I've made it clear on other posts that I am a Protestant, but over the months I've had a desire to learn more about Orthodoxy and perhaps even become a catachumen.
The problem is this. First of all, I'm somewhat of a loner. For me to integrate into any group requires a lot of internal coercion. The second part is that for the past two years I've been involved in a Protestant church. This particular church stresses membership, daily personal devotion and an ecclesiology that straddles the fence between high and low church. For one thing, they stress that discipline from the church is important. They are quasi-Calvinistic in theology (though I doubt they go as far as teaching dual predestination).
One week from now, they will have their "membership classes" (which I consider "catechism lite"... awwww.....) which, from what I hear, is followed up with a "membership" interview and a ceremony that involves holding up a certificate and answering "I will" to questions that the preacher asks. I was pondering going to the classes since I already almost finished one of the prerequisites for becoming a member, that is, their "catechism lite" Sunday school classes, Fundamentals Of The Faith. But after devouring all I could about Orthodox Christianity (seriously, orthodoxwiki.org has replaced Tv Tropes as my favorite Wiki site), and after attending the Divine Liturgy, I was wondering if I should reconsider.
The problem is that I've spent two years making friendships in the church and I almost feel that trying to "become" Orthodox while still technically being a member would be an act of cuckoldry. Though, I have told some of my friends and acquaintances about my interest in Orthodoxy. This church also has a trait held in common with almost all Protestant confessions, that is, "Mariaphobia" and "Hagiophobia" (saint fear). They also believe that Communion is nothing but a symbol, do in only once a month (
) and yet somehow uphold that partaking with an impure heart is tantamount to eating and drinking damnation to yourself.
So my fear is giving something I've been working on in order to pursue something unfamiliar to me. Thoughts?