The following is part of email that I sent to DOS. It kind of explains where i have been and where I am now. I know it is kind of lazy and all, but I spent almost a hour and half writing it and so I am sharing it with you all.
I am writing you today because I have been considering becoming Orthodox for about three years, but have not done anything to head in that direction for some time. I have been posting on a message board called ChristianForums.com and have explained my situation and one of the people there directed me to this sight.
They had suggested that I talk to a priest as soon as I could, but that poses a little bit of a problem because I don’t have an Orthodox Church within 70 miles of where I live. I have been studying about the Orthodox Church through this website and a few other that represent Orthodox Churches in America. I have almost over loaded myself with information, but the most important thing is that I found myself at home when I discovered that the Orthodox Church was truly the Church that Christ established from the beginning.
I Guess I should outline my search for God and His Church to let you better understand where I am right now in my life. I grew up for the most part Roman Catholic. In my teenage years I rejected their teaching after realizing that there were some gross inconsistencies with what I was reading in the Holy Bible at the time. The reasons I left are as follows:
1. The infallibility of the Pope
2. The Changing of the Apostles Creed
3. The seemingly increasing idea that Mary is equal to Jesus.
4. The (what seemed at the time) worship of Saints i.e. asking them to do
thing for you.
To the dismay of my family which did not even attend church to begin with I started searching for Truth. I have looked into many different churches with in what most would call Protestant denominations and even some that were not so mainstream and I ended up having some real problems with everyone I went to. Then someone told me that I just needed to over look some of the small differences and have a home church that taught the Bible. Sounds good on the surface, but I still always felt something very important was lacking. I was trying to serve God, but never being fully satisfied with what I was seeing in all these different Churches.
This all eventually lead me to stop going to churches all together. This was no better because I was becoming judgmental and had hardly any fellowship. I became argumentative whenever I talked to anyone about Christianity. I was still effectively lost as to what to do or where to go with my faith.
It was at the website (Chistianforums.com) that prompted me to look into the Orthodox Church. I had completely passed over ever looking into the Orthodox because in my mind I thought they were just Roman Catholic with another name. That was not a conclusion that I arrived at because of any kind of study, but a misguided assumption that I had because of my misgivings concerning the Roman Catholic Church. Like I said above I started looking into The Orthodox after visiting this website and reading a long list of conversion stories that are posted there. I was blown away by what I had read. I couldn’t believe there were so many other people that had very similar journeys as I had before finally converting to Orthodoxy. I read everything I could find about Orthodoxy and even was emailing Father Patrick in Illinois. He helped me establish a prayer rule and helped me through some of my questions. He was very helpful. He sent me an Orthodox study Bible and his book on Job. Even though I talked with him for a while nothing would prepare me for what was about to happen next.
I had a great tragedy happen to me that tore me apart. I stopped praying, I stopped contacting Father Patrick. I turned my back on God and His Church and was so full of anger. I felt as though I had been abandoned completely. All through this I prayed and prayed, but nothing stopped happening I felt lost once again. This attitude sent me spiraling down out of control and my life end up crashing just a few short days ago.
To be honest I blame myself for all that is happening to me now. I feel as if I turned my back on God and His Church and now I am paying the price. I find myself beaten, homeless and without hope. As bad as all this is it has forced me to turn my eyes toward God once again.