Author Topic: Is There A Lawyer In the House?  (Read 1047 times)

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Online Justin Kissel

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Is There A Lawyer In the House?
« on: October 25, 2009, 05:39:53 PM »
Is there a lawyer out there that can help me? I have a couple questions that I need advice on. Familiarity with family law would be most helpful. If there is a lawyer out there that is willing to share some advice, could you PM me? No lawyer that I contacted would do pro bono work, work at a reduced fee, or work with a payment plan, and I don't have $2000 (which is what the lawyers I talked to wanted to work in the county in question), so I'm sort of in a bind.
« Last Edit: October 25, 2009, 05:41:48 PM by Asteriktos »

Offline ialmisry

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Re: Is There A Lawyer In the House?
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2009, 08:42:15 PM »
Is there a lawyer out there that can help me? I have a couple questions that I need advice on. Familiarity with family law would be most helpful. If there is a lawyer out there that is willing to share some advice, could you PM me? No lawyer that I contacted would do pro bono work, work at a reduced fee, or work with a payment plan, and I don't have $2000 (which is what the lawyers I talked to wanted to work in the county in question), so I'm sort of in a bind.

A man asks a lawyer "If I pay you $500, will you answer three questions?"

"Sure.  What's the other two?"
Question a friend, perhaps he did not do it; but if he did anything so that he may do it no more.
A hasty quarrel kindles fire,
and urgent strife sheds blood.
If you blow on a spark, it will glow;
if you spit on it, it will be put out;
                           and both come out of your mouth

Offline ms.hoorah

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Re: Is There A Lawyer In the House?
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2009, 09:38:19 PM »
Is there a lawyer out there that can help me? I have a couple questions that I need advice on. Familiarity with family law would be most helpful. If there is a lawyer out there that is willing to share some advice, could you PM me? No lawyer that I contacted would do pro bono work, work at a reduced fee, or work with a payment plan, and I don't have $2000 (which is what the lawyers I talked to wanted to work in the county in question), so I'm sort of in a bind.

A man asks a lawyer "If I pay you $500, will you answer three questions?"

"Sure.  What's the other two?"
Why were lawyers banned from the Running of the Bulls?
    They charged too much

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

     A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Please help Asteriktos.

Offline ialmisry

  • There's nothing John of Damascus can't answer
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Re: Is There A Lawyer In the House?
« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2009, 10:33:30 PM »
Is there a lawyer out there that can help me? I have a couple questions that I need advice on. Familiarity with family law would be most helpful. If there is a lawyer out there that is willing to share some advice, could you PM me? No lawyer that I contacted would do pro bono work, work at a reduced fee, or work with a payment plan, and I don't have $2000 (which is what the lawyers I talked to wanted to work in the county in question), so I'm sort of in a bind.

A man asks a lawyer "If I pay you $500, will you answer three questions?"

"Sure.  What's the other two?"
Why were lawyers banned from the Running of the Bulls?
    They charged too much

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

     A vampire only sucks blood at night.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Please help Asteriktos.


What's the difference between a philosopher and a lawyer?  The philosopher is interested in Truth.
Question a friend, perhaps he did not do it; but if he did anything so that he may do it no more.
A hasty quarrel kindles fire,
and urgent strife sheds blood.
If you blow on a spark, it will glow;
if you spit on it, it will be put out;
                           and both come out of your mouth

Offline ms.hoorah

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Re: Is There A Lawyer In the House?
« Reply #4 on: October 25, 2009, 10:51:53 PM »
Before someone complains about the lawyer jokes.....

Two therapists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other therapist looks old, worried, and withered.
The older looking one asks the other, "What's your secret? Listening to other people's problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me."
The younger looking one replies, "Who listens?"
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A man who thinks he's George Washington has been in the psych ward for months. He has finally reached the day of his discharge. He ends his final session by telling his clinician, "Tomorrow, we'll cross the Delaware and surprise them when they least expect it." As soon as he's gone, the clinician sighs deeply, picks up the phone, and says, "King George, this is Benedict Arnold. I have the plans.
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How do you tell the difference between the staff and the patients at a psychiatric hospital?
-The patients eventually get better.

-Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God.
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How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
-None. The light bulb will change itself when it's ready.
-Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.
-Just one, but it takes sixty-nine visits.

-"Why does the light bulb necessarily have to change?"

-One, but he must first consult the DSM-IV.
-"How many do “you” think it takes?"

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« Last Edit: October 25, 2009, 10:57:42 PM by ms.hoorah »

Online Justin Kissel

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Re: Is There A Lawyer In the House?
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2009, 01:52:01 AM »
To those who PM'd me, thanks for help and also thank you to the person who offered to pray for us. I think I've got my issues... if not resolved, then at least pretty well covered in my mind.