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Author Topic: Did you feel/experience a differance after ordination?  (Read 729 times) Average Rating: 0
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HandmaidenofGod
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« on: October 26, 2009, 01:49:19 PM »

Not sure where to post this, so Mods please move if you feel appropriate.

Fathers bless,

I have a question for those who have been ordained to the deaconate and to the priesthood.

After your ordination did you feel "different?" I was just wondering if you felt the laying of hands and the ordination had a differance in who you were or how you saw things.

I've been told by one priest's wife that prior to ordination, her husband couldn't carry a tune, but after ordination, could chant perfectly.  laugh

I was just wondering if you saw or felt a differance in anything in life after ordination?

Since this is obviously something most of us will never experience, I was interested in hearing about yours.

In XC,

Maureen
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Shlomlokh
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« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2009, 02:24:50 PM »

Not sure where to post this, so Mods please move if you feel appropriate.

Fathers bless,

I have a question for those who have been ordained to the deaconate and to the priesthood.

After your ordination did you feel "different?" I was just wondering if you felt the laying of hands and the ordination had a differance in who you were or how you saw things.

I've been told by one priest's wife that prior to ordination, her husband couldn't carry a tune, but after ordination, could chant perfectly.  laugh

I was just wondering if you saw or felt a differance in anything in life after ordination?

Since this is obviously something most of us will never experience, I was interested in hearing about yours.

In XC,

Maureen

I think this is a great question! I'm very excited to follow this thread.

If I could extend it, I would ask for those who converted what they felt/experienced after being baptized and christmated.

In Christ,
Andrew
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Anastasios
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« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2009, 02:37:16 PM »

When I was being baptized, the first two immersions were uneventful, but after the third immersion, it was like scales fell off of my eyes and I could perceive "beyond" the physical world around me.  It only lasted a few minutes, indubitably because baptism is not magic and so one does not instantly become perfect and stay that way.  Several sinful tendencies that I had suffered from before baptism were utterly destroyed, however, on that blessed day.

My diaconal ordination was joyous and I did not experience anything out of the ordinary.  When I had my priestly ordination, it was as if fire was reigning down upon my head and I felt the intense feeling of my sinfulness but at the same time I was being covered by an intense grace.  When I stood up I felt like I had been  blindsided and was "out of it" so to speak; it was rather overwhelming.

I don't generally place much emphasis on feelings, but I do have to say my life changed after baptism as did my wife's and I certainly felt different after I was ordained, although again it was not magic and so it's a constant struggle to try and live up to the blessedness I experienced at both of these events.  I think God might allow such feelings/experiences so that we will have something to measure ourselves against. Yet not all people experience things like that, so seems to be a rather personal and individualized phenomenon.
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Fr. George
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« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2009, 05:04:30 PM »

Since two of the three experiences are fresh in my mind (I was baptized + chrismated at 5 months old, so we'll just say I can't recall it):

I think my ordination to the priesthood struck me after the fact more than my deaconal ordination, but I found the deaconal ordination a more moving experience while it was happening.  Of course, I wasn't given much time to ruminate about the one, since the other happened a mere 24 hours later.

As to whether or not I felt different, I would say "not in some sort of magical way," only in the sense of "I'm finally doing what I've wanted to do all my life."  There is a different serenity, happiness, etc. that I've felt in these brief 9 days, and certainly a different sense while serving at the Altar Table rather than merely near it.

Although I would say that while kneeling before the Holy Table I did feel a profound sense of unworthiness and a bit of trepidation while His Eminence read the prayers. It's a good thing God is Good, and allows sinners like myself to serve Him in capacities we are not worthy of.
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« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2009, 05:58:37 PM »

I know that during the solemn Kyrie Eleisons during the ordination, I was weeping like a faucet.   After the ordination, as I was holding the Lamb, I had a profound experience, and will not share the details, but did have a profound experience.  Both the ordination to the diaconate and the priesthood were beautiful.   

I will say this, however, that in terms of impact on my overall view of the Church, becoming a Pastor (Rector/Nastoyatel/Proistamenos) has been the biggest adjustment, with many many struggles.   From my experience, as a layman, reader, subdeacon, deacon and 2nd priest, it was fairly "easy" to enjoy things without preoccupation and distraction even when things were "hard."  But becoming the Pastor of a parish is a whole other ballgame.  It comes with many struggles that are not known and cannot be explained to any but those who undertake it.  You did not worry week after week about who was there and who was not, because their souls were not hanging around your neck and shepherd.   You were not preoccupied with all their worries and fears (ever seen "Bruce Almighty," where he all of a sudden hears all of the voices of those who are praying and making it known what their problems are--with you as the instrument of solution).   Somehow, Confessions are much harder as a pastor.   Although I was giving confessions as a second priest, including to hierarchs, it did not seem to weigh as heavy.   People's misunderstandings of you or the message you are preaching did not seem to smack you repeatedly in the face as much as when you are a Pastor.   Somehow, your imperfections as a human being are not as much focused upon as a second priest, deacon, etc. laymen as when you are Pastor.   Some want you to be perfect, and nothing less will do, even if they say that is not what they expect.  Some hold the opinion they will quit the church before they ever tell you what problem they have with you, instead of simply talking and coming to a resolution, and their absence haunts you.         
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HandmaidenofGod
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O Holy St. Demetrius pray to God for us!


« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2009, 10:42:54 PM »

Thank you all for sharing your experiences. It's been a blessing to have a little glimpse as to what it must be to go through such a profound and life changing experience.

I pray that God will surround you with His angels and guide you in your ministry. I can't imagine the weight that is on your shoulders, (Atlas comes to mind), and pray that God will give you the strength to get through it.
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"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jer 29:11
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