I don't know you yet I empathize with your circumstances. As a parent it is always in our nature to want the best for our child and especially spiritually. When things are not good in our marriages and in the rest of our lifes it would be a natural response to want to offer stability to a thirteen year old who has already gone through a number of changes already; yet she is only thirteen. This age is a time when making choices for themselves is like the changing of the tide, today she doesn't want the Catholic church but the Orthodox; next year she might want something different.
She has been steadfast in her desire to become a member of the Orthodox Church for more than 3 years. It was my uncertainty and waffling that kept her in the Catholic Church. I am beginning to think that doing so was detrimental to her.
I believe it is important to look at this in this aspect as well because of the nature of things within the framework of your home. One more move away from your husband doing things without him, is doing something seperate from him with your daughter involved.
We're already going to church without him as he has not, since this situation began three months ago, gone to Mass once. If it were not for me insisting on taking my daughter to Mass she would not have been to church at all in the past three months. He has removed himself from that aspect of our lives already - abdicating his responsibility to see to her religious and spiritual formation.
Taking her to visit the Orthodox parish and giving her a chance to explore her desire to seek to join the Orthodox Church is really not that different from taking her to Mass by myself.
What does your husband think about all of this? Have you sought his input on your daughters feelings about the Orthodox church? This really would be a joint decision by the two of you as it is his daughter as well. To me if it were something in anyway that was going to bring you together it would be seeking his input not doing it without his approval.
None of this is being done without his knowledge or tacit approval. Both he and my daughter were more certain about becoming Orthodox than I was. I was the one who balked. I was the one who wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. We would probably be well on our way to joining the Orthodox Church as a family were it not for my cold feet.
I told him yesterday that we were going to be attending the DL (partially in hopes of enticing him to accompany us). He said, "Fine," and then moved on to another subject. Later that day I brought up the idea of dd choosing to convert, even if neither her father nor I did. I told her that if that was what she wanted I would do whatever was necessary to ensure that she was able to attend the DL. My husband was with us during that conversation and he said, "Me, too." So he is not opposed to her making this decision if that is what she feels is right.
Secondly, I would encourage you to pray before talking to a priest which is a place which you and your husband have visited; I would suggest you approach your husband about the both of you speaking to the priest together, which is fair. The idea is interdependent not independent. I am all for the Orthodox church yet I am for what brings unity in a marriage first. I pray for God's wisdom, knowledge and insight in your circumstance..
I have approached my husband several times about speaking to a priest together. Each time he has acted as though I haven't spoken or said, "I'll think about it." While never actually coming to a decision. I have reached a point where I need spiritual guidance about this situation and if my husband won't go with me, despite repeated requests, then clearly I must proceed on my own.