
  • O most Holy Theotokos, save us.
  • Faith: Orthodox Christian
  • Jurisdiction: GOC
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #32 on: November 23, 2014, 06:06:56 PM »
The wife of my husband's best man told my hubby that she found our wedding ceremony to be "joyless".  But then, she comes from a happy-clappy tradition where where if they don't have a rock band and snake handlers in church, it just isn't true worship.

Fortunately, my hubby told me about her comment after the reception.  He was very wise in that decision.
Who on earth would tell someone getting married that their wedding is "joyless"?  :o I want to slap her myself...
To top it all off, immediately after the ceremony she protested the use of icons and made that fact known, in no uncertain terms, to one of the novices at the monastery where we were married.  Needless to say, I don't think we'll be inviting them to my husband's Chrismation.  :)

Your relatives sound like some of my strange Baptist relatives. 

Lord have mercy.


Any prayers and suggestions would be appreciated. These Baptist relatives are part of a cult.
They have cut all ties with all our other relatives. As it stands now, they do not want any correspondence from us, neither do they share any information on births, weddings, and funerals.

I thought your family was Marian Catholic of something? Where did the Baptists come from?

My family was devout Catholic until 1970, then they suddenly left and became Protestants.
Everyone in my family had decided to become Baptist almost overnight, except me, so I was called the Prodigal because I refused to join them. However, my godmother had wisely instructed me. If it were not for her, I might have been convinced to join them, and then never discovered Orthodox Christianity.

She instructed me on two key points:

(1) Baptists have no apostolic succession, so they are cut root Christians without any real Deacons, Priests. or Bishops.
(2) Baptists cannot celebrate the Eucharist without a valid Priesthood, so their use of grape juice and crackers is just that.

From the first two points, points three and four follow:

(3) The Holy Catholic Church was instituted to celebrate the Eucharist ... "do this in memory of Me."
(4) Without the Eucharist, we cannot be saved: "Unless you eat My Body and drink My Blood you shall not have eternal life."
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline KostaC

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 233
  • Chicago River Dyeing, March 15th, 20
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #33 on: November 23, 2014, 11:21:24 PM »
Did any of you run into a situation where some family/ friends would find an orthodox church wedding with crowning and building too weird for them? How would you or did you deal with the situation?

I personally didn't run into it, but my Mother did at her wedding. My Dad's side of the family is uh shall we say, a bit coarse. They're set in their ways, and anyone who is different is weird. What bugs me is that this trait is mostly relegated to my immediate, the family I can't avoid (my dad's cousin and his wife were so excited to visit an Orthodox church that they packed up their infant and toddler and came to church like two hours early and they had nothing but positive things to say, even 23 years later). At my own parents' wedding at my Mother's parish (and my future parish), my paternal Grandfather said "what, they don't got any heat in this joint?" Apparently, "joint" is 1940's slang for low-class establishment, so he meant it disparagingly. My Grandparents remained unimpressed by the wedding. But tough luck: it was my parents' day, not theirs. All you can really do is grin and bear it, and maybe come up with good comebacks. Good luck and congratulations! «Η ώρα καλή!» as we say in Greek  ;D!
«Μὴ μεριμνᾶτε λοιπὸν διὰ τὴν αὔριον, διὀτι ἡ αὐριανὴ ἡμέρα θὰ φροντίσῃ διὰ τὰ δικά της πράγματα. Φθάνει ἡ στεναχώρια τῆς ἡμέρας». Κατά Ματθαίον 6:34

"Bendito seja o que vem em nome do Senhor, o Senhor é Deus e se manifestou a nós."

Offline Maria

  • Orthodox Christian
  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 10,979
  • O most Holy Theotokos, save us.
  • Faith: Orthodox Christian
  • Jurisdiction: GOC
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #34 on: November 24, 2014, 12:39:17 AM »
May your problems be little.

And your little ones no problem.
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline Anastasia1

  • My warrior name is Beyoncé Pad Thai
  • OC.net guru
  • *******
  • Posts: 1,216
  • Faith: Oriental Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Armenian
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #35 on: November 26, 2014, 04:42:29 AM »
May your problems be little.

And your little ones no problem.
Like.:)
Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation. (2 Cor 2:6)

Offline Thomas

  • Section Moderator
  • Archon
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,863
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #36 on: November 26, 2014, 12:02:26 PM »
Fortunately for me I come from a dysfunctional Mexican family so I'll be lucky if my parents attend my wedding assuming I find some mail-order bride someday, and they're used to the weirdness of Orthodoxy by now. Although I assume they could take offense at not being able to hold the titles as "best man" or "flower-girl" or whatever since they're not Orthodox.

James, you obviously haven't seen "My Big Greek Wedding" Let them be in the wedding party but not the best man or Bridesmaid (They are the two witnesses of the wedding and have to be Orthodox) but I have seen flowergirls, ring bearers who are not Orthodox but members of the extended family. Make sure the Ouzo flows, the lamb is served ,and most important they are dragged into the dancing. They will love and in the ends say "It was all Greek to me" but admit they had a great time. I know Orthodoxy at times seems too serious for many but what attracted me the most was the love of life and the act of celebration of life that Orthodoxy represents.
Your brother in Christ ,
Thomas

Offline ZealousZeal

  • Archon
  • ********
  • Posts: 2,834
  • Can you stand on your head?
  • Faith: ✓
  • Jurisdiction: OCA
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #37 on: November 26, 2014, 12:06:13 PM »
May your problems be little.

And your little ones no problem.

Ha!  :D I like this.
"For this God is our God forever and ever; He will be our guide, even to the end." Psalm 48:14

Offline Agabus

  • The user formerly known as Agabus.
  • Archon
  • ********
  • Posts: 2,612
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #38 on: November 26, 2014, 12:10:10 PM »
At my daughter's baptism this weekend there's a decent chance the non-Orthodox will outnumber the Orthodox.

My family really doesn't get it, but they accept this is something I've done. My dad will look confused and my mom will take a bunch of pictures that she won't be able to explain to our Baptist family.
Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

THE OPINIONS HERE MAY NOT REFLECT THE ACTUAL OR PERCEIVED ORTHODOX CHURCH

Offline TheTrisagion

  • The Purple Demon is gonna get you if you don't watch out!
  • Toumarches
  • ************
  • Posts: 11,350
  • Faith: Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Antiochian
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #39 on: November 26, 2014, 12:27:47 PM »
At my daughter's baptism this weekend there's a decent chance the non-Orthodox will outnumber the Orthodox.

My family really doesn't get it, but they accept this is something I've done. My dad will look confused and my mom will take a bunch of pictures that she won't be able to explain to our Baptist family.
Hahaha!!!  Priceless. Many years to your daughter!  :)
Quote from: Mor Ephrem
Why can't you just take your spiritual edification like a man? 

Offline Maria

  • Orthodox Christian
  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 10,979
  • O most Holy Theotokos, save us.
  • Faith: Orthodox Christian
  • Jurisdiction: GOC
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #40 on: November 26, 2014, 07:34:39 PM »
Fortunately for me I come from a dysfunctional Mexican family so I'll be lucky if my parents attend my wedding assuming I find some mail-order bride someday, and they're used to the weirdness of Orthodoxy by now. Although I assume they could take offense at not being able to hold the titles as "best man" or "flower-girl" or whatever since they're not Orthodox.

James, you obviously haven't seen "My Big Greek Wedding" Let them be in the wedding party but not the best man or Bridesmaid (They are the two witnesses of the wedding and have to be Orthodox) but I have seen flowergirls, ring bearers who are not Orthodox but members of the extended family. Make sure the Ouzo flows, the lamb is served ,and most important they are dragged into the dancing. They will love and in the ends say "It was all Greek to me" but admit they had a great time. I know Orthodoxy at times seems too serious for many but what attracted me the most was the love of life and the act of celebration of life that Orthodoxy represents.

+1
Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός
Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός
Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος
ἐλέησον ἡμας

Offline yeshuaisiam

  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 4,697
  • A pulling horse cannot kick.
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #41 on: December 03, 2014, 11:11:50 PM »
In my opinion the Eastern Orthodox wedding is one of the most beautiful service in the church.  The beauty of the text is incredible and the ceremony completely amazing.  I'd put it next to the beauty of Good Friday and Pascha, except of course for subject matter.
I learned how to be more frugal and save money at http://www.livingpress.com

Offline Christina

  • Troublemaker
  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 125
  • That's just wrong!
  • Faith: Eastern Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America
Re: orthodox wedding too weird for guests-how to deal?
« Reply #42 on: January 22, 2015, 04:49:38 PM »
Did any of you run into a situation where some family/ friends would find an orthodox church wedding with crowning and building too weird for them? How would you or did you deal with the situation?

Yes.  My husband and I were married before I converted, so I only invited our parents, siblings, and closest friends to the marriage blessing.  My mother told me that she really didn't want to come.  I guess my chrismation and my son's baptism freaked her out so much that she'll never come to my church again.  We had only one guest, a friend of mine from work.  My mother-in-law claimed that she forgot what day it was, and my sister-in-law said that they already had plans.

I dealt with it by going ahead without them.  I'm glad I didn't have to spend any money on a reception or put up with drama.
"You cursed and lost man!  Instead of enduring pain for a single hour, you have made yourself worthy of eternal torment."  ~St. Christina of Ancyra~